Finding Home

by Meg Harding

  Who’re you kidding? Your motto went out the window the second you found out he liked you.

  “Earth to Chase.” Zane snapped his fingers in front of Chase’s nose, startling him.

  “What?” growled Chase, batting Zane’s hand from his field of vision. “Why’re you even here?”

  “Why am I, a customer, at your place of business?” Zane made a clueless face. “I don’t know.” He tapped his chin. “Could it be I wanted a smoothie, but instead of serving those willing to part with their hard earned money, you’re browsing drunk art classes on your laptop?”

  Chase shut his laptop, and then folded his hands together. He propped his chin on them and smiled the customer service smile he’d perfected. “You have my undivided attention, Zane. I apologize for the delay. How may I help you today?”

  Zane snorted. “Don’t go all fake on me.” He reached around Chase and reopened the laptop. “I want you to tell me why you’re looking for somewhere to drink wine and paint. And then, when you’ve sufficiently satisfied the nosiness in me, you can make me a peanut butter and banana smoothie.”

  Chase pinched the bridge of his nose and prayed for patience. “Coming right up.” He shoved Zane out of the way. “You’re not supposed to be behind the counter.”

  “Pretend I’m on the other side.”

  One of these days, Chase’s eyes were going to be stuck in a permanent roll. He pulled out the ingredients he needed for Zane’s drink. Maybe if he ignored him….

  “I’m waiting, dude.”

  Yeah, Zane wasn't going away till he got answers.

  Chase turned on the blender and motioned at his right ear. He mouthed, “I can’t hear you.”

  Zane looked less than impressed by him, and the second the blender shut off, he resumed pestering Chase.

  Chase turned the blender back on.

  Zane unplugged the cord.

  “Seriously? I thought you wanted a smoothie.” It was like Zane was an annoying five-year-old with a bad attitude, hyped up on sugar.

  Propping his hip against Chase’s counter, Zane crossed his arms and adopted an incredibly smug expression. “I want answers more.”

  “Too bad I don’t want to give them.” He dumped Zane’s smoothie into a cup. Fuck if it was a little chunky. Zane only had himself to blame. Chase wondered if his siblings would be this annoying if they were in close proximity. Growing up, they’d been busy and so had he, and they hadn’t been overly close. They were the type of close that texted each other every few weeks and that was it. Zane texted him everyday and they saw each other.

  Zane sighed, and it was definitely exaggerated. “I want you to remember I gave you a chance to tell the truth. Anyways, a few days ago Jenny Fletcher stopped by the gym to drop her son off for PT. She mentioned seeing your car in Lily-Anne’s drive. This was the morning after your and Jaden’s ‘hike.’” If the emphasis on the word wasn’t enough, Zane air quoted it. “I drove on by later in the evening and your car was still there. Same story the next morning. Except it was confirmed by Jack Ross while I was spotting for him. I’ve had at least one person mention it to me every day since. It’s the talk of the town. I’ve had to listen to several women wax poetic about your smile. You’re so dreamy, and it’s a shame you’re not straight.” The exasperation rang clear as a bell.

  Fucking Serenity. Chase pressed his fingers to his eyes. He should have known it wouldn’t stay on the down low for more than half a second. “So we’re seeing each other. It’s casual.” I’m a big fat liar. “He likes to do artsy stuff, so I’m trying to find something to do he would enjoy.”

  “Like a date.”

  “Yes. We’re casually dating.” Liar, liar, pants on fire. Chase raked his hand through his hair. When had his inner voice become such a nuisance? He’d like it to go back to rarely commenting.

  “I see.”

  “Glad I could provide you with clarity.” He held out the peanut butter banana smoothie. “Here you go. I’m sure the gym misses you.”

  Zane accepted the cup. He reached behind him without looking for the container of straws. His blue eyes were warm and zeroed in on Chase. “Normally I’d stay out of your personal business, but I don’t want you to get hurt. I think this is a bad idea. Like, epically bad.”

  “Shouldn’t you be telling me not to hurt him?”

  “That too. But as I see it, I foresee him doing more damage to you than vice versa. He’s not here to stay.”

  “I know he’s leaving.”

  Zane raised his eyebrows. “Then why get involved?”

  “I’m trying this thing called living in the moment. We’re having fun.” Or maybe he’d lost his mind. Either way, he’d jumped in with both feet.

  This painting thing was simultaneously the best and worst idea Chase had ever had. The place offering the activity was a forty-five-minute drive from Serenity, and Chase couldn't drink if he wanted to return the two of them in one piece. So he had no feasible excuse, other than he sucked, for why his painting was so godawful. He’d even opted for one of the predrawn pictures. He was literally painting by number, and he was steadily reducing the image to a blob of mixed color. Apparently Chase was incapable of staying within the lines.

  Jaden, on the other hand, had been mowing through wine since they arrived and was adorably tipsy. He chose to work with a blank canvas and despite his inebriated state, his painting resembled something—Chase personally felt—should be in an art gallery. He was humming along to the top 40 music on the radio, his body language loose and easy, and a small smile quirking his lips. There was a dash of blue paint on his jaw and the pads of his fingers were discolored from being used to smudge bits of his work.

  He was painting Serenity Beach at sunset. Just looking at the image made Chase feel like he was peering through a window at the real thing.

  Chase glanced at his blob. It was meant to be a flower garden, but he’d been coloring a rose red and the paint had spread, so he’d tried to compensate by making things even and making the rose bigger and it’d all gone to hell. He was scared to touch the few flowers waiting for him to ruin them.

  “You’re really good,” he said to Jaden, watching him meticulously form a wave in intricate detail like it was nothing. There were ripples in the water and white foam frothing at the downward curve.

  Jaden grinned at Chase. His cheeks were flushed from the wine. “Thanks.” His blue gaze flicked to Chase’s painting and he tilted his head, eyes narrowing.

  “A different angle isn’t going to make it look better,” said Chase, trying to keep his ire with his lack of talent from his tone. He knew going into this he wasn’t going to be the next Picasso.

  Jaden’s nose scrunched, not at the painting, but at Chase. “Shush.” He moved his head the other way. “I like it. It’s very abstract.”

  Chase put a hand over his mouth to muffle a snort, pretending to cough instead. It wasn't abstract, Jaden was just drunk. He wasn't going to argue with him, though. He’d rather have fun with it. “Yeah? You can have it. I think it’d look good as a table backdrop or in an entryway.”

  Jaden nodded, eyes wide and sincere. “It would. I can think of you every time I see it.” He looked at his. “You should have mine. I’d like that.”

  There was a sharp tug in Chase’s chest at Jaden’s words. “I think you’ve had a little too much to drink.”

  “I’ve got a very low tolerance,” said Jaden seriously. “Always have. But I feel fine. I’m good.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips softly over Chase’s. “I’m having fun.” He bumped their noses as he pulled away. “I’d like to draw you. You have such an expressive face. And your eyes are like woah. Not to mention your body. You look like a male model with your—”

  Chase clapped a hand over Jaden’s mouth this time, stopping him before he could go any further. He’d love to hear Jaden tell him what he thought about Chase’s body—who didn't love a little praise? — but this really wasn't the place. From the corner of his eye, he could see t
he older woman on the opposite side of the table trying to listen to their conversation. “You can draw me.”

  Jaden bit his palm. Hard.

  Chase yelped, withdrew, and shook it. “What was that for? I said you could draw me.”

  “You’ll think twice before muzzling me again,” said Jaden primly. He ruined his stern, righteous attitude a second later by breaking into giggles.

  Chase couldn't help but smile at him, charmed and all warm and glowy inside. Jaden’s laughter slowly trailed off, and then he hiccuped. Chase’s grin spread, stretching his cheeks till they hurt. It was difficult to make himself look away from Jaden’s relaxed expression, but he managed somehow. It was time to get Jaden halfway to sober. Chase didn't want a hangover in Jaden’s future. His gaze caught on a table in the back corner of the shop. He could see a water pitcher and a few platters. Bingo. “I’m going to get you food. I’ll be right back.”

  “Cheese,” said Jaden. He picked up his paintbrush and pointed it at Chase. “Bring me cheese.”

  “Bossy,” murmured Chase, grazing a kiss over Jaden’s cheek as he stood.

  “You like it,” said Jaden, and damned if his voice wasn't smug.

  Chase had to swallow the heavy lump of emotion lodged in his throat. The Jaden of just two weeks ago wouldn’t have been able to loosen up this much. He’d have never alluded to their sex life in public. Being in Serenity, being away from people who pushed their expectations on him, even for such a short time, had helped Jaden infinitely. Chase wanted to ask Jaden to stay, to point out how much happier he seemed here and now, but he wouldn’t. He knew if he did, he’d be no better than the people Jaden was around in New York. He’d be pushing his wants on Jaden. Influencing him. Chase could hope like hell Jaden would come to the decision to stay all on his own, though.

  “I do,” he said. He squeezed Jaden’s shoulder. He needed to change the subject. “No more wine for you, yeah?”

  Jaden reached up to cover his hand, his body swaying toward Chase till he leaned against Chase’s leg. “Yeah. Can you bring me the nice cheese? With the peppers in it. It’s spicy.”

  Chase ran his fingers through Jaden’s hair—not long by most standards, but long for him now—tugging on the ungelled, soft strands. “Coming right up.” He nudged him upright. “Think you can finish the painting?”

  “If I finish mine, you’ve got to finish yours. I wasn’t kidding. I like it.”

  “All right,” said Chase.

  “Promise?”

  “I promise I’ll finish it for you.”

  Jaden beamed and Chase knew it was in his head, but he swore his heart actually stopped beating for a second.

  Jaden looked like an innocent angel when he slept, and he sounded like a herd of elephants. Fifteen minutes into the drive home, and he’d passed out in the passenger seat snoring loud as could be. His mouth was hanging open, his long lashes fanned out against his pale skin. Sometimes, mid snore, he’d make a snuffling noise that yanked on Chase’s heartstrings and tempted him to say “awwwwwww.” Chase had been sharing a bed with Jaden for several nights now, and he’d never noticed the racket. Either he was the heaviest sleeper in the world, or Jaden was getting sick and this was a warning symptom. Chase wondered if he snored. He’d never had anyone he slept with tell him so.

  He slowed the car as they hit traffic, three lanes narrowing to one thanks to ever present construction. The previously inky black night was lit up with bright flashing lights so drivers knew something was going on and subsequently had to drive five miles an hour because they were blinded. Jaden didn't wake, but he turned his face from the window and a grumpy scrunched expression crossed it. Reaching out, Chase smoothed one of the cranky wrinkles with the flat of his thumb. Jaden sighed in his sleep and his hand twitched, fingers curling.

  Chase withdrew before he could interrupt Jaden’s nap. Jaden hadn’t had any more wine before they left, instead managing to drink two cups of water and eat an entire plate of cheese and crackers, but his eyelids had been drooping and he was radiating exhaustion. Chase knew he was to blame. He’d been keeping Jaden up late and welcoming him to the waking world early—in relaxing yet pretty… energetic ways. He couldn't help himself, though. Jaden wasn't someone easily resisted. At least not for Chase.

  He needed to let him rest.

  Traffic was at a standstill thanks to the usual morons who sped ahead to where the lane disappeared, and then clogged everything up by needing to be let in one by one. While he waited, Chase glanced into the backseat at the paintings laid there. Jaden’s landscape scene was truly a work of art, and if he was this good drunk, Chase would give an arm and a leg to see Jaden’s sober work. He knew exactly where he wanted to hang the canvas in his house—front and center above his bed. His colorful blob lay beside Jaden’s painting. Toward the end of the session, Chase gave up and rolled a paper towel into a ball and splotched paint all over.

  He kind of liked how it turned out.

  He wasn't sure if Jaden’s bizarre fascination with it was wearing off on him or if it was actually somewhat good. It was definitely bright and vibrant.

  Someone honked their horn, and Chase grabbed Jaden in the knick of time to keep him from slamming his head into the window as he startled. He expected Jaden to say something, for his eyes to remain open, but they fluttered closed and he was out cold a minute later. Chase was impressed.

  Once they passed where things had gotten bottled up, traffic began to flow at a promising pace and Chase got them home a little after midnight. He parked the car and stared at Jaden. How to do this nicely? He couldn't leave him in the car. Gently, he shook Jaden’s shoulder. “Babe.” He got no response. “Jaden.” Nothing. “I’m not carrying you inside.” He jostled him, and then leaned in to nuzzle Jaden’s neck. “Wake up.” He drew out the last word, raising his voice at the end.

  “Ugh,” grunted Jaden. “Wha?” His voice was slurred and deeper with sleep, and he arched his neck to give Chase better access.

  Chase laughed against his skin and pressed a kiss to Jaden’s steady pulse before pulling away. “We’re home. You want to sleep in a bed or should I leave you in the car?”

  Jaden blinked, trying to clear the haze from his eyes. “Bed,” he said. “I’m so fucking tired.”

  “I know you are.” Chase kept close to him as they walked to the front door. Jaden’s eyes were hooded and he kind of resembled a zombie or a person who had to get up at four in the morning and try to function without caffeine. It’d be cute if Chase wasn’t concerned he was going to fall over and decide to sleep on the lawn. “How’s your head feel?” He unlocked the door for Jaden after fishing the key from his front pocket.

  “Stuffed.” Jaden knuckled at his eyes. “Wine always makes me feel like this.”

  Chase frowned. “Why didn’t you say something?”

  Jaden waved his concern away. He elbowed Chase aside and entered the house to greet Magneto. The dog was in the midst of silent glee, his entire body shaking as he greeted his owner and his tail acting as a whip.

  “Jaden.”

  The man in question glanced at him from the corner of his eye. “I really like wine. If I was superman, it’d be my kryptonite.”

  His answer surprised a chuckle from Chase, and he rolled his eyes. “You’re ridiculous. You want a shower before you hit the bed?”

  Jaden visibly perked up. “With you?”

  Chase’s cock twitched in his pants, all for Jaden’s idea. Unfortunately, Chase wasn't completely controlled by his dick. “Just showering. No funny business.”

  Jaden pouted, puffing out his bottom lip.

  Chase shook his head. “I like my guys not on the verge of sleep and a hangover. I’ll just be supervising so you don’t knock yourself out.”

  As if to drive Chase’s point home, Jaden nearly fell over when he tried to straighten from petting Magneto. He pointed a slender finger at Chase. “Magneto nudged me. My balance is fine.”

  “I’ve no doubt,” said Chase dryly.
>
  Jaden clasped a hand to his heart. “You wound me.”

  “I like you like this,” admitted Chase, walking forward and backing Jaden up against the wall. He kissed his cheek softly, exercising extreme restraint to keep things chaste.

  Jaden nipped at his jawline, biting a little too hard. “Like what?”

  “Loose and relaxed, delirious from exhaustion. It’s a whole new side of you.” He smiled against Jaden’s skin and laughed a little.

  Jaden shoved at him, hands on Chase’s pecs, but it was half-hearted at best. “I’m comfortable with you. With each day I show you a little more.” He kissed Chase’s Adam’s apple and then sighed a warm puff of air onto Chase’s neck. “You make me want to indulge my inner dork. I’ve worked really hard to suppress him, you know?”

  Chase’s heart felt like it cracked right down the center. He tugged Jaden in, swallowing him in a tight hug. He was overwhelmed by too many emotions at once. He wanted to hide his expression before it revealed all of his feelings to Jaden and complicated this even more. He buried his face against Jaden’s neck. “I know.”

  Chase was surrounded by heat. It was curling through his blood and clinging to his skin. He shifted restlessly, trying to get closer. This wasn't the kind of warmth that came from too many bedcovers. He wanted to chase this. There was a weight on top of him, pressing him down, pinning him in place. It was moving, but it wouldn’t let him budge at all. Chase grumbled his discontent.

  Something soft was brushing over his face, down his neck, further… further.

  Chase’s eyes flew open.

  “Morning sleeping beauty,” said a familiar voice, hoarse with the aftereffects of sleep. The words were breathed over the sensitive skin of Chase’s lower belly, causing Chase to suck his stomach in with a twitch. He was going to say something—he wasn't sure what—but Jaden sucked him down, mouth hollowing around him. The insides of his cheeks felt like velvet against the tip of Chase’s cock and it made him groan. He tried to arch his hips, but Jaden held them down, fingers digging in.