Butterfly Secrets

by G. L. Blackhouse

  “No, Roy, we’ll talk about him now!” I said as I spat in his face.

  Rage filled Roy’s entire face as it turned a bright red, and he kicked me with his hard boot once again.

  Pain radiated throughout my body. A mixture of anger and fear ran through me. Images of this house and Roy filled my head. Roy beating Mama. Sneaking into my room at night and forcing himself on me when Mama passed out. My hands shook, and my heart ripped through my chest. If Roy had killed Jackson, I would kill him or die trying.

  “Where is he?” I asked again frantically as I scanned the room.

  “Not even a hello. Thought you would have missed me, Em,” Roy said as he placed his dirty hand under my chin. My stomach turned.

  “Ungrateful, just like your no-good mama,” Roy said, slapping me hard in the face.

  I grabbed my throbbing cheek and spoke.

  “Don’t you even say Mama’s name, Roy! Mama was and still is too good for you! You better not have even touched Jackson! I want to speak to him! Where is he?” I shouted, hoping that somehow Roy had let Jackson live.

  “Lover-boy is tied up right now,” Roy said, laughing.

  “Roy, if you hurt him, I’ll....”

  “What? Kill me?” Roy said, interrupting with a laugh as he drew back his fist and hit me again.

  Roy pulled me up from the ground and slung me in the chair as he pointed a colt revolver at my temple.

  “I hardly think you are in any position to hurt anyone. As you can see, I’m the one with the gun,” Roy said.

  “What do you want, Roy?” I asked, still fuming.

  Roy got out a pair of handcuffs and slapped one on my wrist as he held the gun to my face and then placed the other cuff to the table leg.

  “That’s better,” Roy said.

  Anger raced throughout my body and with all of my might, I kicked Roy in the midsection with my free leg.

  “Dammit!” Roy said as he held himself.

  Roy slapped me across the face again.

  “Okay, enough of this! Here is how it is gonna go, and that rich boyfriend is gonna see it all,” Roy said.

  I breathed a sigh of relief. That meant that Jackson had to be alive, at least for now.

  “Kill me, Roy. Jackson has no fight in this,” I pleaded. I hoped that if I could convince Roy to kill me, Jackson could somehow escape.

  “Oh, trust me, I’ll kill ya, but Jackson is gonna get his, too. He’s the one who made sure they put me in jail,” Roy said angrily.

  “He’s your son, Roy. You can’t kill him!” I said, hoping to deter him.

  “I doubt he is even mine. Nah, definitely too stupid to be mine,” Roy said.

  “I’ve seen the proof, Roy. He is yours,” I said.

  “Well, too bad, he made the mistake of getting in bed with you,” Roy said.

  “You don’t mean that, you wouldn’t hurt him?” I pleaded.

  “Well, guess that does make a difference. I’ll let him see you die, and then I’ll just shoot him in the head, right there on the spot. Guess if he is my son, there’s no need to make him suffer,” Roy said sarcastically.

  “You’re the devil, Roy! You won’t get away with it!” I shouted as I struggled to get free from the cuffs.

  “Oh, really, well, let’s see. I got away with killing your druggie mama. I got away with killin’ that no good drunk daddy of yours, and how do you think the well that killed your precious little Jordy got uncovered?” Roy said arrogantly.

  “Damn you, Roy!” I said, spitting in his face again.

  Roy smacked me hard across the face.

  “Now, I want to read you somethin’ I found in the house one day while you and Jackson were out lookin’ for your dead mama,” Roy said as he pulled out a journal from his jacket.

  “How did you know we had gone looking for her? You were in my house?” I asked, confused.

  “I told you. I know everything. I own this town. Hell, I even own you. Think of me as God. Like God, I get to decide if you live or die, but in your case death is lookin’ pretty certain,” Roy said, laughing.

  My hands shook, and my head hurt. I hadn’t seen that journal since I was seventeen. I had hidden it under a plank in my room the day before I left for Chicago and had forgotten it. The journal had everything in it.

  “This made for some wonderful reading. You are quite the writer,” Roy said sarcastically.

  “Put that away, Roy. You have no business reading that!” I said nervously as I thought of all that Roy would discover.

  “Oh, I’ve read it. It’s become some of my favorite reading,” Roy said as he thumbed through the pages.

  “What are you gonna do with that Roy? Kill me and Jackson? What purpose is that gonna serve?” I asked angrily.

  “Yeah, I’m gonna kill ya, but first, let’s hear the story. Don’t want to spoil the endin’,” Roy said, looking down at the book as though he was interested.

  Roy continued to thumb through the pages.

  My heart raced as I could see out of the corner of my eye Jackson at the top of the stairs, slowly wobbling down them. Jackson was eyeballing the gun sitting in the corner at the bottom of the stairs.

  I tried to shake my head no to Jackson without alerting Roy of Jackson’s presence, but Jackson kept slowly moving forward. Jackson looked pretty bruised up.

  “Let’s see, here is a good place to begin, ‘Dear diary. I lost the baby today. It came out dead. There was so much blood. No one knows, not even Kev. I did something terrible. I told no one. I just buried it. I buried my own baby. I’m a monster. If I would have gone to the doctor, if someone would have known, maybe they could have saved it’,” Roy said in a mocking tone.

  Tears ran down my cheeks, and a gut-wrenching pain filled my body. Not only did Roy know, but Jackson now knew my secret. I wondered if he would never think of me the same. I wondered if Jackson saw me as a murderer like Roy. But that didn’t matter now. All that mattered was saving Jackson. I tried to look at the top of the stairs at Jackson’s expression, but Roy kept standing in front of me and talking. I was afraid if I tried to look around Roy, it would expose Jackson. My chest hurt. I could only imagine the pain that Jackson must have been going through hearing that his girlfriend was responsible for such a terrible thing. This wasn’t how I wanted Jackson to find out. I couldn’t explain myself. But it wasn’t like there was anything to explain. I was a terrible person, end of story. Now, Jackson knew that, too.

  “Now, Roy. Are you happy?” I said angrily through tears as I tried to distract Roy hoping that Jackson would now try to make his getaway.

  “No, not yet. Keep listening,” Roy said with a maniacal smile.

  “’I must go now. I must leave. Kev will never forgive me. I hate Roy. He is so mean to Mama. He made Mama lose her baby. I can’t stay. I can’t be like Mama, and Kev has a baseball scholarship to think about. They are better off without me. They are all better off without me.’ Now, that is my favorite part, the part where you say that we are all better off without you. You might not be so stupid after all,” Roy said as he finished reading the passage in my diary.

  “So, kill me, Roy. That is what you want,” I said through tear-filled eyes. Maybe I did deserve it, I thought. I knew that after hearing all that about me, there was no way that Jackson could love me. I just hoped that I could distract Roy long enough for Jackson to get away.

  “No, not yet. See, here is what is gonna happen. We’ll say that screw-up ex-boyfriend of yours, Kevin, and you were havin’ an affair. You were gonna marry Jackson for his money. Jackson came home and found out that you were secretly seeing Kevin. Then, you and Jackson got into a fight. He killed Kev. You were so furious that Jackson killed your lover that you shot Jackson and killed him. Then, realizing the horrible monster that you were, you turned the gun on yourself. I get the house. End of story,” Roy said proudly.

  “Aunt Georgia, Jim and Julie would never allow you to have this place!” I said.

  “I’ll kill them, too, just like
I did your no-good ex-boyfriend,” Roy boasted.

  “No!” I exclaimed, with tears falling down my cheeks.

  “He didn’t need to be part of all of this. Just Jackson needs to see this. Which reminds me, I need to go get him,” Roy said as he leaned in towards me and began to turn around.

  I kicked Roy once again hard in the midsection.

  Roy winced in pain as his face turned red.

  I’ll just kill ya now!” Roy exclaimed as he took the gun and smacked me in the side of the head with it.

  I held my head as blood ran down my face.

  “Then do it, Roy!” I said angrily. My heart raced; I knew that it was just a matter of time before Roy pulled the trigger. Jackson was almost down the stairs. If Jackson could just get down the stairs, then maybe he could get out the door and be free.

  “I don’t believe you about Kev. How did you get him here?” I asked, trying to stall.

  “Oh, that was easy. I picked up Jackson’s bike at his house. His dear mama was at church. I had one of my boys call Kev and tip him off that you were in danger. Amazin’ how that boy after all these years still has a hankerin’ for someone like you. Too bad you are going to be dead soon,” Roy said as he cocked the gun and pointed it at my head.

  Suddenly, there was a creak in the floor. Roy turned, fired at Jackson, and missed. Jackson slid on the floor, grabbed the gun, shot at Roy, and missed. Roy grabbed the gun back, fired again and hit Jackson in the leg. I kicked Roy, and he turned to aim the gun at me once again. I closed my eyes tightly and held my breath as I prepared to die. Suddenly, I heard another shot fired and a hard thump to the floor. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Roy lying on the floor in a pool of blood.

  Jackson limped over to me, and we held on to one another tightly as I cried.

  “Em, it’s over,” Jackson said with watery eyes as he kissed me.

  The sheriff, two deputies, and Jimmy burst through the door.

  “Em, you okay?” Jimmy asked as he ran inside with the sheriff and deputies.

  The sheriff walked over to Roy and felt for a pulse as Roy lay motionless on the floor.

  “He’s dead,” the sheriff said to the deputy.

  “Bud, call the coroner, have him pick up Roy,” the sheriff said.

  “There’s another one, Sheriff, Kevin Howard. Roy killed him, too. He’s upstairs,” Jackson said.

  “You two ok?” the sheriff asked as he took off my cuffs and freed me.

  We both nodded. Jackson’s leg was bleeding, and his face and head were bruised.

  “Why didn’t anyone notify us that Roy was out?” Jackson asked in a frustrated tone.

  “I would’ve, Jackson, but I didn’t know myself until about thirty minutes ago. Me and Bud came as soon as we heard,” the sheriff said.

  “Where’s Eddie?” Jackson asked.

  The sheriff made a face and motioned Jackson over to the corner as he whispered to him.

  “Guess, I might as well tell you since you will find out anyway. Eddie was working for Roy. Just let him out without telling any of us. State boys have Eddie in questioning right now,” the sheriff said.

  My heart pounded. The sheriff had been right. Jackson had been right. Roy did have someone at the station working for him. I shuddered at the thought of how close he had come to killing us.

  CHAPTER 29 -THE PROPOSAL

  I looked at the house as we rode off in the back of the ambulance. Images of Roy haunted me. I flinched as flashes of all the pain from Roy flooded through my mind like a river breaking through a dam at full speed. I felt a heaviness in my heart that Kevin had lost his life because he had been involved with me. Tears rolled down my face as I thought of Kevin’s little boy growing up without a father.

  I sat in the back of the ambulance as the paramedic treated our wounds.

  “It’s over, Em. You never have to worry again about Roy,” Jackson said, assuring me.

  “Jackson, I am so sorry. I know he was your father,” I said.

  Jackson nodded. “He was, Em, but that doesn’t change what kind of man he was. I couldn’t let him hurt you, Em, ever,” Jackson said.

  I nodded yes with tears in my eyes.

  “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about the baby,” I said, still crying.

  “I don’t care about that, Em. That wasn’t your fault,” Jackson said.

  “I love you, no matter what. It’s me that is no good for you. My father is responsible for all of your pain. How can you ever look at me and not be reminded of the hurt that he caused you?” Jackson said with a look of worry.

  I scooted over and put my hands in Jackson’s as I looked him in the eyes.

  “Jackson, every time I look at you, I will only see a man that was willing to give up on his own life to make sure that I was happy and never hurt again. When I look at you, I don’t see hate, I see love,” I said softly.

  “But, look at what I am. How could you love that?” he asked.

  “We’re all flawed,” I said, squeezing his hand.

  “But, Roy, he had no remorse, no heart. That is in my DNA, Em. What if one day I end up like him? I was in the Marines, Em. I had to kill before,” he said with tears forming in his eyes.

  “You could never be like him,” I assured Jackson as the paramedic continued working on his leg.

  “I love you,” I said with tears running down my face.

  I kissed Jackson’s hand. We both had painful pasts and had somehow survived. Not only that, but we hadn’t let our past become us. We had set our own rules.

  The ambulance pulled into the hospital. The paramedic lowered us out and took us inside.

  “Hey, Luke, can you give us a minute?” Jackson asked the paramedic.

  “I’m really not supposed to, but, considering it’s you and all you’ve been through, I will. No more than a couple minutes, though,” Luke said.

  Jackson nodded.

  Jackson placed his hands gently on my face and looked me in the eyes.

  “I love you, Em. I want to spend the rest of my life with you if you will have me,” Jackson said.

  “You promise?” I asked as tears of happiness ran down my face.

  Jackson kissed my tears and smiled.

  Jackson’s smile made my heart melt and no matter how bad I ever felt, his smile always

  made me feel better.

  “I’ll be here when you’re out of the hospital,” I said with tears running down my cheeks as I smiled.

  “No more running, Em,” Jackson said.

  “Don’t worry,” I said as I tenderly kissed his head.

  “I want you always, Jackson Roderick,” I said, kissing his lips.

  “Even after all of this?” he asked.

  “Yes, especially after all of this. You risked your life to try and save me,” I said.

  “You did the saving,” Jackson replied.

  “You are the one who saved me. You taught me to love, Em. I’ve never loved anyone like I‘ve loved you,” Jackson said as he reached into his pocket and held out a pack of gum.

  I laughed as I looked at Jackson holding the pack of gum. I thought of when we were younger and how he had given me gum with notes to cheer me up when we were kids. I took the pack of gum out of his hand.

  “Go ahead, open it,” he said as he pointed to a piece that was sticking slightly further out of the pack than the others.

  “Will you marry me?” Jackson asked as I pulled a ring out of the gum pack.

  My heart pounded with excitement, and tears flowed down my cheeks. Jackson loved me through it all even when I couldn’t love myself.

  I nodded my head yes through tears as Jackson kissed me. I was no longer afraid of losing Jackson or of him discovering my secret. We both knew the worst about each other and miraculously had become stronger because of it.

  CHAPTER 30- HOMECOMING

  Weeks passed, and I was now moments away from marrying the man of my dreams. I looked into the mirror one last time as Julie put the finishing touches on my hai
r.

  “Oh, Em, you are beautiful!” she exclaimed as she carefully patted my hair into place.

  “Mama loved you so much, Em. She always considered you one of her own girls. She would have wanted you to have this,” Aunt Georgia said as she handed me a blue butterfly comb.

  My heart skipped a beat as I looked at the comb.

  “Something blue,” Aunt Georgia said, smiling, with tears of joy in her eyes.

  “I couldn’t,” I said, looking at the old heirloom.

  “You must. Mama would have wanted you to wear it. You can borrow it then. That way, you will have both something borrowed, and something blue,” Aunt Georgia insisted.

  I gave Aunt Georgia a hug with tears in my eyes.

  “Thank you, it’s perfect. I’ll have both Jordy and Grandma with me,” I said.

  “Now don’t you go cryin’ on me and mess up your pretty face,” Aunt Georgia said as she handed me a tissue.

  I smiled and nodded as I wiped my eyes.

  “I know Mama, Jenny, and Jordy are lookin’ down at you and just smilin’. Jackson is a good man, Em. He loves you, too. Anyone can see it just by the way his whole face lights up when you enter a room. Why, I don’t think there’s even a star that shines as bright as he does when he sees ya. That’s real love, Em,” Aunt Georgia said.

  Suddenly, the door swung open, and Jimmy appeared.

  “What’s got you in a hiss, Em. You got cold feet already?” Jimmy joked as he walked in unannounced with a huge grin.

  “Jim, where are your manners?” I asked.

  “Aww, all of you are all dressed and just sittin’ around gosspin’ anyway. We got a weddin’ to start.”

  “We ain’t doin’ no such a thing as gosspin’, Jim!” Aunt Georgia said in a frustrated tone.

  It was obvious that Jimmy loved getting under Aunt Georgia’s skin.

  “I was just messin’ with ya, Mama. But Reverend Collins is waitin’, and I’m gettin’ awful hungry for some of Jackson’s mama’s fried chicken,” Jimmy said as he rubbed his belly.

  “I’m ready, Jim,” I said as I stood up and smiled.

  “Good. You look awful pretty, Em. Hey there, Amy!” Jimmy said flirtatiously grinning at Amy.