Now sweating, we both sat up as I rode him. His eyes were on mine, and every few seconds he’d tease my tongue with his. When I was about to lose control, he tightened his hold, keeping me still. It took everything I had in me not to prematurely cry out in bliss. Waiting for him wasn’t in the rules, not the ones I’d made for myself.
Suddenly Easton froze. I could feel his hot cum filling me. My pussy reacted, finally succumbing to euphoria. I couldn’t deny myself the ecstasy for another moment.
Easton ran his hands through my messed up hair. “If you let me close my eyes, we can go for round two in a little while. I’m not even halfway done with your ass. I’m dying to take that pussy from behind and pound it, if you’ll allow it.”
“I’m ready when you are.”
He slid down near my waist. “First, I have some unfinished business I need to tend to. Don’t you dare get out of bed, once I fall asleep. I need to wake up with this pussy near my face, reminding me my job’s not done.”
“Don’t worry,” I mentioned. “I’m not about to let you forget.”
After a short break, we lie naked on my bed next to one another. It was strange. I knew nothing about this man, but felt comfortable enough to remain this close to him in anticipation of more of what we’d already done.
“Is it too late to make a request?” He asked.
“A request?”
“You say you like it rough. How rough is too rough? Do you like being punished?”
“Do you?” I wondered.
“It’s not so much as I like it, it’s that I need it. I want to be punished, Amantha. I want you to hurt me.”
“Why? I thought you wanted me to pleasure you.”
“Pain is pleasure in my life. Will you do it? Will you punish me?”
I was without words. I backed away from him, trying to catch a sense of humor as if this were some crazy test to see how far I was willing to go. His smug grimace didn’t change. He looked as if he’d done something terrible and wanted to be reprimanded for it. “I don’t know. I like kink, but you want me to what, beat you?”
“I want you hurt me. I don’t care how you do it.” He sat up while facing me. “Hurt me, Amantha. Isn’t that what you want? Don’t you want someone to pay for everything you’ve lost? Take it out on me. Show me how mad you still are.”
I shoved him away, not wanting to hear his bullshit any longer. “Stop. Please. You’re ruining this.”
He held open his arms. “Come on. Tell the truth. Your parents died for no reason, right? Doesn’t that make you angry? Let me be the person you vent to. Use me.”
“Their deaths make me angry, but I’m not doing this. It’s my burden to live with.”
“Slap me. Do it. I bet it feels good.”
I climbed off the bed. “I can’t. I won’t. You said we didn’t have to think about the past. Why would you do this to me?” I felt like I was going to cry. No longer did I feel like he was a saint. Easton was obviously fucked up and I didn’t know if I wanted to find out why. I suspected he was married, and if I agreed to punish him he wouldn’t feel so bad about what he was going through. A part of me felt angry that a man would cheat on his wife so easily. “Maybe you should leave,” I suggested.
He stiffened, but remained in the same position. Then finally his posture relaxed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”
“No. It’s fine. I’m not really in the mood to continue anymore. It’s been fun, but enough is enough. I want you to go. We’re done here.” I was becoming angry with him, or maybe it was adulterous men in general. I knew I should have considered it sooner, but I went with what my body needed, instead of making a smart decision and abstaining.
“Amantha, you’ve got the wrong idea. I need you to know…”
I put my hand up. “Save it. I’m not here to judge you.” “Don’t make me leave.” He reached for my hands, taking both of them into his.
I pulled away quickly, slapping my hand across his face. “Get off me.” The sting to my palm reminded me I’d just done what he’d wanted. I stared into his desperate eyes realizing he’d been right. Without saying anything, I slapped him again. His hands found my waist and pulled me close, his lips crashing against mine.
When we pulled away I shoved him back down on the bed, climbing on top of him. I couldn’t explain what was happening to me, but I liked the way it made me feel to express myself this way. He took my wrist and slapped himself again in the same cheek. “Don’t hold back, Amantha. You won’t hurt me. I need this. Nothing should ever feel this good in my life. I need you to punish me for wanting you.”
Tears filled my eyes as I slapped him on the chest. “You don’t deserve me,” I wallowed.
“Harder,” he ordered.
I began to cry as both hands slammed against his hard chest one more time. When my head came down over it I felt his arms wrapping around me. “I hate this!” I yelled.
He held me closer and kissed me on the forehead. “I’m sorry.”
Something was wrong with me to appreciate what had just happened between us. Was I sick? Were we both?
I wanted to be rational. I should have been. What man wants to be punished for the benefit of someone else? A married, guilty one, obviously.
He had secrets. We all did. This was taking it to another level though. Obviously something tormented him to the brink of anguish, but I didn’t dare ask about it. What good would it do when I knew I’d never see him again? “You made me cry, asshole.”
He laughed and kissed me gently on the forehead. “I asked for the pain. Now it’s time to give you more pleasure. Let me show you how I can dry those tears.”
It was evident I’d gone batshit crazy. Nothing else could explain why I’d want this man to still have his hands on me. His next kiss was smooth, passionate, and nothing like before. He took his time running his fingers through my long hair as our lips played together. The warmth of his body reminding me once again how good he’d made me feel before we got distracted by ill feelings.
I wanted to forget his bought of irrational thinking and go back to how it was before.
Easton stopped abruptly and pulled back. “How I acted just now. It was out of line. I’m not into S&M. It’s just sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy.”
“Do I want to know why?”
“I’m already doing a great job making you hate me. You’ve suffered enough for one night.”
“How about we forget about our little spanking episode and get back to the good stuff? I’m not ready for you to leave yet, Easton Pratt. You want to be violent? Fuck me harder. That’s what I want from you. It’s how you‘re going to make me forget about what I’ll never get back.”
I can’t remember what time it was when we started having sex. By ten the next morning we were still going at it. He’d fucked me on my bed, on the floor, on the stairs, back down stairs, and in the shower again. When we stopped for breaks he’d feed me with his fingers, and talk to me about how his life could be different if he had a fresh start like I had. Never once did I wish I could visit him. I knew what this encounter was for both us. It was a one-time deal.
That’s why I wasn’t in total shock when he prepared to leave.
We’d been sipping on hot tea, looking at the heavy wads of snow falling from the trees. The sun had come out, and the sound of birds were loud enough to hear from indoors. It was like we were old lovers, settled in together, without a care in the world. I’d had the best sex of my life with a total stranger. I’d let go of my fears and let exploration lead the way.
“I wish there was a way for me to see you again.”
I looked over at him and smiled. “I’ll check my schedule and get back to you.”
“There’s probably something I should have said before we jumped into bed; something you should know about me.”
I worried about diseases. It would be my luck to contract something that would slowly kill me while I rotted away alone. “Did you give me herpes?”
He shook his head, acting like I was way off on my assumption. “No. It’s nothing like that.”
My mind traveled to another reason for a serious conversation. He was obviously married, and I’d rather not know than to think I was part of his infidelities. I’d already suspected as much. I placed my finger over his lips. “It doesn’t matter. What happened is done. We had fun, and now it’s time to say goodbye.”
“Oh, I see.” He smirked. “I suppose it’s better this way. I guess I should hit the road, before they come looking for me. I don’t want them anywhere near you.”
It was weird, but I figured he was being protective of me and what we’d just shared. After looking down the mountain at the charred remains of my friend’s cabin, I smiled and reached over to catch his hand. “Thank you for saving my life, and giving me something to remember you by. It’s a shame this is your last day here. Do you want my number? I don’t have my phone on all the time, but I check the messages.”
“Yeah.”
I grabbed paper, seeming desperate, and jotted down my number for him to take. “Did you still need to use the phone? It’s probably got a good enough signal.”
“No. It’s too late. Don’t worry about it.” He stroked the side of my face. “I’m glad we met, Amantha. You suck at cards, but you’re pretty damn good at a lot of other things. It’s good to know you’re okay up on this mountain. If we never meet again, last night will be one I’ll never forget.”
“You really know how to leave a girl with a smile on her face.”
“It’s been a while since I’ve been able to feel like this. It’s going to take me a week to walk straight again, and I’m okay with it. I’ll never regret what we did. Maybe I was meant to save you from that fire. It would make this trip more fulfilling than you’ll ever know. Thank you. I wish life wasn’t so cruel to you.”
He leaned over to kiss me goodbye. “I hope we meet again.”
“Goodbye, Easton.”
I didn’t watch him leave. It wasn’t necessary. He had a life I wasn’t a part of. Out of the time I’d spent living on my own, I couldn’t remember ever feeling so content. Maybe I’d welcome him again the following year. Only time would tell if he’d show up on my doorstep asking for another go. For now, he was the best one-night-stand I’d ever experienced. If I was lucky, he’d return. If it happened, I wouldn’t waste time playing cards. No, we’d get right to it, because even mountain women need a good fucking.
Chapter 5
By the time spring came around, and the ground thawed, I was making my first trip into town, including a stop at my doctors for my annual physical. Since I only made this trip once or twice it was important to get everything taken care. I had a huge list, which would require us to stay in town for two days; us being me and the dog.
My doctor was in her fifties, and one of the three who resided in the area. I’d picked her by luck, and appreciated her friendliness, especially when I didn’t know anyone. Moving away from everything I’d known hadn’t been easy for me. I had to find a doctor immediately so I could refill my antidepressants. She’d write me a prescription for six months, in which I’d have to pay the full amount because insurance wouldn’t allow me to fill such a large amount of pills at once.
I’d lived in Alaska for an entire year before weaning myself off of them, but remained a patient to make sure I was in good health. When you have a ton of time on your hands you tend to over exaggerate every symptom one might have.
This particular visit left me with some unexpected news.
I was five months pregnant and hadn’t even known it. Apparently, since the cold months cause locals to gain weight, I hadn’t paid much attention to my body changes. Each spring I’d get back to normal activities and lose the added pounds in no time at all.
“What do you mean I’m pregnant?” I asked the doctor as if I didn’t believe the results. “It’s impossible.”
She glanced down at the results for a second time. “Well, we did our normal blood workup that we always do, including a pregnancy test. It’s routine. I won’t know the results of the others until the lab sends them, but according to this you are pregnant. Are you sure this couldn’t be a mistake? We could test again.”
I sighed and looked down, unable to accept I could be carrying a child as a result of a one-night-stand. “Yeah, I think we need to retest.”
This time, the doctor drew the blood herself and had the vials sent off to the lab, just to appease me. Since I’d be in town for a couple of days, she’d hopefully have the results back in time to give me the news before we ventured back home.
I was a nervous wreck as I waited. I couldn’t get my ass in gear. Instead of stocking my truck with items we’d need, I stayed in bed at the hotel, praying for some kind of miracle to make this all a bad dream. On the second day I finally got up the nerve to pick up a test at the pharmacy. After gathering a few more items I knew were important, I paid and hurried back to the hotel where I could pee on a stick and see the future.
Two lines.
I grabbed the second test out of the box and forced a few more strands of urine out. Three minutes later the same two lines appeared. By this point I was freaking out, panicking, pacing around the room like a nut job. What the hell was I going to do with a baby? How would I raise a child on my own? Was it even possible?
One thing was for sure, I didn’t want to up and move again. I’d finally settled in a place where I felt normal again. This had to be a bump in the road. If anyone could figure out how to be a mother, I could. I’d have to. Like it or not, I was going to be this little child’s only means of life.
It took me several hours to stop crying. Even after, I had a few breakdowns resulting in feeling too sick to venture out into town. Our two-day trip turned into four, and even though I was already certain the results were true, I went back to the doctors to hear what I needed to do next.
She sent me to her associate, an OBGYN, who happened to be in the same office.
To determine the date I conceived, they did a sonogram. I watched in amazement as the screen lit up with something that didn’t at all look like a little peanut. The baby on this screen appeared to already have limbs. She immediately started doing measurements, while I tried to think of the date of the fire so I could solve the mystery for her.
“It was almost five months ago,” I managed to whisper. “It was only once.”
“And you’ve had no signs?”
“None. I’ve gained a few pounds, but I always do during the winter months because I’m cramped up in the cabin. I haven’t been sick. I take extra naps, but I chalked it up to being bored.”
“You’re lucky, Amantha. Some women experience severe morning sickness, fatigue, as well as other symptoms. Had you noticed you missed your periods?”
“No. I’ve never been regular. It’s not like I keep a calendar. When it happens I put on a pad and wait for it to end. I guess I was preoccupied, or just being stupid.”
“Would you like to know what you’re having?”
It was a simple question, but one I had to think about. Did I want to know? Did it make it more real for me? Was this putting me one step closer to being a mother? “Yes, please.”
“It’s a boy.” She pointed to an area between the two legs. “See right there.”
I didn’t know what I was looking at, but agreed anyway. “Yeah.”
“You’re too far along now for an abortion, but have you considered other options? Adoption perhaps?” She asked.
“No. I’d never give my own child away, or terminate the pregnancy, even if there was still time. Things happen for a reason, and like it or not, this is my future now.”
“I admire your courage. With that being said, you’re going to have to make a lot of changes with your life.”
When she said it my general practitioner came into the room. She saw the screen and placed her hands in her pockets as she took a look for herself. “Wow. Look at that little baby. Amantha, you’re halfway thr
ough your pregnancy.”
“Sorry I questioned you. I couldn’t come to terms with the news.”
“It’s okay. I gather it comes as quite a shock.”
“I was just explaining how she’s going to have to change her life,” the obstetrician said.
My regular doctor agreed. “She’s right. You’re going to need to start taking vitamins daily. We’ll need to do another blood workup to test for levels. If it’s okay with you, I’m going to ask you to stay a couple more days. We’ll run a glucose test, and monitor your blood pressure to rule out preeclampsia being a factor. I may send you home with a monitor. Since I might not be able to check you monthly we’ll do video chats where you can give me your vitals. This is where things will get tricky and could become life threatening. I urge you to find a place in town until you deliver, but if you can’t, we’ll have to make the best of the situation. You’ll have to prepare for the baby inside of your home. You’ll need certain items on hand, especially during the winter months. This pregnancy won’t be like we would normally want to treat. Because of your location, we’re going to have to rely on you to give us the information we need. If you know someone who could stay with you it would help greatly. I’d hate for something to happen and you not be able to contact us. With only four and a half months left to go, we’ll have to play it by ear to see if we can get you down the mountain to deliver. Normally I wouldn’t recommend flying, but we might not have a choice. I’ll make sure Jack is aware that you’re going to have an infant up at that cabin in case of any sort of emergency that would require an airplane ride. You’ll need to stay healthy. No overexerting yourself. I understand you do it all on your own, but you’re going to have to hire someone to help with the heavy lifting. You’re carrying something fragile, so being safe is the key to a healthy pregnancy and making it to full term. According to this, it looks like you’re going to be due around August or early September. Hopefully we can beat the weather. I’ll make sure you have a room at the hotel and notify them you’ll be receiving medical care while you’re here. If for any reason you experience problems, you’ll need to call Jack. We’ll do our best to get to you.”
Frigid Affair Page 5
