Frigid Affair

by Jennifer Foor

  I took his head and pushed his face into my pussy. “Clean me off.”

  The second his tongue flicked my throbbing clit I was lost in waves of euphoria. My hunger for him was only increasing as we reacquainted ourselves with each other. I’d forgotten how much pleasure he’d given me, and now that it was fresh in my head I wondered if I’d be able to resist wanting him over and over again.

  Little did I know, the bond we shared with Christopher was turning into something neither of us expected. I was overwhelmed by the pleasure he offered, forgetting about the past, the pain, and all the reasons we shouldn’t be together. While in his hold nothing else mattered. I wanted him, and it was obvious he felt the same. Once again we got carried away in each other. This newfound relationship could be the end of everything if we let it consume us. Only time would tell if we could build something out of the ashes we’d been living in, but for the first time I was ready to find out if it was possible.

  Chapter 17

  He devoured me like his favorite dessert, savoring every single place his lips were able to reach. He picked me up and carried me to his bed, laying me down on the soft fabric of the comforter and spreading my legs so he could climb in between them. He was slow and endearing, kissing me more, while using his hands to pleasure me in other places.

  When he entered me, it wasn’t like before. He moved at a appreciative pace, his muscles holding most of his weight from crushing me. When we switched positions he wanted me to remain close, instead of sitting up to give him a better view of my chest. Before, he’d seemed like it was his favorite part of a woman, though I was beginning to think this new side of him was the true Jensen coming out.

  Before it was about fucking. I needed to be ravaged and taken advantage of, which he’d done a good job at.

  The person I was in bed with now was gracious. His focus was on making sure every part of me was tended to. I matched his rhythm, my body still weak from the orgasm he’d given me earlier. My breathing was heavy and strained, so I appreciated the slower paced movements. I couldn’t stop touching his chest and running my fingers through the small patch of hair on his skin. As long as I could feel him I knew this was really happening and not just a vivid dream I’d wake up from.

  This wasn’t the same man I’d been with before. I can attest that this man making love to me had been buried by a web of lies he’d concocted in order to get close to me. Now that the curtain had been dropped, there was nothing holding him back except himself, and while I worried he’d relapse, I knew I was experiencing the best of him.

  Whatever was happening between us wasn’t love. It was a carnal desire built on uncertainty. It was dangerous and the consequences would determine whether Christopher was raised with one parent or two. Neither one of us were thinking about that though. We were too overcome in pleasure to consider this could pose a threat to a healthy relationship.

  My focus remained on the way our bodies worked together to find a common reward. I knew Jensen was going to last longer this time. He held me close, still constantly kissing me as if I was a delicious treat. When I sat up straight he went right for my breast, cupping both and then massaging them. I arched my back and swayed my hips, my clit rubbing against his cock as he slid in and out of me. I tried not to moan or cry out too loudly on account of Christopher being asleep in the room above us, but some things felt too damn good to hold my excitement in. As I reacted to the fantastic sensations I was experiencing while in this position, Jensen brought his hands down and cupped my ass. He slowed my pace down again, almost forcing my body to grind against his harder. I let him lead, because let’s face it, I was coming off my rocker by the second.

  Just as I was about to break down, he halted us. “Woman, you need to slow down. I can’t handle the way you make me feel.”

  I ran my hand over the side of his face while peering into his eyes. “I can’t stop. I want to come again. Pinch my nipples. Let me fuck you just a little.”

  He kissed me ravenously, only pulling away to flip me over. He rolled me on my stomach and pulled my ass up in the air. I felt his hand coming down over my sensitive pussy. He drove a couple fingers inside, roughly shoving them in and out. Once they were removed he leaned forward and brought them to my lips. “Suck them,” he requested.

  I did as I was told, savoring the taste of my previous release. I could feel him messing around with my ass. He was poking me in the hole to see how I’d react. I shimmied a bit and turned back to look at him for a second. “Are you waiting for a go ahead?”

  “Are you giving me one? I’ve wanted to fuck that ass since your pants came off.”

  I lifted my butt in the air more, shaking it around to taunt him. The pressure of him entering me caused me to cry out. I wasn’t tense, but he was large and quite frankly hurt me. A few seconds later my body naturally relaxed, allowing him his way with my backside. This time he was the one moaning nonsense. He had a strong hold on my hips as he slapped against me over and over again.

  When my knees became weak, I knew it was only a matter of time before I lost myself again. I reached between my own legs and traced tiny circles over my swollen clit. When it wasn’t enough, I drove two fingers inside my spent pussy, rocking even harder against them.

  My orgasm was like fireworks going off in the night sky. My head flew back and I cried out words with no meaning. Behind me, I felt Jensen tightening, finally giving in to his own second release.

  Afterwards I lay in his arms. The wind outside vibrated off the windows while we remained surrounded in the heat of each other. He played with my hair, every once in a while kissing the top of my head in between conversations.

  He told me about his childhood and what it was like to grow up with a bunch of sisters. I spoke of my brother and how I missed our little arguments the most. We talked about my pregnancy. Jensen wanted to know every detail, so I gave him the rundown. I could tell he would have liked to be around. In my defense I did look for him, at least until I thought he was a criminal.

  By the time I closed my eyes to go to sleep I was confident we could be friends, maybe even something more. We had a very convoluted relationship. Obviously we enjoyed sleeping together. We just needed to figure out how to be normal people when we weren’t getting it on, for the sake of our son.

  I had no idea what was going to happen between us. Either one of us could wake the next day and decide this was all a big mistake again. We wouldn’t know until the time came.

  For now, I was content in his arms. I felt safe, happy even. It was enough to make me wonder if it was at all possible for us to build something stronger, or if we’d ruined it by jumping the gun again and having sex.

  Before I dozed off Jensen gave me an idea of where he saw things going, at least for the time being.

  “I think I want to date you.”

  I leaned on my elbow and traced one finger over his left nipple. “That’s so weird.”

  “I’m being serious. We’re obviously attracted to each other. We have a lot in common. We have a kid together. We’re also the only human beings for miles. What’s stopping us?”

  “For starters, a past we can’t get over.”

  “What if we can? Amantha, I’m here for the next few months. Let’s make the most of it. Stay with me, here in this house. Let me get to know my son. Let me prove I can be someone you can count on. When spring comes along you can decide where you want this to go. If you want space I’ll give it to you. If we have to share custody and keep our distance we’ll figure it out. I’m just asking for some of your time. If you say yes it means we can keep doing this together. I don’t know about you, but you’re addicting.”

  I smiled and buried my head against his warm skin. “Okay.” It wasn’t a hard decision. My cabin was getting too small and Jensen had every right to know Christopher. There was no sense in me dragging him up and down the hill every day. This house had plenty of room and I knew Bob and Eve would be fine with it. They’d offered it to me in the past whenever I ne
eded it. “I’ll agree to your terms. No promises. We’ll be ourselves and see where it takes the three of us.”

  He kissed me lightly on the nose. “Say that again for me.”

  “What? The three of us?”

  He smiled. “I’m going to make this work.”

  “I want you to know, even if I’m not a part of it, you’ll never be alone again. Neither of us will.”

  “That might be the best thing I have ever heard someone say to me.”

  I could tell how much it meant when he pulled me closer. For now I was content with this situation, but much like Jensen I knew how life could take unexpected turns without notice. I had to keep my guard up, because it was the only way I’d ever be able to handle another devastating loss.

  Chapter 18

  Anyone who doesn’t believe the world works in mysterious ways has never lived a day in my shoes. Robbed from a life we both deserved, there was now something to hold on to. I wanted to believe that, because without hope there was nothing left. Regression was a bitch, and I for one was tired of dwelling in it.

  After staying up half the night reconnecting with Jensen, I woke up in the master bedroom wrapped in a down comforter. I knew I was completely naked underneath the covers and thinking about how I’d gotten that way sent chills throughout my body. I turned over to see him sleeping only to discover he wasn’t there. I gathered the blanket and walked toward the bedroom door, opening it to see if I could spot him. He had Christopher on the couch and was attempting to change his diaper.

  I wanted to laugh when I saw him holding up the fabric in the air to see if there was a right or wrong way to manage it. I didn’t want to think how he’d end up attaching it to the rambunctious child. “It looks like you could use some help.” As soon as Christopher heard me he rolled off the sofa and came running in my direction, stark naked. Jensen shook his head and watched the little guy grab onto the blanket and attempt to climb up it. I crouched down to be eye level with him. “You need to go get dressed, buddy.”

  “No.” Being defiant was a game to him. He stopped what he was doing and ran in another direction, hiding behind the large kitchen island.

  I shrugged when I looked over at Jensen again, paying no mind to what he must be thinking about the things we’d done just hours before. “This could go on for hours. He hates being clothed.”

  “Does he take after his mother?” He asked with sarcasm.

  “A girl can’t tell all her secrets at once.”

  All of the sudden his ornery grimace became more serious. “I meant what I said last night. I know we’re still strangers in the big picture of things. Maybe we’re the most messed up image of what a family should be, but that’s what we are. When I’m around you, and we’re not arguing about the could have beens, nothing else matters. I want us to try to stay together, before we make the decision to do this apart.”

  I wasn’t in any condition to argue with him, having no clothes on and our past actions so fresh in my mind. “Okay.” I had to admit that the idea of having someone in my life was exciting. For a long time I assumed my vagina would grow cobwebs and forget how to work. Not only did I have a man who wanted to be with me, but he was downright handsome and kind. I thought back to the first time we met and how he’d acted when he thought I was injured. He genuinely cared for me. He wanted me to live. It gave me a sense of security. Jensen wasn’t perfect, but I knew he’d do whatever it took to protect me and Christopher. This was the type of guy my parents would have been proud to have at the dinner table. He was also the opposite of what I would have gone for in my previous life. Instead of giving him a straight answer I decided to make it like a game. “Tonight I’m going to cook one of my father’s favorite meals for you. Did you happen to bring groceries up here with you, or have you been using what was in the cabinets?”

  “I brought a ton of canned goods. I picked up twenty pounds of chicken, ten of pork, and fifteen pounds of beef. I had no idea how much I would need for six months, so I let them tell me when I went to the butcher. By the way, it’s pretty darn expensive.”

  “That’s why most Alaskans hunt for their meat. Do you think the snow will stop today?”

  “I’m not real sure. The satellite has been out since you got here. I can’t get a signal to check the weather from my phone.”

  “I’m going to need some venison from my cabin. If we can’t get it there won’t be a fancy dinner.”

  He checked on the still hiding child, walking around and spotting him before he took off down the hall toward Jensen’s bedroom. I giggled and then heard him starting to speak. “If we can’t get there, I’ll prepare something. I know I said I bought lots of soup, but I used to cook during my shifts at the fire department. My grandmother was Italian, so I can pretty much make anything with a sauce.”

  “I usually eat spaghetti out of a can and call that my Italian meal for the week.”

  He shook his head. “Yeah, I’m definitely cooking tonight.” I watched as he broke the distance between us, walking me backwards into the bedroom. He didn’t stop until I felt the mattress forcing me to fall back on it. Jensen hovered over me, his strong arms flexed on either side of my shoulders. With his eyes fixed on mine, he lowered his mouth and brushed his lips over my cheek. His voice was soft as it spoke in my ear. “I never expected this, Amantha. When I woke up this morning and saw you lying beside me I felt like the luckiest man alive. Not a day has gone by where I didn’t think of you. To be here, and know what we made together, to be able to be a part of it, well it’s like a dream come true. Thank you for being his mother. You could have aborted and never told me about it, but you didn’t. I’m forever in your debt.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. I’m sure you’ll get tired of us.”

  “That’s not possible. You see, I’ve been searching for a new start for the past four years, and now I know why I never found it.”

  “Why?” I asked even though I knew the answer.

  “Because you were right here the whole time.”

  I traced my fingers over his lips as I spoke. “What if you decide you hate me?”

  “I suppose the makeup sex will get even better. I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing left for me anywhere else. Sure, I have siblings, but they have their own lives. They’re all settled. None of them want their broken brother hanging around moping. That’s just it. It’s how I know. When I’m with you I forget it all. I don’t hurt. Christopher is my new reason for living, but you’re the icing on the cake.”

  I giggled. “Icing? You make me sound appetizing.”

  “Darlin’, I could spend the whole damn day between your legs and it still wouldn’t be enough to get my fix.”

  “Be careful with your words, Jensen. I might have to fall in love with you.” I meant it as a joke, but I could tell from his expression I wasn’t too far from the truth.

  He fell onto the bed next to me and stared at the ceiling while rubbing his hands over his face. Little feet let me know our naked child was somewhere in the room with us, hopefully not peeing in a corner.

  “That word haunts me.”

  I leaned on my elbow and faced him. “It’s only natural to assume it could happen. We made a child together. There are much more crazy things that have happened Don’t you think?”

  He finally turned to face me. “Amantha, I’m not afraid of loving you. I’m afraid of losing you if it happens.”

  It made sense. He’d loved Alice with his whole heart and she’d ripped him to shreds, leaving him half the man he once was. It was only natural for him to assume if he opened his heart he’d get burned again. I didn’t know how to reassure him, since we were building something off of uncertainties to begin with. “I can’t promise you forever, but I guarantee right now. I think if we just go with it instead of worrying about society’s rules it will be better for us. I’ve never been one to follow the rules anyway. Besides, who says we can’t do this in the wrong order? I happen to like sleeping with you. Now that I’m over t
he bitchiness, I can appreciate what’s right in front of me. I’m tired of being alone, Jensen. I’m not saying I’m here because you are the only man who came looking. I don’t really know how this all came to be, but I wouldn’t trade it.” Just as I said it I heard a stream of liquid hitting something solid. I rolled my eyes and turned to see Christopher holding his little package and peeing his own puddle in the middle of hardwood floor.

  Jensen sat up and went to tend to him. “I’ve got this. Why don’t you go take a shower and meet us in the kitchen. We’re having pancakes instead of slop for breakfast this morning.”

  I shook my head and watched him crouched down to scold Christopher. “Hey, little guy. You can’t pee on the floor.” He took him by the hand. “Come on. I’m going to show you where the big boys pee.” When they left the room I remained in the same position. I’d have to clean up the soiled spot at some point, but what was more important was formally introducing my son to the only man he’d call Daddy.

  Chapter 19

  I have to admit, it was hard to adjust to family life again. I’d been a one woman show for quite a while before Christopher came along, and I guess since I didn’t have a choice with him it was easier to change my daily routines to cater to him. Living in the same house as Jensen was difficult, not because he’d done things wrong, but more because I knew if I fell in love with the idea it was possible for it all to be taken away.

  I hated dwelling on what couldn’t be changed, but in the back of my mind it was always a distant concern. I made it a point to agree with Jensen, even when I knew he was wrong, because I feared he’d change his mind and want to get as far away from me as possible.

  After the winter storm passed, and I didn’t have any real reason to stay with him except his personal request, I knew it was going to challenge us as individuals. Jensen was right about having things in common, even aside from our tragic losses. We’d both come from the same area and visited local places. We experienced harsh Pennsylvania winters, and all the activities spring and summer would provide for. We’d both spent vacations with our family on the sandy beaches of the ocean, and were brought up in a Christian environment. Despite being forced out of our comfortable confines, we’d both held onto the same morals.