Maggie's Refrain

by Marcia Ware

  “To be completely honest…yes, at first,” Matthew said quietly. “But we’ve known Maggie since she was a teenager. We adore her. There’s no way this is about a Black and White thing.”

  “Of course not,” Janice chimed in. “This goes so much deeper than race. We are in an extraordinary set of circumstances here.”

  “None of this was planned…” Matthew continued. “We didn’t plan to lose Grace. We didn’t plan for Joe and Maggie to develop feelings for one another. But if we were going to handpick someone for him, we couldn’t find anyone more perfect than your daughter. You raised an amazing young woman that we have loved forever. And as strange as all of this seems, the more we think about it…”

  “The more it makes sense,” Matthew and Janice said together.

  “Dexter,” Lenore said as she rose from the table. “I know you love Maggie, but you’ve given that child some hard years.”

  “I’ve done everything I could for that girl…” Dexter interrupted.

  Lenore turned to face her husband. “Everything but accept her for who she is.”

  Dexter raised his index finger to make a pointed protest, but Lenore would not be deterred. “No, old man,” she said as she approached him. “You and Maggie have gone around and around about the kind of career she should have, the man she should marry…even the size she should be.”

  “Lennie,” Dexter said, invoking a rarely-used nickname. “I just wanted her to be happy.”

  “As happy as she was with Richard?”

  “But Richard…”

  “But Richard what? That girl went through years of misery…years! Sacrificing her own happiness and self worth to be in a Dexter-approved relationship. She was miserable! And when she tried to strike out on her own, he humiliated her. And you supported him! No wonder she hardly ever comes home. Why should she, when the one place she feels accepted and loved is in Joe Buchannan’s house?”

  Silence ruled the room for an indeterminate amount of time before Janice stepped in to assist her friend’s argument. “Maggie didn’t fall for Joe because he represented some sort of life she wanted…”

  “She fell for Joe because he gave her what she needed.” Lenore said. “Peace of mind. Shame on you for not being able to see that for your own child.”

  Just then, a rare occurrence: Dexter made a startling admission as he sank back down on the couch.

  “I…I am sorry. I was wrong.”

  A collective sigh emanated from everyone in the room.

  “So let’s just talk to Joe, and Maggie, okay?” Lenore said. “We need to let them know that we’re on their side.”

  “That’s good to know.”

  The four adults turned to see Joe standing in the doorway.

  “Hey, son,” Matthew said. “Come on in. We wanna talk to you.”

  Joe entered the room with a great deal of trepidation. Not entirely sure of Dexter’s feelings, he created a safe distance from him on the opposite side of the room.

  “Mr. West,” Joe began.

  Dexter held up his hands to stop him. “Son, it’s okay. We’ve been talking to Maggie from the road. She’s really happy with her appearances and concerts. We could tell, however that something was missing.”

  “Turns out, that something was you,” Lenore added.

  “I don’t even know if I have a shot with her now,” Joe said. “It feels like her life is taking off, and she’s leaving the rest of us behind.”

  Dexter rose from his place on the sofa, walked over to Joe and extended his hand. Joe stood and shook it.

  “There’s only one way to find out,” Dexter said.

  Chapter 14

  “Okay troops, time to eat,” Joe said as he scooped potato salad onto paper plates. The warm spring evening was practically an engraved invitation for a barbecue. With Matthew and Dexter at the grill, and their wives readying the side dishes on the West’s patio, all that was left to do was corral the children who were playing in the back yard.

  Stumbling over one another like puppies, the twins elbowed their way to their tables, while Gwen took her usual place as far away from them as possible.

  As burgers and hot dogs were distributed and grace was said over the meal, Joe and Matthew locked eyes; the latter nodding as if to say, Now’s the time.

  “Hey gang, we wanna talk with you about something,” Joe said, taking advantage of the rare moment of peace that occurred when the children’s mouths were full. He looked at Gwen, who knew immediately what the topic was going to be. She stopped just short of taking a bite of her sandwich to smile at her father. Joe returned her look with one of his own.

  “Wassup, Daddy?” Matty said, his mouth full of half chewed burger.

  The table was silent for a moment as Joe girded up his resolve. He cleared his throat before starting. “Well, I wanted to talk to you about Aunt Maggie.”

  “When’s she coming home?” Mary Margaret asked.

  “You miss her, huh?” was Joe’s response.

  “Sure do,” said Matty, finally swallowing his food. “You miss her too, Dad?”

  “Yes. Yes I do. How would you feel about her coming to stay with us?”

  Mary Margaret’s face brightened considerably. “You mean like forever?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Like a…mom, forever?”

  Joe and the other adults exchanged looks of astonishment. “I can’t get anything past you guys, can I?”

  “Nope,” said Matty, his face awash in potato salad, only partially aware of what was going on.

  “Anyway,” Janice said as she wiped her grandson’s mouth clean, “I think what your dad is trying to say…”

  “…what I’m trying to say is that I think I want to…m-marry her and have her come to live with us.”

  The twins ceased their activity. First looking at one another, they then turned to face their sister. Gwen’s eyes were still bolted on her father’s; her smile still securely in place.

  She nodded ever so slightly, urging him on.

  “What would you think about that?”

  “I think it would be awesome,” said Mary Margaret instantly.

  Matty seemed more circumspect. Deeply considering the question as he began to take another bite of burger, he stopped and asked, “Wait…if Aunt Maggie becomes our new mom…does that mean that they aren’t my grandma and grandpa anymore?” pointing at the Hammonds.

  “No,” all the adults said together. “Absolutely not!”

  “We’ll always be Grandma and Grandpa,” Matthew said.

  “But now, you will be the most blessed little children in the world, because…” Lenore began.

  “Because you will have three sets of grandparents,” Dexter said. Still looking at the children, Lenore smiled with genuine affection and took her husband’s hand.

  Matty carefully considered this new arrangement. As if his approval was what stood between Joe and his future, the entire table rested their gaze on the boy. His concentration evident, he placed the rest of his burger on his plate. “Grandma and Grandpa West,” he said quietly, as if trying it on for size.

  “How does that sound?”

  “I like it,” he said definitively. “More grandparents, more presents on my birthday!” he said, shrugging his shoulders as if this were the only logical conclusion.

  Everyone at the table laughed aloud. Everyone except Joe, who simply smiled sweetly at his precocious offspring, praying silently that he could convince Maggie just as easily.

  Chapter 15

  While a song played on her car radio, Sissy’s conversation with her mother played in her head. It started as innocently as any other call. But as Janice began to broach the subject of Joe and the children, Sissy realized this wasn’t going to be an easy, lighthearted exchange.

  “Sissy…” Janice drew out her name slowly.

  “What, Mother?”

  “What is it you think you’re doing?

  “Again, Mother, I have no idea to what you are referring.” Sis
sy’s tone was clipped and defensive.

  “I think you do.”

  After several seconds of silence, Janice continued. “Just stop this, honey. Please. Joe is not a prize to be won, and Maggie is not the enemy.”

  Sissy had taken all that she could. Like a dam beginning to burst, she could feel a pressure rise within her.

  “But she just swept liked she owned the place,” Sissy complained. “Sh-she just came in and took over - the kids, the house, Joe…”

  “Oh Sis, she did not and you know it.”

  “She practically commandeered Gracie’s funeral arrangements…even decided what Grace would be buried in!”

  “Sissy, she was the only one who had the presence of mind to make those decisions during that time. We were a mess, and Maggie was Grace’s best friend…”

  “But this is my family…and she has no right…” Sissy spat. Her breathing was shallow and rapid. Her free hand was balled into a fist, softly pounding into the center of her chest. “This was mine…not hers!”

  “Sissy, do you even hear yourself? What is happening to you? What are you even talking about?”

  “Why are you sticking up for her? Don’t you see she’s invaded our lives? With her boyfriend drama and her fat issues…ugh! All her little goody-goody ways… ‘Please Mom Hammond, let me help you with this. Here, Dad Hammond, I’ll take care of that. Oh kids, I’ll feed you and help you with your homework.’ You couldn’t see it, but I could!”

  Sissy’s tenor was brutal and mocking, and from Janice’s perspective, completely unhinged.

  “All of that was a front, Mother. Her only goal was to become the next Mrs. Joe Buchanan!”

  Janice was dumbfounded. “Sissy,” was all she could say.

  “There is no way that Nashville society would accept them as a couple. I don’t care what year it is, or how far we’ve supposedly come; she’s completely unworthy of him! Can you actually tell me you can see Joe walking into a society function with a woman who is little more than his big ol’ maid?”

  The heart of the matter was beginning to surface, and it made Janice sick. “Sissy! I do not believe this is coming from you. I did not raise my child to speak like this. Stop. stop it, now!”

  But Sissy couldn’t stop. “Why do you think I worked so to get her out on the road? I don’t care about her or her lousy singing career. I needed to get her away from Joe. With her out of the picture, he was able to see me! I needed a chance for him to see me…to see me as something other than…”

  “His sister?”

  Those two words stopped Sissy cold. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her face was flushed. She barely recognized herself.

  “But I’m not his sister,” she said quietly.

  “To him, sweetheart, you are,” Janice said with compassion. “But Joe and the children are not a birthright for you to inherit.”

  Sissy began to protest, but Janice continued. “Honey, you left town the second you were old enough. And Maggie took her place in Grace’s life because it’s what was meant to happen. Grace, Joe and the kids - they were her world. Then when Gracie left us, well, Maggie didn’t set out to be the next Mrs. Buchanan, that’s for sure. I would bet my life on that. But she truly cared for all of us. That care came from genuine concern. And from that concern grew a friendship. And from that friendship came the sisterhood that existed between Maggie and Grace. Nothing was forced then, and nothing’s being forced now.”

  Sissy slowly sat down on her sofa. “I remember the first time Gracie brought him home. He was sweet and kind. So attentive…”

  “And he was completely in love with Grace. Honey, he’s exceedingly handsome; and more important, he’s a good man with a sweet nature. That’s why everyone loves him.”

  “But I love him mom…”

  “No, sweetie, you don’t. You love the life you think you’re supposed to have with him. You thought that this would be some seamless transition to which you were entitled. But you can’t force yourself into this situation by badmouthing Maggie or going to extremes to get her out of the way. You and Joe? It’s totally wrong, and you know it.”

  Janice could hear her daughter begin to cry softly. “Oh Sis,” she said. “I’m so sorry that you’re hurting. I’m sorry that you are lonely. But trying to take Grace’s place isn’t the way to banish those feelings.”

  Sissy curled herself into the corner of her sofa and cried a little harder.

  “I know you feel as though everything came easier for Grace. But I’m going to tell you something you might find hard to believe,” Janice said.

  “Okay, what?” Sissy said, sniffing.

  “Grace was often jealous of you.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “It’s true. Your talents took you around the world; she had to hold down the fort with her family. And while she loved being a wife and mother, you’ve got to know that watching the world evolve around her was agony.”

  “We talked all the time, but she never said anything close to that.”

  “Why would she? She knew that she was where she was meant to be, sweetie. She loved her husband and her kids with everything that was in her, and her job was to get them on their way. Despite her disappointment over some unfulfilled dreams, well…Grace took charge of her life, and she adjusted her story. Or at least she started to…” Janice’s voice trailed off at the reality of Grace’s passing.

  “And on top of everything else, she’s not here anymore. But you are. Celebrate all that you were created to be, and stop settling for something just because it looks good on the surface. So your life isn’t what you had planned. Take some time to adjust your story; really think about what you want and need; not how you can be a continuation of your sister’s life.”

  Janice prayed that her words had taken root before attempting to lighten the air. “Hey, little girl,” she said cheerfully. “Let’s get a silver lining going here.”

  Sissy scoffed as she wiped away her tears. “Oh I can’t wait to hear this,” she said.

  “Look at the life you’ve created for yourself,” Janice said. “You’re young, you’re beautiful, and you’re smart and accomplished. What man wouldn’t be interested in that?”

  “Oh mom…”

  “Don’t ‘oh mom’ me. You probably have several dozen guys chomping at the bit to take you out, but you’ve been so single-minded in your devotion to Joe, you didn’t even know any of them were alive.”

  Sissy took a moment to consider the idea. “I feel so lost. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Yes you do, honey. Live your life. Follow your path. I would bet my life on this too…”

  “You are playing fast and loose with your life with all this betting, you know,” said Sissy, trying to lighten things for herself.

  Janice chuckled. “Okay, not so much with the betting. More like, I have faith; faith that the God who created you with all these gifts, talents and abilities, didn’t do it for you to take on this world alone. He’s got someone for you - someone far more perfect than you could ever contrive for yourself. And in the end, you’ll be at peace.”

  The song on the radio came to an end. Sissy turned off the car and gripped the steering wheel with both hands. Leaning forward, she rested her forehead on it and exhaled simultaneously.

  After a moment’s contemplation, she checked her reflection in the mirror, smoothed a tear-smudged portion of mascara under her eye, and exited her car. As she walked up the footpath to Joe’s back door, she took a deep breath and did something she’d never done in all the years she’d visited his house.

  She knocked.

  “Sissy.” Joe said with a look of bewilderment. “Did you lose your key?”

  He leaned on the frame of the doorway, a dish towel over his shoulder. Somewhere in the distance, a small smack could be heard. “Mary Margaret!” he yelled over his shoulder. Quickly turning his attention to Sissy, he motioned for her to enter. “Sorry, hon, come on in.”

  Sissy sheepishly e
ntered the door as Mary Margaret made her way to the kitchen. With a look of utter innocence she asked, “What’s up, Daddy?”

  “What’s up, darling daughter of mine, is that slap I just heard. What did I tell you about slapping your brother?”

  Mary Margaret took a moment to ponder the question. “It’s not good?”

  Joe’s eyes widened in amazement at her response. “No, it’s not good.” He turned to look at Sissy with an expression that said, “Are you kidding me?”

  Sissy’s response was a tentative smile. She could remember a time not so long ago, when being at the center of a domestic moment like this was exactly where she wanted to be.

  “Please go to your room,” Joe said. “I will deal with you later.”

  “But Dad, he started it!”

  “He usually does, but it’s always the second kid - namely you - who gets caught. I’ll take care of him, but you, off to the room, now!”

  Frustrated, Mary Margaret slowly ascended the stairs. “Sissy, please let me take your coat, I’m so sorry,” Joe said, heading toward the doorway that lead out of the kitchen to the rest of the house. “As you can see, it’s just another night at the zoo. If you could give me a minute and let me punish my children, I promise you’ll have my undivided attention. Matty!” he shouted around the corner.

  “Joe, wait,” Sissy said, touching him lightly on the arm before immediately pulling it away. Joe stopped momentarily as Matty entered the room. Holding him firmly by the shoulder, Joe looked at Sissy and asked, “Sis, what’s wrong?”

  Hoping for a reprieve from obvious punishment, Matty looked up at his father. “Room. Now.” Joe said, dashing that hope almost instantly. Without argument, Matty made his way to his room.

  Sissy retrieved her keys and an envelope from her purse. Removing the key that belonged to the Buchanan home, she placed it on the table. “Here,” she said, pushing both the key and the envelope slightly toward him.

  Distracted by this latest drama with the twins, Joe was confused. “What on earth is all this?”