Infinitely Human

by Candace Blevins

  “You’re inviting non-wolf spouses to more events though, right?”

  I nodded. “Yes, which means if we have forty or fifty wolves, we could have over a hundred people when spouses and children are present.”

  I eyed him a few seconds, debating how best to ask, and finally just blurted it out. “There’s a huge, house-sized boulder on our property, about a mile away. I can levitate it. I moved it twenty yards up a hill and then put it back where it started — but I don’t think I can move it the whole distance. Is there a trick? Also, is that how the pyramids were made?”

  “You stood beside it? Touching it?”

  I nodded.

  “You might find it easier to sit on top of it and levitate you and the boulder together. Actually, it might be easiest for you and Cora to sit on it, with whoever ends up being her Second. I believe you’ll find that the three of you can create the three-cubed effect Adonis and I taught you.”

  The ramifications of being able to do that floored me. Three people who are twenty-seven times stronger than the three of us combined should be.

  “Fuck.”

  Mordecai chuckled. “Indeed. Wait until Cora’s formed the Pack. Gather the members beside it, and at least two of the strongest wolves on the boulder with you. It can be a bonding experience, something only the charter members will have as a shared journey. New members who join later will hear about it, but it’ll be special to those who were a part of it, even if only to walk alongside.”

  “Randall says he believes we’ll be somewhat of a ruling couple, kind of like an Alpha wolf with a human spouse, except I’ll be able to share in the power. He isn’t sure how it’ll work. We’ll apparently be making up the rules as we go along.”

  “Not entirely. A few Alphas are married to a shifter of another species. Most often one of the powerful birds, but occasionally to another mammal. Their spouses can sense the magics and become part of the Pack in ways most humans can’t.”

  “Why wouldn’t Randall tell us about them?”

  He lifted his brows. “It’s frowned upon in North America, so no one will talk to you about it here. You’d need to travel to South America, Africa, northern Europe.” He sighed. “Or Russia. Or a few of the Stans.”

  “Why is it frowned upon here?”

  “The most powerful Alphas made the decision, back when the New World was still new. It stuck.”

  “Will Cora and I run against any rules specific to North America if we’re both able to help her wolves?”

  “Her wolves? They won’t be yours?”

  “If I say they’re hers, they’re hers.”

  “Just as if you say she’s just your friend and you don’t own her, it’s supposed to make it so?”

  Mordecai wasn’t going to let me skirt this one, but I probably needed to talk about it and sort through my feelings and thoughts. “Okay, so if I were to accept the notion she’s bound to me and I own her, it would mean I own anyone who belongs to her.”

  “Correct.”

  “But Cora’s her own person. The Pack will be hers, though I’ll help her with whatever she needs help with.”

  “And if the only way to save Lauren’s life meant taking control of the Pack?”

  “I can’t see that happening. Cora loves Lauren, too. I won’t have to pull the Pack away from her to protect Lauren, because Cora will do whatever I’d have done.”

  “So, you acknowledge you’ll probably be able to pull it from her?”

  “No. Not at all. I acknowledge there’s a small chance I might be able to in a life-or-death emergency, but I don’t believe it’s a given.”

  “Where are you and Nathan?”

  “He’s keeping his distance. We’re okay when we have to be in the same room, but it’s awkward.” I took another drink. Mordecai would sense my broken heart, but there was no need to let him see my eyes get all watery. I missed the arrogant cat, but he couldn’t be around me now that he knew what I was capable of. I alternated between pissed and sad, and at that moment, I was leaning towards sad.

  “We’ve talked. I understand he needs to distance himself from people capable of handing out the kind of torture I did. I’ve tried to explain why it seemed I grew in strength from Aquila’s screams, why I seemed to feed off them, but he doesn’t want to hear it.”

  Another chuckle. “Just about every supernatural on the planet is terrified at the thought of being tortured by Kendra. She’s the scariest of the scary, and you tried to explain away your ability to torture by telling him she tutored you in proper technique. Perhaps you should’ve found a better argument.”

  Maybe, but I’d told the truth, and I refused to feel bad about being honest.

  “How much of Abbott’s power comes from having Kendra and Gavin available to do his dirty work?”

  “He’d be powerful without them, but he’s more formidable with them. You felt the difference between him and Marco, so you know he isn’t leaning on them. His powers combined with his strength are hard to combat.”

  “But not impossible.”

  “No.”

  “And we don’t really know who’ll win if he goes against Rinaldo or Griffin.” I took another drink. “Or Killian. Or Manandán.”

  “Manandán would take Abbott out without a second thought. Killian is an unknown. I believe truce has been reached with Rinaldo. Events have transpired to keep Griffin busy defending his home territory. Most believe Abbot manufactured the problems, but no one can prove it.”

  “But the assumption gives Abbott more power. More credence.”

  “It does.”

  And now, to find out more about my legal standing in Faerie, should I decide to pop in.

  “Sophia kept me locked in a room with no exit when she took me to Faerie. What would’ve happened if she hadn’t?”

  “The land keeps track of promises and debts. It’s easy for humans to pile them one on top of another, a thank you here, an I promise there, and we won’t go into what happens if you say I swear.”

  “Is that the only reason? If I were super careful of what I said, and even maybe kept it to something scripted, to be safe, would there be another danger? I mean, could someone decide I’m a slave just because they can capture me?”

  “Most free humans in Faerie are married to a Fae, or used to be, and own enough land to give them a valid reason to stay when their spouse is killed. Or they are the parents of half-fae. Or…” He sighed. “Why do you want to go to Faerie?”

  “I know the areas around Chattanooga conform to the area around Hecate’s temple, and that our land here is included in the topography. I also know the mountain and gateway I made in China involved land conforming to the area around the mythical Jade Mountain, also known as Olympus. I feel like Faerie is going to come into play at some point, and I need to know the ramifications if I end up there — whether to scout or fight or something else.”

  “As long as no one installs a magic drain on you, you should be able to go through the nothingness to get out. There are exceptions. The Summer and Winter Queens have large portions of their castle spelled so no one can teleport in, and you won’t be able to step in or out. Other places in Faerie are similarly spelled. If you’re taken to one of those places, you’ll be stuck. All the jails and dungeons, most of the stocks.”

  “But, would they legally be able to grab me and toss me in their dungeon, just because I’m human?”

  “Yes, but either Aaron or Sophia can give you a permanent invitation, I believe. It’ll act much as the key from Adonis, so it’s part of your soul. Only someone who doesn’t mind pissing them off would dare try to enslave you.” He rubbed his chin. “You’re stalling.”

  I shook my head. “No. I have questions, and you seem to be in a mood to answer them.”

  “The mood is wearing thin.”

  I looked at my glass. One drink left. I downed it and stood. “I need to stop at the restroom, and I’ll meet you downstairs.”

  2

  Mordecai hadn’t stretched
my energy reserves in a long time. Theoretically, I probably didn’t need it anymore, but he’d insisted we do it tonight. Here.

  The ancient god always has his reasons, and I figured it was about anchoring me to our new land, or something along those lines. I trust him, so I didn’t ask too many questions.

  I took my boots off while I sat on the toilet, and walked them into the bedroom I’d use later. I stripped down to nothing, put flip-flops on because I’m a tenderfoot and there was construction shit all over, and made my way downstairs.

  Mordecai had wrist cuffs attached to chains hanging from the ceiling, and I walked to them and held my arms beside them. His strong, deft fingers made quick work of fastening the leather and steel around my wrists, and my heart raced in my chest.

  The steel jail-cell barred walls had been delivered and were flat on the ground to my right, waiting to be installed. The concrete floor didn’t need to be reinforced, but the ceiling did, and Mordecai was using a portion already strengthened. Not that a mere human could’ve hurt the normal ceiling, but I’d noticed several of the heavy hitters now treated me as they would a supernatural.

  “I don’t have superhuman strength. I couldn’t pull the ceiling down if you put me in a section that hadn’t been reinforced.”

  “We’ll visit that question later. For now, tell me why we’re here.”

  “Because being flogged and whipped first sets up endorphins so having my energy field stretched doesn’t hurt as much.” I shook my head. “No, it still hurts just as much, but I don’t entirely hate it.”

  “Try again.”

  “To anchor me to the new property.”

  “A nice side effect, but no.”

  I glared at him. “Because you want to test my energy field, to see where I am.”

  He lifted a brow. “Maybe I’m looking for an excuse to beat you and then have sex with you.”

  I shook my head. “You wouldn’t need an excuse, if that was your aim.”

  “Wouldn’t I?”

  My therapist brain kicked in and answered before I thought it through. “Not to me, but perhaps to yourself.”

  I don’t think he expected me to ring the right answer, but I could see from his expression, I had.

  “You want to, but don’t want to?”

  “It’s a bad idea.” His face clearly showed his conflict. “We truly do need to test your limits, I’m not bullshitting you about that, but I’ve had to come to terms with the fact I’ve been looking forward to this more than I should’ve.”

  “You said we can’t be an item. The power is too unbalanced. We could never be anything even approaching equals.”

  “And yet, I’ve been looking forward to it.”

  I stared at his feet. Mordecai is larger than life in every possible way — intelligence, size, power, abilities. I could never have the kind of relationship with him that I manage with Dawg. It could never just be sex, if we started indulging without needing to for teaching purposes. It was hard enough for me to try to keep it to that even knowing he was only doing it to train me.

  “I don’t think I could have sex with you on a regular basis and keep it casual, like I do with Dawg.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be.”

  He lifted a flogger, and I blurted, “You care about me, or just want to fuck me?”

  “Does it matter?”

  Yes, but probably not. Not really. It was never going to work. Mordecai was so fucking far out of my league. I’d been worried about Abbott being so much older and wiser, but Abbott’s a baby compared to the ancient god.

  “Probably not, but I think I’d still like to know.”

  “Kitten.”

  The one word said everything. He cared about me. Real feelings he wasn’t sure what to do with.

  I nodded. “Okay. You know how I feel about you. I mean, I’ve kept it all compartmentalized, but…” I shrugged. “Just beat me, already.”

  He laughed and swung the flogger. Hard.

  Fire blossomed across my breasts and I curved my shoulders in to try to manage the pain, but then met his gaze and pulled them back, offering myself for his flogger. His pain.

  A nod, and he struck four times in twice as many seconds, one after another with no respite.

  “Fuck.” It was more exclamation than word, though I said it soft, and in a deep voice.

  Everything was different. Mordecai usually restrained me with his thoughts or his energy, without anything physical. Now, I fought the leather and steel, and gasped and screamed. I kicked my legs. I twisted my body. Mordecai circled me, striking my back, ass, breasts, and both the front and back of my thighs. The stinging leather came again and again until I was crying and screaming, but I never begged him to stop.

  Fuck, but I’d needed this in the worst sort of way.

  This flogging lasted way longer than the ten or fifteen minutes he usually gives me before he starts torturing me with his energy — and his larger-than-life-cock.

  “Look. At. Me.”

  My insides turned to jelly and my eyelids flew open. My gaze met Mordecai’s, and I fell into him. I was his. I’d always been his. I closed my eyes, he growled, and I opened them again.

  “It’s too much.” Tears streamed down my face. I’d been crying because of the whip, now I was crying because my heart swelled until it pushed them out.

  “Then it’ll have to be too much.”

  Without touching me, Mordecai’s energy streamed into all seven of my chakras at once. I gasped and fought, but didn’t look away.

  I’d never been flogged while someone streamed energy into me before. I didn’t know what to pay attention to. It all hurt. Too much. A cascade of pain, layer upon layer, in every cell of my body.

  “Breathe.”

  It was an order, and my body obeyed. How long had it been since I’d stopped breathing? I tried to focus on my breath but I couldn’t. The flogger was relentless. Mordecai’s energy alternated burning like the fires of Hell, with being so cold I felt just as burned.

  The entire energy-expanding portion happened while I was bound and he flogged me. I thought I’d die.

  Aaron always said he could only do so much because there was a possibility my heart would give out, or another system would hit critical and cause some kind of cascading failure. I could’ve sworn I felt my body heading towards it, but Mordecai kept at it, and I trusted him not to kill me.

  The flogging was physical, the energy was both physical and metaphysical, but my body found ways to tell me it was hurting from having too much power pushed in way too fast. It wasn’t just like blowing a balloon up right to the instant before it pops, but like blowing a balloon up with alternating freezing and burning air. Electrically charged air, so the balloon vibrates and jerks uncontrollably.

  Gradually, everything faded and I hung in the cuffs, my legs barely holding a portion of my weight.

  “Why didn’t you step away? Nothing was stopping you. You could’ve left this reality. Those cuffs wouldn’t stop you.”

  My eyes opened halfway and I parsed his sentence. “Why would I do that? You’re helping me.”

  “I almost killed you.”

  “I trusted you not to.”

  “Fuck.”

  He put his arms around me, and the next thing I knew, we were in a pool, outside, with the sun shining over us. The water cooled the burnt parts of me, the sun heated the frozen parts. I relaxed in his arms.

  “Where are we?” It was hard to form words.

  “My home.”

  “Olympus?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t care that you’re human. We’ll figure this out.”

  “Because I nearly let you kill me?”

  “Because you trusted me. I thought you’d show me you couldn’t trust anyone so much, but…”

  He shook his head and a bottle appeared in his hands. “Let me wash your hair.”

  I looked around
. A waterfall filled the pool, a stream emptied it. I was certain it was man-made, or god-made, but it looked like something out of a movie. Clean and yet natural. No mud.

  “Do I get a say-so in this?”

  “You want me.”

  I closed my eyes. “There’s want, and then there’s practical.”

  “Fuck practical.”

  A short laugh escaped. “Okay, for a few hours, we’ll fuck practical, but I’m not agreeing to more than that. I need to be home when Cora returns. I’m supposed to turn her back to human, to make sure I can without Randall around.”

  I wasn’t sure I liked the look on his face.

  “I can’t move here. My daughter needs me, and I have friends. Responsibilities. Things I’ve promised.”

  The fast surge of adrenaline had let me argue, but I was suddenly exhausted all over again, so I shut up and let him take care of me.

  What can be said about the experience of having an ancient god bathe you, magically dry you, and then make sweet love to you, but… damn.

  Mordecai had never made love to me before. He’d fucked me while he hurt me, and it’d been heavenly, but this?

  His huge hands were still masterful, directing me and placing me where he wanted, but were gentle now. His mouth on mine was divine, and I actually fucking swooned. Reality swirled around us, so Mordecai was my only anchor. When he tired of the pool, he moved us to a tented area beside the water, with fans and a bed. It was my every fantasy come true — even the ones I’d never had.

  My insides were burned from the energy, and yet, when he gave me more, it was soothing. Gentle.

  He made me open my eyes and look at him when he entered me, and I was once again in danger of crying — neither happy nor sad tears, I was simply overwhelmed — so full of emotions, they had to come out somehow.

  His huge cock spread me while he soothed me, and I could only hold my mouth open and allow him to capture my gaze with his. He made us one. In and out. In and out. Slow. Strong. Smooth.

  And Mordecai knew the perfect angle to hit the spot inside me. Every time his cock rubbed over it, pressed past it, I flew higher. My mouth opened wider. My silent scream was louder.