by Woods, Karen
Ged looked at the spliff and casually passed it to his mates. He walked them to the door. Colby lit the spliff and inhaled deeply. Ged loved his new partners in crime and wanted to make sure he didn’t lose them.
“Right lads, are ya coming back tomorrow? I’ll see if I can get you any work and that.” Shaun and Colby looked at each other and nodded. They were impressed at what this lad could offer them. They told him they would definitely be in touch. Ged scribbled his mobile phone number down and passed it to them as they parted.
Shaun and Colby were quiet as they walked to the bus stop. Colby could be seen still smelling his fingers and smiling. Shaun took the rest of the spliff from him and finished it off. Once they sat at the bus shelter Shaun spoke as he pulled his hood tighter round his face.
“He’s mint him isn’t he?”
Colby nodded and couldn’t be arsed speaking as he was stoned. The journey back to the home was spent more or less in silence. They both sat at the back of the bus and stared out of the window.
The next day Colby and Shaun spoke about their antics. They decided that from that day they would make the most of their time in care. They phoned Ged and told him they would work for him. They hoped to make a lot of money and just prayed he would get them onboard with him.
Chapter Nine
The day Shaun finished his long term care order was a sad time. All the lads were stood there hugging him. Gladys had come to pick him. She looked a nervous wreck. Her clothes hung from her body and she looked anorexic. In the time Shaun had spent in care you could count on one hand how many times his mother had visited him. He always told her to stay at home and save her money from the train fare for herself. Colby had left months before and they still spoke to each other every day.
Colby and Shaun had hatched a plan to sell heroin when they got home. Ged was in on it as well and they had everything sorted out. They’d even got a few lads from Harpurhey involved as runners. Reece wasn’t happy when he’d heard what Ged had planned and tried to make him stay with him but Ged was older and wiser now and wanted to go it alone. Ged had got a name for himself and some people on the street were calling him ruthless. He didn’t give a fuck who he hurt as long as he got the result he wanted.
The flat was already set up by Ged. As soon as Shaun got in the car with his mother he told her he wasn’t staying at the family home. She was upset and cried but his words were strong and she knew he wouldn’t change his mind.
Once they got home Shaun ran to his old bedroom and started to gather some clothes. His mam had rigged his wardrobe with a few new clothes. As he looked at his old room he noticed it had been decorated. His heart melted for a moment but he was in too much of a rush to thank his mother for all the effort she’d made. As he piled the clothes into a bag his mother stood at the bedroom door. A cig hung from her mouth as she rested her arm on the door frame.
“Where are you going then? I mean you have only just got home. Why don’t you stay for a few days then go?” Shaun’s head was dipped and he couldn’t look at her face.
“Mam, will you fuck off pecking my head. I’ll still come and see you every day but I’ve got a job and I don’t want to fuck it up.” Gladys heard the word job and looked happy. She felt proud he’d found work.
“Oh what job is it son? Have the care home sorted it out for you?” Shaun just huffed and picked up his bags. Paul could be heard shouting his mother from outside the room. Shaun met his brother for the first time in ages. Paul immediately hugged him. It was obvious he’d missed him.
“Alright our kid. Bet ya glad to be home aren’t ya?” Shaun smiled at him and nodded as he ruffled his hair. Paul noticed his bags in his hands and looked at him with a puzzled face.
“Where ya off to? Don’t tell me you and my mam have been arguing already. For fuck’s sake you haven’t been home two minutes.” Shaun answered as they both headed downstairs.
“Nar, I’ve got a job so I’m moving in with my mate. I should be earning some good money.” Paul looked angry and was just about to give him a lecture but Shaun ran out and shouted his goodbyes. Paul joined his mam in Shaun’s bedroom. Gladys had lifted the net curtain from the window and was watching him carry his bag on his shoulder. The kids on the estate were shouting at him as he passed them and you could see his smiling face joking around with them.
Paul gripped his mother’s shoulder. He could see she was upset. He placed his chin on her shoulder and watched his brother leave.
“Come on mam. You’ve wasted enough tears over him. He’ll be fine, he always is.” Gladys dropped the net curtain and went downstairs. Even though he’d been home for just one day her nerves were on edge. Gladys always knew from Shaun being a baby that he would bring her nothing but trouble and she’d always told her sister the same thing when he was a toddler.
Shaun was always the child who was up to mischief. Whenever she heard a child crying in the distance she always knew her son would have had something to do with it. Reaching for her cigs she turned the TV on and sat watching a daytime chat show. The programme was about everyday people and their lives. Gladys sat shaking her head as she listened to them.
*
Shaun reached the flats in Harpurhey and pressed the button for the number of the door. He waited until he heard a voice on the intercom. He heard a buzzing noise and the door opened. Dragging his bag he made his way to the lift. There were two sets of lifts: one for even numbers and one for odd numbers. He entered the lift for even numbers and pressed the button for the second floor. He could smell piss and you could see his nostrils flaring as he breathed deeply. As he looked on the floor he could see green spit all over the show. He mumbled under his breath, “dirty bastards”.
The doors opened and he could see three doors looking at him. Quickly checking the numbers on the door he tapped the letter box with his hand. After waiting a few seconds he could see a shadow approaching the door. As it opened he saw Colby’s face.
“Alright lad. How’s it going?” Colby hugged Shaun and they shared a moment. Grabbing him by the shoulder he escorted him to the living room. The flat looked quite clean. The few things they had in the gaff were all top of the range. The large TV stood on a silver stand, and the music centre stood next to it. The flat had crisp white net curtains up at the window and the carpet on the floor looked new. Shaun was impressed.
Ged could be heard coming from the bedroom and a young woman followed behind him. Shaun couldn’t see her face at first but when she turned around he noticed it was Lauren. Shaun knew Lauren from years before and he’d always had a soft spot for her. He watched her place her hair back into a ponytail and it was obvious her and Ged had just had sex. Feeling an ache in his stomach Shaun tried to raise a smile. He nodded his head at Lauren as he sat down. Looking round he could see loads of small plastic bags on the table and a small set of scales. Colby came back in the room and smiled.
“Well come on then. Get stuck in we need to get this bagged up before six o’clock”. Shaun leaned forward and weighed the heroin onto the scales. He could see Ged now mixing some other powder with it. He looked at him and asked the question that was playing on his mind.
“What’s that ya putting in it?”
Ged winked at him as Shaun watched him empty some tablets onto the table and started to crush them. He scooped a spoonful of some other powder and mixed them all together.
“Just some paracetamol and caffeine mate. It helps it go further. Reece showed me how to do it. Clever innit”.
Shaun shook his head and moaned. “Fucking hell ya could kill em”.
Ged shrugged his shoulders and held his head back as he laughed. “Does this face look as if it gives a fuck? I’m in it for the money mate”. Ged could see Shaun was annoyed and explained himself further. “If they want to shoot smack into their veins, then that’s up to them”.
Shaun chewed on his fingernails for a minute. Ged was right he thought and backed down. He sat at the table and started crushing some of the tablets with him
.
Lauren sat smoking her cig. She looked different to Shaun. Her face looked thin and her eyes seemed vacant and her once long hair now looked thin and brittle. He wanted to speak to her but still felt shy.
Once all the drugs were bagged up they sat back and just looked at it scattered all over the table. Ged moved Lauren from the chair where she was sat. He told her to go and brew up in the kitchen. As she stood Shaun could see her jeans hanging from her arse. Watching her leave the room Ged grabbed at his penis.
“Just got a suck off her, it wasn’t that bad either.” Ged nudged Shaun as his eyes focused on the door. “You’d better shift all that brown out of her way, otherwise the little skank will try and have it away. The dirty smackhead.” Shaun sat forward in his chair, he looked shocked.
“What, is she a baghead now?” Ged raised his eyebrows as he watched the door making sure she wasn’t coming back in the room.
“Yeah, fucking hell she’s been on it for years. She was one of the first people round Harpurhey who I sold it to.” Shaun shook his head and couldn’t believe Lauren had got herself mixed up in the drug world. She was always a top class girl. He wanted to know more and asked further questions.
“Well that’s surprised me. How does someone like her end up on shit?”
Laughter filled the room as Ged chuckled. “I think that was down to me mate. When we set up round here we had to get everyone interested in heroin, so we gave them freebies first just to try it. Lauren tried it a few times and she couldn’t get enough of it. Mind you so did a lot of the others.” Ged reeled off loads of names of kids that Shaun knew and watched his face sink as he told him they were all junkies now. Ged explained how he’d also fancied Lauren years before and they both laughed knowing they fancied the same girl.
Lauren carried the brews back into the front room. She was struggling and Shaun could see her fingers were burning as the others grabbed them from her. Placing the other drinks down on the table she stood up fidgeting about. Ged knew what she wanted and quickly reached over and grabbed a bag of heroin from the table. Throwing it to her, she grasped onto it for dear life. Shaun felt sick inside and wanted to help her. For some strange reason he felt warmth towards her and he knew in time he would help to sort her out. She was too nice to end up like this. The sound of the door slamming could be heard as she left.
The mobile phone was ringing non-stop. Shaun shook the sadness from him. He reminded himself he was a drug dealer and asked Colby if he fancied a walk. This was his first day home and he wanted to see all his old mates to find out what they’d been up to. Colby agreed and grabbed his coat. Ged decided to stay at the house and told them he would man the phone until they got back.
Shaun felt strange. His words were stuck in his throat. He loved the money that drug dealing would bring him but hated what it did to people. As they walked from the flats they hit the main road. Rochdale Road ran right through the estate where he’d been brought up. They both walked for a few minutes and went to a local hangout looking for all his old mates.
Tavistock Square was where all the wheeling and dealing went on. If you ever wanted to find someone or get some hooky stuff, someone in the square would always be able to help you. The square had five lots of shops on it. And a pub situated in the middle of it called the Ark Royal. A few lads could be seen stood near the pub’s entrance. As Shaun recognised a few of his old mates he started shouting.
“Yo lads how’s it rolling?” The youths looked twice at him. They didn’t recognise him at first but when they did they came to his side and playfully pushed him about.
“How’s it going Shaun? Fucking hell you’ve been gone for time. You look well though.” With a grin splattered over his face Shaun tensed his muscles and encouraged them to feel them.
One of the lads who he used to glue sniff with reminded him of the times they spent together tripping. The lad was loud as he broadcasted his story.
“Got any Evo ay Shaun?” Shaun pissed himself laughing and told Colby some of the stories about what happened when they were high on glue. Colby wasn’t saying much and looked each of the lads up and down. Shaun finally introduced him to his old mates and it seemed to clear the air. They all spoke for a while and Shaun looked at a lad walking not far from them. He had to look twice at him as he thought he knew him. The others started shouting at the lad and Shaun looked shocked.
“Ay ya fucking baghead. What ya selling today. Have you got out?” The lad turned to them and started to walk over carrying a white plastic bag. As he reached them he started to pull out lots of different items from the bag.
“I’ve got Mach three blades. Electric toothbrushes, and a few packets of bacon. Do any of yas want any?” Shaun watched the lad’s shaking hand as he held the goods out in front of him. The smackhead looked familiar to Shaun. And then it clicked who he was. It was his old mate Mark. Shaun was in his face.
“Fucking hell Mark how’s it going?” Mark looked at him and he seemed to look right through him. Shaun explained who he was and Mark smiled as he chatted to him.
“Fucking hell you look well. Don’t ya want any blades or owt to shave that bum fluff from round ya mouth?” Shaun punched him playfully.
“Do I fuck, I’m growing a beard.” Mark laughed and started to put all his stuff back in the bag. He stood for a few minutes and you could see he was eager to get away from them. He told Shaun to call to his house when he had time and left them watching him leave. Shaun stood in disbelief.
“Tell ya what, he looks rough. He used to be a right fat cunt in his day.” The lad at the side of him screwed his face.
“Rough isn’t the word? He’s a fucking raving smackhead. What do ya expect?” Shaun shook his head. He seemed to be walking back into an area that even he didn’t recognise anymore. All the people he once knew looked like zombies and they’d sold their souls to heroin. Colby looked fed up. He was skinning up in the doorway. Once he’d finished he urged Shaun to hurry up. They said their goodbyes to his old pals.
“See ya later lads. Ay don’t forget, if ya need any drugs we’re the suppliers around here now not Reece’s crew anymore.” They walked away and Shaun ran into the chippy to grab something to eat, he was starving.
“Can I have chips, pudding and gravy please, and a buttered muffin?” The lady behind the counter waddled to get his order. She looked fed up and you could tell her heart wasn’t in the job. He watched her wrap up his food and she placed the plastic fork on top of it. Once he’d paid her he said goodbye, she never replied.
As they walked up towards the local park Shaun scranned his food. He hadn’t eaten anything all day. Once he’d finished he tossed the tray onto the floor as he walked. In the distance he could see a few kids sat messing about. His idea was to tell as many people in the area that they were the drug suppliers now. When they got nearer Colby pointed out that Lauren who was at the flat earlier was stood in the distance.
Something inside Shaun wanted to help her. He knew what she was but he wanted to save her. His pebble was in his tracksuit bottoms. As he reached inside he felt the coldness from it. At first Lauren didn’t notice him but as she did she smiled. Her teeth were rotted away and looked minging but that didn’t deter him. Colby informed the crowd of the service they were providing and Shaun sat on the wall next to Lauren. As she spoke she held her hand over her mouth so he couldn’t see her broken teeth.
Shaun gazed into her eyes. He could still see the girl who he’d a had a crush on all those years before. He didn’t feel nervous and spoke to her casually.
“So what have you been up to then?” Lauren dipped her head and felt ashamed of what she’d become. She mumbled a reply and he could see tears appearing in the corner of her eyes.
“Erm. Nowt much. Just trying to get off the shit and that, but it never seems to happen.”
Shaun bit on his lip and his words came from nowhere. “I’ll help you get clean ya know. You can go to the doctors and get some methadone that weans ya off it.” Lauren smiled a
nd grabbed his hands. Her hands looked ancient. They looked wrinkled and full of bruises where she’d injected into her veins.
“I know what I should do, but I just never seem to get there” she mumbled. Shaun was in her face now. He seemed angry.
“What about ya mam and dad won’t they help you?”
Lauren wiped the tears from her eyes and shook her head as her chin fell onto her chest. “No. I’ve done too much to them.” She hid her face in shame as she continued. “I mean I’ve robbed off them and caused them nothing but shit. They want fuck all to do with me since they found out I was on the game.”
Shaun felt sick at her words. He wanted to speak more to her but Colby was at his side pecking his head. He told her to come to the flat later and she agreed. As they left he looked over his shoulder at her and knew she was in deep shit. They both headed back to the flat.
Ged was sat smoking weed when they entered. The living room stunk of it. Colby didn’t mind because he smoked it but Shaun pulled his jumper up to his nose and tried to avoid breathing in the fumes. He’d smoked it in the past but it didn’t agree with him. He always felt himself going under when he smoked weed. The last time he’d smoked it he’d had a panic attack and promised himself he wouldn’t touch the stuff again. Colby started to shout out over the music.
“Ay Ged, Shaun’s got the hots for smackhead Lauren.” Ged chuckled and took a drag from his spliff.
“Arrhhh no way, she’s a dirty slag. Fucking hell Shaun, keep well away from her. She’s alright for a suck every now and then but don’t go fucking falling in love with her.” Shaun went red in the face and twisted his body in the chair.
“Fuck off you two. I just feel sorry for her that’s all. I’ve known her for years.” The sound of the banter between them all filled the room. The mobile phone that sat on the table started ringing and Colby jumped to answer it. He took the order and asked Shaun to deliver it.
