Maggie's Refrain

by Marcia Ware

  “Yep,” Maggie said. “The one that will go down as The Great Turkey Day debacle.”

  Grace laughed, “Yeah, probably one of the worst food fights in our family’s history.”

  Maggie’s eyes narrowed in concern. “Doesn’t it seem strange to you that this family has actually had other food fights to compare it to?”

  “Seriously?” Grace smirked. “Have we just met?”

  “Good point. Well, who started it anyway? I honestly can’t remember”

  “Can’t remember? Matty, of course.”

  “He starts so many fights, they all just kinda blur together,” said Maggie.

  “Let me see,” Grace said thoughtfully. “If memory serves, M&M tried to tell him what to do. Again.”

  “Naturally.”

  “Then he got ticked off and flung a spoonful of mashed potatoes in her hair.”

  Maggie’s eyes widened at the memory. “Oh, that’s right, and M&M retaliated, but missed and got it on Joe…”

  “Who missed, and somehow got it on Dad and Gwennie at the same time…”

  “Then it was total bedlam…”

  “Food Fight!” the two women said in unison before laughing aloud.

  “If you look closely,” Grace said, pointing at the photo on the headstone, “You can just make out a trace of potato in M&M’s hair.”

  “And I’m pretty sure that’s gravy on your sweater,” Maggie said on closer inspection.

  “You know what? You’re right!”

  Grace and Maggie stood a few feet apart, silently regarding one another for a few seconds before Grace broke the through the quiet.

  “Well, look at you,” she said as she walked toward Maggie. “Gettin’ married. Anyone I know?” she asked sarcastically.

  “Ha ha ha.”

  The women hugged. Suddenly, Grace pushed back. “Hey. You’re stealin’ my man. You know, if I weren’t dead, I’d totally kill you.”

  “Do they have you doing stand up in the afterlife?” Maggie asked. “If so, I can’t imagine how excruciating that must be for everyone. Your jokes were bad enough down here.”

  “I try to keep things entertaining. Here, come sit with me.”

  They returned to the bench as Grace took Maggie’s hands in her own. For the briefest of moments, they were 16 again; sharing secrets, talking over problems, cracking more bad jokes. The feeling was wonderfully overwhelming.

  “I can’t stay long,” Maggie said. “I just needed this minute with you. I miss you so much.”

  “I miss you too. But I’m so proud. So very, very proud of you, Mags.”

  “None of this seems right without you,” Maggie said before remembering the fact that she was dressed to wed her dead friend’s husband. “Well, uh…you know what I mean.”

  Grace laughed. “Yes, I do. But I’m always near. Every time you look into our children’s eyes - you’ll see me. None of this was accidental. None of it caught God by surprise. Everything you’ve been through, both good and bad, it was all part of a greater plan. I know that Joe and the rug rats are in safe capable hands - the Lord’s…and yours.”

  Maggie reached up and cupped Grace’s cheek in her hand as Grace went on. “Mom and Dad will be fine. Sissy will be more than fine. Even Richard will be okay.”

  “Not that anyone cares,” Maggie said ruefully.

  “Aw, you care,” Grace said. “That’s what makes you wonderful. Regardless of his treatment of you, you still care about him - as a person. Even though he’s no longer your responsibility, you do pray for him.”

  “How do you know I pray for…? Oh, yeah never mind.”

  “You should know that that kind of stuff does not go unnoticed in my neck of the woods,” Grace said. “But you don’t need to concern yourself with any of that. Today is about you.”

  Grace pulled Maggie up off of the bench and, fingers intertwined, they stretched their arms out wide. “Thank you Mags. Thank you for taking care of things. Thank you for being the best friend I’ve ever had in life, and even in death. Thank you for loving my family the way that you have.”

  “Oh, I miss you,” Maggie cried as the two of them embraced once again.

  “You’ll see me again. Not any time soon, mind you.”

  “Thank heavens for that…I mean…”

  “I know what you meant, and you’re right. You’re at the start of an amazing journey. Relish it. All of it. You’re going to be celebrated all over the world. Finally! But don’t miss the little moments that make life grand. That is where Joe and the kids come in. Love them with everything you have, as you always do. That will be more fulfilling than anything else.”

  “Family is everything,” Maggie said knowingly.

  “Family is everything,” Grace repeated.

  Grace took a long look at the world she’d left behind. “I’m not really supposed to miss anything. This is my Eternal Reward, after all,” she said, gesturing with a flourish. “But if there were anything I’d love to experience again, it would be your friendship.”

  “Just something to which we can both look forward,” Maggie said.

  “But not any time soon,” they said together again as they laughed.

  A tear rolled down Maggie’s cheek, releasing her from her imagination. She rose from the bench, exhausted and exhilarated from the supernatural conversation. She bent down, pressed her fingers to her lips, and then gently touched Grace’s image. “Thank you sweetie,” she whispered. “I love you.” She then picked up a rock and placed it on top of the stone.

  “Why did you leave that rock there?”

  Although startled at the sound of her father’s voice, Maggie didn’t jump. She simply looked to see him standing in the spot where her heart saw Grace just a few moments before.

  With the cab driver paid and kindly dismissed, Dexter walked over to Maggie. Looping her arm through his, she began her explanation.

  “Our road manager was raised Jewish. He said that his mother told him, ‘flowers die, rocks do not…so it’s the most permanent way to let the departed know you were there.”

  “Gotcha,” Dexter said.

  “Are we late,” Maggie asked. “Wait, more important…how did you know I was here?”

  “You might not believe this, but I know you better than you think I do.”

  Maggie blushed. “No, I believe it. I’m sorry I went AWOL. I woke up this morning with this feeling in my gut that if I didn’t come here, things wouldn’t feel complete. I needed this trip to…I don’t know…bring everything full circle, I guess.”

  “Everything comes full circle…” Dexter started to sing. Maggie was astounded that her father knew her song. He continued in a rich baritone as he walked her back to his car.

  “It falls together in the end

  The unshakable truth that save my life

  Is that you are my best friend…

  “Daddy…” Maggie said, her shock deepening as he sang.

  “You really don’t think I know you, do you, child?” he said, helping her in the car. He dusted the grass from the edges of her gown as he piled the yards of satin and tulle around her.

  “I guess not,” she said, ashamed. “I’m sorry.”

  “My daughter has a song on the County, Pop and R&B charts for a couple of months, and that song won her a Grammy Award? C’mon! It’s something a dad doesn’t tend to miss, if he’s a good dad.”

  “You are, Daddy. I’m really sorry.”

  Dexter rounded the car quickly to respond to his daughter. “No baby. I’m sorry,” he said as he settled into the driver’s seat. “I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to realize what Matt and Janice, even your own mother understood. Our children need to be celebrated. When they’ve chosen their road, it might not jive with what we want, but if it’s worthwhile…”

  He started the car, but sat thoughtfully before driving away. “One thing I remember about Grace - she was one of the happiest children I’d ever seen. Everyone was drawn to her. And you.”

  “Moth
to flame,” Maggie said, smiling. “I know.”

  “But at the heart of that happiness was the fact that Matt and Janice really let her run free with her art. If she had a dream, they’d watch her pursue it, and she had great success in her life. They never dismissed her, or wrote her off, or…tried to change her. They loved her for who she was…” His voice broke as the revelations continued.

  “Dad,” Maggie said softly. She took his hand and squeezed. “It’s okay. We’re here now. And it’s okay. Now quit crying or you’re gonna make me cry!”

  Dexter laughed. “Just let me get this out, okay? I celebrate you, Mary Margaret West. I do, my baby. There was never a time that I didn’t support you. I just know what kind of world it is. And I didn’t want to see that world swallow you up. But in being practical, I guess, well, I lost sight of things. I was trying to protect you, but I ended up making you feel less than. And for that, my sweet girl, I am eternally sorry.”

  Maggie was deeply moved. Beyond words. Pulling the borrowed and blue handkerchief from her purse, she dabbed at her eyes. “Thank you Daddy.”

  The large black sedan pulled out onto Hillsboro Pike and headed north to Nashville. His judicial sternness and fatherly concern returned. “Now, call your mother and tell her we’re on our way.”

  “Yes sir,” she said.

  Chapter 19

  Dexter pulled his car into the south alley alongside the Ryman. At the end of the alley was Fourth Street, where a steady stream of invitation-only wedding guests, tourists and the occasional street person could be seen. Downtown Nashville had been brought to a near-standstill to accommodate the limousines depositing stars of every stripe and genre onto the red carpet that Deana insisted lead up to the entrance of the venue. The flurry of activity was sufficient enough distraction for Maggie to slip in under the public radar.

  “There you go, honey. Safe and sound,” Dexter said.

  “Talk about insanity,” Maggie said in disbelief. “Now you know, none of this is me, right? Had it been up to me and Joe, we’d be on a beach somewhere with just you guys, the kids, and our pastors.”

  “Followed by a barbecue and really bad volleyball,” added Dexter.

  They laughed.

  “Amen to that!” she said. “Well, it’s a beautiful day, so let’s just soldier on through this dog and pony show that my former boss so kindly paid for.”

  Dexter touched his forehead to Maggie’s. “You know, the fact that she’s paying is the best part about this whole thing.”

  As Maggie gave her father a playful shove, her bridesmaids along with Gwen and Mary Margaret rounded the corner; all equally excited to see that Maggie had returned unharmed. She couldn’t help but laugh at the rapid-fire succession of comments and questions from the small mob.

  “A-mazing how you kept this dress from becoming a total disaster,” Tessa said as she gave Maggie a full inspection.

  “Tessa, chill,” Maggie said calmly. “Everything is going to be fine. I took a little road trip. It was something I needed to do. This wasn’t a cold feet thing. Take it down a notch, okay?”

  It seemed as though several extra hands immediately sprang from the young woman; with sponges and brushes in hand, Tessa began dabbing and powdering Maggie’s makeup. Her movements were fast and furious, yet simultaneously light to the touch. “Thank goodness you’re wearing your hair pulled back,” she continued, more to herself than to anyone else.

  “Whoa, wow, warn me first before you start attacking me with those things,” Maggie said, trying to keep the atmosphere humorous and upbeat.

  Tessa continued to mumble in her semi-cognizant state. “I don’t know what we’d be doing at this late hour…”

  “Young lady,” Lenore said, gently laying her hand on Tessa’s arm. The action seemed to bring the girl back to Earth. “This is my daughter’s day, not yours,” Lenore said. “If she went down the aisle in her pajamas, she’d be fine. So that will be enough of the fussing. Okay?”

  Tessa nodded meekly as Maggie stifled an expression of amusement. “Like you’d ever let me go down the aisle looking anything less than completely hooked up,” Maggie said softly to her mother. Lenore touched her cheek to her daughter’s as the two giggled.

  “Now, we still have a few minutes while the guests are still being seated outside,” Maggie said calmly. Holding out her hands, she looked at Joe’s daughters. “If you all will excuse me, I’d like to have a word with my girls.”

  Maggie led Gwen and Mary Margaret back to her dressing room. She sat down in front of the mirror, and began to secure the silk floral headpiece to her chignon. The blusher cascaded down her back like a tulle fountain. As Maggie gazed on them with one of her sweetest smiles, the girls marveled.

  “Wow,” Gwen said. “You look like a total princess, Aunt…” She stopped short. “We can’t call you Aunt Maggie now, can we?”

  Maggie turned to face them. “You can’t?”

  This time, it was Mary Margaret’s turn to speak. “I wanted to call you Aunt Mom, but Gwennie thought that was stupid.”

  “It is stupid, M&M,” Gwen said, giving her customary roll of the eyes.

  The exchange was the same as it had ever been, but there was something to the girl’s mini-spat that felt like a new and open door to Maggie. Somehow, she couldn’t wait for the rest of her life to unfold. She wasn’t living solely for herself any longer; these young women, as well as Matty, were now her charges. She wasn’t just the baby sitter, the friend of their mother. She was the mother now.

  Yet another bittersweet revelation that caused Maggie’s eyes to well up.

  “You know what?” she said as she dabbed at her eyes again. “If Aunt Maggie is the most comfortable way to address me for now, that’s okay…because as far as I am concerned, you have a mom. Her name is Grace. And she will always be with us. And if you do decide to start calling me Mom, trust me, I am fairly confident that she’ll be okay with that. She knows you won’t ever forget her.”

  Carefully, the girls encircled their arms around Maggie and lightly embraced her.

  “We can call you anything we want,” Mary Margaret asked.

  “Yep,” said Maggie. “Well, ‘stepmonster’ is out of the question, but pretty much everything else is okay.”

  “A red carpet, Dee?”

  As their limo pulled into its designated spot, Charles was quick to voice his disgust. “This ain’t the dad-gum CMA’s, woman,” he said as he reached for the door handle. “I knew I shouldn’t have let you plan this thing. It’s enough we’re payin’ for the Ryman. You’ve gone too far this time!”

  “Charles,” Deana said as she placed her hand over his to stop him. “You have steered the course of my career beautifully. I owe you so much. But the one thing I’ll never be able to stomach is the thought of you bullying Maggie into thinking she couldn’t make it on her own. It wasn’t just a slap in her face; it was a slap in mine.”

  “Can we talk about this later? We’ve gotta go, we’re holdin’ up the line. Now screw on your smile, and let’s hit it.”

  “See, this is what I’m talking about,” Deana said. “You need to shut up and let me have my say, for once in your life!”

  In shock at her telling him to ‘shut up,’ Charles sat back in his seat and said nothing.

  “We will hold up the line, because I am payin’ for this line,” she said. “Me. My name, and my reputation…and my talent. You seem to forget that little truth most of the time. That yes, it is your business savvy that keeps us rolling, but it’s my voice the people wanna hear. And when you decided that I was little to nothing without Maggie, well that’s when I had just about enough of your mess. This shindig ain’t just for her, although Heaven knows we owe her at least that. This day is for me too.”

  The two of them sat quietly as the crowd continued its frenzy in anticipation of who just might be inside.

  “This was my way of saying, well, that I’m more than just the face of this team we’ve manufactured for the world. It was m
y way of takin’ some sort of control back,” she said quietly.

  Charles wished that they’d found another time to get to the heart of their matters, but he did understand.

  “I get that,” he replied. “And I promise you we’ll talk about it later. For real. But for now, let’s get goin’ okay?”

  He took her hand and kissed it with a sincerity she’d not seen from him in some time.

  “Okay,” she said.

  Flashbulbs were cracking at lightning speed at the sight of Deana and Charles as they exited their limousine. The switch flipped, and Dee instantaneously became Deana Timmons.

  “Deana, is there any truth to the rumor that Maggie’s bringing her band to co-headline your next tour,” asked one reporter.

  “How do you feel about her beating you out at the Grammys and the American Music Awards?” chimed another.

  “Do you think she’ll become an Opry member this year?”

  “People, people,” Charles cut in. “Just because the wedding is being held at the Mother Church of Country Music doesn’t mean this is an industry thing.”

  “Absolutely,” Deana said with her megawatt smile. “As you all know, we here in TimmonsLand are all about Family First, right? Well, the future Mrs. Maggie Buchanan has always been, and always will be, family. We couldn’t be happier for all her success!”

  “So as her family, we wanted to make sure she had the best place possible to start this new chapter of her life,” Charles continued. “Deana is still the Queen. But Maggie, well, Maggie’s our princess. And she and her Jim deserve a royal setting for their big day. We wish ‘em both nothin’ but the best.”

  “Joe,” Deana said out of the side of her mouth.

  Charles gave her a look of confusion. “What?”

  “The man’s name is Joe,” said Deana, her smile still affixed for the cameras. “At least learn the man’s name.”

  Charles gave a hearty laugh. “Oh Dee, I keep forgettin’ that joke’s only funny ‘mongst the four of us,” he lied. Looking at the bank of cameras, microphones and reporters, he winked and said, “I just wanted to make sure ya’ll were payin’ attention.”