“Yes.”
“Uterus is still closed for business until further notice.” I held up my tote bag. “I can’t properly traumatize the congress should it be open for business.”
“As I’m a firm believer both parents should be fully behind any new additions to a family, I’m of the opinion it’s your uterus to do with as you please.”
“I wish you the best of luck convincing my asshole parents of that.”
“As you’re waging war against California’s pox of politicians, it seems fair I should wage war against New York’s pox of politicians.”
“I think we’ll get along quite nicely. I’d call you by your last name, but I don’t even know what it is.”
“Edderson.”
“Rachel Edderson sounds better than Rachel Ambrose, so unless you have a complaint, I’m going to borrow your last name.”
“It’s not borrowing if you don’t have to give it back.”
“Is it theft, then?”
“We’re mutually agreeing my last name is better than yours, and that New York is going to be taken over by sensible people rather than adhering to dated traditions and worse individuals.”
“It’s going to add extra paperwork, isn’t it?”
“It will add one form, and it’s easy. I took the liberty of filling it out already, as I guessed you would not want to maintain your current family name. My parents are far superior, and they like you.”
“They need one of my doctors. I think I have extras.”
Terry sighed. “That’s another day of shopping, Rachel.”
“Hey! Why is that another day of shopping? I already have one. That’s not fair.”
“You just implied anyone who likes you is mentally ill. That is self-deprecation, and it counts as a major count, so the day of shopping will result in a ball gown.”
Damn it. “You’re ruthless, Terry.”
“You’ll also need a wedding dress for your official, public wedding. I’m going to be generous and let your first count of self-deprecation cover your shopping adventures searching for your wedding dress.”
“She has to go shopping when she says something negative about herself?” Ethan asked.
“Yes, Your Highness. She hates shopping, so it’s an excellent deterrent. Do feel free to join our efforts.”
“As I do not mind shopping, I’m quite pleased to help, Terry.”
How unfair. “You’re really ganging up on me, and you’re going to torture me with shopping.”
“Well, when you treat yourself kinder, you won’t have to go shopping as often.”
The elevator pinged and opened, and Ethan herded me inside. Before he could tap any of the buttons, the RPS agents piled in, too, trapping us in the corner.
“As often doesn’t sound like never.”
“It’s impossible to completely avoid shopping, Rachel.”
“It should be possible. Why can’t I send someone who likes to shop out shopping on my behalf?”
Vince pressed a button for the sixth floor. “His Royal Highness enjoys shopping. He’ll want to take you with him, as he dislikes shopping alone. In good news, he’ll take you shopping when he goes to purchase clothes.”
It took less than a minute for me to identify many advantages to attending shopping sessions when the goal was to observe Ethan pick new clothes for himself. “Including jeans?”
“Of course,” Vince replied.
“If I say nice things about myself, does that mean Ethan is forced to go shopping for jeans?”
“He can reward you however he sees fit. If you’d like to go shopping with him so he can buy new clothes, I’m sure you can convince him one way or another.”
“This is complicated,” I complained.
Ethan took my hand and squeezed. “It’ll be all right. An unfortunate reality is that you’ll have to do a lot of shopping in the near future. You’ll need to be dressed the part to take over New York, and however much I like your current outfits, you’ll need the right clothes to wage that war. But we’ll work at finding things you don’t mind wearing. A ball gown or two will be needed, but we’ll try to find something slinky and modern.”
“Why slinky and modern?”
“You’ll be gorgeous in something slinky and modern, and I’m being selfish.”
If I told him he needed to have his head examined, I’d be scolded and coerced into even more shopping. Before I could come up with an acceptable retort, the elevator halted, and the doors opened. The elevator opened to a white lobby with a security gate defended with a quartet of guards.
The RPS agents led the way, and Ethan kept a firm hold on my hand, pulling me along.
He halted near the gate. “She’s with me, and we’re skipping the security check. She’s a royal flameweaver, so if she wants to torch the entire building, she can. There’s nothing she can put in her bag that’s more dangerous than what she can do by snapping her fingers and wanting it to happen.”
The guards exchanged looks, shrugged, and waved us through.
Ethan herded me forward, releasing me so he could rest his hands on my shoulders and push me along. He directed me through a maze of hallways until he came to a pair of wooden double doors. He knocked before entering, and instead of wisely making my escape, I followed him inside.
Dr. Stanton sat on the conference table with a pair of tigers at her feet, and the animals were doing their best to forever mark her shoes as theirs. Without any sign she feared losing her hands, my doctor scratched behind their ears.
Ethan beelined for the tigers, got on his knees, and cuddled with them, both of which were bigger than he was and could eat him if they wanted.
They abandoned Dr. Stanton in favor of the lusty prince, and they rubbed their faces against his and chuffed.
“This explains a lot,” I admitted, contemplating chucking the rest of my sanity out the nearest window and joining Ethan on the floor to snuggle with oversized striped cats capable of eating me at their whim.
I considered the other option, which involved not snuggling with the oversized striped cats capable of eating me at their whim.
I only lived once, and I could think of worse ways to go than inviting myself to be eaten by a pair of tigers. I crouched beside Ethan and held out my hand to see if one of the animals wanted to abandon a hot prince for a hot mess of a princess.
The larger of the two decided I made an acceptable alternative, sniffed my hand, and rammed her head under my chin. I sat back hard, and the tiger decided my lap would make an excellent throne for her.
She weighed a lot, but I hugged her as I recognized the behavior similar to Snookums when she needed convincing I still loved her.
“Your patient is rather fearless,” a man said from somewhere deeper within the conference room. “I’m Dr. Timothy Elders, an animal empath and operator of a large cat rescue and conservatory. I would like to state that if these animals hadn’t been exposed to a great deal of animal empathy and had their base instincts essentially erased with magic, you two would be a memory and a meal right now. I’m also required to warn you that despite the magic that has dramatically altered them, they are still tigers, they eat like tigers, and they must be treated with respect.”
The tiger on my lap rested her chin on my shoulder and made soft huffing noises in my ear. I translated that to mean she was happy and I should keep hugging her. “I’m incapable of treating an animal with anything other than respect. I’m concerned my lap isn’t big enough for a tiger.”
“Your lap really isn’t big enough for her entire two hundred pounds. They’ve both been trained to minimize the weight they rest on someone, and they’re very careful around small animals and children. We’ll want to introduce your current pets to them so they can be taught who is part of the family unit, but you’ll find their intelligence is superior. As far as we can tell, the magic they’ve been exposed to has elevated them to almost human-like intellect. They’ve passed basic English tests, too.”
“Basic
English tests? They understand English?”
“Up to approximately a first-grade level. Basic commands are easy to teach them, they are aware of basic conversations, and they can do puzzle solving as well. They really enjoy jigsaw puzzles and will help you find pieces. This is part of why Dr. Stanton called me. You already talk to your rats, so having companions who can listen and understand would be beneficial, and they’ll learn how to help you moving forward.”
“Jigsaw puzzles?” I loved puzzles, although it’d been a long time since I’d been able to work with them. “I thought tigers couldn’t see the full color spectrum. At the risk of another shopping trip added to my schedule, can I avoid thinking about a pair of tigers monitoring my problems and being capable of addressing the situation?”
“I’ll leave your problems coping with your feline therapists to human therapists. Amisha and Endah have excellent color perception. It has come at a price of their night vision, which is somewhat inferior compared to mundane tigers. Their previous owner, while insane, did take exceptional care training them. As a result, they’re incapable of being released into the wild.”
“Why not? If they’re so smart? I’m not saying they’re not smart, but they’d be the queens of the jungle with their intelligence.” I stroked the tiger’s thick fur, and I dared to scratch her behind her ears. She rested the full weight of her head on my shoulder. “Is it because they enjoy human conversation?”
“That’s part of it.”
“I’m not a very socialized person, and I don’t want to hurt their feelings,” I admitted.
“If you’re worried you hurt their feelings, tell them you’re sorry and give them a hug. They’re unfortunately used to someone who would have violent displays of temper, and all they know how to do is forgive what they can’t change. There are a few behaviors you’ll have to be mindful of, but I don’t think this will be an issue.”
“What behaviors?”
“Their previous owner enjoyed beating them for any transgressions. If you’re going to raise your voice to them, I think you’ll find their reaction distressing. They’re like children. They want to please, and they don’t understand how to be any other way.”
My heart broke for both animals. “That’s not fair to them.”
“It’s not, but all we can do is give them the best home we can. They need people. I’ve been careful to avoid bonding with them. I can bond to any feline species. As such, they haven’t gotten the attention they crave, and while they’re very advanced, they don’t understand the reasons behind my distance. You won’t have such reservations, and it doesn’t matter what type of animal empathy you have or don’t have. The lack of a bond is better for them. They’ve been hurt enough. But, as a consequence, they’ll need a lot of attention. In a protectorate position and accompanying you at all times, they’ll get the attention they crave while you get the support you need. His Royal Highness is rather smitten with Endah, so I expect Amisha will be closer to you than her sister. I’ve never tested separation, but from what I’ve been told, His Royal Highness won’t object to keeping close to you to keep Endah happy. With a little work, you’ll be able to convince them to stay with one of you in a pair. I don’t hold much hope you’ll separate them without anxiety.”
“I’m not sure I want to know how a tiger reacts to separation anxiety,” I admitted. “Snookums and Flamingo used to squeak, cry, and paw at their cage whenever I got ready for work, but they learned I’d be coming back. It took a few months, though. That’s a really long time for a rat.”
“Amisha and Endah are five years old, so you should enjoy fifteen to twenty years with them. I doubt their conditioning will ever fade. They were imprinted from birth, and they really don’t understand some of the finer points of recovering from abuse. But, I’ve been wrong before. One day, you might wake up to find they don’t flinch if someone raises their voice. Only time will tell.”
“This is one of those weird therapy tactics, isn’t it? If I can help them overcome being abused by their former family, I can overcome mine, too.”
Dr. Stanton chuckled. “If logic could heal hearts, you’d be a changed woman overnight, but the heart isn’t logical.”
No kidding. I wanted to marry a lusty prince founded entirely on his acceptance of my face without a shield of makeup on it. No, not just acceptance. Desire.
“I’m a disaster waiting to happen, and I have no idea if I’m suitable wife or queen material, Ethan. I’m going to be a lot of work.”
“I’d rather go into a relationship knowing it will be a lot of work than an easy road that turns out not to be so easy. You’re worth the work, and nothing you say or do will change my mind. Well, there are a few things, but for some reason, I don’t feel you’re capable of doing such things.”
“I don’t cheat or steal, if that’s what you mean.”
“You’re a thief. You stole my heart. But that’s okay. I don’t want it back.”
As I had no idea how to handle his statement, I buried my face in the tiger’s fur and hoped for the best.
Ethan chuckled. “It’s okay, Rachel. See, you and Amisha are getting along great. She loves being hugged, and your first reaction to anything you don’t understand is to seek the comfort of someone warm and furry. I think this is going to work out great.”
“This situation is just wrong, Ethan. Normal people don’t have pet tigers. This is anything but normal. People are going to see me with tigers and think I’m crazy. Well, crazier than I already am.”
“Don’t worry about what others think. You need her, and she needs you. And Endah needs me—and you, too. Anyway, they’re not pet tigers. They’re part of the family. But we are going to have to take steps to make sure people don’t try to view tigers as fad pets, so I expect we’ll have to become educators about tigers, their care, and why Endah and Amisha are exceptions rather than the rule. As long as there are royals, there will be royals who will take exotic animals they shouldn’t own and own them.” Ethan shrugged and ruffled Endah’s fur. “We’re going to add to that problem, but at least we can make it clear what’s required to properly care for a tiger—and the risks associated with keeping them. I already got the lecture, so I’ll spare you from dealing with it. But if you’re willing to make it work for them, I’m willing to make it work for them.”
Was there any real choice in the matter?
They needed someone to save them. I needed someone to save me.
We’d figure it somehow.
“We’ll make it work. But how are we supposed to take tigers anywhere without people freaking? People are going to see tigers and freak, Ethan. People see my little rats on my shoulders and freak sometimes. They’re smaller than tigers!”
Ethan laughed. “Timothy has collars and leashes for them, and they’re trained to use them. They’ll have special harnesses made for them. We won’t need the leashes, not that they’d do us any good should they decide they’re doing something. When we go meet the congress, they’ll be collared but off their leashes, and they’ll keep you company.”
“Endah could keep you company. She likes you.”
“Another day. This is your time to shine, and nothing makes you shine quite as much as having two tigers standing beside you. And, should anyone get any foolish ideas, I want you to be protected.”
“I can protect myself.”
“I know you can, but I want to do everything I can to protect you, too. That meant sending Vince with you this morning. Now? It’s trusting two tigers who need us as much as you need them to protect you. And really? A pair of tigers is going to make just about anyone think twice. If they hesitate while debating whether to deal with you or our tigers, you’ll have time to deal with them. And you’re a lot of things, but you’re the kind to fight to protect others.”
“How do you know that?”
“You’re not afraid of doing difficult things. That, plus I believed every word you said about what you would do if anyone hurt your rats. I have no doubt that e
xtends to anyone or anything in your care. That’s also why I believe you’ll be an excellent queen. You care.”
I considered our conversation and sighed. No matter what I said, I’d end up with a full schedule of shopping. “Terry’s going to be relegated to a shopping assistant, and that’s not fair to him. The most you’re getting out of me is a general willingness to try.”
“That’s all I’ll ask for. Although I would definitely prefer if I walked out of congress today happily married.”
“Dr. Stanton, please find him a therapist to address this.”
“He doesn’t need a therapist for wanting to be happily married to you, Rachel.”
“Are you sure? He’s a hot prince, and all he’s getting out of this deal is a hot mess of a princess.”
Ethan grinned at me. “What can I say? I like a challenge. It just wouldn’t do for me to become bored. As a bonus, should you realize you’re happily married to me and there’s nothing wrong with me being happily married to you, we can discuss interesting things.”
“Terry said if I wanted to catch you, all I had to do was talk science to you, but he wouldn’t tell me which type of science.”
“I enjoy astrophysics, but honestly, you’re better educated than I am, so I have a lot of catching up to do. We’ll figure it out.”
“There’s going to be a lot of figuring things out,” I warned.
“That’s fine. If I wanted easy, I would’ve taken the first princess my parents tossed my way. But I didn’t want her—or any of them. I want you, and I’m happy spending the rest of our lives convincing you of that.”
Ethan would have his work cut out for him, but I held my peace. If he hadn’t clued in I was a disaster waiting to happen, I wouldn’t enlighten him.
I wanted a chance at forever, too.
Sixteen
Insanity is accurate enough.
I loathed the idea of facing California’s congress, but the politicians would bar Ethan from freedom if I didn’t make a stand. Accepting who I’d once been and becoming someone similar but not the same would test me.
Cold Flame Page 28
