Bagheads

by Woods, Karen

  “Scum that’s all you are. Life isn’t long enough for what he’s done to my family. I hope you burn in hell the pair of you!” The people in the courtroom all stared at Gladys and Katie now. Katie stood up and held her mother’s arm as she started to lead her from the courtroom. The look on her face told Shaky’s family how she felt. Katie screwed her face up at them and raised her two fingers in the air. She could hear them muttering under their breath as she made her way to the large wooden exit door.

  Gladys held onto her as she left the courtroom. She looked as if she might pass out. Katie led her to some nearby chairs. She quickly ran to get her a drink of water from the cafe on the ground floor. Shaun’s mother looked ill. Her face looked like a blanket of white snow had fallen onto it. She held her body back on the chair and struggled to catch her breath. Gladys could be seen exhaling slowly.

  *

  Shaun nodded his head in a cocky fashion as they told him he was now going to Strangeways. He was buzzing that he had now been convicted and was no longer on remand. Shaun was relieved that he wasn’t going back to Preston as he didn’t think he could stand another day there with all the carrot-crunching fuckers. He didn’t know where Colby was being shipped out to but he made a guess that it wouldn’t be the ‘Ways. The last time he saw Colby was when they led him past him ready to be transferred. Colby shook his head at Shaun and just said sorry to him as he passed him. Shaun’s heart went out to him. Even though he’d ruined his life, he still couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

  Strangeways was the local prison in Manchester. Shaun had walked past it so many times in the past. He never thought in a million years he’d be inside it one day. Walking out of the sweatbox into the daylight he looked at all the other convicts for the first time. They all looked the same, hair stuck up and clothes hanging from their bodies. Shaun pulled at his jacket and tried to remain calm. Inside he wanted to scream out and run away forever but he knew this was his reality and he had to face whatever was in front of him.

  The convicts lined up at the reception and were issued some prison clothing. There were no designer names any more for the convicts. Prison issue clothes were all they would have. The screw laughed as he passed an inmate a shirt.

  “Get hold of this lad. It’s Ralph Lauren that one. I’ll just get you some Armani strides to go with it.” The lad didn’t have a sense of humour and grabbed the clothes as the screw chuckled to himself. Next in line was Shaun and he smiled as he took his clothes from the hatch.

  “Have you got these pants in any other colours our kid?” Shaun giggled. The officer loved it and was joined by his mates as they all got in on the joke as well. The screws chuckled.

  “I’ve got pink and pastel blue chuck if that’s what tickles your fancy.” The others started talking in a gay tone now and more of the other prisoners joined in. For a moment Shaun forgot where he was and smiled from ear to ear.

  Once all the lads had all their stuff they made their way to their pads. The prison smelt stale as Shaun walked through it. He gripped his stuff and sunk his chin into the top of it as he walked the landings. One by one the lads were disappearing into their cells and it wasn’t long before Shaun was inside his.

  The cell door opened with a bang and he could see two beds. A large man was lying on one of them. Shaun casually nodded at him as they made eye contact for the first time. The door closed behind him and he walked a few paces to the end of the bed. Once he dropped his clothing onto the side of it, he made his way to the small window between the two beds. He could feel eyes burning into his back and slowly turned around to introduce himself.

  “You alright mate? I’m Shaun.” The other man wobbled as he sat up and held his hand out for him to shake his hand. As he gripped his fingers Shaun turned to check the rest of the room out. The other man introduced himself as Bert. The convict tried to get as much information out of Shaun straight away.

  “How long ya in for mate?”

  Shaun threw himself onto the bed and pressed his back deep into the mattress trying to get comfy.

  “A five stretch mate. How long you in for?” Bert sat on the side of his bed as his stomach hung between his legs like a sack of spuds.

  “I’ve got three long ‘uns left lad. I got seven years shoved up my arse for armed robbery. What you in for?” His eyes narrowed as he waited for a reply. Bert looked relieved when Shaun told him he wasn’t a nonce or anything like that. Shaun told him the story of how he’d landed in jail and watched as his pad mate rolled a wafer-thin cig.

  Examining the cell Shaun pulled his face. He touched the brick walls with his fingertips and commented on the battleship grey colour the walls were painted in. Bert showed him the storage for his clothes and watched as he placed his belongings inside them.

  The small toilet in the cell was at the side of the room. A white wash basin stood at the side of it. When it was quiet all you could hear the droplets of water falling from the silver taps. Bert laughed as he told him he would get used to the noise in time and told him how it helped him get to sleep some night.

  Strangeways was a notorious Manchester prison. A lot of hard criminals had spent time there. The door to the cell opened and Bert told him it was time to stretch his legs. Waiting for his lead, Shaun followed closely behind him like a lost sheep.

  Lots of cell doors faced him as he walked onto the landing. He could see lots of inmates making their way down the steel staircase in the middle of the prison. The prisoners all seemed to have a similar look about them. They all had stubble around their faces and their hair all seemed like it needed a good cut. A few lads nodded at him as he walked behind Bert. Shaun looked apprehensive as he took in his new surroundings.

  Holding the cold handrail he made his way to the ground floor. Shaun stood against the wall and watched a few lads running for the pool table. Other games were available but the playing cards seemed favourite. The noise of everyone speaking soon filled the room. Shaun felt like a spare part at first but some of the lads welcomed him with open arms into prison life. A man nearby shouted at him.

  “Ay, mate. Grab a chair and get your bony arse sat over here next to me.” Shaun smiled and welcomed the friendship. The man looked thin and his high cheek bones made his eyes look like piss holes in the snow. His hair looked that thick with grease that you could have fried an egg on it. The inmates watched Shaun as he sat down. They quickly dealt him in a hand of cards. Some of them were guarding their cards as if their lives depended on it. Rolled up cigs were pushed in the middle of the table as stakes. Shaun looked embarrassed as they searched his face for his contribution to the kitty. He placed his cards faced down on the table and leant back into his seat. Shaun told them he hadn’t got his canteen yet so he couldn’t play. A voice from behind him piped up and he could see three rolled up cigs being thrown onto the middle of the table.

  “I’ll stand him until he gets sorted.”

  Shaun turned his head towards the voice and shit himself. He recognised Ged straight away. Standing from his chair Shaun prepared to fight him. Ged looked gaunt and half the size he remembered him in the past. His old friend stood at the side of him and refrained from any eye contact for now. Shaun felt his body shaking. He was surprised when Ged told him to sit back down and play the cards he’d been dealt. Cautiously Shaun sat back down but he kept one eye on Ged at the side of him. His heart was thumping inside his chest.

  Half of Shaun wanted to get it over with there and then, but as the card game went on he realised he had nothing to fear from his former best friend. Once the game was over Shaun stood from his seat and headed for the toilet. He could feel the warm breath of someone following him and quickened his pace. Shaun unzipped his pants and stood at the urinal. As he turned his head he could see Ged stood at the door watching his every movement. Shaun shook his nob and slowly zipped up his pants. Ged chuckled.

  “Fucking hell. Long time no see. I heard you’d be getting time but I didn’t expect to see you in the Ways. Where’s that black
cunt Colby? He still owes me money ya know?” Shaun walked to his side and shrugged his shoulders.

  “They shipped him out somewhere. I don’t know where he is yet but he’ll be in at another Cat A jail won’t he?”

  Ged screwed his face up and rubbed his mate’s hair as he tried to get past him. “Well I hope they don’t send him here because I’ll rip his fucking head off, thinking he can have me over.” Shaun couldn’t be arsed with him and walked from the toilet area but Ged followed him mumbling at the back of him. Shaun sat near a few other prisoners and Ged joined him. He was all over him like a rash. When Ged spoke Shaun looked at his face and slowly shook his head in disbelief.

  “Why don’t you get moved into my pad ay?”

  Shaun gasped and spoke in a low voice into the side of Ged’s ear.

  “Are you forgetting something ya daft cunt?” his eyes burned into Ged’s face. It was obvious that he knew what he was talking about but he tried to make light of the matter. He placed his hand on Shaun’s shoulder.

  “Mate, that wasn’t my fault. She was a smackhead no matter what she told you?”

  Shaun’s anger spilled over and he threw his arm from his body.

  “She was my smackhead who was carrying my fucking baby you twat. You killed her and like I said I’ll never forgive you. So do ya self a favour and fuck off out of my face.”

  Ged hung his head and sighed. The other inmates heard the shouting and watched them eagerly. Ged lifted his head and stared into space thinking. He chewed on his lip as if the words were stuck in his mouth. A few minutes passed and Shaun lit a cig. His body was trembling inside and every drag he took seemed to calm him down. His eyes focused on Ged and he could tell he was struggling.

  Association time was nearly over and Shaun let his guard down. As he spoke about his life since they parted his face looked sad. Ged was now his only back-up in the jail and he knew he had to keep him on his side. He told him of the crime he’d committed and spoke about Colby.

  “He’s off his head now ya know? Couple of butties short of a picnic he is.” Ged was hanging on his every word as Shaun told him the details of the murder. Once Ged was up to date on it all he coughed loudly.

  “Fucking hell. His head must be well fucked. I mean, to meet the cunt who abused you years later and know he was still doing it.” Ged shook his head and sighed. “Fuck me man that’s some heavy shit to deal with.” Shaun agreed.

  The screw came over to them both and told them it was time to head back to their cells. Ged stood up as if he’d shit his pants. The screw looked at Ged and laughed.

  “What’s up with you lad?” Ged kicked his foot into the floor as he spoke. He had a smirk across his face.

  “Can ya get my mate padded up with me or what? The pad-mate I’ve got at the moment is a scruffy twat. He doesn’t have a wash for days.” Ged scowled. “Come on mate, sort us out will ya?” The screw was a middle aged man. He was well-built and going slightly grey. He was an alright guy and all the inmates got on with him well. He softly pushed Ged towards his cell.

  “I’ll see what I can do, but I’m not promising anything. Fucking hell you lot think its Butlin’s in here.” Ged smiled and looked at Shaun.

  “He’s alright him Shaun. I know he’ll do his best for us.” Ged winked at the screw as they left each other’s side.

  As the inmates walked up the big steel staircase you could hear banter going on between them. Life in the Ways was hard but all prisoners could do was make the most of their time behind bars.

  Some of them looked hard as fuck. Shaun wondered what they were all in for. An old man now barged past him on the way up the staircase. Shaun was ready to knock the old cunt out until a guy at the side of him told him to leave it. He explained as Shaun stood with an anguished look spread across his face.

  “Mate, just leave him to it. He’s always like that. The prick’s got some serious issues. He done his wife and kids in ya know?” Shaun froze on the staircase as he held onto the cold iron banister. The lad at the side of him smiled and continued walking as he filled him in on the other inmate’s crimes.

  “Come on lad he won’t hurt you. His bark isn’t as bad as his bite.” Shaun’s legs felt like bricks had been tied around them and he was finding it hard to move. The reality of prison life started to hit him hard. He held his shirt open as he climbed to the top of the stairs. Shaun felt like he was in a bubble and he was walking on fresh air. The screw urged him to hurry up but his legs weren’t functioning properly. His cell door was already open. As he went inside it the door was slammed behind him. Shaun collapsed onto the bed and kicked his shoes from his feet. They felt like they were on fire. Looking round the pad his mind was working overtime and he had cabin fever. A wave of emotion passed through his body and he ran to the toilet away from Bert’s eyes.

  The toilet stank of shit. Bert must have just dropped a load before he entered. The walls felt like they were closing in on him. Shaun held both his hands over his mouth to try and cover his emotions but he was sobbing loudly. His body fell to the floor as he gripped the toilet basin. Bert could be heard outside and he was now kicking the bottom of the door. He shouted in a concerned voice.

  “You alright in there son?” Shaun blew his breath through his hands and spoke in a distressed voice.

  “Yeah mate. My guts are off that’s all.” Bert walked from the door and the sound of the radio playing could be heard. It was ironic really because Shaun’s favourite band The Smiths were playing. “This Charming Man” filled the toilet walls. Shaun sat with his back against the toilet door and held his head on the top of his knees. His body was shaking from top to bottom. As he looked at the walls he spoke in a low voice.

  “For fuck’s sake. Please get me through this.” Each painted brick looked at him as if they felt his pain. Wiping his eyes on his sleeve he stood up and had a piss. The sound of the toilet flushing made Bert watch the door. As Shaun appeared he knew he’d been upset by the state of his eyes. He’d seen bigger men than him cry in the past and gave him some words of comfort.

  “Listen pal. It’s early days yet. Everyone has their down days you know. It will get better in time trust me.” Shaun stretched his arms over his head and headed for the small window. The wind on his face made him close his eyes as he spoke.

  “Yeah, I know Bert. I’m just having a bit of a shite day that’s all. It’s fucking hard innit? One minute you’re outside with ya mates and the next you’re in this fucking shit hole locked up all fucking day.” Bert sat on his bed and felt like he needed to help him.

  “Shaun, I was the same you know. Even now I still have days when I just wanna do myself in and end it all. You have to keep your chin up son and get through it the best you can.” Shaun listened to his wise words. His hands gripped the bars inside the window. You could see his knuckles turning white as he pulled at them. Finally he turned and flung himself onto his bed. Pulling the thin blankets over his head he hid from the world and secretly wished he would die in his sleep. Bert shook his head as he watched him. Picking up his newspaper he continued reading.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Ged lay on his bed and smiled at Shaun as he returned from his exercise. Quickly jumping up to the door, Ged placed his hands down his boxers and stuck his fingers into his arse hole. Shaun was watching and wondered what the fuck he was doing.

  A small package was now in his hand. Ged held it from his body as he ran to the sink. He quickly returned and showed Shaun the smack he’d just got in from a visit. Ged had been on heroin now for over a year. At first he just took it to help him get through the days in Strangeways but now he took the drug because his body rattled for it. Shaun had watched him a few times toot the drug but he never wanted to try it. Ged started to tell him about the visit he’d had earlier and how he got the drugs inside the prison.

  “Angela was a walking wreck mate. She was shaking from head to toe.” Ged had Shaun’s full attention and carried on talking. “Good job that fucking dog wasn’t on duty today
because it would have smelt the shit in Angela’s knickers.” They both sat laughing. Ged continued. “She said they searched her from top to bottom as well, but she stuck it into her bra the cunning twat.” Shaun was watching Ged as he was setting up to get his fix. He watched as he found the silver foil that he’d saved from his Kit-Kat earlier in the day. Ged guarded it with his life. He kept a low voice as he spoke.

  “Yeah the visit was sound. Only a few screws were on duty today. Took me ages though to get the drugs from her tits and get it plugged up my arse.” Shaun’s eyes never left Ged’s face as he watched him toot from the foil. He could see the pleasure he was feeling as he fell back onto the bed.

  Ged looked in a trance as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. Shaun felt something inside him and held onto his stomach. His head was in bits and although he knew it was heroin Ged was messing about with, he also wanted to take the pain away he felt inside too.

  Not long after, he succumbed and before long he was tooting the smack. Shaun looked white and his body managed to sink back onto his bed as he melted into the mattress. Now his body looked relaxed. Finally he spoke to Ged who was now lying on his own bed chilling.

  “Fucking hell mate, I feel so relaxed.” Ged gave no reply and lay staring into space. Both inmates were now junkies. Shaun never knew that this day would haunt him for the rest of his life. There was no going back.

  Morning came and Ged looked rough. As his eyes focused on Shaun, he smiled. Being a smackhead was a lonely life and now that his friend was on the gear too he knew there would be more chance of getting a fix. They spoke about his first experience of heroin and Shaun felt ashamed that he’d given into it. He couldn’t hide the fact that he enjoyed it though. It took him to a place that was peaceful and free of misery.