The Year We Became Invincible

by Mae Coyiuto

  “Ian, you’ve got to see this. It’s so beautiful.”

  Ian still had his eyes closed shut. “I like darkness. Darkness is beautiful.”

  “Trust me, you’re safe.”

  He opened one of his eyes, and his grip loosened. All he said was, “Wow.”

  When we stabilized, Ian was able to relax more. Piloting the ultralight wasn’t as complicated as I thought it would be. You steer it with a control that looks like a joystick. David showed me how to go up, down, left, and right.

  “You can also do a dive if you do this,” David instructed me.

  “No dives!” Ian said.

  “Okay, no dives. Do you want to try it out?” David asked me.

  I grabbed the control and put my feet on the pedals. I couldn’t believe that I was controlling the plane. It gave you a sense of power.

  “Hang on, Ian!” I cried.

  I quickly jerked the control, and we swerved to the left. Ian was cursing and screaming. I stabilized the plane and let David take over again.

  “Cam, I’m going to kill you.”

  “God, Ian, don’t be so uptight.”

  I saw that David was biting his lip and trying so hard not to laugh. I started laughing, and David burst out laughing. I thought I even heard Ian laugh a bit, too.

  For dinner, Gabby picked this really fancy restaurant to eat in. It was the kind of restaurant where they served bite-sized portions and charged mega-size prices. I think we were the youngest ones there. Felix sat beside me again.

  “What are we having tonight, ma’am?” the waiter asked.

  “We’ll get one of everything,” Gabby said.

  “Of course,” the waiter said.

  I found how Gabby ate fascinating. She only took one bite of each dish.

  “Does she always eat like that?” I asked Felix.

  “Gabby likes to try everything,” he said.

  During dinner, Gabby wanted to play another round of “21 Questions.”

  “What’s your best memory? Go.” she asked.

  “Watching my dad play basketball for the first time,” Felix said.

  “Traveling around Asia with my dad,” Gabby said.

  “Watching Snow White,” Rica said.

  “Is that your favorite movie?” I asked.

  “Rica hates all Disney princess movies,” Gabby said.

  “Why is that your best memory then?” I asked.

  “I was six and I knew everything that was going to happen. It was so predictable. I also hated the whole concept of a true love’s kiss. She wasn’t even conscious when she met the ‘prince.’ Anyways, after I was done watching, I thought to myself, ‘That was such a huge waste of my time.’ I decided then that I wanted to make movies that were worth watching. I wanted to make movies that stimulated the mind. That’s when I decided I wanted to be a director.”

  “You thought all of this when you were six?” Ian asked.

  “Yes, I did. Girls develop faster than boys, Ian.”

  Ian rolled his eyes and asked, “How about you, Cam? What’s your best memory?”

  Studying with Ian. Watching the concert with Ian. Flying the plane with Ian’s arms suffocating me. Thank god, he couldn’t read my mind.

  “I don’t really know,” I said.

  “There must be something! Isn’t there one vivid memory that you keep reliving over and over?” Gabby asked.

  “I guess it was my first ballet recital.”

  “Tell us about it,” Gabby said.

  “Well, I remember being really nervous. I was always singled out and scolded during ballet class, so I didn’t think I was any good. But when I was on stage, it was different. I still remember the song…Clair de Lune. I can still hear it sometimes. I felt free on stage. Nobody was correcting me anymore. I was listening to the music, and I danced my heart out.”

  “Now, that’s a best memory!” Gabby said.

  “How about you, Ian?” Rica said.

  “Hm. I think it was the day I met Gabby.”

  Rica made a fake gagging sound. Gabby punched Ian on his shoulder, but it was the loving kind of punch. I really wanted Ian to not be with Gabby. I feel bad for feeling this way. I hate feelings.

  When we were about to head back, I realized that I forgot my phone. Ian offered to go back with me. When we returned to the restaurant, I saw Lea. She was on a table in the far corner with a woman I had never met. I had never seen Lea so dressed up. It looked like it was just the two of them.

  “Lea!” I called out.

  “Camille!”

  She sounded really surprised.

  “I thought you were on a business trip.” I said.

  “Oh…I was…I am. I’m just having…dinner out.”

  “Oh, this is Ian.” I said.

  “Hi, Ian.” Lea said.

  “Hello. Nice to meet you.”

  I was waiting for her to introduce the person she was with, but it seemed like she forgot.

  “Hi, I’m Camille, Lea’s sister.”

  “Hi, I’m Annie. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  “It’s getting pretty late. Shouldn’t you be home by now?” Lea said.

  “Oh…yeah…maybe we should. See you when you get back?” I said.

  “See you.”

  Thankfully, my phone was still on the table. Ian looked like he was about to say something.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “Nothing,” he said.

  “I know you were going to say something.”

  “It was nothing. Let’s go. They’re waiting for us.”

  The night was pretty uneventful after that. I still have no idea what Ian was going to say.

  Looking forward to meet you,

  Camille

  Dear Future Partner,

  Everyone has quirks. I know that.

  But when you’re with someone, are you supposed to like their quirks or like them despite their quirks? It was getting harder to do either with Felix.

  He is nice. He is perfectly nice. It’s just that perfectly nice annoys me most of the time.

  He texts all the time. I don’t even check my phone anymore because it keeps buzzing. But when I don’t reply, he always asks if he did anything wrong. I lied to him once and said that my phone was broken and wasn’t receiving messages. Now, he sends every message twice. He also always ends his messages with a smiley face. He would say:

  “Why aren’t you replying? :)”

  “Game tonight. Our team lost. :)”

  “K. :)”

  He would add a smiley, even though I know he wasn’t happy. It drives me nuts.

  Everything we did was always about basketball. If we weren’t watching a game live, we were watching a game on TV. If we weren’t watching a game on TV, I was watching his high school game. If I wasn’t watching his game, I was watching him train. If we weren’t doing anything that was related to basketball, he was talking about basketball. Considering all of these, it’s amazing how little I know about the sport. I tend to space out and nod a lot.

  I thought that being with Felix would make me think less about Ian. It had the opposite effect. Whenever Felix talked about basketball, I thought of what Ian would talk about. When my phone rang, I hoped I would see Ian’s name. This sounds bad, but whenever Felix kissed me…I thought about what it would be like if Ian kissed me.

  Maybe, I need to give it time. Despite everything, Felix is really sweet. I need to focus harder on that sweetness. Why is it so hard?

  Sorry, I have to cut this short. Felix texted me if I wanted to watch a replay of a game. Ugh. I think it’s really sweet.

  Looking forward to meet you,

  Camille

  Dear Future Partner,

  There’s nothing like Christmas. It is my favorite time of the year. It felt greater this year because I turned in my college application. Despite that, I was keeping myself busy with making gifts. Instead of a Christmas party, Gabby wanted to throw an “Apocalypse Party.” We were going to prepare our own sur
vival kits. Each of us was going to give a gift that we would want each other to have if the apocalypse did happen.

  Ever since the night after the concert, the school (after hours) became our meeting place. When we got there, we all put our gifts into the kits Gabby made. We decided to have a movie marathon, too. All of us picked the usual end-of-the-world zombie apocalypse movies to go with the theme. But Rica picked something different.

  The movie was hard to watch. I didn’t think it had a plot. It was basically a guy who walks into the meadow and undresses. Then he starts touching himself. That lasted for about an hour. I was so confused. Was he thinking of someone or was he really turned on by the meadow? Does it even take guys that long?

  “How did you like it?” Rica asked.

  Why was she asking me first?

  “Um…I liked it.”

  “You made us watch porn,” Ian said.

  “How is it porn?” Rica asked.

  “Well, I think the main character of the movie is the guy’s junk.”

  “Women flash their boobs onscreen all the time, and people don’t complain. Why does it suddenly become porn when a guy shows off his junk?” Rica said.

  “Even though the boobs add a great deal of artistic value, they’re not the whole point of those movies. I don’t even understand what this movie is about.”

  “Exactly! It makes you think! It’s going against the portrayal of women as sexual objects in film.”

  “I didn’t really understand the plot,” Felix said.

  “It doesn’t need to have a plot,” Rica said.

  “But it had a climax,” Ian laughed.

  “Okay. Before these two start fighting again, let’s see what’s inside our survival kits,” Gabby announced.

  Gabby gave everyone walkie-talkies, Rica gave disposable cameras, Felix gave Swiss knives, and Ian gave toilet paper.

  “Toilet paper?” Gabby asked.

  “In the span of a lifetime, the average human spends about three years on the toilet. Getting closer to dying doesn’t stop us from you know—going. Always prepared,” Ian said.

  “What’s this?” Gabby said while picking up my gift. I wished I could’ve switched it. It was so unlike what everyone else gave.

  “Sorry I’m not so artistic, but I made each one of us bracelets.” I said.

  “What does it say?” Rica asked.

  “Invincibles,” Felix read.

  “Yeah, I thought our group should have like a name.”

  “I always thought we were going to be the ‘Junkies,’” Rica said.

  “Like drug junkies?” Felix asked.

  “No, like adrenaline junkies!” Rica sighed.

  “Why ‘Invincibles’?” Gabby asked.

  “It’s stupid.” I said.

  “C’mon tell us!” Gabby pleaded.

  “It’s something I’ve been thinking about lately…You know when you’re a kid, a lot of people keep telling you ‘you’re the future’ or ‘you can do anything.’ I started to doubt all of that when I grew up. Reality becomes clearer when you grow up. You start to set these limits—these limits that dictate who you should be and what you should do. These limits build up over the years, and you don’t want to think beyond them. You don’t want to go beyond because it’s terrifying. You don’t know who you become past these limits, and that’s really terrifying. I felt that fear during our adventures, but I learned that it’s okay to be scared. Fear is okay if you don’t let it take over. When I did things despite that fear, that’s when all these limits didn’t matter. For the first time, I actually believe that I can do anything. I’m different when I’m with you guys. I’m…I’m invincible.”

  I don't think I had ever said so much at one time. I sat there for a while, waiting for anyone to say anything. Then Ian got up, put on the bracelet, and raised his fist. “Invincibles.”

  I was tired when I got home, but it was the fulfilled kind of tired. At midnight on the dot, my phone buzzed. It was Ian.

  “Happy Apocalypse Day! Glad you’re all alive and didn’t perish in a lake of fire, Invincibles!”

  I texted him back, “Glad you’re alive, too!”

  And I really meant it.

  Looking forward to meet you,

  Camille

  Dear Future Partner,

  For the past few weeks, I’ve always felt like there was something missing. I missed ballet. A lot. I finally called up Jenny to ask if I could ride with her to ballet practice that day.

  “Have you talked to Teacher Jessie?” she asked.

  “No. Why?”

  “She was asking why you were gone a lot of times, but I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.”

  “I hope so.”

  My muscles were really tight. My joints felt like they were creaking, but it felt so good to be back. While we were warming up on the barre, Teacher Jessie called my name.

  “Camille! Come over here.”

  I walked to the center of the room.

  “Why haven’t you been coming to practice?”

  I didn’t really know what to answer. If I were completely honest, I would have told her that I didn’t feel like going, but that didn’t sound like a good enough excuse.

  “Ma’am, I just thought I had had enough practice.”

  “Ballet dancers never believe that they have enough practice.”

  “I was just gone for a few weeks…I’m sorry ma’am.”

  “Everything a dancer’s body learns and goes through a day is lost after twenty-four hours. Missing ‘a few weeks' lost you years of training.”

  “I’m sorry. I really had a lot on my plate. I had the SATs, college application, homework, and my body was really tired…”

  “Look at your co-dancers!”

  “It’s also been crazy at home…” I babbled on.

  “I said look at your co-dancers!”

  I looked at them, and they stopped dancing. They were all staring back at me.

  “All of these girls have the same obligations that you do. Some of them even have more. Unless they’re deathly sick or in some grave emergency, every single one of them doesn’t miss my practices. Do you think I look forward to coming here every day? Do you think there aren’t days when I don’t feel like going through the two-hour commute? I have a five-year-old daughter who asks me why I don’t pick her up from school. There are days when I would rather go see my daughter, instead of teaching and shouting at all of you. I can make excuses. I can make a hundred excuses. But I don’t. I choose to be here because I want to help young dancers get better. I want all of the girls who come here to reach what they’re aiming for. That, Camille, is what you call commitment.”

  Teacher Jessie didn’t say anything for a while, so I started walking back to the barre.

  “Pack up your things, Camille,” she said.

  “Ma’am?”

  “You’re talented. You’ve always been talented. But my class only has room for committed dancers.”

  I packed up my things and left. I didn’t look back. I didn’t even answer Jenny’s calls after. I was thinking about talking to Dad about everything because he always knew what to say. When I got home, all I could hear was shouting. My dad was shouting, my mom was shouting, and Lea was shouting. I didn’t even pay attention to what they were fighting about, so I shut myself in my room.

  I think I really lost something special.

  Looking forward to meet you,

  Camille

  Dear Future Partner,

  I think something really bad happened to Lea. During dinner the other day, I noticed that the dining table was only set for four. I saw Mom, Dad, and Nikki.

  “Is Lea on another business trip?” I asked.

  No one answered me.

  “Where’s Lea?” Nikki asked.

  No one answered again. I tried to break the silence.

  “How’s the wedding planning going?”

  “Let’s not talk about the wedding,” Dad said.

  “Why? Did something h
appen to Lea?” Nikki asked.

  “Don’t ask about Lea!” Dad snapped.

  “So they can’t even talk about her?” Mom said.

  “We’re not talking about this over dinner,” Dad said.

  “She’s their sister!”

  “And she’s my daughter!”

  “So what happens to her is all on you. Only you get to decide?” Mom said.

  “Damn right I do!” Dad shouted. He slammed his fist on the table.

  “Nikki, Camille—go to your rooms,” Mom said calmly.

  “But…” I stammered.

  “Go to your rooms!” Dad boomed.

  Nikki and I hurried upstairs. We both went inside Nikki’s room, but we could hear everything. I had never seen my parents shout at each other. I had never seen my parents openly fight in front of us before. They were first fighting about Lea, but they started screaming at each other about other things.

  “So you’re not going to let her back, you’re not going to let her see her family until she does what you say?” Mom shouted.

  “She will come back.” Dad said.

  “Well what if she doesn’t? What then? Will you stop caring?”

  “Once she realizes what’s more important, she will come back,” Dad insisted.

  “Why don’t you ever listen to me?” Mom shouted.

  “It’s because I know what’s best for our children!” Dad bellowed.

  “It’s because you don’t respect me. You never did. Everyone else’s opinion never matters. What if I know what’s best for Lea? What if I know what’s best for the family?”

  “You have no idea how hard I work to provide for my family.”

  “OUR family. This is our family. Those are our kids!”

  “Don’t talk to me like I don’t know that!”

  “Do you? When I talk to you, it’s like you don’t hear me. I try to not mind it, Henry, but I’m tired. I’m so, so tired.”

  They’ve been fighting every night since then. I am worried about Lea, but I think I’m even more worried about my parents. I wonder how Nikki feels about all of this. I really wish we weren’t still mad at each other.