Bagheads

by Woods, Karen

  Walking outside, Shaun squeezed his eyes together. The sun was bright and he struggled to see. Lifting his hands up, he covered his eyes. Shaun and Gladys both followed Joan to her red Corsa and watched as she opened the door. Shaun kicked the floor as Gladys spoke eagerly to Joan. A few other people stood close to them who looked like security. Shaun looked bored. Once they’d finished talking, his mother came to his side. Searching her coat pocket she pulled out an old tissue and placed it into her mouth to wet it. She quickly wiped his face with the edge of it. Shaun started to moan as she wiped the tissue around his face.

  “Mam stop it. It’s got your breath all over it. It stinks of arse.” Gladys scrubbed his face and grabbed him towards her. Her grip was tight as she spoke her last words to him. She looked weak and ready for the knacker’s yard.

  “Orr son I love you so much. How have you ended up like this?” Her head fell onto his shoulders. “I’ll come and see you every week son. I promise, just be good and you’ll be home before you know it.” Shaun shoved her away from him with a gentle push. He was a big lad now and didn’t need his mother’s love anymore or so he thought. Dragging the car door open he plonked his body inside.

  Gladys stared through the window at her son. Watching her face sent a wave of fear through his body. For the first time he felt scared. Joan started the engine and he nodded his head at his mother as they started to drive off. As he looked through the back misted window he could see her shaking from head to toe. “Silly cow,” he whispered. Turning his head back to the front he bit onto his bottom lip to stop his tears flowing.

  The time passed quickly on the way to Blackpool. The traffic was heavy and cars were speeding past them as they joined the motorway. Joan looked stressed. Her fingers gripped the steering wheel and as she picked up speed to join the traffic she was mumbling under her breath. Shaun thought about Blackpool and smiled as he remembered family holidays there. Those happy days were long gone now. The rain banged on the car windows as if it was trying to get a grip of Shaun’s body. He looked uncomfortable.

  The windscreen wipers started to swish from side to side. Shaun followed them with his eyes and seemed hypnotised by them. The motorway wasn’t that busy but the weather was slowing the traffic down. Shaun sat staring with a cunning look on his face. His fingers were tapping rapidly on his knees. He was up to something.

  Joan glanced over to where he was and asked if he was okay. A quick nod of his head was enough for her and she carried on driving. Shaun asked where they were and once she told him he knew he would have to act quickly. The traffic was coming to a standstill as the road works approached. Shaun quickly jumped into the front seat and yanked at the door handle with trembling hands. Joan started screaming.

  “What are you doing, you lunatic? Close the bloody door!” She tried to grab him but her seatbelt restricted her movement. Shaun ignored her and flung himself from the moving car onto the road. The traffic was starting to move again and she knew she would have to get to the hard shoulder. “Fucking hell! fucking hell!” she panicked.

  Pulling over to the hard shoulder, she ran to the fence which she had seen Shaun jump. He was almost halfway across it by the time she got there. Joan knew there would be no chance of her catching him. She lifted her hands to her head and sighed.

  “The little bastard!”

  Shaun ran and ran and didn’t turn back once to see if she was chasing him. The field was full of cow shit and he dodged it as if he was avoiding landmines. Once he reached the other side he looked behind him. He couldn’t see anyone. “Result!” he shouted as he punched his fist into the air. He was gasping for air until slowly his breathing returned to normal. Digging deep into his socks he pulled out the packet of cigs he’d stashed earlier and lit one. His mam had also shoved twenty pounds into his hand before she left him so he knew he could get back home safely if he wanted.

  As he inhaled his cig he pulled his hood up over his face. Sat with his knees up to his chest he planned his next move as he took cover in some nearby bushes. Shaun didn’t really know where he was but the money he had in his pocket was enough for now. The rain now became heavier as the heavens opened. It was pissing down. Flicking his cig into the grass verge he sat thinking for a minute. He looked sad. Looking round the area his eyes focused on the houses he could see in the distance. Jerking his body up from the ground he kept his head low as he trudged towards the gap in the fence.

  Shaun seemed to walk for ages before he saw another person. As a middle-aged man approached him he prepared his words. Licking his lips he spoke in a confident manner.

  “Excuse me, can you tell me where the train station is to get to Manchester please?” The man looked at him and couldn’t really be bothered standing about in the rain. He was still walking as he gave Shaun the information he needed. Shaun jogged at the side of him.

  “You need to get to the town centre son. Just get the bus there.” The man pointed down the road as he continued. “Ask the driver if it takes you into town. Then you should be fine from there.” The passer-by walked away with his hands in his pocket and his long trench coat buttoned up tightly. Shaun stood looking at the bus stop and read the times the buses were due. Glancing over the road he noticed a DIY shop and wondered if they sold glue.

  Shaun crossed the road with a spring in his step. He entered the shop. It was quite old fashioned and an old man stood behind the counter wearing a light brown overall. The man’s grey hair was combed over his bald spot and Shaun was amused how the hair fell out of place every time he bent down. Slowly he walked round the shop as the eyes of the man focused on him.

  “Can I help you son?” the shop keeper asked. Shaun now played the part he’d played so many times before. He deserved an Oscar for this performance.

  “My dad has sent me for some strong glue. I can’t really remember the name of it.” Shaun started to sound out some words as the man stood watching him. “Epo, edo, glue?” The man knew exactly what he meant and laughed as he grabbed his shoulder.

  “You mean Evo-stick glue sonny.” The man now reached up onto the shelf and grabbed the tin. The red container made Shaun smile because he knew in a few minutes he would be off his head and he could get the rush he desired. As he stood at the till he casually asked for a plastic bag to put his purchase in. After all without the bag he couldn’t sniff could he? The man obliged and handed him the adhesive. Shaun stood swinging his body as he waited for his change. Leaving the shop Shaun shouted goodbye to the man and headed back to the deserted bus stop.

  Looking both ways he sat on the small red plastic seat inside the bus shelter. Once he’d unscrewed the lid from the glue he poured the thick yellow liquid into the bag. His hands were shaking as he gripped the bag by the neck and pushed all the glue to the bottom of it. As he opened his tracksuit top he placed the glue-bag down deep inside it. Shaun left the top of the bag hanging out so he could get his mouth into it.

  The first sniff was always the best and today was no different. He inhaled deeply and you could see his body melting. The bag inflated and deflated in his hands as if it was a lung. Mellow moments followed. Standing from his seat Shaun tried to read the timetable on the plastic notice board screwed on the bus shelter. His eyesight looked disturbed as he tried to focus on the words. He looked pissed.

  Once the bus arrived Shaun quickly asked the driver if it went to the town centre. Once he’d confirmed where it was going he paid his fare and headed to the upper level on the bus. As he reached the top of the stairs he clocked all the people and where they were sat. He needed a quiet place to sniff his glue and headed to the back of the bus where he would be alone. Shaun placed his skinny legs along the back seat. His face disappeared as his head went inside the top of his coat.

  Later, when he got on the train, the chugging noise brought a smile to Shaun’s face as he tapped his fingers on the window. The noise of it seemed like the beating of a drum. He held his hands out over his legs and pretended he had a set of drums in front of him. Peop
le in the carriage looked at him and shook their heads. He looked drunk to them and they whispered to each other as he sat in a world of his own.

  Shaun picked at the spots round his mouth as his eyes struggled to keep open. Some of the spots were red and inflamed but that didn’t deter him scratching at them. His mouth was open as he gawped at his surroundings. He was on his way home.

  As the train came to a standstill in Manchester, he knew he was back on familiar ground. The sound of a man’s voice shouting “Get your Evening News” brought a smile to his face. Everybody was rushing around as he slowly made his way to the exit. His steps were clumsy and he nearly lost his balance a few times. Shaun remembered he was a wanted man. He pulled his hood up further around his face only leaving his eyes on show. Shaun began to quicken his steps and once he was outside the train station he jogged a little until he reached a nearby side street.

  The glue was nearly gone now. His face was deep inside the plastic bag as he inhaled the last bit of it. He tossed the bag to the floor. Seeing a red phone box in the distance he searched his pocket for some change. Once he was inside it he dialled the number of his family home. The voice he heard was that of his brother and he paused for few second before he finally spoke.

  “Tell me mam I want her. Tell her to be quick before my money runs out.” Shaun held the phone away from his ear as his brother screamed down the line.

  “Get your arse home ya little prick! The police have been here all day looking for you!” Shaun spoke again but this time his voice was low.

  “Just get my mam will ya.” The phone was silent and he pressed his ear against the phone as he heard the voice of Paul shouting his mother in the background.

  “Mam, that nobhead’s on the phone. You better tell him when I see him I’m gonna do him in. The little twat.”

  “Fucking dickhead,” Shaun growled. Gladys’s voice was shaky and low as she replied to her son. Shaun sounded frantic.

  “Mam it’s me.” His mother’s sobs could be heard as he continued. “I’m not going back there. I want to stay with you.”

  His mother tried to reason with him and as he held the phone by the wire he could hear her piercing voice telling him to hand himself in at the police station. Shaun placed the receiver down and mumbled under his breath.

  “Fucking sell out. No way I’m going back into care.” He flung the door open from the phone box and kicked the side of the glass panel. His hood was still covering his head. Standing for a minute he thought about where to go. With a little jog in his step he made his way to the bus stop that would take him back to Harpurhey.

  There were a few people waiting for the same bus as Shaun. His hands gripped the rusty pole at the bus stop. Leaning against it, he held his arms out and swung around it into the road. The cars honked their horns as they just missed him, but his face remained calm as he rammed two fingers up at the traffic. One woman grabbed her child’s hand and shook her head at him with a look of disgust on her face. “Fucking nutter,” she huffed.

  Shaun stepped on the bus and dug his hands into his jeans for the fare. His trousers hung from his arse and the top of his boxer shorts could be seen. His eyes looked glazed over and he stank of glue. The driver took the fare and nodded slowly at him. He watched him through his rear view mirror take his seat. The woman behind him couldn’t wait to fill the driver in about Shaun’s antics as he took her fare. Her head turned away from Shaun and once she knew he couldn’t hear her she began.

  “He’s a couple of butties short of a picnic him. You should have seen him before. He swung right out into the road without a care in the world, he could have been killed you know.” The driver shook his head but didn’t speak as he gave her the bus ticket. He watched her as she walked past and carried on taking the fares.

  Shaun pressed his face against the window and blew his warm breath onto it. Once the window had misted over, he wet the end of his finger and wrote his name in it. “Shaun of Harpurhey” he scrawled. The man next to him smiled. He couldn’t see any harm in the kid’s artwork and carried on reading his newspaper.

  Shaun suddenly stood up at the window and started banging on the glass as he spotted one of his mates. His voice was loud as he shouted through the glass. The bus was at a standstill waiting for the traffic lights to change.

  “Dillon! Where ya off to?” he shouted as his face scrunched up at the window. You could see the other lad nearing the bus as he shouted back.

  “Just on my way up to Mark’s. Are ya coming?” Shaun waved his hands at him and shouted at the driver to wait while he got off the bus. The driver was reluctant at first but felt intimidated by him so he pressed the button to open the door. The other passengers could be heard sighing, but they were glad to see the back of the youth. Shaun jumped off the bus as it was still in motion and bounced toward his mate.

  Dillon nodded as he approached him and passed him half the cig he’d been smoking. “What ya up to then?” Dillon sniggered. Shaun hunched his shoulders and smiled with a cocky face.

  “I’m on my toes aren’t I?”

  His mate giggled. Shaun was now aware he had to be more careful in the area. He pulled his hood back up and took a deep drag of the cig. Dillon wanted to know more and delved deeper into his business.

  “What ya on the run for? What ya been up to now ya nobhead?” Shaun bit onto his bottom lip as he spoke. This was the first time he’d realised exactly how deep in shit he really was.

  “I’m supposed to be in care. They tried taking me today, but I got off.” Dillon smiled and punched him on the arm playfully.

  “Ya muppet. What did ya do?” Shaun had to think and tilted his head to the side.

  “Nar nothing much, just a few snatches and that. They think I’m out of control because my dad has fucked off.”

  Dillon watched his friend’s face. He could see sadness in his eyes. He was a lot older than Shaun and always looked at him as the brother he never had. Dillon was a good kid and never got involved with the street life in Harpurhey. He’d much rather concentrate on his schoolwork unlike most kids in the area. Dillon was considered an outsider by lots of the youth in the area. Shaun’s other mates use to take the piss out him for associating with him but he always told them to lay off him and fought his corner well telling them he was an alright lad.

  They carried on walking. They crossed the road that led to some nearby fields. Shaun felt the money in his pocket and told Dillon he would meet him later at Mark’s. He made his way to the hardware shop and quickly hid his glue in his coat once he’d bought some more. Mark was a glue sniffer as well and now he had some, they could have a buzz together. Secretly he was hoping Mark would let him get his head down at his gaff, well at least for tonight anyway. His mate’s parents were pissed all the time and didn’t give a fuck who stayed in the house as long as they didn’t bother them.

  The thought of the solvent inside his coat made him quicken his pace. He held it like it was a bar of gold. This was his remedy to take all the pain away he felt inside. Nothing mattered when he was as high as a kite on glue. If he’d have had his way he would of stayed that way forever.

  Shaun rapped at Mark’s door. The letter box was full of dirt and grease. After he knocked it he wiped his hands on his jacket. “Scruffy twats,” he whispered. Music could be heard playing at full blast inside. Lifting the letter box up he scanned through it to see if he could see anyone. Scrunching his mouth inside it he shouted Mark’s name. Within minutes a man came to the door looking pissed out of his head. He took a while to focus on Shaun and walked away leaving the door wide open.

  Shaun walked inside and stood for a minute. When he saw Mark’s drunken dad shut the living room door he made his way upstairs. The music was blasting downstairs and he found it hard to hear as he shouted Mark. Once he heard his voice he jogged up the rest of the stairs and entered the bedroom. The bedroom was poorly lit. It looked like a shit tip. The curtains being fully closed didn’t help. A bare bulb hung from the discoloured ceiling
and the two double beds in the room were covered in clothes and coats. A few other lads were lying on the beds.

  Dillon stood up ready to leave. He had only called to swap a game with Mark and now he saw the glue in Shaun’s hands he knew it was time to do one. Shaun felt a little embarrassed when he saw his eyes focus on his guilty pleasure and tried to raise a smile, but Dillon left straight away.

  Mark ran downstairs and got some plastic bags as the others waited eagerly for him to return. When he came back he threw them all a bag each and watched as Shaun shared it out. Before the sniffing began Shaun made sure he could have a bed for the night. Once he explained to Mark what was happening he began to relax knowing he had somewhere to stay for now.

  All four lads inhaled the glue and slowly they all went into a world of their own. The music being played by Pink Floyd set the scene. They mumbled the words to “Another Brick in the wall” as the solvent took effect. The noise of someone coming in the room made them hide their glue bags. As they looked up it was Mark’s mother stood at the door. She had a cig hanging from her mouth and her words were slurred as she spoke. She looked a disgrace.

  “Get this shit hole cleaned up. Look at the fucking state of it in here!” The lads hung their heads low as Mark spoke.

  “Chill out will ya . I’ll do it later, what’s the big rush.” His mother could barely stand up and gripped the door fame to steady herself.

  “No wonder I’m always pissed, the state of this fucking house,” she slurred before slamming the bedroom door. Mark screwed up his face as she left.

  “She’s a fucking nobhead isn’t she? Every time I have my mates in she always says the same thing. She thinks she will shame me into cleaning up.” He looked embarrassed as he ranted. “She wants to look at herself instead of my fucking bedroom. She’s a walking wreck.”

  No one replied as their heads were now sunk into their plastic bags. Eyes rolled and jaws dropped as they inhaled the fumes from the thick yellow liquid. Each kid had their own personal problems but to look at them you couldn’t tell. They all had smiles on their face and didn’t seem to give a shit about anything in life.