Going on Red

by Lyn Gardner

  Brodie moved until she was almost right on top of Kate. She looked her in the eye, and when Brodie saw defiance staring back at her, a ghost of a grin appeared on Brodie’s face. Sliding her hand between Kate’s thighs again, Brodie pushed one finger inside where it remained motionless.

  “Damn it, Brodie,” Kate whimpered. “Stop playing these games.”

  “Say it, Kate. I want to hear the words.”

  Kate grunted in frustration as she tried to move against Brodie’s finger, and each time she tried, Brodie followed her lead, keeping her finger firm, deep, and still. “Damn you, Brodie.”

  “Just say the words, Kate. Tell me what you want.”

  Over the past months, they had made love dozens of times, yet Kate never truly had to request what Brodie always gave so willingly. On occasion, she’d utter words of encouragement, but when it came to giving instructions or rather direction, that wasn’t something Kate had in her vocabulary, or so she thought. Although Kate never believed herself capable of vocalizing her needs, Brodie had driven her to a point where Kate had no choice. “Make love to me, Brodie. Is that what you want to hear?” Kate blurted. “Then fine, make love to me.”

  Brodie snorted out a laugh. “This isn’t about love tonight, and you know it,” she snarled, extracting her finger. “Now, tell me what you want me to do, Kathryn, or you can do it yourself.”

  Kate’s face was flushed, and her body was on fire, and grabbing Brodie’s wrist, she squeezed it as tightly as she could as she jammed it between their bodies again. “Fuck me. Is that what you want to hear me say? Well, I’m saying it, Brodie. Now…fuck me.”

  A rumbling growl rose in Brodie’s throat, and before Kate knew what was happening, Brodie had lifted her leg to rest on her hip. A moment later, Brodie’s finger plunged into Kate again, and this time, there wasn’t anything leisurely about Brodie’s tempo.

  “Yes,” Kate said in a breath. “Oh…yes.”

  Brodie pressed into Kate again and again. Deliciously tight and warm and wet, she effortlessly sank her finger to the hilt with each stroke before tending to Kate’s clit, continually repeating the pattern as Kate's breathing turned ragged.

  Kate was caught in a riptide, and with each stroke, Brodie was taking her farther out to sea. Away from sensibilities, away from decorum, away from rights, and away from wrongs, Kate was being pulled to a place lewd and unchaste. A place where bodily urges reign supreme, where the most salacious thoughts are welcomed, and the most primitive of needs are met, and Kate couldn’t fight the current any longer. She knew what she wanted. She knew what she needed, and this time Brodie wouldn’t have to force the words from her lips.

  “Brodie,” Kate said, sucking in air as she stilled Brodie’s hand. “I want your mouth on me. Go down on me, Brodie. Please…go down on me.”

  Erogenous zones are areas, which if given the proper attention, can produce sensations stimulating one to do the unthinkable, say the unimaginable, and cause desire to flow thick from bodies. Much to Kate’s chagrin, Brodie had discovered many over the past few months. She knew that the back of Kate’s neck, if tenderly kissed and tasted, would make Kate purr in delight. A nipple nibbled and sucked, would cause Kate to gyrate in anticipation of what she craved, and a kiss, deep and seeming to go on forever, would dampen Kate’s knickers every single time. The list seemed endless, and for the most part, somewhat identical. Brodie enjoyed having her nipples tweaked and tasted, and kisses filled with wetness and tongues could make her squirm as well, but when Kate’s request caused an animalistic growl to rumble in Brodie’s throat, Kate knew she had just found another of Brodie’s erogenous zones. Words.

  Brodie froze. Lowering her chin, she closed her eyes for a long moment, and when she opened them again, her stare was bold and possessive. Locking eyes with Kate, Brodie licked her lips. Sweat was beading on her forehead and dripping down her back, and without giving it a thought, Brodie tore off her blouse, tossed it aside, and then fell to her knees. “Come here,” she said, grabbing Kate’s bottom.

  Kate did as she’d been ordered, and draping her leg over Brodie’s shoulder, she arched her hips. In an instant, she was once again prisoner to Brodie’s mouth, held an obedient captive by each lick, each probe, and each lash. Kate could feel the orgasm building inside of her. There wasn’t a nerve in her body that wasn’t on fire, and as shuddering sensations fanned out from her core, she grabbed Brodie by the hair and pressed herself into Brodie’s awaiting mouth.

  Kate tensed for a split-second before the sound of her release, uninhibited and feral, filled the room. The spasms deep within all but crippled her, and raspy cries fell from her lips as she shuddered again and again…and again.

  Brodie rested back on her haunches, watching as Kate became lost in a crescendo that seemed endless, and when Kate slowly began to slide down the wall, Brodie gently guided her to the floor. Kate’s chest was heaving, and her skin was gleaming with sweat, both of which were adding more than a little discomfort to Brodie’s situation. She had already orgasmed once, a few words pushing her over the edge minutes earlier, and Brodie knew she was close to doing it again. Brodie was also still angry.

  Kate slowly opened her eyes. Her first thought was to smile, except when she saw Brodie’s hardened expression, Kate’s smile ended before it began. “What’s wrong?”

  “How does it feel to be someone’s puppet?”

  “What?”

  “In the club, you were pulling my strings, and I went along, not wanting to cause a scene,” Brodie said, her tone eerily flat. “And this, what we just had, was me pulling yours. I wanted you to know how it felt.”

  “I’m not sure I under—”

  “Yes, you do,” Brodie said through a knowing sneer. “You know exactly what I mean because a short time ago you were livid. You were enraged that I wouldn’t give you what you wanted…and that’s exactly how I felt earlier tonight sitting in that club watching you on the dance floor. I felt helpless, like a puppet dangling from strings, and you were controlling every last one of them. And it hurt, Kate. It bloody hurt.”

  “I’m sorry,” Kate said, her voice sinking to a whisper.

  “I don’t want your apologies. I want you to promise me that after tonight, there will be no more strings and no more puppets in our relationship. If you need a bit more time to acknowledge us in public, then I will do my best to honor that, but don’t you ever—ever—treat me like that again.”

  Kate took a deep, shaky breath. “I promise. No more puppets. No more strings.”

  “Good, and I’ll promise the same in the morning,” Brodie said, and getting to her feet, she took off her bra and tossed it aside. “But tonight isn’t over, Kate. Not by a long shot.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Five weeks later, Brodie sat at the drafting table in her office, staring off into space. After the heated argument that had ended with both of them naked on the kitchen floor, Brodie thought things would change. She had voiced her concerns that night and again the next morning over coffee and toast, and Brodie honestly thought Kate was listening. She honestly thought Kate would start taking baby steps toward acknowledging their relationship, but she hadn’t. Instead, Kate continued the charade.

  Each day she went to work single and straight, and each night Kate returned to Brodie anything but. Each time Brodie brought up the subject, Kate would use her mother’s rejection as ammunition to end it, and Brodie would. It wasn’t long before Brodie realized arguing wasn’t helping the situation, so she stopped. She decided making love was better than making war, and when they ventured out to a restaurant, Brodie made sure it was dark and secluded where sensual stares would go unnoticed. Walks in the park were done as friends, lightly bantering as they traveled down garden paths or watched children playing on the swings, yet behind the locked doors of their homes, they were lovers, and their love was insatiable.

  Brodie blew out a breath, shaking her head at the exhaustion that now seemed to be her norm.

  “Is it me
, or are you plummeting?” Stevie said, sailing into Brodie’s office.

  “What?” Brodie said, turning around.

  “You don’t look like you’re on cloud twelve anymore.”

  “Don’t you mean cloud nine?”

  “Oh, sweetie, you passed nine months ago,” Stevie said, placing a cup of coffee on the table. “This is fresh. Thought you’d like a cup.”

  “Thanks,” Brodie said, and picking up the coffee, she took a sip.

  Stevie covertly sized Brodie up and then down. “Okay, so maybe this isn’t my place, but that’s never stopped me before, so why should it now. What’s going on? You look like the weight of the world is on your back. Too much work?”

  “No such thing,” Brodie said, swiveling the chair around. She took another taste of her coffee, and as she put down the cup, she looked over at Stevie. “Have you ever dated someone not yet out?”

  “Oh, Lordy,” Stevie said with a wave of his hand before flopping into a chair and throwing one leg over the other. “Back before I found my own fashion sense, I dated quite a few. Why?”

  “How long did it take before they came out…if they came out?”

  “A couple of them did, and I don’t remember it taking that long actually. I think once you get a taste of what you really want or who you really are, it’s damn hard to keep that secret. And again—why?”

  “Kate…Kate doesn’t appear to be in any rush to do it, and I feel like a total prat. I mean, I know she’s uncomfortable with the whole coming out part, but I’m not asking her to put placards on the damn lawn for Christ’s sake,” Brodie said, rocking back in her chair. “And then the more I think about it, the more I think I’m the one being selfish. I told her I’d be patient, and I’m trying, I’m really trying, but it’s running thin, Stevie, and I don’t know what to do. Dwelling on the subject makes me look like I don’t care about what she needs, but we’ve been together for nearly three months, and nothing—nothing—has changed other than me. Kate knew who I was and how I lived my life before we ever got together, and it’s like she expects me to change for her instead of meeting somewhere in the middle. Taking small steps toward…toward living a normal life is all I want, but she refuses to do it.”

  “Refuses?”

  Brodie bit off a laugh. “There’s a laundry list of excuses or reasons or whatever you want to call them. Christ, I can’t even keep clothes in her wardrobe.”

  “What?”

  “Sometimes I spend the night at her place, and sometimes she’s at mine, but other than a damn toothbrush, whatever I’m wearing goes home with me. Heaven forbid I leave something behind.”

  “So, moving in together apparently is off the table.”

  “It’s under the table and the rug…and the bloody floorboards,” Brodie said, throwing up her hands. “Stevie, I love my place, and Kate’s house is rather small, but I told her I was willing to lease my condo so we could live together. You would have thought I was asking to have a three-way in the middle of Trafalgar Square, for Christ’s sake. She said she likes things the way they are, and she doesn’t have enough closet space, yadda, yadda, yadda, and again, I feel like an insensitive cow if I try to argue, so I don’t. I just keep waiting and hoping and praying, and it’s wearing me out.”

  Stevie’s ordinarily pristine posture slumped like Brodie’s. “I wish I had some words of wisdom for you.”

  “Actually, I think just talking about it helps,” Brodie said, sitting straight. “Since she’s Devon’s sister and Gina’s best friend, I didn’t want to bring it up to them. It just didn’t seem like the right thing to do, so I’ve been holding it all in.”

  “And by the way you looked when I walked in a few minutes ago, it’s still gnawing at you.”

  “Yeah,” Brodie said with a huff. “I love her to death, Stevie. I really do, and I keep telling myself I’d do anything for Kate, but that’s a lie because I can’t keep doing this.”

  “She shouldn’t expect you to.”

  “Tell her that.”

  The chime of Brodie’s mobile interrupted their conversation, and snagging it off Brodie’s desk, Stevie glanced at the display as he handed it to Brodie. “Speak of the devil,” he said, popping up from his chair.

  Brodie waited until Stevie left the room before taking the call. “Hey there,” she said, her smile as automatic as breathing. “This is a surprise.”

  “Hi Brodie,” Kate said, raising her voice enough to be heard over the street traffic.

  Brodie moved the phone a little away from her ear. “Where are you?”

  “Oh, um…I’m outside the station. I just wanted to call and give you some news.”

  “Yeah? What’s going on?”

  “There’s an opening for a DCI, and it seems yours truly is in the running for the job.”

  “What?” Brodie said, jumping off the chair. “Kate, that’s great!”

  “Thanks.”

  “We need to celebrate.”

  “It’s a bit too early for that, I think.”

  “Okay,” Brodie said, pausing for a second. “Then at least let me take you out to dinner tonight.”

  “I would, except you forgot, I’ve got to make an appearance in court this afternoon, and once that’s over, I’ll have to come back to the station and wrap up the paperwork. I honestly don’t know when I’ll get out of here.”

  “Damn, you’re right. I did forget,” Brodie said, sitting down.

  “Can I have a rain check?”

  “You can have anything you want.” Brodie grinned when she heard Kate’s sexy chortle come over the line. “So, I guess I’m not going to be seeing you tonight—eh?”

  “Probably not, but if things change, I’ll call you. Okay?”

  “All right.”

  “I’d best be going back in now,” Kate said, glancing at her watch. “I just wanted to give you the news.”

  “And it’s awesome news, Kate. I couldn’t be prouder.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I love you, darling.”

  Kate looked at the people milling about before answering. “I love you, too, Brodie. Talk to you later.”

  After slipping her phone back into her pocket, Kate let out a long breath as she pushed aside the feelings of guilt. As soon as she had arrived at the station that morning, Kate had been told about the possible promotion, but it wasn’t until she could escape the confines of the building to stand amidst the noise of the busy street that Kate dared to give Brodie the news. The plan Kate had so carefully mapped out for herself had taken a detour when Brodie came into her life, but now it was getting back on track. With her pristine work record and her file filled with commendations, Kate knew that even though she was younger than most clambering for the position, if she kept her nose to the grindstone, the job could be hers. All she had to do was dot every I, cross every T, and keep Brodie in the background.

  Kate knew in her heart what she was doing was wrong, but she wasn’t ready to risk losing this chance. Her private life had always been private. She had never flaunted the men she dated or adorned her desk with a photograph of someone tall, dark, and handsome, and Kate saw no need to change now, especially now.

  As Kate made her way back into the station, she thought about the framed photograph of Brodie that was wrapped in tissue paper in the bottom drawer of her desk. It had been there for weeks, or was it months? She saw it every time she put her handbag away, and every time she lifted it out, the crinkled white paper would stare up at her waiting to be unwrapped, and that’s where it would remain. Kate had already lost her mother’s love because of her feelings for Brodie. She wasn’t about to lose anything else…least of all, her career.

  ***

  Kate juggled a stack of manila file folders as she walked down the stairs toward her office, and when she heard her stomach growl, she glanced at the clock on the wall. Seeing that it was indeed lunchtime, Kate quickened her pace, and rounding the corner, she planned to rid herself of the files, grab her handbag, and go get s
omething to eat. Her plans changed in an instant when she saw Brodie leaning against her desk, and Kate stuttered to a stop. She took a few seconds to regroup, and adjusting the files in her arms, Kate strode over and dropped them on the desk. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m here to see you, of course,” Brodie said as she went to give Kate a kiss on the cheek.

  Kate took a quick step backward and scowled. “What the hell do you think you’re doing,” she said in a rushed whisper.

  Brodie’s face fell, and she glanced around to see if she was breaking any rules. Several people were roaming about, and none of them seemed to be paying her any attention, so her focus returned to Kate. “I thought I’d surprise you and take you to lunch…to celebrate.”

  “I told you on the phone it was too early for that.”

  “Um…okay,” Brodie said quietly. “But I can still take you to lunch.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  Brodie drew in another long, deep breath. Kate’s tone was curt, and her scowl had yet to waver. If anything, it had become even more venomous. “Kate, what’s wrong with you?”

  “You shouldn’t be here.”

  “Why?” Brodie said, looking around. “Nobody seems to care.”

  “I care, and I want you to go.”

  “Not until you tell me what this is all about,” Brodie said softly. “Why are you so angry with me?”

  “Brodie, I have things to do, and I am not prepared to stand here and discuss this. Now, please go, and we will talk about it later.”

  “Kate—”

  “Brodie,” Kate said through clenched teeth. “I asked you to leave. Now do it.”

  ***

  Brodie left the station with her head bowed, and her heart broken. Her chat with Stevie had raised her spirits, and Kate had just shattered them like a china plate thrown against a wall. She no longer had the strength to glue all the pieces back together again, and with each step she took, the shards of Brodie’s compassion, patience, and hope were crushed under her feet. She climbed into her car, and running on autopilot, she headed back to her office.