“You do remember. I’m glad. You two were such great buddies.”
“I couldn’t have been much older than Micah. I just get flashes every now and then.”
“He loved you very much, sweetheart. And he never would have voluntarily left us.”
“Then why did he climb? He had to know it was dangerous.” Annie’s chest grew tight, though she didn’t know if it was from emotion or the challenge of hiking and talking at the same time.
“He was always so sure of himself. He never perceived it as a danger.”
“Well, he should have.”
“I’m sorry his death left such a void. I know he wouldn’t have wanted it that way. He would want you to be happy.”
“My life is just fine.”
But even as she said the words, Annie suspected that her mother was right. And she wondered what she might have been like had her childhood been carefree and safe, with both a loving father and a mother untouched by grief.
Sadness washed over her as she released a little of the hurt, the anger. The past was done. But she could try to make sure Micah’s experience was better. He would never be turned upside down by loss.
Drew paused and waited for them to catch up. His grin made Annie almost weak in the knees.
Which made her wonder how she had possibly gotten to this point.
As if sensing her mood, Drew and Micah both set about cheering her up. And June was their willing accomplice.
Several hours later as she and Drew headed toward Phoenix on Highway 87, Annie sighed with contentment. “This was the best weekend I’ve had in a long time. Too long.”
He squeezed her hand. “Same here,” he said quietly. “It was everything I’d hoped.”
For her, it was everything she hadn’t dared to hope for in years.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
ANNIE WAS DISTURBED when they arrived at her place at dusk.
She didn’t want Drew to leave.
He had removed Micah out of his seat and carried him through the door. The active weekend combined with the long drive made for a very sleepy boy.
“Go ahead to his room. I’ll get him into some jammies and put him to bed.”
Drew raised an eyebrow. “It’s too early for bed, isn’t it? Won’t he be awake again later?”
Annie remembered giving Drew and Kat hell about letting Micah fall asleep around this time one evening. It would take a while for Drew to discover all the nuances to Micah’s routine.
“He’s so exhausted, I expect him to sleep through till tomorrow morning. He does that every once in a while after he’s spent the weekend in Payson.”
“Okay.”
She followed them into Micah’s room, bemused at how right it seemed to have Drew there. And again, how nice it was to have someone to share in the child-rearing duties. A bonus she’d never anticipated.
“You mind if I do this?” Drew asked.
“Not at all. I’ll get out some clean pajamas.”
After Micah was changed, Drew placed him in his crib and covered him with a lightweight blanket. Little did he know that Micah would kick his covers to the side long before morning.
Drew followed her out of the room.
She glanced over her shoulder at him and smiled. “Why are we tiptoeing? An earthquake wouldn’t wake that child.”
“Some sort of latent parental instinct?”
He hesitated in the family room. “I’ll carry that stuff in and then be on my way.”
“Would you like to stay for a bit? A glass of wine? Or cake and coffee?”
“I’m still full from that early dinner your mom made. But I’d like to stay for a few minutes.”
“Okay. I can help—”
“No, you stay here with Micah.”
He was back almost before she knew it, and there was a moment of awkwardness.
“Water or coffee?” she asked, busying herself in the kitchen.
“Water’s fine.”
When she returned with their drinks, she was glad to see he’d kicked off his shoes and was sitting on the couch as if he’d been around for years.
She sat next to him, close enough that she could absorb his warmth, get a whiff of his scent. Annie couldn’t help but notice how great he looked in a snug, well-worn black T-shirt. He’d been in good shape before Iraq, but now he was all muscle.
Sipping her wine, she tried to get a handle on her emotions.
“Thanks again for taking me this weekend,” he said.
“No thanks necessary. It was fun having you there.”
“I enjoyed it even more than I expected. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure this isn’t all a dream. That Micah really is my son.”
His admission made her eyes mist. “You’re a terrific father,” she admitted slowly.
“It means a lot to hear you say that.” He brushed the hair from her face. “You’re an amazing woman, Annie Marsh.”
His simple statement touched her. “I think you’re pretty amazing, too.”
He cupped her chin with his hand and kissed her. “Would you go out with me on a real date?”
Annie allowed herself to study Drew without pulling back. To take in his stubbled jaw, tousled hair, brown eyes. Those same warm eyes she’d almost lost herself in the first evening they’d met.
“I’d like that.”
It seemed as if her answer hung in the air.
“Good.” Drew kissed the corner of her mouth, pulling her close and trailing kisses down her neck.
Annie angled her body to get nearer, seeking his mouth with hers.
It was all the encouragement he needed. Groaning, he parted her lips and kissed her with a passion reminiscent of their one night together. Only this time, Annie was sober, and her heightened senses told her how much she’d missed by being inebriated the first time.
Unbuttoning his flannel shirt, she ran her palms over the hard muscles of his chest, marveling at how good it felt to be with him. It went beyond his toned body and thrilling kisses. She’d seen Drew’s wonderful soul revealed in the way he treated her and Micah, and loved every bit of him. Whatever the reason, she lost herself in the sensations of learning Drew.
And he seemed to want to learn every inch of her body, sliding his hands beneath her shirt and bra to cup her breasts. His breathing was harsh in her ear, every bit as rapid as hers.
“Let’s—” She only got one word out before he kissed her again, a deep, possessive kiss.
Focus.
She had a child to consider. She broke off the kiss long enough to say, “My…room.”
Drew groaned, leaning his head against the back of the couch.
When she started to rise, he grabbed her by the wrist and tugged her down again. Not on top of him, but next to him.
“We can’t.”
“Micah won’t wake up. He’s out for the night.”
“I mean it’s not…right.”
Annie felt as if he’d struck her. How could he feel it wasn’t right, when it was the most right thing she’d experienced in a long, long time?
He pulled her close and stroked her hair. Though it wasn’t the kind of sexual intimacy she’d had in mind, it was precious nonetheless. She lay against his shoulder. “Help me understand.”
“I had these intense, erotic dreams about Grace while I was in Iraq. Then I came back here and met Annie, and wanted you even more. The whole person, not just the fantasy woman dressed in Kat’s clothes.”
“And the problem is?”
“I want more for myself, more for you, than making love without a commitment. You said yourself it’s not right to rush into things.”
Annie knew she felt more for Drew than she’d ever felt for the men she’d slept with in her early college days. “What are you saying?”
“I made a promise to myself over there. Maybe I was just bargaining with God. ‘If you let me live, I’ll be a better man.’ But I think it’s more than that. It may sound old-fashioned, but I don’t want to dishonor you
. Yes, I had some intense dreams about you over there, but I also felt guilty about how I treated you. When we make love, I want to make sure we’re both committed heart and soul.”
The desire drained from her, replaced by an aching longing. She stroked his stubbled jaw, enjoying even this most innocent touch. “How can I argue with such a beautiful sentiment? Even if my body’s telling me it’s been way too long.”
“Annie, I want you so bad it hurts. Literally. And it would be so easy to follow you to your room and spend the rest of the night having mind-blowing sex.” He winced. “But in the morning, I’d see your beautiful face and know I owed you so much more. And I’d see Micah at the breakfast table and know I’d failed to set an example of what it means to be a man of honor.”
Annie blinked away tears. “I don’t think I’ve ever been rejected quite so beautifully before.”
Drew groaned, wrapping an arm around her and drawing her close. He kissed her softly, lovingly, but without the heat she longed for. “I’m not even close to rejecting you. Just slowing it way down with the physical stuff.”
The strong thud of his heart beneath her ear comforted her. Suddenly, it didn’t matter as much that they hadn’t made love. The sense of loss was still there, but she suspected he was promising her more.
“Then this is a good thing?”
“In the grand scheme, it’s very good. It gives us a chance for our feelings to grow. And I can look you and Micah in the eye tomorrow, not to mention myself in the mirror. Besides, it keeps me right with God. How can that not be a good thing?”
Annie inhaled his musky, masculine scent, felt his chest ripple beneath her cheek as he smoothed the hair at her temple. If he’d been wonderful in bed when they were strangers, she had the feeling the Drew who cared about her would be phenomenal.
“Then it will be worth the wait,” she murmured, ignoring her fear that she might commit to him only to lose him permanently.
CHAPTER TWENTY
DREW OPENED HIS MAILBOX and pulled out a manila envelope. The return address was that of the lab they’d used for the paternity test.
He grabbed a few bills from the back of the box, shut it and locked it.
His steps were surprisingly controlled as he took the cobbled path toward his apartment. Normally, he enjoyed the trip through the landscaped grounds, but today his thoughts were on the contents of the envelope.
He was so certain Micah was his son, the DNA results were just a formality.
When he reached his apartment, he set the mail on the coffee table and sliced open the large envelope with his pocket knife. His hands were steady as he took out the cover sheet and read the results.
Drew whooped with joy.
Micah was his son!
Son of his heart, son of his blood.
He picked up the phone and dialed. There was one person he most wanted to share the news with. One person who would appreciate what this meant to him.
“Hello.”
“Annie, it’s me. Drew. I got the lab results.”
“Are they what you expected?”
“Absolutely. But there was just something about seeing it in black and white. I hope you understand….”
“I tried to put myself in your place and I realized how hard it must be for a guy. Women don’t have to deal with that uncertainty, thank goodness.”
Her understanding made him want to be with her all the more. She’d become an important part of his life in such a short time.
“I thought about you a lot today,” he said.
“Good, because I thought about you, too.”
“Any chance you and Micah would like to go for pizza to celebrate?”
“Hmm, pizza and you. Two of my favorite things. Yes, I think I’d like that. And I know Micah will be thrilled.”
“What, pizza gets top billing? I’ll have to work extra hard to change your mind this weekend when I take you out on a real date.”
“That sounds like a challenge.”
“Only to myself. How about if I pick you guys up in an hour? That’ll give me a few minutes to make a phone call.”
“To your mom?”
“Yeah. She’d kill me if she finds out I didn’t talk to her the instant I knew for sure. But…I had to talk to you first.”
“Call her. We’ll be waiting.”
He smiled, amazed at his luck. Annie was one special woman.
“And Drew?”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks for letting me know first.”
Drew was still smiling when he said goodbye and ended the conversation. There was a new depth, a new understanding between them. He’d always thought sex led to intimacy, not the other way around, but now he had to wonder. Maybe God knew what He was talking about after all?
ANNIE IGNORED THE FLUTTER of excitement when the doorbell rang.
“Daddy!” Micah ran to the door and jumped up and down. “Open.”
Laughing, she said, “I will, be patient. I have to get the big lock.”
She flipped the childproof lock at the same time Micah grasped the knob and twisted.
“Oh, no, you don’t.” She picked him up and made gobbling noises on his neck while she swung the door open.
Drew stood there, an eyebrow raised. He looked as happy as she felt.
“There’s two of my favorite people.”
“Daddy!” Micah scrambled to get down and launch himself at Drew’s knees, where he wrapped him in a pint-size bear hug.
Drew snatched him up and tossed him into the air. “Hey, kid, I missed you. It’s been too long.”
“It’s been less than twenty-four hours,” Annie pointed out.
“That’s what I said. It’s been way too long.” Their gazes locked, and the temperature seemed to rise along with the double meaning.
The suspense was frustrating…and exciting. By the time they finally made love, it would probably only take one touch from him and she’d be over the edge in an instant.
“Let me get Micah’s jacket just in case it’s chilly when we come home.”
“Yeah, the weather’s turned. It may even be a cool Thanksgiving.”
“I’d be even happier with a cool Halloween. Micah’s costume is bound to be hot otherwise.” She grabbed his jacket from the coat closet and swung her purse over her shoulder. “Okay, let’s go. I’m starving.”
“Pizza.” Micah clapped his hands.
Annie couldn’t seem to stop smiling. It felt as if the hard times were behind them and only good things could happen. And it was all wrapped up with Drew.
DREW CHUCKLED AS HE listened to Micah chatter away and chew a bite of pizza at the same time, amazed that the boy had been able to talk and eat for a half hour straight. Because of his age, Micah wasn’t very efficient at either task, which made for an interesting dining experience.
“Slow down, buddy, we don’t want you to choke.”
Annie gave the boy a stern look. “Remember, I said not to talk with your mouth full?”
But nothing could stop Micah tonight. They heard all about preschool and the children in his class, unrelated stories that came out in disjointed fragments.
Drew loved every minute of it. Just as he loved the relaxed atmosphere in the neighborhood pizza place. They seemed like a regular family catching a meal.
Annie sighed. “I don’t know why I bother trying to teach him manners.”
“Because you love him, and while you’re relieved he’s a social kid, you don’t want him to be the weird one who grosses out all the other kids in the cafeteria.”
“Very perceptive.” She smiled and sipped her soft drink. “Tell me about your day.”
“Nothing out of the ordinary. Did a couple of home appraisals today. It’s a nice change of pace from all the commercial stuff I do. Most times I get to meet the homeowner and hear the stories of what they’ve done to make a house a home.”
“Saving ideas for when you have your own?”
He grinned. “I have to admit, I’ve
thought more about getting a house since I found out about Micah. I need a place with more space, and a backyard for him to play in.”
“He’d like that.”
Drew held her hand, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb, wondering how she would feel about a permanent commitment. But he didn’t want to push her or their relationship that fast.
“So how was your day?” he asked.
“Good. Brett was—”
Drew’s cell phone started playing reveille, signaling that it was one of his army buddies. He held up a finger to tell Annie to hold that thought while he flipped open the device, noting the familiar number.
“Hey, Steve—”
“It’s Vanessa, Drew. I need your help.” Her voice was strained.
“What’s the matter? Are you crying?”
“It’s Steve. He needs you. Come quick, we’re at home.”
There was a clunking sound, as if the phone had been dropped.
“Vanessa?”
There was no answer; the line was dead.
“What is it?” Annie asked.
“There’s something wrong with Steve. I need to get to his house right away.” He thought for a minute. “I don’t want to leave you here, and it’s in the opposite direction from your house.”
“We’ll go with you. I’ll get a box for the pizza.”
“No, I don’t want you two there. I’m not sure what’s going on.” And didn’t know how bad off Steve might be.
“We’ll sit in the truck until you tell us everything is okay. Now you’re wasting time. Go pull the truck around while I get a box.”
Drew hesitated, but the panic he’d heard in Vanessa’s voice…“Okay.”
He kissed Annie quickly, then headed for the door.
ANNIE SAT IN THE TRUCK with the windows cracked to let in fresh air.
Glancing at the backseat, she was reassured to see Micah still sleeping. He’d exhausted himself in his excitement at the restaurant. And for that she was grateful.
Music played softly from the CD player, but she was far from relaxed. Drew had left the keys in the ignition and had told her to drive away if it sounded as if things were growing heated in the house.
Welcome Home, Daddy Page 16
