Your Honor

by Kristi Pelton

  “No, Your Honor,” I said softly, and all other parties stayed silent.

  “Hearing nothing further, this matter is in recess,” Jenner gruffly spat out and stormed from the courtroom, file in hand.

  “Wow, he seems even testier than normal,” Deb whispered.

  Offering a nervous smile, I stacked my papers, not caring anymore about their organization. I’d organize and take notes of what happened when I returned to my office. When my brain could work again. I silently prayed my legs would get me there.

  “Hey, Lucy. It wasn’t you. You did nothing wrong,” Deb said, sliding her file in her briefcase.

  Oh my God. If she only knew. If she only knew? If anyone knew! My breakfast from earlier churned in my stomach, threatening to come right back up.

  “Lucy? You ok?”

  “Yep. Just taking it all in. My first official court appearance.”

  Free from the courtroom and finally in the hall, the air cooled my face as I walked. My erratic breaths were starting to settle, but my brain synapses couldn’t keep up with the mile-a-minute activity snapping off. The second I got to my desk, I found my cell phone to see if there was something…anything… from Jenner. There wasn’t. Weber? So, he was related to Supreme Court Justice Weber… like United States Supreme Court Judge… Fuck me.

  That night at home, I kept my phone by my side. Hoping. Waiting. Dreading. I started to text him fifteen times. I typed out long texts, shorts texts and finally, I settled for simple.

  Jenner?

  Chapter 4

  ETHICAL CODE

  JENNER

  When my phone vibrated, I knew immediately it was Lucy. I literally never texted. Rarely. Only with the guys. Texts can and will be used against you in a court of law. I opened the text right away. I wanted to know what she had to say. Fuck, I had wanted to text her all day. Email. Call. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.

  As I poured myself some bourbon, my mind reeled with the reality of what had happened. Nearly nine million people in the county and I just happen to fuck the new assistant DA assigned to my courtroom? I relaxed back in my recliner with my dick hard as a rock as I thought about her wearing that black little pencil skirt and pressed blue blouse. Her body would fit anything perfectly. Including me.

  I downed the amber liquid quicker than usual; that nice Kentucky bourbon hugged my throat. How did I not see her being a lawyer? Never once did attorney cross my mind. She was such a funny, free spirit in bed. Out of bed too. Yet, as I lay there, I realized how she challenged me. Her texts about Castaway and Wilson and not letting the volleyball go. Her wit. Here was someone I could really engage with on more than a physical level. Fuck!

  I glanced at her text once again, thinking about her hands…her fingers typing it out. I thought about her hands as they gripped my cock. Her hands as they cupped my balls. Her hands clawing at the sheets four nights ago as I took her from behind. She was so damn tight. If I engaged tonight, knowing what I knew at this point, my ass would be on the line even more than before. Listening to her verbalize the State’s claims today in her petition and reason for removal had been difficult. I actually had to fight hard to pay attention to her words. I knew she had been as flustered as I. Composure had to be maintained. So I did. I certainly couldn’t recuse myself from my cases—I somehow had to get her off the CINC rotation in the DA’s office. Though, the credibility of the cases we worked together until such time would be in question with the ethics board if someone found out.

  I opened my law book and read: Professional Code of Ethics: Canon 3E/Rule 2.11(A) –Disqualification may be required if, under the general “catchall” standard, a judge’s impartiality might reasonably be questioned if –Presiding over cases involving an attorney with whom the judge had a romantic relationship.

  My father would turn over on his supreme bench if he knew what was happening. He had been my age when he reached district court status and quickly moved up to appeals and circuit court. The bar was set when the last president appointed him to the Supreme Court. And it was because of my father that I was forced to become a judge, and even more because of him that I hadn’t had a serious relationship my entire life. Douglas James Henry Weber was a shit father and an even shittier husband. I wanted no part of either marriage or fatherhood because of him.

  My phone vibrated again. It would be easier if I just hit delete without reading the text, but every part of who I was wanted to know what she had to say. After this weekend and my time with her, I thirsted for her words.

  Please say something…

  Irritated, I tossed my phone on the nightstand, rolled over and went to bed. Staying strong was my only option if I was going to maintain an ounce of credibility in my profession.

  Chapter 5

  JUDICIAL WARNING

  LUCY

  Two long, torturous days had passed since I’d seen Jenner in court. I stood in the hallway of Division 14 mustering up the courage to go in. In my hands, was a motion to remove a nine-year-old girl from her home. The judge’s signature was a requirement or I wouldn’t be standing in the hallway. His hallway.

  I’d worn my high-waist black slacks today with a white, fitted dress shirt. Great thought went into every single outfit I wore to work just in case Jenner and I crossed paths at some time during my day.

  Exactly as anticipated, this was the day I’d see him again. Two days after he ignored my texts. Courage brewed beneath the surface of my skin as I inhaled the deepest of breaths with eyes closed.

  “You ok, Miss Edwards?”

  Startled by his voice, my eyes shot wide. He walked right past me.

  “Jenner.” His name flooded out in a rush of air. “I’m… I’m sorry,” I stuttered. “I…I mean Judge. Your Honor.” Shit. Shit Shit. I toddled behind him but nearly creamed into him when he pivoted around.

  “Please address me formally here.” His tone was terse.

  “Of course.” I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  At that point, I refused to make eye contact.

  “I assume you need to see me if you’re taking deep breaths in the hallway. Please come in.”

  Blood invaded my cheeks. Seriously, being caught taking breaths? He strolled through his office, addressed his administrative assistant as did I with a timid smile, then we both walked into his chambers. The walls decorated only with simple, black-framed diplomas, certificates and credentials of why he sat on the opposite side of the bench as I.

  “Have a seat.”

  I sat. I could smell him and I’d never wished for sensory deprivation more. I didn’t want to see him, smell him, taste him, hear him or touch him. Zero. Actually, I wanted all of that.

  Once he relaxed into his chair, I stared at him. Just stared.

  “What did you need, Miss Edwards?”

  “Oh.” I shot a glance toward the other room where his assistant sat. “I’m sorry. I have an Ex Parte order and a Motion to remove I’d like you to look at, please.”

  When I handed him the paperwork, our fingers brushed each other’s. I couldn’t help it; our eyes met then. And there was nothing I could do to pull my stare from his, after the fact. His beautiful, dark eyes flickered from my eyes to my mouth. Without thinking, my tongue slipped out between my lips, moistening them. Following a long thirty seconds, he blinked—desire… memories…possibilities… faded. I took a casual step back as he reviewed the papers. Both of our professional facades back in place, his more than mine.

  With his pen, he scribbled notes on the side of the motion, then signed it and the order. If things were based on what I was feeling, I’d ask for another night in the penthouse suite. Even though I couldn’t really afford the room but my thoughts and words got stuck in my throat.

  After he signed everything, then reviewed it again, he handed it back to me. His desk seemed like an entire country wedged between us.

  “Judge, I’m running up to division 6. I’ll be back.”

  His eyes didn’t leave mine. “Ok. Thank you, Sara.”

&n
bsp; When I heard the outer door close, I breathed a little freer. Our audience was gone.

  Immediately, he stood. “Ms. Edwards. You can NOT slip and call me Jenner,” he said softly, refusing to look at me.

  “I know. I know. I’m sorry.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t want apologies. I want compliance.”

  The terse words stung. All of his words made sense now. The wealth words or whatever it was he called it. The way he spoke. The way he carried himself. No names. No professions. Everything from our night together fell into place. He didn’t text—no trail of evidence.

  “Is there something else, Ms. Edwards?”

  This time his words brought me out of my thoughts.

  “Pardon me?”

  His jaw was tight. “Do. You. Have. Something. Else?”

  I shook my head, tears stinging my eyes. God, he was being a total dick. “No. No, sir.”

  “Please close the door as you leave.” He swiveled around to his computer, dismissing me not only with his words but with his actions as well.

  I stood, shocked. No mention of our night. No kindness. Nothing.

  Once out of his office, I inhaled and exhaled repeatedly. Breathed in anger, breathed out hurt. Fuck you, Jenner. Fuck you!

  Chapter 6

  DIRECT EVIDENCE

  JENNER

  “What the hell is wrong with you today?” Alex asked, throwing a towel at me as the sweat trickled down my face and dripped off my nose.

  “Nothing’s wrong,” I lied, panting, trying to beat my personal best on the assault bike. I hated the bike—CrossFit’s own torture device. Give me the rower. Ski machine or running any day. But, today, I deserved torture. My quads cried out as I pedaled, but that pain was mild compared to the scream of my lungs. I glanced across the room at the puke bucket. It had been a long time since I’d puked.

  How the hell did this happen? My intentional curtness with Lucy had hurt her. I saw it in her eyes. I saw it in her expression. She deserved so much more than me. The day she left me in that hotel room, I prayed I’d never see her again, knowing that after only 24 hours with her…she’d stolen a piece of me. An achievement no other woman had ever accomplished. I should never have sent that damn text about Tom Hanks and Wilson. But, knowing we lived in a sea of people in New York City, who would have thought she’d show up in my damn courtroom.

  There was nothing she would find with me except heartbreak. Marriage wasn’t in the cards, and kids weren’t even in the same deck. Raised by Satan himself, I’d seen firsthand the epitome of a fucked-up marriage, and I wanted no part of it.

  “Seriously, Jenner.” Alex stopped the arms of the bike.

  I glared at him, barely able to catch my breath. “What’s your problem, Alex?”

  “My problem is—I don’t need someone dropping dead in here because they carry in some emotional vendetta and try to take it out on the assault bike. Move on to something else.”

  He didn’t stick around to talk, but I did get off the bike, still eyeballing the bucket.

  When I grabbed the pegs of the pegboard and began my assent up the wall, I couldn’t breathe. The emotion rearing up inside like a volcano pissed me off. This…exercise… CrossFit…was the only thing I knew to do with it. Halfway up the wall, I was spent and couldn’t move the peg another hole. I fell to my back on the mat below staring up at the pegs that no one could reach.

  “Slick, Jenner. Real slick.”

  “Fuck off, Alex.”

  Chapter 7

  CONFLICT OF INTEREST

  LUCY

  Two weeks had passed since I’d seen Jenner. Thoughts of him went through my head at least hourly, sometimes more. A lot times more. Whether it was seeing his name on a document or preparing for a docket or just daydreaming about our time together. I wanted to hate him for the way he treated me…the way he shut me down by basically ignoring me. But, I didn’t hate him. He had shot electrical bolts through my body unleashing a need and desire I never understood or realize existed. I’d fought all temptation to text or reach out to him. Pops used to say it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, but I wasn’t sure about that in this case. If I had never felt the way he made my body come alive, then maybe my heart wouldn’t incurably yearn for him.

  “Lucy. Take this to Judge Weber to get signed. I have to run file a warrant,” the juvenile supervisor directed.

  I could feel the blood drain from my face.

  “I’m swamped. I…”

  “You’re at the bottom of the totem pole. You can be swamped when you get back.”

  I nodded. “Ok,” I said, taking the papers from her.

  “Run it to the clerks office after he signs it.”

  I rolled my eyes where she couldn’t see and slid on my jacket.

  The entire walk over to Jenner’s office I prepared myself, rehearsing in my head how I hoped this would go down. His unpredictability left me clueless as to what to expect, but I braced myself for the worst.

  When I opened the door to his division, his assistant wasn’t there. That made me feel minimally better. My pits were sweating, and I was struggling to ward off the oncoming anxiety attack.

  “Come in.”

  Jenner’s voice came from his office, and the thought of walking around the corner made me sick. Seeing him would bring every feeling rushing back.

  “Hi, Judge. I need to get a paper signed. I’m not sure what it’s referencing but...”

  “Hand it to me.” he interrupted.

  It was like he was an entirely different man than the one I had so readily given myself to. That man was funny and attentive. This man wearing the black robe was a complete asshole.

  “Who prepared this?”

  “I’m not sure. I was asked to run it over since I’m the newbie. Trust me, I didn’t volunteer.”

  His dark eyes darted up to mine, and out of nervous habit my upper teeth came down on my bottom lip.

  “I’m not signing this. The motion isn’t complete.”

  “Fine. I’ll take it back.”

  “Watch your tone, Ms. Edwards.”

  Without the paper in hand, I walked over to the door to make sure his administrative assistant still wasn’t there.

  “My tone? Is my tone really the problem?”

  Jenner dropped the papers onto his desk and folded his arms across his chest, then reclined back in his chair. My heart pounded in my throat.

  “I’m not in the mood to read between the lines, Ms. Edwards. If you have something to say, why don’t you just say it?”

  I’m never speechless. Never. My mind raced. I shot back over to the door to be safe. Still no assistant in sight.

  “Why do you have to be so mean?” My damn voice cracked, angering me but I was able to hold the tears that threatened to fall at bay.

  Jenner’s Adam’s apple jutted out and back in as he swallowed. Then he closed his eyes with a deep inhale. He was going to blow a gasket, and I couldn’t take it.

  “Look. This is so hard. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I said, hoping to prevent the inevitable explosion.

  “Don’t be sorry. We just…” his words trailed off.

  “We just what?”

  “Can’t. And certainly can’t talk about this here. Ever.”

  “I know,” I whispered, and as hard as I fought it, those traitorous tears invaded my eyes. “I had no idea who you were. I just.” I paused, fighting the urge to actually cry. “This was such a shock… and I didn’t know… and now…this is so hard, Judge.”

  “Don’t call me Judge.”

  What? I dropped the folder in my hands and covered my eyes. “I am trying. I swear to God. If you weren’t who you are… and I don’t know how to act around you. One minute you’re biting my head off and…” My erratic words trailed off this time. “I want to see you again. But I get it. I really do. That’s why you blew me off the other night.”

  His eyes narrowed. “I didn’t blow you off, Lucy. Do you understand that I
should recuse myself on every single case that you’re assigned? Do you understand that ethically, this isn’t acceptable? We both could lose our jobs.”

  After a deep breath, I retrieved the folder I had dropped and squared my shoulders. “I understand. I won’t text you again. No one knows about what happened except us. It’s done. Over. No one needs to know it ever happened.” My professional tone surprised me. Peeling my eyes away from him, I turned and forced myself to walk toward the door.

  “Don’t go,” he whispered, his voice closer than I expected.

  Those two words pierced my heart, stopping me in my tracks. Though I wasn’t facing him, I closed my eyes to steady myself. I felt the heat of his body as he placed his hands flush with the wall on either side of me. A silent gasp fled between my lips.

  “Miss Edwards.” His mouth was in my hair. “The ethics board doesn’t care about the tense of our relationship. Past or present. What they care about is that the existence of a relationship could interfere or bias my decisions.”

  I nodded. “I know. I know this can’t happen.”

  “I’m trying my best to figure out how to keep it from happening.”

  His words sparked a glimmer of hope, fanning that smoldering desire that I had been trying futilely to smother.

  “I would never expect special favors. Special rulings. I’d expect nothing less than for you to be fair and impartial.” I gushed, grasping at the lifeline he had tossed me.

  “And you think we could be in court together after having my cock inside of you at night? That would be fair and unbiased, yes?”

  A ripple of tremors quaked through my body with his dirty talk.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted.

  Before I realized it, he’d spun me around and gently pushed me against the wall.