Run Johnboy Run: The Glasgow Chronicles 2

by Todd, Ian

  “So, we’re back oan the manky toe-rag shift?”

  “Aye. JP is gonnae send doon the maw wae the big mooth fur three months next Friday. Wance she goes doon, that reporter, who The Big Man is bank rolling, by the way, is well and truly fucked. According tae Ralph Toner, the heid ae the Criminal Intelligence Department, the maws ae yer wee manky mob won’t dae a thing withoot the nod fae the Taylor bitch. Noo, as Ah’ve jist said, higher up ur trying tae come tae an arrangement wae The Big Man tae back aff, as well as tae dampen doon the thirst ae the bloodhounds fae The Echo. Yersel, Big Jim, Crisscross and Jobby need tae tie up the loose ends oan the ground at this end. We cannae hiv they wee manky mongrels upsetting the apple cart. Dae ye see where we’re coming fae?”

  “Loud and clear.”

  “So, get a haud ae them. Use that wee fat canary…whit’s his name?”

  “Alex Milne.”

  “Fat Alex, that’s him. If he wants a badge, whistle or a fucking pokey hat, make sure he gets aw that and mair, as long as we get whit we’re efter and oor end is sound.”

  “Is there overtime fur the boys?”

  “As long as they wee fuckers ur aff the streets by Friday at the latest, Ah’ll sign the chitty.”

  Chapter Forty Three

  Helen re-read the letter fur the third time. She wisnae expecting it, bit wis truly thankful tae hiv something in her haun that hid come fae hame. She’d awready intended tae write hame that day, so getting Isabelle’s letter wis a wee bonus. Although the news wisnae aw good, it made her feel better. Isabelle hid written tae tell her that everywan wis daeing fine and that the lassies wur taking turns tae make up Jimmy’s pieces fur him tae take tae his work. She said that Jimmy couldnae get time aff tae come and visit, bit he wis hoping tae manage tae get doon tae the court oan Friday. There hid been a letter come in fae The Corporation. Helen and Jimmy wur tae go doon and speak wae a Mr Anderson at two o’clock in the efternoon ae the same day she wis up before JP. Betty fae next door hid been in tae make sure the girls wur aw daeing fine while Jimmy wis oan his long distance runs. Betty said she and aw the lassies sent their love and wur looking forward tae seeing her back hame. Granny hid been roond and left ten bob tae make sure there wis enough food in the hoose. Isabelle hidnae mentioned Johnboy. He probably hisnae noticed Ah’m no there, Helen thought tae hersel. She felt better today. When she’d been led back tae the hall, efter seeing The Rat and the Governor oan Sunday, Helen hid thought that she wis aboot tae crack up. When Hairy Chops hid stood aside tae let her through the gate intae A-hall and she’d seen aw the rows ae cells oan each ae the four landings, she’d hesitated aboot taking another step forward. It hidnae been the rows ae cells running the length ae baith sides ae the galleries that hid goat tae her though, bit the racket that hid been coming fae them. She’d known that everywan wis locked doon fur the night, even though it wis only aboot hauf five. Wan ae the lassies hid been knocking hell oot ae her cell door wae whit sounded like the heel ae her shoe, screaming tae be let oot. Another wailing voice hid been howling fur her weans. A ghostly voice fae somewhere up oan the tap landing at the far end hid been sobbing that she wis innocent and shouldnae be there. She’d also made oot the words ae the Dusty Springfield song that the lassies hid made up, being sung oot ae tune fae two different ends ae the hall. Helen hid suddenly been gripped by panic and hid been aboot tae turn and run back the way she’d come when the steel-barred gate hid clanged shut and Mrs Twitch hid telt her tae get a move oan as she wanted tae get hame in time tae see ‘Big Night Oot’ oan the telly.

  Efter being led back intae her cell, Gina hid looked relieved tae see her.

  “Christ, Helen, Ah thought they’d slung ye in the digger when ye didnae reappear efter hauf an oor. Is everything okay?”

  “Ah hid a visitor.”

  “Oan a Sunday?”

  “Aye,” wis aw Helen hid said, climbing up oan tae the tap bunk wae Gina’s help.

  She hidnae said a word tae Gina until the tea and sticky bun hid been delivered oan a trolley aboot hauf eight that night.

  “Thanks fur getting us some mugs, Helen. Ah’ve awready asked aboot four times since Ah’ve been in here bit nobody wid listen,” Gina hid said, blowing the steam away fae the tap ae her mug and taking a sip.

  “Ye’re welcome.”

  “Wis it bad news, hen?” Gina hid whispered meekly, as if Helen hid jist been telt there hid been a death in the family.

  Before Helen hid been able tae answer, Gina hid broken in again.

  “Ah’m sorry, Helen. Ah’ve nae right tae ask ye that. It’s none ae ma business, Ah’m sorry. Ah promise Ah won’t dae that again.”

  “Gina, Gina, Ah’m sorry. Listen, hen, ye kin ask me anything, anytime. Don’t ever apologise tae me again, especially seeing as ye hivnae done anything. Ah appreciate yer concern.”

  “It’s jist that when they took ye away and ye didnae reappear, Ah thought they’d slung ye in the dungeons…the same as they did wae Wee Morag.”

  Helen hid haunded her mug doon tae Gina before drapping aff the bunk and sitting at the bottom ae Gina’s bed. Gina hid stretched oot and listened, as Helen telt her whit hid happened. She’d telt Gina aboot whit The Rat hid came oot wae and then the pantomime wae Maggie Steel Drawers in her fancy office. Gina hid seemed impressed oan baith accounts.

  “Ye’ll be awright as long as he isnae hauf-cut,” Gina hid advised reassuringly.

  “Imagine, a jakey fur a brief? Ah’ve heard ae everything noo,” Helen hid laughed bitterly.

  “Ur ye gonnae accept him then?”

  “Ah don’t think Ah’ve any choice. Ah’m getting set up big-style here by that wee smug basturt, JP Donnelly. Wait until Ah tell aw the lassies aboot his autograph oan Big Pat’s arse when Ah get hame. His life will no be bloody worth living efter this. Ah’ll wait and see whit the jakey looks and sounds like before Ah make up ma mind. Ah think he’s coming up tae see me oan Tuesday or Wednesday. That should be fun,” Helen hid said drily.

  “If he’s steaming, they won’t let him through the front gate. Wan ae the lassies hid a visit aw planned bit when her man turned up smelling ae drink, he wis turned away. He’d travelled aw the way fae Baillieston.”

  “Ah’m no too sure whit the score is wae lawyers. Every time Ah’ve seen a judge, he’s always looked as if he’s pished.”

  “Ur ye okay if Ah tell the lasses aboot whit Maggie Tin Drawers said tae ye and whit ye said back?”

  “Aye, tell whoever ye want. She didnae scare me wan bit,” Helen lied. “Ah still widnae trust her as far as Ah could throw her though. Her eyes reminded me ae a snake that Ah wance saw oot at Glesga Zoo. Ah’ve only jist remembered where Ah’d seen that face before. Ah wis oan wan side ae the glass and it wis oan the other. When it eyeballed me, Ah felt that arse ae mine gieing a wee shudder. Ah goat the same feeling being eyeballed by that cow up there in her ivory tower, so Ah did.”

  “Kin Ah hiv a letter, please?” Helen asked Twitchy when she passed her, staunin at her wan-man-station at the tap ae the stairs, leading oan tae the landing.

  “A letter? Whit ur ye wanting a letter fur?”

  Helen wanted tae tell her tae hurry up and get oan wae it.

  “According tae the rule book, Ah’m entitled tae wan letter a week. As this is ma first, and hopefully, only week in here, Ah thought Ah’d hiv a wee go at this writing lark, if ye know whit Ah mean?” Helen replied sarcastically.

  Twitchy opened the lid ae her wan man station box, took a quick peek inside and then slammed it shut.

  “Ah don’t hiv any,” she twitched smugly.

  “Nae problem, Ah’ll pick wan up when Ah come back up the stair efter ma breakfast,” Helen smiled, wanting tae boot her in her fanny.

  “Ah’ll collect mine at the same time as her,” Gina said, wae an even bigger smile, as she followed Helen doon the stairs tae the noise ae the breakfast queue at the bottom.

  “Helen’s writing a letter fur me,” Gina announced tae the nation.

  “Real
ly?”

  “Is that right, Helen?”

  “Ah said Ah’d help Gina oot.”

  “So, who ur ye writing tae, Gina?”

  “Ma daughter, Meg.”

  “Aw, is that no nice? She’ll be chuffed as punch wae that, Gina, hen,” Big Pat said, smiling.

  “Aye, Helen said she’d write doon whit Ah want tae say, bit it’ll be aw ma ain words. It’s jist that Helen will be able tae put it doon oan paper fur me.”

  Helen and Gina hid jist haunded o’er their unsealed letters tae Twitchy, oan their way oot tae the exercise yard when Helen wis approached by a good looking tall blonde lassie.

  “Er, excuse me…Helen?”

  “Aye, that’s me, hen. Dae Ah know ye?”

  “Naw, no really.”

  “So, whit kin Ah dae ye fur?”

  “Ah don’t want tae sound cheeky, bit Ah wis wondering if ye could, er, dae me a big favour?”

  “Well, if Ah kin, Ah will.”

  “Ah wis wondering if there wid be any chance ae ye writing ma man a letter fur me?”

  “Yer man? Me?”

  “Aye, and if ye could put in a wee word tae ma two wee weans as well, Ah’d be furever in yer debt.”

  Helen hesitated. She looked tae see where Gina hid disappeared tae and saw her sitting doon wae the lassies oan the same spot as before, in the middle ae the circle ae wummin who wur gaun roond in circles.

  “Ah don’t know if Ah’ve goat the time, hen. Ah only get oot intae the fresh air twice a day, fur hauf an hour,” Helen mumbled, embarrassed.

  “Look, ma man’s name is Tommy and ma weans ur called Sammy and Susan. He’s four and Susan is six. If ye kin jist make it up and say that Ah miss them and Ah hope tae see them aw soon…please?”

  “Er, Ah don’t know, Ah’m...”

  “Ah’ve been in here a month noo and Ah hivnae seen or heard fae them. Ye wid be daeing me a helluva favour, if ye could find it within yersel tae help me oot,” the blonde lassie said, eyes starting tae fill wae tears.

  “Look, Ah’ll tell ye whit, hen. When we go back inside, see if ye kin get a letter and put it alang tae ma cell. Dae ye know where Ah am?”

  “Aye, Ah dae. Number twenty wan. Thanks, Ah’ll never furget yer kindness,” she said, walking away.

  “Er, whit’s yer name, hen?” Helen shouted efter her.

  The big blonde turned and smiled.

  “It’s Jeannette, bit don’t worry, Ah know how tae write ma ain name.”

  And that’s how it started.

  Helen explained tae the lassies whit hid happened when she sat doon. Every time the big blonde wan went full circle wae her two mates in the yard, she gied Helen a wee shy smile.

  “It disnae surprise me. Probably hauf the wummin in here cannae write,” Big Pat said. “And why did ye no own up before noo, Gina? It’s no as if ye urnae in amongst friends.”

  “It’s probably the same wae coonting. It wid surprise ye the amount ae people who used tae come intae the carpet shoap and jist haud oot their haun when they paid fur a carpet or who’d come o’er and ask ye whit the price ae a square yard wis, even though there wid be a big green star wae the price stuck oan the roll ae carpet in front ae their faces,” Sally said.

  “Somehow, Ah don’t think so, Sally. Ah kin understaun writing being a problem, bit everywan kin coont,” Wee Morag challenged wae a raised eyebrow.

  “No where Ah come fae, they cannae,” Betty interrupted. “Baith ma maw and da couldnae add up mair than two and two. They used tae jist get me tae dae it fur them. It caused a lot ae hassle when Ah goat married and moved up tae Possil, so it did.”

  “Is there no anything we kin dae aboot it then?” Helen asked oot loud.

  “Like whit?

  “Like speak tae Maggie Tin Drawers, the Assistant Governor?”

  “Aye, right, that’ll solve lots ae things then.”

  “Right, own up and be honest noo. Which wans ae us kin write then?” Pat asked everywan.

  Nowan moved.

  “C’mone, don’t be shy. Ah’m no asking who’s still a virgin.”

  “That’ll be me then,” Wee Morag quipped, blushing.

  “Aye, well, Morag, hen… ye kin rest assured, ye’re no missing much, if ma experience is anything tae go by,” Big Pat retorted, causing the wummin tae burst oot laughing, as Helen raised her haun, followed by Big Pat, Betty, Sally and Jean.

  “Jean, dae Ah no detect a few inches ae sudden growth appearing oan the end ae that nose ae yers?”

  “Whit? Ma nose?” Jean asked, touching the tip ae her snout.

  “Aye, ye telt us the other day there that ye couldnae write when we wur writing Helen’s song.”

  “Oh aye, bit Ah kin coont, so Ah kin. That must coont fur something surely?” Jean asked, drapping her haun oan tae her lap.

  “So, who’ve we goat then? Helen, masel, Patsy, Betty and Sally,” Big Pat said, coonting the writers oan her fingers.

  “Ah kin write a wee bit, though ma spelling’s aw tae pot,” Wee Morag chipped in supportively tae Jean, Patsy and Gina.

  “So, who amongst us hivnae sent a letter hame then, apart fae Gina here, who’s rectifying that noo, wae Helen’s help?” Pat persisted, taking command. “Ah thought so. Right, Ah’ll get yer details before we get locked up, Jean. Sally, you get Patsy’s. The two ae ye get a letter aff Mrs Twitchy Twat as soon as we go in.”

  By Tuesday, Helen wis sitting wae the details ae seven lassies she didnae know. Big Pat hid five, Betty three, Sally four and Wee Morag wan. Word hid goat oot and the screws wur well pissed aff wae the turn ae events.

  “No another eejit who cannae bloody write. How dae ye know they’re no sending yer man a love letter, eh? Hiv ye thought ae that wan, Hilary?” Hairy Chops shouted oot in front ae everywan oan the landing, jist before lock up.

  “If they dae, he’ll be chuffed as punch. It wis his seventieth birthday last week,” Auld Hilary, who wis in fur persistently refusing tae pay her ootstauning arrears tae The Corporation retorted, swiping her letter aff the grudging haun before scurrying aff in the direction ae Betty’s cell, before being locked up fur the night.

  Chapter Forty Four

  The Rat wis fair chuffed wae himsel, taking aw the circumstances intae consideration. First thing that morning, he’d heided straight doon tae Paddy’s Market. The place hid been buzzing wae people, buying and selling shite that the city dump widnae even take fur free. It hidnae taken him long tae spot exactly whit he wis efter and then his mind hid gone blank. The stall holder hid looked at him.

  “A nice suit then, sir?”

  “It’s no fur me, it’s fur somewan else.”

  “Size?”

  That’s whit hid stumped him. He couldnae remember if Harry Portoy wis eight feet two or three feet nothing. Fuck, he’d thought tae himsel…he wis sure Harry wis aboot five feet five. He’d tried tae remember Harry’s height fae when he’d chucked him intae the back ae the Morris Traveller o’er oan the Ladywell a few days earlier. Aye, five feet five and full ae bones, he reckoned. It wis then that he’d spotted Charlie Chatter, the biggest grass that side ae The Clyde, who’d been strolling towards him as if hauf the toon wisnae efter him fur being responsible fur the overcrowding up in the Bar-L.

  “Charlie, how ur ye daeing?” he’d asked, feeling a wee bit guilty when he saw Charlie jist aboot tae jump oot ae his broon brogues wae fright.

  “Fuck’s sake, Sammy. Ah thought some basturt hid spotted me.”

  “They did. Whit ur ye up tae?”

  “Ach, Ah’m jist oot hivving a break fae the High Court roond the corner. There’s a recess oan. Something tae dae wae ma reliance as a witness, Ah think Ah heard the defence saying.”

  “Whit? They’re no accusing ye ae lying, ur they?”

  “Kin ye believe that?” the lying basturt hid said, wae a hurt expression oan that ugly kisser ae his.

  “Ach, Ah’m sure they’ll wise up and spit oot their guilt before ye hiv tae go back in. In fact, Ah bet they’re trying t
ae plea bargain as we speak.”

  “Dae ye think so, Sammy?” Fork Tongue hid exclaimed happily, brightening up.

  “Ach, fur Christ’s sake, of course Ah dae.”

  “So, whit brings a man ae yer style and charm doon here?” Charlie hid asked him, looking o’er at the desperate, scowling salesman, who wis struggling tae hide the look ae disappointment oan that mug ae his, due tae the interference ae the High Court’s resident informer.

  “Ach, jist killing time.”

  “Oh, aye?” The Chatter hid asked, lowering that baw-heid ae his in a conspiring whisper.

  “Ah’m no oan a story, Charlie. Ah wis killing time before heiding roond tae the High Court tae see whit’s gaun oan.”

  “Ah widnae bother if Ah wis you. Ma trial ae wan ae they younger McGregors, in the North Court, his ground tae a halt and the other wan in the South is jist some eejit who stabbed his wife five times efter he’d strangled her. He claimed he thought she wis still alive when he nipped next door tae a neighbours tae borrow a boner knife.”

  “See, ye’ve put me aff noo. That’s me goosed fur the day then.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Ach, never mind, Charlie, Ah’ll maybe jist heid up tae the Sheriff Court alang in Ingram Street and see whit’s happening up there, eh? By the way, Ah saw an auld pal ae yers the other day there.”

  “Oh, aye?”

  “Aye, that brief, whit’s his name? The wan that hit the booze?”

  “Portoy? Harry Portoy? Aye, he’s well fucked. Ah see him every noo and again. Sleekit basturt, that wan. Best thing that ever happened.”

  “Whit wis?”

  “Him hitting the skids face first. Tied me up in knots mair than a few times, the basturt. Ah wis jist aboot tae be sent doon oan a perjury charge when his client pled guilty tae get his wife aff. Ah could feel the shite touching cloth that day, Ah kin tell ye. Ah don’t usually tell anywan this, bit wan night Ah clocked him rolling aboot in the pish wae wan ae his jakey pals, doon oan the Broomielaw. Ah jist couldnae help masel, given aw the shite he’d put me through. Ah hid a quick shifty aboot and then gied him a swift wee kick in the auld ging gang-goolies. He wisnae so fucking full ae himsel that night, Ah kin tell ye,” The Chatter hid said, relishing his tale.