She shuddered, hoping she wouldn’t have to choose between getting her son to safety and helping Drew if he needed her. She liked Vanessa and Steve, and wouldn’t be hiding out here in the truck if it weren’t for Micah.
Drew’s grim expression while he drove had told her this wasn’t a minor spat or plumbing emergency. He’d even gone so far as to say he hoped they wouldn’t need the police.
Annie checked the clock on the dash. It had only been fifteen minutes since they’d arrived, but it seemed like hours.
Nearly ten minutes later, Vanessa emerged from the house, her posture stiff.
Annie got out of the truck and went to her. “Is everything okay?”
Vanessa shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Drew says to drive over to the grocery store on the next block and give him half an hour, and then call him first before returning. He’s got his cell out and ready to dial 911. Otherwise, I wouldn’t leave.”
“Tell me what’s going on.”
“We were arguing and…Steve just flipped out. Screaming and throwing things. He’s never done that before. He was like someone I didn’t know.”
Annie touched the other woman’s arm. “Did he hurt you?”
“No. But he wanted to. I could see it in his eyes…He locked himself in the master bedroom instead. I could hear him in there, breaking things, and then it got quiet…I didn’t know what to do, so I called Drew.”
“I’m not leaving, by the way,” Annie stated.
“That’s what he thought you’d say. I’m supposed to tell you to get your pretty butt out of here and keep Micah safe. I’d rather you drove, but I will if I have to. He told me the keys were in the ignition.”
Drew had figured Annie wouldn’t let Vanessa drive off with Micah in the truck. Just as he’d realized their son’s safety would have to come first.
Annie hesitated, but knew she had no choice. “I’ll drive. Get in.”
Vanessa’s shoulders slumped as she went to the passenger side of the truck and opened the door. She paused and stared at the house in disbelief, her eyes swollen and red.
Annie climbed in the driver’s seat and started the engine. Vanessa took the passenger seat and closed the door, securing her seat belt as if by rote. “And he gave me another message. He says he loves you.”
Fear gripped Annie as she reversed down the driveway. Fear for Drew’s safety.
And the realization that she might never recover if something happened to him.
I love you, too, Drew.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
THE MASTER BEDROOM was cool, but Drew wiped perspiration from his eyes. He smelled fear—his, Steve’s. His scalp tingled like it used to when he was on patrol, indicating danger. It was a sixth sense that had never steered him wrong.
Steve leaned against the wall next to the dresser, swaying slightly, a bottle of vodka in one hand and a pistol in the other.
“Can’t stay here.” He gestured with the bottle.
Drew was relieved he didn’t use the gun to punctuate his point. Yet.
“Why not?” he asked
“I almos’ hurt her.” Steve stopped swaying for a moment. Tears trickled down his face. “Be better off without me.”
Drew resisted the urge to glance at the gun.
Instead, he focused on his friend. He had to help Steve get to a safe place where he could get medical care. Before he did something stupid. And permanent.
“Vanessa loves you.”
“She’s…scared of me.”
“You’re not yourself, buddy. I know you would never hurt Vanessa. She knows it, too. We just need to get you some treatment.” He stepped closer.
Steve raised the pistol, stared at it as if wondering how it got in his hand. “Just can’t do it, Drew. I’ve tried. But it’s worse. The night sweats. And feeling like I’m gonna jump outta my skin. I thought it’d get better once I was home. Normal. Nothin’s normal anymore.”
“Man, I hate seeing you hurting like this. Did you tell anyone over there?”
“Nobody to tell. No replacement for Orion yet.” He drank from the bottle. “Did’ya know? Orion’s dead?”
Drew’s gut twisted. He felt as if Steve had pinpointed Drew’s cause for shame and was shining a spotlight on it. But he knew better. His friend was too mired in his own crap to bother pointing out someone else’s.
“I was there when it happened, remember?”
“Yeah.” He swayed, held the gun up for closer inspection. “I wonder if it hurts when you die?”
“I figure I don’t want to find out until I’m an old man, and then I want to go in my sleep. I want to live to see my grandchildren.” He realized it with searing intensity. And he wanted Annie there next to him, growing old with him.
“Can’t make babies with Nessa. Even that doesn’t work anymore.”
Drew winced. He felt totally unequipped for this. But there was no one else.
God, help me get this right. Steve deserves to be safe and well. And while we’re at it, would You keep me safe and well, too?
“It’s because of the PTSD. Once we get you the right treatment, everything will go back to normal.”
“You promise?”
“I promise. Now give me the gun.” He stepped closer.
“Get back.” Steve raised the pistol. His hand trembled, his knuckles were white.
Get back.
Drew felt as if there was an echo in the room.
He moved back, one step, two. And held his breath.
Slowly, Steve lowered the gun.
Go to the window.
Shaking his head, Drew wondered if he was losing his mind.
Go to the window, check on Annie.
Annie. Was she still outside? Or had she followed his instructions and taken Micah and Vanessa to safety?
“I’ll give you some room, buddy.” He backed up, step by step, until he reached the window. Turning, he peered through the blinds, relieved to see the driveway was empty.
“Get away from the window! Sniper!”
He half turned and Steve tackled him.
Drew’s breath was knocked out of him as they hit the floor. It felt as if his chest was compressed, and the pain in his ribs was agonizing.
He rolled, his lungs burning as he sucked in oxygen. “It’s okay…no snipers…here.”
Steve turned on his back and shook his head as if to clear it. “We’re…okay?”
“Yeah…we’re okay.” Drew staggered to his feet and assessed the situation.
Steve lay on the floor, vodka bottle raised as if to save it. His other hand was empty.
And the gun was at Drew’s feet.
He snatched it up and unloaded it, palming the cartridge into the pocket of his jeans.
Steve was passed out, mouth open, snoring lightly, the bottle still gripped in his hand.
ANNIE STARED AT THE clock on the dash for about the millionth time. She flipped open her cell phone to make sure she hadn’t missed a call or received a text message.
She hadn’t.
Vanessa did the same with her phone.
“Nothing. I’m calling Drew.” She pushed one button and waited for the connection. After a short time, she muttered a curse and closed her phone. “He doesn’t answer.”
Annie was more afraid than she’d ever been. Including the time she’d been suspended over Devil’s Canyon with only a battered guardrail standing between her and death. And her date thinking it was funny.
“I’m calling 911,” she said.
Vanessa hesitated. Then she raised her chin. “No, I will. It’s my house. Steve’s my husband.”
But Drew’s my world.
Annie swallowed hard as she watched Vanessa punch three short digits, numbers that had the power to change her life forever. For better or worse.
Annie couldn’t believe she’d managed to put herself in the kind of situation she had been determined to avoid. She loved a man who had willingly walked into a dangerous situation.
To save his friend.
He’d acted with the strength and goodness she’d sensed in Drew the first time she’d met him. And now who he was might take him away from her forever.
“I need to report an emergency situation….” Vanessa sounded faraway as she gave her address. “Already on their way? Thank you.”
Annie began to tremble.
“They received a 911 call from my house. Annie, we’ve got to get over there.”
Annie nodded, turning the key in the ignition.
She drove by rote, feeling numb. It seemed hours later when they arrived, but couldn’t have been more than a few minutes. Red and blue flashing lights illuminated the neighborhood like some sort of Fourth of July block party, complete with neighbors out in the street.
Annie screeched to a halt near a fire truck. There were two police cars and an ambulance, too.
“Fire truck!” Micah pointed.
“Yes, sweetie, a fire truck.”
Vanessa flung open the door and jumped out, running toward the ambulance.
Annie wanted to follow. No, she wanted to outrun her and make sure it wasn’t Drew in that ambulance. But her son kept her anchored to the truck. Whatever was happening, she was sure Micah didn’t need to see it.
The paramedics wheeled out a gurney. She strained to see.
Vanessa touched the man on the gurney, grasped his hand and kissed it.
It had to be Steve. But where was Drew? Inside the house? Dead?
Annie glanced at Micah, torn. Her eyes burned. What if Drew was hurt?
She wiped tears from her face.
“Daddy!”
He was headed toward them across the lawn.
She flung open the door and dashed to meet him, flinging herself into his arms. Her heart beat wildly as she held him, reassured herself that he was real, he was alive. Stepping back, she ran her hands over his arms and chest, making sure there were no injuries.
“You’re okay?”
He gave her a whisper of a smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. Better now that you’re here. I want to hold my son.”
“Absolutely.”
They walked around to the back door. Drew opened it and pulled Micah out of his car seat. He held him tight to his chest, rocking back and forth as they watched the paramedics load Steve in the ambulance.
Annie wrapped her arm around Drew waist, resting her cheek against his shoulder. “Is he going to be okay?”
“I wish I knew.”
DREW’S ADRENALINE STARTED to wear off about the time they reached the hospital. He was grateful Annie had insisted on driving.
He kissed her. “You two take the truck home. Someone’ll drive me over to pick it up tomorrow.”
“I’m staying. I called Kat while you were talking to the officer, and she’s coming here to pick up Micah. I’ll meet you inside after they leave. Now go.”
“I’m not sure I’ll be decent company.”
“I don’t need to be entertained. I just need to be there and know you’re okay. And I want to be there for Vanessa and Steve, too.”
Part of him was grateful. Another part wished she’d go home and leave him to muddle through his confusing thoughts and emotions alone. Something had changed tonight and he needed time to process the ramifications.
But he was too exhausted to argue with her.
Nodding, he got out of the truck. He went around to Micah’s door and leaned in to kiss his soft baby cheek. “Love ya, buddy. Be good for Auntie Kat.”
Micah smiled sleepily and waved.
Drew turned and squared his shoulders, wondering if the ordeal at Steve’s house might be the easy part compared to what was ahead.
He didn’t know much about this kind of thing, but he suspected Steve would be admitted to the psychiatric ward.
He found Vanessa in the waiting room, pacing.
“Have you heard anything yet?” he asked her.
“No. They said something about detox, but that’s for drug addicts and alcoholics.” She twisted the strap of her purse. “He has drunk more since he’s been back, but surely he doesn’t need detox.”
Putting his arm around her shoulder, Drew said, “He needs help. Let’s see what the professionals say, okay? No matter what, I’m here for you two. I’ll help you through whatever comes.”
“Thanks, Drew. I don’t know what I would have done without you. I was afraid they’d…call in a SWAT team and kill him. I knew the only one who could help him was someone who had been over there with him. Someone who could understand.”
“Sir?”
Drew looked up to see the investigating officer.
“You did good tonight.” He stuck out his hand and Drew shook it.
“Thank you, but I was just being a friend.”
“He’ll need that friendship in the coming weeks. It’s good for him to know he’s not alone.”
“You sound like you speak from experience,” Annie said as she joined them.
“My brother-in-law was messed up when he came back. But my wife’s sister is a bulldog. She kept at them until she got what he needed.”
The spark Drew had felt earlier seemed to grow, until he felt consumed with determination.
“It shouldn’t be this way. The guys have no idea what they’re in for when they get home. Steve couldn’t understand why he wasn’t the man he was before. Why these things were happening to him.”
Officer Kilpatrick shook his head. “Well, I need to gather some information from the staff for my report. Good luck to you.” He nodded and left.
Annie touched Vanessa’s arm. “Why don’t you sit down? I’ll go get some coffee.”
“Thanks. I could use it.” Vanessa made herself as comfortable as she could on one of the vinyl waiting room chairs.
Annie hugged Drew tightly, then went in search of the cafeteria.
Drew sat next to Vanessa.
He stared out the window. What had seemed an impossibility the first time Beth had broached the subject, now seemed preordained. He couldn’t turn his back on people like Steve. He would have to go where he was needed most…even if it meant losing Annie. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself otherwise.
Drew watched as she returned with a cardboard tray holding three cups of coffee. Fatigue left faint smudges beneath her eyes. With her glasses, she looked like a student cramming for finals.
A deep, aching sense of loss enveloped him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
ANNIE SIGHED WITH relief when they pulled into her apartment complex parking lot at 5:00 a.m. It was still dark out, but she knew it would be light all too soon.
“Thank goodness Kat’s going to drop off Micah at preschool. I’ll call in a personal day myself and try to get some sleep.”
Drew put the truck in park. “Um, thanks, Annie. You’ve been great about all this.”
His response puzzled her. It was oddly formal for someone who had recently professed his love for her, albeit through a third party.
But they were both tired. “I’d like to think Vanessa and Steve would do the same for us if the circumstances were reversed.”
“I’m sure they would. Well, I’ll walk you to your door.”
Again, the strange politeness sent her on red alert.
“Sure.”
They walked in silence. When they arrived at her door, Drew kissed her on the cheek. “Sleep well.”
“You could stay. I mean, we don’t have to sleep together or anything. Well, sleep together, but not have sex. It would be nice to have someone to hold.”
Drew frowned. “Annie, can I come inside for just a minute?”
“Sure.” She opened the door and walked in, flicking on the light. Once inside, she turned. “Did you mean what you said, Drew? That you love me?”
“We need to talk.”
“Oh, great. You tell me through a third party that you love me, scare me half to death thinking you’d been killed by your friend and then you give me the ‘let’s talk’ bit. Don’t you see anything even a
little contradictory about this?”
“I’m sorry.”
Annie felt as if she were about to shatter. Exhaustion combined with running the emotional gauntlet left her…fragile. Or maybe it was opening herself up, only to get the boot. Because that’s sure what it felt like.
“What are you sorry about, Drew?”
“I can’t be what you need me to be.” He ran his hand through his hair. She used to find this habit of his endearing. “You need someone who will make you feel safe. You said yourself you couldn’t handle a guy who took risks.”
Relief washed over her. She went to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “You took a risk tonight and it was scary. I’ll admit I don’t want to ever go through something like that again. But we got through it. When I had to leave you there, I realized how much I love you. I didn’t intend for it to happen, it just did. And you said you loved me.”
He made a noise low in his throat. “I do love you, Annie. I meant that I didn’t want to leave that unsaid if…something happened.”
“I know.”
“But I also realized something in that hospital tonight. I’m needed back in Iraq or wherever the soldiers are. I can’t stand on the sidelines. Being a chaplain is something I feel I’m called to do. And if I’m going to do it, I need to go where God sends me.”
Annie paced, trying to find some way she didn’t have to give him up. “Are you sure you aren’t just getting cold feet because you told me you loved me? You’re not even that religious.”
Hurt flashed in his eyes. He raised his chin. “In my own way, I have a strong faith. And with the proper training, I can give these guys the kind of counsel they need. It won’t be easy, but I know it’s what I have to do. I can’t turn my back on that.”
“But you’ll turn your back on us?” It felt as if the words were torn straight from her heart.
“Annie.” He touched her cheek. “We feel so right it amazes me, and I want so much for us to be a family. But I know you. I know the risks I’ll be taking would destroy you.”
Annie cast about for a solution that wouldn’t mean she’d lose him. “How can you be sure you’re not called to be a chaplain here in the States? There’s a need here, too. You saw that for yourself tonight.”
Welcome Home, Daddy Page 17
