Bad Behavior (The Last Time Traveler Book 3)

by Aaron J. Ethridge

  “Morgan,” he said, “you and I have to be careful. We may be expected to drink a toast or two and the wine here is anything but non-alcoholic.”

  “I can handle it,” the young man assured him.

  “Well,” Robert replied, “don't try unless you have to. Girls, obviously, I don't want you to touch it under any circumstances.”

  “Why not?” Morgan asked.

  “My people...” Cleo began.

  “The Escargotians,” Morgan laughed.

  “Sure, why not,” she shrugged. “Anyway, alcohol doesn't always agree with them.”

  “It's not that,” the traveler corrected. “In fact, it always agrees with them way too much.”

  “Still,” she said thoughtfully, “I'm sure I could handle a toast or two.”

  “What makes you think that?” Robert asked with a wide smile. “Have you ever had any?”

  “No,” she admitted. “But, Morgan is sure he can handle it and he's never taken a drink.”

  “Yes, I have,” he laughed.

  “When?”

  “When I turned twenty-one,” he explained. “I bought a six pack and drank four of them. I threw up twice and then passed out. I never did it again. That's for chumps...”

  “Either way,” Cleo said, shaking her head. “I'm sure I could have a taste since you're here to keep an eye on me.”

  “My being here to keep an eye on you is why you're not going to have any,” he explained.

  “Why can't I?” Azure asked.

  “You're underage,” Robert said, shaking his head.

  “That is nonsense,” she laughed. “I'm immortal.”

  “Basically,” the traveler nodded. “But, you're also nineteen.”

  “That means I'm an adult.”

  “Not when it comes to wine.”

  “If I'm too young to make that decision for myself,” she replied, “I'm too young to be on my own without a guardian.”

  “I'm your guardian,” Robert replied.

  “Then you can let me have a glass,” she argued.

  “I could,” the traveler admitted. “But, Morgan has this plan involving you, him, and wine. As your guardian, it's my duty to make sure that plan never succeeds. Well... Not unless you two end up married, anyway.”

  “Exactly what is this plan?” she asked, suspiciously eying Morgan.

  “It's not a plan,” the young man denied. “It was just something I said to Rob once being funny.”

  “Well, don't say it again,” she demanded.

  “I won't,” he assured her.

  The companions quickly made their way into the main hall where they were introduced to numerous lords and ladies, including Sir Galfin Sharp and his – although the knight didn't know it – kinswoman, Maria Sharp; who was currently going by the pseudonym Lady Alicia Gray. Although it had been Robert's intention to get as close to their quarry as they could as quickly as possible, it led to some side effects that he hadn't anticipated.

  For one thing, Sir Galfin, along with several other lords, almost instantly began to show more than passing interest in Cleo and Azure. This situation was complicated by the fact that Morgan was fairly tall and relatively handsome and Robert was very handsome and extremely charming. Plus, of course, when faced with a passel of ladies that couldn't help but show him marked attention, which happened all too often, all of Robert's finest resolutions completely collapsed in less time than it takes for an attractive young woman to flutter her eyelashes.

  As a result, the traveler became the swaggering, flirtatious, giant of self-confidence that he tried so hard to keep under control most of the time. Okay... So, he never tried to keep it under control at all. He did, however, generally try to direct it almost entirely at Cleo. Of course, the current situation made that completely impossible. He had to do his best to absolutely captivate Miss Sharp's attention while, at the same time, making sure that she stayed away from Sir Tinnam Yon. This proved far easier than he had anticipated, both because Miss Sharp seemed to develop an immediate thing for him, and the only person in the room Sir Tinnam had eyes for was Azure.

  Another issue was the fact that Sir Galfin kept making toast after toast. Had Robert been a jealous man... Actually, he was a violently jealous man... So, let me put that another way... Had Robert had any reason at all to be jealous, the frequency with which the knight kept coming back to Lady Marian Fitzwalter as an object worthy of being toasted would have quickly annoyed him. As it was, however, he was just happy that Sir Galfin was too busy with Cleo to be paying any attention at all to Miss Sharp.

  As per Robert's advice, Morgan had only been taking the smallest sips of wine during the mind-numbing number of toasts that were made. On top of this, the two young men were eating as much as they could as fast as they could. This kept their level of intoxication somewhere between non-existent and completely-manageable. The same could not be said of Miss Sharp, or many of the other lords and ladies for that matter, however. Not that they were anywhere near certifiably drunk but, they were certainly in a very good mood.

  In a matter of minutes, it became glaringly obvious to Morgan why Sir Tinnam had kissed Maria Sharp. Even he could tell that the girl was clearly asking for it. She kept doing her absolute best to get all up in Robert's face. Somehow, he managed to keep escaping her attempts while, at the same time, being just flirtatious enough to make sure that she kept trying. The young man came to the firm conclusion that young ladies just shouldn't drink when they were in mixed company. It was just asking for trouble.

  As he glanced around the room, he began to truly understand the wisdom of Robert's non-alcoholic champagne policy. Far too many of the young men that filled the room were too loud, too boisterous, and far too ready to argue at the slightest provocation. For their part, the young ladies were somewhat less than completely ladylike; acting, if not downright indecent, far more forward than was completely permissible by the current customs of their people. It was no wonder someone got killed at this party. Alcohol could be seriously dangerous if you didn't treat it with respect.

  Although, as far as he could tell, their plan seemed to be going splendidly, Morgan thought that Cleo looked less than pleased. She was standing at Azure's side, doing her best to be polite, but aloof, to the crowd of knights that surrounded them while, at the same time, glaring disapprovingly at Robert as often as she got the chance. In truth, Morgan couldn't understand what she had to be upset over.

  It was true that Robert had clearly broken out his A game and had kissed more hands than he could keep count of but, he hadn't kissed anyone on the lips. Under the circumstances, that was a feat she should have been proud of. More than once, even Morgan had had to avoid the kiss of a slightly overly-amorous – and possibly overly-intoxicated – young lady. Robert, in contrast, seemed to be under a relentless assault of longing lips. He deftly dodged them, however, never offering the slightest offense and managing to keep Miss Maria completely occupied at the same time. Obviously, Robert was loving every glorious second of it but, that was just his natural showmanship. Morgan felt that, in all honesty, Cleo should have appreciated his efforts rather than getting angry with him.

  As the young man was contemplating this, Sir Tinnam did something completely unexpected. The knight slipped his arm behind Azure's back, pulled her up to him, and planted his mouth squarely on hers. Morgan waited for half a second for her to jerk back and slap him, but she didn't. It was obvious that she'd didn't do that because – for some reason – she wanted him to rush to her rescue. At least, he hoped that was what she was waiting for.

  Whatever the case, he didn't keep her waiting long. In less time than it takes a burly knight to finish kissing a ravishingly attractive young woman, Morgan had closed the distance between them, interrupted the pair, and issued Sir Tinnam a challenge. Which is to say: he grabbed the knight by the shoulder, jerked him back, and decked him onto the floor.

  Sir Tinnam instantly accepted; leaping to his feet and drawing his sword. As the crowd spread out
in a circle around the two combatants, Sir Galfin demanded that the duel be conducted according to tradition. He volunteered to serve as Tinnam's second, while Robert offered this same service to Morgan or, as he was known at the time, Sir Miles of Twine.

  The two came together cautiously at first, each testing the abilities of the other. Morgan's heart was pounding in his chest as the sudden realization hit him that he might die right here and now. Video-Robert could have been telling the truth in the form of a lie. After all, that would be just like Robert; to tell him that he wasn't going to die in order to keep him from getting nervous so that he wouldn't get himself killed. Of course, if that had been his plan, he had failed; big time. Nothing made a person more nervous than knowing they might die at any moment and that their only hope of being saved was some egotistical time traveling space lunatic who was absolutely certain he could never fail.

  Still, it had all been worth it. Even if he had known from day one that he would die at this very moment, he would have followed Robert, anyway. Maybe Azure was right. Maybe he didn't have any will of his own after all. Not that it mattered at the moment. What mattered most in the here and now was not getting himself killed. Or, failing that, to die like a man. At least he knew enough about swordplay to lose his life graciously. That was something. It was a thought that actually managed to calm him down a bit.

  Suddenly, Sir Tinnam sprang at him; lashing out with blow after blow. Morgan was stunned. It was obvious that the knight knew what he was doing. However, it was equally obvious that he was no Robert. Come to that, he was no Morgan, either. In the first minute-and-a-half the young man was sure he could have killed his opponent eight or nine times. Had it been appropriate at the moment, Morgan would have burst out laughing. As it was, he decided to give the crowd a real show.

  The pair came together in what appeared to be a whirlwind of blades; the young man almost, but not quite, allowing the knight to injure him time and again. After a bit of this, he turned the tide, driving his opponent back step by step with one well-timed attack after another. Then, he gave the knight the upper hand once again. Finally, Morgan allowed Sir Tinnam to disarm him, whereupon he immediately yielded.

  As was tradition, Sir Tinnam broke Sir Miles' sword; thereby giving his week of shame its official kick off. Both he and Robert were led from the hall where the peasants were welcomed to drive them from the castle by pelting them with handfuls of unpleasantness. As the pair made their way back to the ship, they fell into conversation.

  “That went well, I think,” Morgan observed aloud.

  “It did,” Robert nodded. “Obviously, it didn't go anything like I planned it but, it all turned out for the best. That duel was a sobering moment for the whole crowd. I doubt Sir Tinnam will get himself in any more trouble tonight, which probably means Sir Galfin is perfectly safe. Plus, I didn't have to kiss Maria so, I'm sure Cleo's happy.”

  “She didn't seem all that happy to me.”

  “She gets mad when I flirt with other women,” Robert replied. “She'll get over it once it sinks in that I was doing that to keep from having to kiss another woman.”

  “You're probably right,” Morgan ceded. “What was it those guys were throwing at us?”

  “Unpleasantness.”

  “Right. But, what was it?”

  “Well, Morgan,” the traveler sighed, “they went into a stable to get it.”

  “Right...” the young man said slowly. “You know, unpleasantness aside, that was actually a lot of fun.”

  “Yes, it was.”

  “We should take the girls to a renaissance festival sometime.”

  “Yes, we should.”

  “I mean, I would love to see them in those dresses while they're not flying under false colors. If you know what I'm saying.”

  “I do,” Robert nodded. “Although, I'm amazed that you know what that means. Where did you hear flying under false colors?”

  “International talk like a pirate day,” Morgan explained.

  “That makes sense, I guess.”

  “How long do you think the girls will take?”

  “Long enough for us to get showers I hope,” Robert replied. “I really don't want Cleo to see me like this.”

  “I completely, totally, and in all other ways, agree.”

  Chapter 8: Shocking Developments

  “How much longer are they going to be?” Morgan asked, glancing once again at the ship's chronometer.

  “I still don't know, Morgan,” Robert replied with a sigh. “In fact, I'm basically positive that I won't know until they show back up or until we go get them.”

  “We should go get them now,” the young man asserted. “It's been over three hours.”

  “I know that, Morgan. We've both been watching the same clock, remember?”

  “They could be in trouble.”

  “As I told you two hours ago,” the traveler replied, shaking his head and gazing at the ceiling, “they know what they're doing and we have no idea how long it's going to take them to get Maria alone. Our job here isn't complete until after we have that video. Not to mention that they have transponders in their dresses and we can even pull up their vital statistics.”

  As he said this, Robert pressed a few buttons on the console in front of him.

  “They're fine,” he said, waving at the screen. “Although, their heart-rates are a little high.”

  “But, you're sure they're alright?”

  “I am,” the traveler replied, pushing another button. “Their adrenal levels are perfectly normal, which wouldn't be the case if they were in any danger. Plus, they're already on their way back to the ship.”

  Minutes later, the ladies stepped onto the bridge, slightly moistened with sweat and gently panting.

  “We ran part of the way,” Cleo said before giggling to herself. “We started really missing you two all of the sudden.”

  “Are you alright?” Robert asked, gazing at his fiancée from under a single raised eyebrow.

  “We're wonderful,” Azure replied, joining in her companions giggles and swaying slightly as she spoke.

  “Did you have anything to drink?” the traveler asked, a tone of sincere displeasure in his voice.

  “All kinds of things,” Azure nodded.

  “I'll be more specific. Did you drink any wine?”

  “We had to!” Cleo exclaimed. “They gave a toast to Sir Tinnam and everyone was expected to drink to it. Then, of course, he wanted to kiss Azure again – as a reward for his valiant efforts.”

  “But, we outwitted him,” Azure explained with a knowing wink. “We kept suggesting more and more toasts until he just up and passed out.”

  This statement caused Cleo to start laughing almost uncontrollably.

  “We followed you and Morgan's example, though,” Azure continued, leaning so far to one side that Cleo had to grab her by the hand to keep her from falling over. “We ate a lot. So, as you can plainly see, it didn't affect us at all.”

  “Now,” the green maiden said, releasing Azure and stepping over to wrap her arms around her love, “considering the fact that we did really good, I expect a really good reward, Robert. And, I know you're more than man enough to give it to me.”

  “Sit down for a second,” he said, helping her to her usual seat.

  Morgan offered Azure a similar service.

  “Did Maria Sharp keep toasting everything, as well?” Robert asked.

  “What difference does that make?!” Cleo snapped, before giggling once again and reaching out to take the traveler by the hands. “She's not here; I am. Aren't you the lucky one?”

  “I dread seeing the video,” he said with a chuckle. “If she was in anything like this state, there is no way it's going to make any kind of sense.”

  This statement caused Cleo to bite her lower lip and giggle again.

  “Actually, dearest,” she said, obviously doing her best to sound somewhat sorry and very seductive, “we forgot to record it.”

  “You forgot..
.” he began, raising his voice as he spoke.

  “I know,” she said, throwing her hands up. “I know. We messed up and deserve to be punished. Perhaps what's in order is a rather vigorous span...”

  “Cleo,” Robert interjected, “I want you to go to bed. Right now.”

  “Gladly,” she said with a wide smile.

  She rose to her feet, stepped up to him, and ran her hand slowly down his chest.

  “You know,” she said, gazing into his eyes, “there's room for two, if you'd care to...”

  “Officer Zelbizarre!” he barked. “You are hereby confined to quarters until further notice. Do you understand me?”

  “Yes, Sir,” she replied somewhat sullenly. “But, if you want me, Robert, you know where to find me.”

  “Go,” he said, pointing in the general direction of her room.

  Immediately, she obeyed.

  “That was a little harsh, Robert,” Azure said, her eyes locked on him and a wide smile on her face. “Oh course, it was also extremely forceful. That's a quality I find very exciting in a man.”

  “If you don't watch yourself, Miss Holiday,” he said with a definite tone of warning. “I'll confine you to quarters, as well.”

  “Be careful, Rob,” she giggled. “Some girls would find the idea of you putting them in bondage rather...”

  “Ensign Holiday!” he snapped. “You are also confined to quarters until further notice. Now, get to your room before I have Chief Security Officer Harker escort you there.”

  “Can he use Cleo's handcuffs?” she asked playfully.

  “He can use a tranq-gun.”