Beautiful Lies rj-1
Page 35
I don’t know what happened that night when he brought Jessie to my parents. I don’t know what his involvement was, if Teresa Stone’s murder was an accident. I may never know if my father was responsible for the murder of my mother. Whether the terrible legacy of abuse and murder Max spent his whole life trying to flee had caught up with him just the same. I remember often what he said to me that last night. Ridley, you might be the only good I’ve ever done. He was in so much pain. The demons he’d battled all his life had come for him. Later that night, they took him home.
The Dateline people called me, too, but I, of course, don’t do interviews. Not anymore. It will take all my courage and all my strength to talk about the things that have happened during Christian Luna’s murder trial when the time comes.
There are no villains here. Not really. If you think about it, there are no true villains in life. Only in fiction do we see distilled versions of good and bad. In life, there are only good and bad choices. And sometimes even choices can be judged only by their consequences. And sometimes not even then. I guess if you want to see Zack as a villain or Esme, you can. Maybe you think Max is the villain. But I think they all believed that they were doing right, right for the children, right for one another, right for me. No matter how wrongheaded their thinking was, it counts for something, doesn’t it?
What about all those children, all those other Project Rescue babies? I heard that a hotline has been established for people who suspect that they might have been one of those children. But my suspicion is that most of them don’t have the first clue about what has happened to them. I suspect that not many would want to know. I can’t imagine many parents stepping forward to say they’d obtained their child through an illegal adoption, if they weren’t forced to do so. But who knows, the truth can be a powerful lure to the shadow side. Maybe the universe will lead some of those children kicking and screaming to their truth, as it did for me.
From the moment Jake and I stood standing in his apartment, our hands locked, we have been allies. Yes, there have been lies and moments of doubt between us. And though those moments have been more extreme for us than for others in a new relationship, I don’t see it as being all that different. Don’t we reveal ourselves slowly, in parts, to the people we are starting to love? Don’t we pick and choose what we want them to see and when? Aren’t we afraid to be judged or rejected because of who we are, at least a little at first, until we grow more intimate, feel safer beneath each other’s gazes? Now Jake and I have a policy of total honesty between us. And that’s not always easy (as in, “Do these jeans make me look fat?”), but it’s always real. And I’ll take real any day over lies, no matter how they glimmer and shine, no matter how beautiful.
Acknowledgments
My most heartfelt thanks to…
…my agent, Elaine Markson, and her assistant, Gary Johnson, for their unfailing support and enthusiasm. They are absolutely my lifeline in this business. I can’t imagine where I’d be without them.
…Sally Kim for her wonderful and loving editing and for giving me such a beautiful home at Shaye Areheart Books. What a total love connection!
…Shaye Areheart for welcoming me with her warm and open arms. I feel so blessed to be a part of her universe, as it is infused with light and benevolence. Also, my thanks to Jenny Frost, Tina Constable, Philip Patrick, and Doug Jones for their tremendous energy, enthusiasm, and support. With them on my side, I feel like anything is possible.
…Whitney Cookman, Jacqui LeBow, Kim Shannon, Jill Flaxman, Kira Stevens, Tara Gilbride, Darlene Faster, Linda Kaplan, Karin Shulze, Alex Lencicki, and everyone in the Shaye Areheart Books/Crown family who made my first visit seem like a homecoming. What a privilege to work with such a bright and talented team of people.
…the wonderful network of family and friends with which I have been blessed, most especially: my husband, Jeffrey, for way too many reasons to list here; Heather Mikesell for her tireless reading of drafts, endless enthusiasm, and invaluable input; and my parents, Joe and Virginia, for their unflagging cheerleading and shameless bragging.
About the Author
LISA UNGER lives in Florida with her husband and is at work on her next novel.
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Lisa Unger
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