by Donna Alward
It was a far cry from making out, but there was something about it just the same, something that reached in and confirmed something he’d suspected all along: Maddy Wallace was different.
She was worth it.
As the credits started rolling, he looked over at her. She looked back, and they gazed at each other for several long moments as the crowd began to filter out. It wasn’t until another couple said, “Excuse me,” edging past them to the end of the row, that they broke eye contact and hurried to stand up and let the people pass. The moment gone, they put on their coats and gloves and prepared to make their way out into the cold again.
“Did you want to do something else?” he asked as they made their way outside.
“I should probably get home. I don’t leave the boys with someone new very often.”
“Did Fletch call or text?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Then let’s go get a coffee. Or hot chocolate or something. It’s early. It’s only nine thirty.”
“Okay.”
Once more he opened her door, closed it, got in and started the truck. But there was a different feeling than he’d had before. Bigger, scarier, amazing. After all this time, he figured he’d better face the truth. He’d done a lot of soul-searching after talking to his brother, and the conclusion he’d reached was that it was possible he was falling in love. With the most complicated woman in Gibson. Wasn’t that just a kick in the pants?
Falling in love. That was so not what he’d intended when he’d started all this. It scared the hell out of him and felt amazing and exciting all at the same time.
Before leaving the parking lot, he slid across the seat and cupped her face in his hands. “I’ve been waiting over two hours to do this,” he murmured, and then he kissed her.
Despite her misgivings about being in public, Maddy didn’t hold back much. He kept the kiss decent, of course, and kept his hands where they should be in public. But that didn’t mean there wasn’t a wealth of passion and longing in that one kiss. “You sure you want to go for coffee?” he asked breathlessly. “We could go parking like a couple of teenagers.”
She laughed against his mouth. “Coffee,” she said, kissing the corner of his mouth. “All we’d need is to get caught by some cop making out in your truck.”
“Damn,” he muttered. But he grinned, anyway.
He drove them to a little coffee shop near the highway and they ordered peppermint hot chocolates instead of something loaded with caffeine. Maddy took a sip and licked whipped cream off her upper lip. “Cole, do you suppose we’re getting old, worrying about drinking caffeine at night?” Her smile was impish and anything but old.
“Naw. We’re wise. Besides, we both have to get up early in the morning.”
She nodded. “Yeah. Responsibilities.”
He reached across the table and took her hand. “Do you ever wish you were eighteen again, with everything before you?”
Maddy lifted her cup, took another drink and paused before answering. “Sometimes I miss having the freedom to just pick up and go somewhere, you know? But honestly? Despite everything, I wouldn’t trade those two boys for any do-overs.”
He smiled. “I know. They’re pretty special.”
“It doesn’t scare you, that I have kids?”
Cole met her gaze. “Scare me? No. Make me be careful? Oh, yes. Dating a single mom is serious business.”
He took a drink of his cocoa, rich chocolate and bright peppermint. Maddy laughed and wiped his lip with a napkin. “So in your estimation, we’re dating?” she asked.
Why did that particular question make his stomach knot up with nerves, as if he was seventeen again? “Aren’t we? Let’s see. We’ve had coffee—twice now—and we’ve taken a wagon ride in the snow. Then there’s dinner, and Christmas tree decorating, and a movie. In the space of about three weeks. What would you call it?”
Her cheeks pinkened. “Dating.”
“Maddy,” he said quietly, understanding all too well where she was coming from. “I know you want to keep things low-key in Gibson. But eventually people are going to figure it out.”
“I know. I know,” she repeated meaningfully. “Just not yet, okay?”
“Okay.”
“That’s it?”
He shrugged. “Sure.” Then he smiled. “For now, anyway.”
They finished their cocoa and it was ten thirty by the time they hit the road for Gibson. When they got home, the porch light was on and so were the Christmas lights, but the house seemed quiet. They found Fletch in the living room, watching something on TV. Every toy was picked up and put away and she didn’t see any dirty dishes, either. Definite bonus points for the sitter.
“Hi,” she said quietly. “Any troubles?”
Fletch turned off the TV and stretched. “Well, eight was more like eight thirty by the time I got them to settle down, but nothing since then. They really like playing with that farm, don’t they?”
Maddy nodded. “Thanks, Will.”
“I’ll give you a ride home,” Cole said, nodding. “Here’s the keys. I’ll be right out.”
Fletch gave him a knowing smile but hastened to put on his coat and shoes. “’Bye, Ms. Wallace. Anytime you need a sitter, let me know.”
“Thanks, Will, I’ll do that.”
Fletch slid outside and the lights of the truck lit up the driveway as he turned on the engine.
“So,” Cole said, wishing he had all night, but knowing that it was probably better that he had to drive Fletch home. “I guess this is where we say good-night.”
“I had a really good time,” she said quietly, turning her soft eyes up at him.
“Me, too.”
The kiss this time seemed as natural as snowflakes falling to the ground. Their lips met easily, with a growing familiarity.
“I’ll see you on Sunday, then?” he asked, wishing he could find an excuse to see her tomorrow but realizing she had to work.
“Sunday. Why don’t I bring lunch over for you and Tanner?”
“That’d be great. Can I have a couple of these for dessert?” He kissed her again, thinking she tasted sweeter than any candy cane or cookie.
“Fletch is going to know exactly what we’re doing.”
“Well, I would hope so, or I’ll have to give that boy an education.”
She laughed. “Go. I’ll see you Sunday.”
“’Bye, sweetheart.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, and then ducked out the door.
Yep, he was in big trouble. And the greatest part was that he didn’t even really seem to mind. Maybe it was truly time for him to move forward and take the next step. The fact that he was taking that step with pretty, gentle Maddy just made it that much sweeter.
Chapter Twelve
“Beef stew coming through,” Maddy called out as she entered the warm house.
“We’re in here,” Tanner replied from the living room. She looked over and saw that he and Cole had already put the tree in its stand. So much for Tanner being jealous. Their tree was at least a foot taller than hers, and fuller, too, to accommodate the larger room and higher ceiling.
She put the slow cooker on the table. “Be right back. I’ve got to get the boys.”
She went to the door, but Cole stepped inside with a boy on each arm and the diaper bag over his shoulder. “Looking for these?”
“I was just going to get them. Thanks, Cole.”
“No problem. I saw you drive in from the barn. Here you go, slugger.” He handed Liam to Maddy and then put Luke on the floor and started undoing his snowsuit. Together they got the boys undressed and soon the pair was standing in the middle of the kitchen with twisted socks and hair sticking up at odd angles.
“They’ve already eaten, so let me
get them settled with some toys and we can eat, too.” She busied herself plugging in the slow cooker to make sure everything was hot, then reached for the bag, taking out a variety of toys.
“I found something when I was looking for the decorations,” Cole said. “The old VHS movies Mom had for us when we were little. Including Christmas ones. I can put one on for them.”
She laughed. “You mean you still have a VCR?”
“Yeah, I found that in the attic, too, and it still works.” He grinned as if he was immensely proud of himself. “We have an assortment of classics. Rudolph, Frosty, Charlie Brown and the Grinch.”
His face looked so boyishly excited about it all that she said, “Pick your favorite. We’ll start there.”
The boys wandered around the living room, familiar now with the lower level of the house, while Cole set up the video and Maddy got out dishes and put the buns she’d brought on a plate. The television was larger than hers, and as soon as the Charlie Brown music came on, the twins’ attention was grabbed. Between that and the toys, Maddy figured she had about twenty minutes to eat before she’d have to referee something.
They all sat down to beef stew and crusty buns and the mood was definitely festive. The warm feelings from Friday night’s date had stayed with her all weekend long. She liked being with Cole—liked it a lot. As she split a bun and buttered it, she listened to him tease Tanner about some girl he’d been seeing. Cole was sweet to her and so good and patient with the boys. Dating hadn’t really been on her radar, but she wasn’t sorry. As long as he was content to take it slow.
She still didn’t quite trust herself yet. Her mood took a little dip as she remembered how happy she’d been before. She’d been so sure things were great only to find out she’d been wrong all along. It was going to take a while for her to get past that.
But if Cole could be as patient with her as he was with the boys...
“You got quiet all of a sudden,” Cole observed.
“Oh. Sorry. Just thinking.”
“I’ve heard it’s bad to do too much of that,” Tanner said, grinning.
“You could stand to do a little more,” Cole shot back at his brother, a crooked smile on his face.
“Yeah, yeah. Someday I might surprise you all,” Tanner said, scooping up some stew. “This is really good, Maddy.”
“Thanks. It’s my mom’s recipe.”
Maddy had barely scraped the bottom of her bowl when the kids started winding up. As she tended to them, Tanner and Cole took over tidying the lunch mess. Then Maddy put in another video—as much for Cole as for the boys—and cuddled with them on the sofa as Cole and Tanner debated over the lights for the tree.
Her heart hurt a bit, listening to them bicker good-naturedly. It felt like a real family moment, only this wasn’t her family. It was lovely to be included, and of course she cared for Cole. How could she not? But it wasn’t the same.
Why was she so melancholy today, anyway? Hadn’t she promised herself to live in the present? She let out a deep breath, trying to send her negativity with it. Her beautiful sons were snuggled up on her lap, a Christmas movie was playing, she was with friends decorating their tree. She had way too much to be thankful for.
Rudolph was nearly done by the time the lights were perfect, and both boys had fallen asleep. Maddy eased them down on to the sofa and covered them with one of Ellen’s crocheted afghans, pausing a moment to study their little faces. How she loved them...even when they made her tired and crazy. Looking at them as they slept chased away all the bad things.
Cole came over and looped his arms around her from behind, surprising her. “They’re pretty cute, huh.”
“Cole, your brother’s here.”
“Tanner’s not stupid. He knows we’ve been seeing each other.”
Somehow the embrace felt like more, though. Simply because it was in the presence of someone else. “It’s just new, that’s all,” she whispered.
“You’ll get used to it. I’m a hugger.”
She couldn’t stop the smile that touched her lips. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Okay, lovebirds, I’ve got some stuff over here I have no idea what to do with.”
Maddy knew she was blushing a little when she turned back. Tanner was holding rolls of gold mesh in his hands, looking a little helpless. She laughed. “You want some help?”
“Please,” he said. “Our mom usually does this part.”
She took the mesh from his hands and played with it for a few moments, getting the feel of it in her fingers. “Okay. I’m going to start here.” She went to the top and back of the tree. “Is there a step stool or something?”
Cole brought her the stool and she climbed up, then twisted the wire mesh and anchored it to a branch. “Tanner, unroll this as I go so I have some slack to work with.” She handed him the roll and they made their way around the tree, with Maddy making puffs with the mesh before gathering it around a branch. It was finicky work, and it took a good amount of time and some joking around to get it done, but in the end the gigantic tree was adorned with what looked like lovely gold ribbon. Their tree had white lights instead of multicolored, and the effect was stunning.
“Wow,” Cole said, admiring. “That looks good. I think we should say that we did it ourselves, Tanner.” He nudged Maddy’s elbow.
“Mom will never believe it,” Tanner said.
“You’re right.”
They were in the middle of putting on the ornaments when Tanner’s cell rang. He answered and Maddy heard Tanner say he’d be right there. When he hung up, Cole asked, “What’s going on?”
“Jimmy’s on call this weekend, but his car won’t start. We’ve got a run to the hospital.”
“Accident?”
Tanner went to the closet and took out his EMT jacket. “Baby’s coming. Hopefully we’ll have lots of time to get to the hospital. The roads are good.”
Maddy’s blood ran cold for a moment, but then she told herself it was silly. The only reason she was thinking of Laura was because Laura was the only pregnant woman she knew. But then, she was due around Christmastime and the holiday was only a few days away...coincidence?
“Who is it?” Cole asked, and Maddy held her breath.
Tanner had the grace to look uncomfortable. “It’s Laura Jessup.”
Maddy could feel Cole’s gaze on her. She refused to look at him right now, instead taking the ornament in her hand and hanging it on the tree with calm precision.
“You’d better get going, then,” Cole said, and no one spoke as Tanner dressed and headed out the door.
“Are you okay?” Cole asked quietly.
“I don’t know,” Maddy answered honestly. She reached for another ornament and hung it, not knowing what else to do but needing to keep her hands busy.
“I’m sorry I asked. I never thought about Laura...”
“The problem is, I think about her too often.” She picked up another ornament and looked for an empty space to hang it. “She’s having my husband’s baby.”
“Maddy, do you know that for sure?”
She turned on him then, annoyed with his placating tone. “The rumors have been around for months and not once has she denied it. Come on, Cole. If you were accused of having an affair with a married man and carrying his child, and it wasn’t true, don’t you think you’d clear the air?”
Cole didn’t say anything.
She tossed the ornament she was holding back into the box. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin a nice afternoon. I know I promised to live in the present. But it’s hard when reminders of the past sneak up to slap me in the face, you know?”
“Sure.”
His brief agreement only made her more annoyed. “You think I’m being unreasonable.”
His jaw hardened. “What I think is
that I want you to move past this so we might have a chance at something great. Because I really care for you, Maddy. More than I expected to.”
Oh, Lord. Her emotions were already a disaster zone, and adding his feelings to it only made it worse. She didn’t know what to think or say. On one hand, knowing he cared for her felt so good, but on the other hand, it only added to the pressure.
She took a step back. “Cole, I told you I needed to go slowly.”
“I know. But there’s slow and then there’s slow, and I’ve really been trying here. I tell myself to just be a friend. A good neighbor. That neither of us is ready, but honest to God, Maddy, every time we’re together I feel like I’m falling in—”
“Don’t say it.” She cut him off. “Just don’t. We’ve been out together a handful of times over the course of a month. Not even.”
He went to her and grabbed her forearm. “It’s more than that. You know it. There’s something real between us. Something awesome, and I’m willing to name it. But I can’t keep fighting against a ghost. Surely you can see that, right?”
She was starting to feel overwhelmed. Over on the sofa, the boys slept soundly. They’d lost their father. Right now Tanner was on his way to help bring their half brother or sister into the world. Did Cole not understand how hard that was for her to bear? Did he want her to pretend that it had never happened? That it wasn’t happening right now? Impossible.
“Look,” she said, trying to remain calm. “There is something between us. But I can’t just turn my feelings on and off. And I can’t just snap my fingers and say I’m over it. Don’t you think I would if I could?” Her heart hurt just saying the words. “Don’t you get that Gavin and I said vows and then they turned out to be meaningless for him? How could I have been so wrong about him? How can I ever be sure of anyone again?”
