Honey on Your Mind

by Maria Murnane

  I thought back to the days when I used to work in sports PR. At least there was no doubt that the prima donna athletes I had to deal with back then excelled at their chosen sport. I could only imagine how annoying it would have been to have to coddle them if they weren’t even good.

  My phone buzzed with a text message. “Hey, Kristina’s here. Can we let her in?”

  Tad stood up and headed toward the stairwell. “I’m on it.” Tad already knew Kristina because one of his coworkers represented her husband, the Knicks star Shane Kennedy. Shane was the face for the basketball shoes of a former client of mine from my days when I worked at a big marketing firm, but he was far from a prima donna. He had a degree from Duke, perfect grammar, and not a single tattoo. He and Jake had been roommates in college, and he had introduced us at a trade show. For that act alone, I would forever be grateful to him.

  As soon as Tad was out of earshot, I leaned toward Scotty. “I like him, Scotty. He’s not at all what I expected, but I really like him.”

  He leaned toward me. “What did you expect?”

  “I don’t know exactly, but not that. I would hang on to that if I were you.”

  He kissed my cheek. “Look at you, giving me relationship advice. You’re taking this Honey on Your Mind thing quite seriously.”

  “Apparently I am. But I’m off the clock right now. That was a freebie, my friend, just for you.”

  He laughed. “Well in that case, let me pay you back by pouring you some more wine. He stood up to retrieve the bottle, and I admired the sprawling roof deck.

  “I can’t believe you live here, Scotty. This place is unbelievable.”

  “I’m not complaining.”

  As he refilled my glass, I looked up at the sky. “You know, I have to say that I can’t believe I’m wearing a tank top and shorts at seven thirty. Can we just take a moment to acknowledge how amazing that is?”

  “It’s the end of summer, Waverly. It’s like this every night.”

  “I know, but I’d totally be wearing a ski jacket in San Francisco right now, maybe even gloves and a hat.”

  He held up his glass in a toast. “This is New York, my princess. As I’ve learned myself, there’s a reason people never leave. But just wait until the day comes when you’re literally sweating off your skin. You might change your tune then.”

  I jumped up when I saw Tad and Kristina walking toward us.

  “Kristina! How are you? It’s so great to see you.” I gave her a big hug and led her by the hand to the table. “You know Scotty Ryan, right?”

  She nodded. “Yes, of course, it’s nice to see you again.”

  Scotty handed her a glass of wine. “Most people call me Scott, but I’m sure you probably figured that, given that I’m in my forties.”

  Kristina laughed. “I did figure that. I’ve gotten used to Waverly’s nicknames.”

  I took a sip of my wine. “Hey now, don’t be hating on the nicknames.”

  Kristina sat down next to me. “So how are you? I can’t believe you’re living in New York now. This is so exciting.”

  My eyes got big. “I know, isn’t it? I have a brand new life! It may be the wine talking, plus the fact that it’s eighty degrees out, but I think I may grow to love this place as much as San Francisco.”

  “Wait until winter,” Scotty said. “Then we’ll talk.”

  Tad put his hand on Scotty’s knee. “You really need to get over the weather thing, babe.”

  “I reserve the right to complain about the weather, you reserve the right to wear those awful skinny jeans,” Scotty said. “That’s the deal.”

  Tad laughed and turned toward Kristina. “Shane’s in Boston and Minnesota this week, right? Word on the street is they’ve got a phenomenal squad this season.”

  She sipped her wine and half-smiled. “They say that every year, don’t they?”

  “Only the die-hard fans,” Tad said. “And the ticket sales department at Madison Square Garden, of course.”

  She laughed. “Of course. Actually, Shane is optimistic about some of the younger guys they brought over in that big trade in the off-season. He doesn’t want to retire until he gets his ring, but I just hope he’s not forty-five by the time that happens.”

  “Isn’t it crazy how retiring at forty-five is considered incredibly late in professional sports, while it’s unthinkable in pretty much everything else?” Tad said.

  I raised my glass. “Don’t forget Internet gazillionaires. Some of those guys can retire before they’re old enough to rent a car.”

  “Ah, good point,” Tad said, laughing.

  “And child actors. Can’t forget them,” I added.

  Kristina put her hand on my arm. “So Waverly, tell me more about your new gig. I’m excited to watch you on TV.”

  I leaned toward her but didn’t lower my voice. “I can’t get into any details because my, um, boss is in the immediate vicinity, but I’m hoping you’ll find it entertaining. My first segment is going to air next week.”

  “Next week? Already?”

  I nodded. “We begin taping on Friday.”

  “Wow, that was fast. Are you ready?”

  “Ready as I’ll ever be, and I can reshoot any mistakes until I get it right.” I looked at Scotty. “Right?”

  He nodded. “That’s the beauty of prerecorded television.”

  I looked back at Kristina. “How much can I screw that up? Plus Scotty’s going to be directing the crew, so he’ll make sure I don’t muck it all up.”

  She smiled and put her hand on my shoulder. “I love your new attitude. When I first met you, I guarantee you’d have been a basket case worrying about what could go wrong. It’s great to see you so relaxed and confident.”

  I took a sip of my wine. “Thanks. I do feel relaxed, although I’d say confident is a stretch. But we’ll see how relaxed I am when I have to appear on live TV.”

  “When will that be?”

  “Next week. After we get the first segment wrapped, Wendy’s going to bring me on as a guest to introduce Honey on Your Mind to the world. God knows how that’s going to go. She’s not exactly a fan of mine.”

  “You might want to tuck a can of mace in your purse that day,” Scotty said as he got up to check the barbecue.

  As soon as he walked away, Kristina leaned in and lowered her voice. “Are you carrying this new positive attitude over to your relationship with Jake?” Kristina was quite familiar with my unfortunate tendency to freak-out at inopportune moments, which had nearly ruined Jake and me more than once.

  I nodded and smiled. “So far, so good.” Then I quietly knocked my fist on the teak table. “Just to be safe, you know.”

  “That’s my girl.” She put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

  On the way home later, inspired by the warm glow of both the moonlight and a couple of goblets of sauvignon blanc, I left Jake a voice mail:

  “Hey you, it’s me. I’m missing you lots tonight and just wanted to say hi. Here’s a little something to make you miss me too.”

  I paused.

  “What did the grape say when it got stepped on?”

  I paused again.

  “It let out a little whine.”

  I must have woken up five hundred times the night before the taping. When my alarm finally went off at seven, I wondered how many total minutes I’d actually slept. I rushed through a shower, downed some coffee, and jumped onto the subway, mentally walking through the day ahead.

  The plan was to meet Scotty and the camera crew at Bryant Park, nicknamed the town square of Manhattan. I’d heard it was a popular—and extremely scenic—spot tucked behind the New York Public Library in Midtown. And I’d heard right. As soon as I surfaced out of the subway station, I was taken aback by how pretty it was. The lush green grass formed a square in the middle of the park and was flanked by tall trees on two sides, all smack in the middle of Manhattan. Bars and cafes lined the northern and southern ends, and there were dozens of white chairs and tables for peop
le to sit and enjoy it all.

  “There…she…is…Miss…A…mer…ic…a…” Scotty sang as I approached.

  “Am I late?” It looked like everyone else had arrived before me.

  “Not at all, you’re right on time.” He pointed to what looked like a director’s chair. “Why don’t you jump in that so our makeup wizard Tanya can pretty you up for the cameras, and then we’ll get started in a few minutes, OK?” He nodded his head toward a petite, pretty brunette standing next to the chair.

  Scotty saw me glance at the enormous chest of makeup sitting on the ground near her feet, then spoke again before I could utter a word. “I know what you’re probably thinking, but don’t be offended. We all need to wear a truckload of makeup to look pretty on TV.” He looked at Tanya. “Am I right?”

  She smiled and nodded. “You’re right.”

  He looked back at me. “See? There you have it from a professional. So are you ready for your debut?”

  “I think so. I took your suggestion to practice my questions in front of the mirror. I felt a little ridiculous doing it, but I think it helped.”

  “Wonderful. Just relax and have fun, and you’ll do great.”

  • • •

  “So what did you think?” It was a few hours later, and the camera crew was putting away its equipment. I felt like we’d gathered enough footage for two feature films, even though my segment would be edited down to approximately four minutes.

  “You’re a natural, I told you,” Scotty said.

  I clasped my hands together. “Really?”

  “Yep. I can’t wait to see the final product, but I already know it will be great.”

  “So we turn it over to the editing team now?”

  He nodded. “Exactly. They’re magicians in that little room and will turn it into exactly what you hoped it would be. When that’s done, they’ll give you a shout to come in and tape the voice-over, but otherwise, you can start thinking about your next segment.”

  “Wow, this really does move fast.”

  “Yep, that’s why it’s not worth stressing over any particular segment, because another one is always coming down the tracks right at you.”

  “Thanks so much for your help, Scotty, I really appreciate it.”

  “Hey it’s my job, sweetheart, or at least one of them.” He looked at his watch. “That reminds me, I need to jet, or I’m going to be late for an interview I have to do for the Today show.”

  “Now? You’re amazing. I can’t believe you’re producing Love, Wendy and reporting for the Today show too. You’re like the Anderson Cooper of entertainment TV.”

  “Perhaps, but he’s not as good looking as I am.”

  I laughed. “No one is.”

  • • •

  “So how did it go?”

  “It went well, or at least I think it did. I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I’d be. Knowing we could do as many takes as we needed to get it right took the pressure off a little.” I was walking down Montague Street a few blocks from my apartment later that afternoon, chatting with Andie on my cell phone.

  “How many people did you interview?”

  “You know, that’s a good question. I honestly have no idea. It seemed like dozens. It’s all kind of a blur, to be honest.”

  “So what happens now?”

  “Editing. They’ll take all the footage and turn it into something pretty. From what I’ve learned so far, it’s like writing an entire book, and then cutting it down to one chapter.”

  “That sounds like a lot of wasted work to me.”

  I laughed. “I fear you may be right. But I’m sure I’ll eventually learn how to be more efficient.”

  “So did you trip or fall or anything? Knock anyone over?”

  “Andie!”

  “I’m just asking. You know your track record.”

  “OK, you have a point. But for the record, no, I did not trip or fall, nor did I knock anyone over.”

  “It’s early. You have time.”

  “Thank you for that. I really needed to hear that right now.”

  She laughed. “When can I watch it on TV?”

  “Next week sometime. Wendy’s having me appear live on her show to introduce the segment.”

  “Live? As in en vivo?”

  “Live, as in en vivo.”

  “How do you feel about that?”

  “How do you think I feel about that?”

  “Knowing you, I’m guessing you’re planning not to eat twenty-four hours ahead of time because you’re afraid you might toss your cookies all over the stage.”

  I laughed. “It’s scary how well you know me.”

  “Hey listen, I’d love to keep chatting, but I need to run. I’m getting a wart removed.”

  “Thanks for that visual.”

  “Anytime. See ya.”

  I was about to toss my phone into my purse when I noticed a new text from Jake:

  About to get on plane but wanted to congratulate you on your first day in front of the bright lights. I bet you nailed it.

  Even in the midst of NBA madness, Jake hadn’t forgotten that I was hitting the streets today for the first time. I had to hand it to the guy. He knew how to make a girl smitten.

  • • •

  The week flew by in a flurry of shopping trips, subway rides, and people watching, which sometimes bordered on outright gawking because I couldn’t always bring myself to look away. So much of life played out on the city streets here, and I was absolutely fascinated. I was doing my best not to get lost on foot or enter a train headed in the wrong direction, but so far I was failing on some front at least once a day.

  Finally, it was time for my big debut. I was standing, hidden from view, on the edge of the Love, Wendy stage, trying not to shake. In a few minutes, Wendy would introduce me to the studio audience for the live show being broadcast in front of millions of people. She was in the middle of interviewing the latest YouTube sensation, some farmer from Arkansas who had trained his cat to ride one of his pigs, with a little saddle and everything. The cat, currently perched on the man’s head, even wore a tiny cowboy hat. At least he hadn’t brought the pig with him.

  “Come on, come on,” I said under my breath, afraid I would lose what little nerve I had if I had to wait any longer. After the way Wendy had ambushed me the last time we’d been on live TV together, I could only imagine what she had in store for me now. I pulled my phone out of my purse and looked at a text Jake had sent me the night before, after the basketball game. Because of our schedules, it had been a couple of days since we’d been able to connect on the phone, but he knew today was the day:

  I have no doubt you’re freaking out, but don’t worry, you’ll be great. You always are. Love you.

  I smiled into the little screen. I love you too.

  When I came out of my mini daydream, Wendy was thanking the cat guy. Then she cut to a commercial break.

  The director looked at me. “OK, Waverly, you’re up next.”

  I set my purse down and tried to smile, but my lips felt frozen, so I’m not sure how successful I was. “Thanks,” I eked out weakly.

  A few minutes later, the director cued the audience to applaud. Then he looked at me again and gestured for me to approach the side of the stage.

  I nodded and took a step. Then out of the blue, I felt dizzy, and my stomach started lurching all over the place.

  I froze, praying I wouldn’t faint.

  Or throw up.

  Or both.

  Holy freaking frick.

  I took a deep breath and willed my legs to keep moving.

  You can do this, Waverly.

  As I neared the stage entrance, Wendy looked at the camera and flashed her beauty pageant smile. I froze again, waiting for my final cue.

  “Ladies and gentleman, I’m delighted to introduce a faaabulous new addition to our show, a fun segment called Honey on Your Mind, hosted by a faaabulous woman named Waverly Bryson from San Francisco. I had the pleasure of meeting Waver
ly back in February when we appeared on the Today show together, and she recently agreed to move across the country just to join the Love, Wendy family! So let’s give her a warm round of applause, shall we?”

  She stood up and clapped, and the audience cheered along with her. I stood in my tracks until I heard the director say Go. Thank God, my legs obeyed.

  Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out!

  Hoping it wasn’t obvious how rattled I was, I smiled and waved at the audience as I walked gingerly across the stage toward Wendy. She was still standing up in front of her plush couch, and when I reached her she air kissed me on both cheeks, something she’d never done before. I sat down next to her and smoothed my dress, then exhaled and interlaced my hands on my lap.

  She smiled brightly, and for the first time ever, she actually looked interested in me.

  “Waverly, I can’t tell you how thrilled I am that you decided to join us. I just know our viewers are going to adooore Honey on Your Mind.”

  I smiled back. “Thanks, Wendy, I’m honored and excited to be a part of the show.”

  She gestured toward the audience. “Before we unveil your first segment, can you give us a little background on how Honey on Your Mind came to be? I think it’s such a fun story.” I’d never seen her act so friendly, at least to me.

  Maybe this won’t be so bad. I smiled back at her and shifted in my seat. “Well, it all started with a line of greeting cards I created called Honey Notes. They’re all-occasion cards for women to send each other, just for fun.”

  “Can you give us an example?”

  I nodded. “Sure. One of my favorites says, THEY SAY LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE? on the front, and the inside says, HONEY, TOSS IT IN WITH GIRLFRIENDS AND WINE, AND YOU’VE FOUND THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH.”

  “Oh, that’s sweet,” Wendy purred to the audience. “Isn’t that sweet?” The audience ahhhd.

  I sat up a bit straighter “But they’re not all sentimental.”

  “They’re not?”

  I shook my head. “Nope, some of them are funny. For example, a popular one says, SO, HE DUMPED YOU? on the front, and the inside says, HONEY, HE WAS UGLY ANYWAY.

  Wendy laughed, and then turned to the audience. “Who hasn’t been there?” The audience erupted in laughter, and I wasn’t sure if they were laughing at the Honey Note or Wendy’s comment. But they sure seemed to be having fun, so I didn’t care. Laughter was a whole lot better than silence.