Frigid Affair

by Jennifer Foor

  “I get it. I remember when my mom was pregnant with my brother. She would have an appointment each month, and then as it got closer she had to go in each week. What do you think I should do? Maybe it would be better if I closed up my place and stayed in town before the first snow hits. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m still in shock, to be honest. All I know is that I don’t want to deliver a child on my own.”

  “If you did that you’d get the best care. In case of any emergency you’d be close to the hospital. I’m not trying to alarm you, Amantha. You may carry to term without problems. You’re healthy, and that helps, but you never know when you might trip or become ill.”

  I hated thinking about leaving my house unattended, but I knew I had a limited amount of time to make a decision. “No. I think it’s best if I find a place to stay in town. I’ll have to make a trip up to the cabin to close up, but it’s not like anything is holding me there.”

  “Good. I’m going to send you home with books. If you want, I can see if my husband would be willing to help you gather some of your things. Maybe you could rent one of the cabins. It would give you and your pup some extra space instead of being cramped in a small hotel room.”

  “Good idea. I’ll ask when I get back to the hotel. I know they own a couple they rent out. I stayed in one when I first came to look at properties. My neighbors stayed in them when they came to do repairs on the house that burned.”

  “I know this isn’t the news you expected, but you’re making a smart decision. Things can happen during childbirth, even with the medical advances that have been made. It’s better to be safe than sorry.”

  I agreed. This was my life. I had to do what was necessary. It was no longer just about me and the dog. We were adding to our family.

  The moment the word entered my mind I thought about the ones I’d lost. For the first time in forever my heart had a reason to keep beating. I’d have a family again. This child would have my blood. He would love me the way no other would be able to.

  I made it out into the parking lot before the tears came. While Ava hopped out of the truck to relieve herself, I bawled. So much was about to change. There was a ton to do before it happened.

  I’d met the local hotel owners, Clark and June, when I’d first moved to Alaska, and stayed there until my cabin was ready to be occupied. It’s also where I’d picked up my puppy Ava.

  She was such a little white puff ball at ten weeks old. I fell in love instantly, and knew she’d be the only companion I needed.

  With a lot of time on my hands, I spent most of my days and evenings training her. She was the biggest help. Believe it or not, I’d trained her to help me carry things. She pulled a contraption I’d made to hold firewood across the property so it was easier to get into the cabin. She went wherever I went. She was my very best friend.

  Ava and I stock-piled the back of the truck full of dog food and supplies to do maintenance around the cabin on the first day we were there. Afterwards, she played with her parents and siblings at the hotel the breeders owned. I always enjoyed seeing them together, like a family reunion they looked forward to.

  As I sat down with the owner, June, I watched Ava in her glory. “So what’s up, Amantha?”

  “I was wondering if I’d be able to rent out one of the cabins for the next several months.”

  “Are you having some work done on the cabin?”

  “Not exactly. I just found out I’m pregnant. The doctors think it would be best if I stayed in town until after I’ve delivered.”

  “When are you due?”

  “I’m five months along.” It wasn’t the exact answer, but she understood.

  “I can put you in one of the larger ones. If you end up wanting to stay longer, just let us know. We’ll keep it off the books. We’ve never been at capacity with guests anyway.”

  “You don’t have to do that. I’ll pay for the place.”

  “You’re a local. You need a safe place, and I have the room. I insist.”

  “Thanks June. I appreciate it. This is all so new to me. It hasn’t all sunk in yet.”

  “I bet. Will the father be joining you?”

  June was probably in her forties. She’d been married for a long time to one man. I wasn’t sure how she’d react to my one-night stand, but secrets around town didn’t really exist. “He was just a guy on a hunting trip.”

  “So, you’re not in touch with him?”

  “Not at all, but it’s okay. Really. It’s probably better this way.”

  “I know this is a big change, Amantha,” my sort-of-friend stated. “It’s also a blessing, if you’ll allow it to be.”

  I hunkered up a smile, even though inside I dreaded what would come next. I knew there were plenty of women who couldn’t conceive. I had to consider my situation to be some kind of miracle, and even though I couldn’t appreciate it at the moment, I knew in time it would change everything.

  Chapter 6

  With the news of my pregnancy fresh in my head, I was glad to have help getting my cabin closed up and moving a few of my necessities from there to the place I’d be temporarily calling home. Unlike Ava, who was thrilled to be able to play with other dogs each day, I hated the idea of having to uproot because it was too dangerous to be out on my own, though I understood the importance.

  After the first week I missed my cabin. I spent most of my days reading the books about pregnancy, because let’s face it, I didn’t know the first thing about being a good mother. There were so many little details I wouldn’t have thought about. Let’s not even get started on the topic of diapers. How in the world was I supposed to stock up when the sizes changed as the child grew? If I chose cloth, I’d have to hand wash those stinky things.

  None of this was how I saw my future going. Temporary or not, I couldn’t begin to fathom being able to take care of a tiny infant.

  As time passed, I became undoubtedly depressed. I surrounded myself with the small amount of items I was able to bring from the cabin, but it wasn’t like I was used to. I missed being home with the remnants of my family around me. I hadn’t realized how much little knick knacks meant to me until they weren’t there.

  The place I was staying was nice. It had a fireplace that ran off propane instead of wood. It had electric throughout, instead of just being hooked up to solar panels like mine was. I found myself keeping all the lights on, just because I could. I watched television, so much that I forgot to shower on some days. For someone who hadn’t known I was pregnant, the weight started to show almost immediately after making the move. My belly grew by the day, and two weeks later I recognized something inside of me that wasn’t a gas pocket, like I’d always assumed. The little life growing in my stomach was moving around in there. I could feel him. The constant reminder was only more active as my pregnancy progressed. By the sixth month I had a cute little belly, albeit my ass was getting too large to fit into my pants comfortably. I had a pair of my father’s old sweats I managed to salvage, and thank goodness I’d taken them with me when I came down from the mountain, because I lived in them.

  Being held up in town also gave me a constant WIFI signal. It didn’t take me long to wish I could reconnect with Easton. I began searching every social media site for his name, coming up with nothing. It was like he didn’t exist. For someone prominent in the New York City Fire Department, he was nowhere to be found. It was absurd. My last resort was checking dating websites, in which I came up with no results again. In this day and age, I wasn’t sure how it was possible. People were easy to find, yet I couldn’t even come up with a people search for someone with his name and around the age he was in the entire state of New York.

  By the eighth month of my term, I got it in my head that maybe he didn’t want to be found. Perhaps he was married and told me a different last name to keep me from tracking him down. Lets face it, men take trips to get away from what they deal with at home. He saw an opportunity he couldn’t refuse and he took it. He knew no one would ever find ou
t. I was an adulterers dream; someone living in the middle of nowhere with little means to hunt them down. I’d offered myself on a silver platter that night.

  Since he’d never tried to get in touch with me, I knew I had to be right. Easton was someone who came into my life for a reason. He’d saved me and left with something to forever remember him by, but he’d never be anything more than a memory.

  My doctor appointments became more frequent as my due date came closer. I enjoyed hearing my little guy’s heartbeat on the monitor and getting good results for our health, because I knew soon enough we’d be back on the mountain starting a new adventure together. I’d had plenty of time to consider how I was going to raise him, and what I’d have to do to make sure he grew up educated and respectful. Living on the mountain would pose a problem when he had to go to school. I could do it myself, but I wanted him to have the opportunity to be around other children. We’d have to move, at least into town when the time came. Until he was school-aged, we’d stay in the cabin.

  I’d never expected to love someone this much again, but he’d stolen my heart. My little miracle would be named after the men in my life.

  My son was born during a torrential downpour, go figure. I was in excruciating labor as they came to pick me in a four-wheel drive SUV, because I couldn’t drive myself. Ava was freaking out, especially when the local sheriff walked right into our house to get me. Once I got her calmed down, he helped me walk out to his truck, and then gave me a struggled boost into the passenger seat.

  The ride was slow, rough, and petrifying. I pictured sliding in a ditch and giving birth while upside down. I imagined dying before I got to see his beautiful face.

  My contractions were only two minutes apart when we finally arrived at the hospital. I remember my doctor coming out in her rain coat and rubber boots to wheel me inside. I knew I’d be frightened, but nothing could prepare me for what it was like to go through this alone.

  I’d given up my friends a long time ago. It made this particular night bittersweet. A new life was coming into the world, but I wouldn’t have anyone to share it with, aside from the medical team. I wouldn’t have family coming in to visit me, or flowers delivered. I wouldn’t have a man by my side to see his son’s eyes open for the first time. He’d never know his father; something I longed to have back.

  I cried during the entire excruciating labor, not only because the pain was unimaginable, but due to the fact that I was utterly alone.

  Then I heard his wails and in that moment everything changed. My son was no longer within the safety of belly. Ready or not, he’d arrived into this brutal world and it would be up to me to keep him safe. The moment I looked into his eyes I knew I’d never let him go. I needed to spend every second with him in case something were to happen. I’d always remind him how much he meant to me, and never stay angry, no matter what he did to upset me. He had to know my promise to him was forever. I couldn’t allow history to repeat itself.

  Christopher Charles. He’d carry those two names on, reminding me of all the reasons I hadn’t given up after losing them.

  Chapter 7

  In all the reading I’d done to prepare for Christopher’s arrival, I’d never learned enough to be an expert. I felt like I failed at everything. I attempted to breast feed, but he wouldn’t latch on to either side. I tried to get him on a schedule, but he still woke up at least three times during the night. I pumped milk and mixed it with formula, trying three different kinds, but he still got colic. Nothing I did could soothe my miserable baby.

  After two months I was ready to move back to the cabin, but June had been so much of a help to me that I didn’t want to be far away from her. Even though she’d refused, I wrote a check out to cover my stay. I know she didn’t mind us being there, and they’d never been at capacity, but it was their business and nothing in life is free.

  It was in that time frame when I heard from my neighbors, Bob and Eve. They’d come to check on the progress of their home, only to reveal something that left me with a lot of unanswered questions.

  The moment they set eyes on Christopher they fell in love. Even they couldn’t get enough of him. They insisted on taking us out to the only restaurant in town.

  After we were seated and placed our order, I noticed they were seeming to be uncomfortable about something. Bob folded his hands on the table, while his wife fidgeted. “Amantha, we need to ask you a question about the men that saved you from the fire.”

  Right away I wondered if they’d done the math and figured out one of them had fathered my child. I wondered if I should have mentioned it was an old friend from home just in case the news they had was catastrophic.

  I’d been right to worry.

  “As you know, Eve and I had a lot of precious items lost in the fire. We kept certain things at that house because we knew there was less chance of being burglarized. Let’s face it, there isn’t crime where we’re located.”

  I smiled, not really knowing what he was getting at. “We don’t even have visitors. No one wants to come that far out.”

  “What Bob is trying to get at…,” Eve interrupted. “I don’t even feel right asking this, but did you happen to notice any of them carrying large bags out of the home?”

  “Bags?” I didn’t understand. I wasn’t playing stupid. I honestly didn’t get what they were asking me. “I was unconscious when they arrived. I’d gone in to get as many of your things as I could salvage. One of the men pulled me out. I woke up in the yard.”

  “So you don’t remember seeing anything strange? You didn’t notice anyone down the mountain the day before? Ava didn’t bark?”

  “Why are you asking me this? If something was strange I would have told you first. I woke up to the smell of smoke and did everything I could to get into the house before it was too late.”

  Eve reached across the table and took my hand, while Christopher cooed in his safety seat, surprisingly in a good mood, instead of being miserable. “Sweetie, we’re not implying you did anything wrong. The insurance company gave us a hard time about some of the items they never recovered. Since we couldn’t be here because the weather we were hoping you could shed light on some things. Do you remember that large marble centerpiece we kept on the dining room table?”

  It was hard to miss. It was about two feet tall and all white. It was the figure of a man on a bucking horse. I’d commented on it several times and they’d hinted on it being extremely heavy and outrageously expensive. “Yes, of course.”

  “It was never recovered. The dining room was the least damaged room. We saw pictures. Though charred, the table was still standing. Nothing was in the center.”

  “I only saw the fireman who saved me. His one friend came to the door, but I couldn’t even tell you what he looked like. He wore a hat, but he seemed like a muscular man. I never noticed anyone else going in and out of the house, but I know there were at least three or four total. Do they think it was arson?”

  “Yes, they’re sure of it,” Bob answered. “We also know there were other items taken. That statue was ten grand by itself. It belonged to my mother.”

  “Oh my god. I had no idea. I would have tried to save it.”

  “You could have died. We’ve tried to look up all the firemen involved. We wanted to thank them for saving you and helping with the fire. There was just one small problem.”

  “What?” I asked. In all honesty I hoped they had a contact number I could reach out to Easton with.

  “None of them exist. The hunting cabin down the mountain wasn’t rented to anyone that weekend. Whoever stayed there had broken in.”

  My stomach churned with bile. “I don’t understand. They said they were firemen. They acted like they knew what they were doing. One of them saved me.”

  “It’s a blessing he did, but I’m afraid they weren’t who they said they were.”

  This couldn’t be happening. I didn’t mean to look at Christopher with worry, but I couldn’t help it. Was his father a criminal?
Is that why I couldn’t find him? Is it why he wanted to be punished when we were together? Was it all a lie? I felt so sick over it I had to get up and rush to the bathroom.

  Eve came in after me, leaving the baby with her husband. She put her hand on my back when she found me standing in an open stall. “Dear, are you okay? Was it something we said?”

  I took some toilet paper and wiped my mouth. “Eve,” I managed to get out. “The man that saved me… he came home with me. He stayed the night. I…” The words wouldn’t come out.

  She simply smiled and hugged me. “It’s okay.”

  “I didn’t know. I believed him. It had been so long. I just wanted feel something again. He seemed kind and gentle. If I would’ve known.”

  “Have you had contact with the man since that night?”

  I pulled away and shook my head. “No. I tried to look him up, but I couldn’t find anything. I don’t want to believe this is real, but what else could it be? Oh my god, is my son’s father a criminal?”

  After writing down Easton’s name, the only one I managed to get, I knew I’d never be able to look at that night we spent together the same. It took me a while to calm down enough to go back to my seat. I picked at my food, avoiding eye contact with Bob. I couldn’t deal with his judgment, especially after I’d confirmed to have made a baby with the suspected arsonist who helped burn down their house to steal from them. I think I was almost happy when Christopher had one of his crying episodes, because it gave me a reason to leave early.

  Once I arrived back at my place I was filled with grief. I couldn’t deny my inability to rationalize that I might have created a new life with common criminal. Another part of me wondered why he’d saved me. All the things that seemed shady started making sense. All the cryptic comments, and the way he kept looking out the window as if someone was coming after him.