Out of the Ashes

by Valerie Sherrard

  I’m glad that my mom doesn’t have to work, although sometimes she sells pictures to the local paper. My mom took up photography a few years back, and she’s actually pretty good at it. She can capture a scene in a way that makes it really stand out. We have a darkroom downstairs now and it’s really cool.

  “Why don’t you come to my place for supper instead?” I offered. “Mom made a big boiled dinner, so there’ll be lots.” Mom never minded me bringing someone home for a meal.

  “I think I’ll just stick with fries,” Betts answered. “Anyway, I think that Graham is going to be at The Scream Machine, and I want to remind him about a couple of things for the dance.”

  Graham was Betts’ new boyfriend. He’s a nice enough guy I guess, but not the hunk Betts made him sound like when she told me she was going out with him. He’d been hanging around her for a while, though she hadn’t been interested in him at first. I guess he sort of grew on her.

  I realized then that Betts didn’t know I was going to the dance with Greg. I took a deep breath and told her.

  “No way!” she squealed, getting all excited. I gave her a minute to calm down and stop waving her arms and doing this funny kind of spastic bounce she does when she gets animated.

  “Oh, I knew it! I just knew it!” She hugged me then, a big squeeze that almost made me lose my balance when she let go. “I knew he liked you. Oh, this is perfect.”

  I laughed in spite of myself. It’s nice to have a friend who’s really happy when she thinks something good is happening to you, even though in this case she was wrong. Betts is loyal to the end, not like some girls who say stuff about their friends behind their backs.

  “I’m just going to the dance with him, Betts,” I tried to calm her. “It’s not like some big romance or anything.”

  “We’ll see.” She smiled and giggled as if she knew a secret.

  I didn’t have the heart to burst her bubble, so I just let her think what she wanted to.

  At least one of us was happy about my date with Greg.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “Wow! You look beautiful!”

  Greg was standing in the living room, holding a pale blue wrist corsage in his hand. I’d just come in through the hall doorway, regretting that we didn’t have a big circular staircase like you see in the movies. You know the scene, when the heroine comes floating down, pausing a couple of times while everyone watches her, awestruck.

  Not that I think I’m glamorous or anything, but in a long dress, with my hair done up in a French braid, I felt like someone else altogether.

  “Thanks.” Greg looked nice too, in a black suit with a white shirt and burgundy tie. I was just about to say something about it when Mom spoke up.

  “Doesn’t your date look handsome in his suit, dear?”

  It made me mad that she’d butted in.

  “You look great,” I told him, but it must have seemed as if I was just agreeing with Mom. Maybe he thought I was just saying it because I had to, because she’d trapped me into it with her question.

  He seemed happy anyway, although a bit embarrassed by the compliment.

  “What a lovely corsage,” Mom broke in again.

  “Oh, yeah,” Greg looked startled, and I figured he’d forgotten about the flower in his hand. “This is for you.” He slid it onto my wrist. It really was pretty, a cluster of tiny pale blue flowers among sprigs of white baby’s breath.

  “Sorry, they had no orchids left.”

  I assured him it was beautiful and thanked him while Mom hovered around us making comments. I tried to give her a hint that her interference wasn’t wanted, but if she noticed the covert frowns and glares she managed to ignore them completely.

  “Well, I guess we’d better be going,” I said in desperation. Where was Dad anyway? He was supposed to drive us to the school, but he was nowhere to be seen.

  “Go?” Mom cried, as though I’d just proposed killing someone. “Not before I get some pictures you won’t!” She ran off to get her camera.

  I felt as though I was trapped in some sort of pre-dance torture chamber from which there might never be an escape.

  “Sorry.” I rolled my eyes while looking at Greg. “She’s not usually this weird.”

  “I think she’s sweet. I wish...; ”

  His voice trailed off without finishing the sentence, but it wasn’t hard to figure out what he’d been about to say. It hit me with a jolt that his mother was dead and that he’d probably give anything to have her there fussing over us and taking pictures.

  “Oh, Greg. I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean...;” It was my turn to be unable to go on.

  “It’s okay,” he said, “it’s easy to forget how lucky we are sometimes and to take people for granted.”

  I have to say that I was able to tolerate the picture taking session without being annoyed after that. Even though Mom was still flitting around and saying embarrassing things, it didn’t bother me any more. I even told Greg that she’d made my dress and didn’t mind that she tittered and giggled when he complimented her on it.

  It seemed that Mom was more excited about the dance than I was. But then, she didn’t have any guilt to deal with, and I did.

  I was just about to start fretting again when Dad arrived at last, apologizing for the delay. He explained that he’d gone to have the car cleaned.

  “A man has to take his chauffeur duties seriously,” he said jocularly, then broke off and stared at me. “My, my,” he sounded all choked up, “just look at you.”

  After he’d stammered a few comments about me being “all grown up” and told me how nice I looked, we finally headed out, arriving at the same time as some other couples were entering the school. The auditorium was decorated with streamers and balloons and what looked like thousands of flowers made from coloured tissue. It had been transformed into a fairyland. The lights were covered in crepe paper, which gave the room a soft blue or purple glow, depending on where you were standing.

  I was trying to keep the butterflies in my stomach under control, but it was my first formal dance and I had started to get flutters as soon as we walked in. I saw Betts across the room, and she beckoned us over to where she and Graham were standing.

  We made our way through the growing crowd, pausing every few feet to say hello to other kids. Most of the guys looked kind of sheepish in their suits, but the girls were all squealing in admiration over each other’s dresses. Of course, as soon as someone complimented someone else’s dress, the other person gushed the same thing back, each insisting that the other dress was nicer. I looked around for Jane, wondering if her dress was going to be the big hit she’d claimed, but she was nowhere to be seen.

  Then I saw Nick, standing with a couple of other guys. I figured Jane was in the girls’ room, probably fixing her lipstick or, I thought unkindly, maybe just looking in the mirror. I’d seen her doing that before, just staring at herself as though she couldn’t tear herself away from her own reflection.

  Annie Berkley was there with Todd Saunders. They’re both in my class, and it was quite a surprise when we found out Todd was taking Annie to the dance. Todd is a good-looking guy and quite popular, but Annie is chubby and has curly hair that always seems to want to fly in the wrong directions. She has a nice smile and is friendly and all, but she’s no beauty. No one could figure out why he’d asked her.

  Annie’s dress was the worst possible design for her figure. It was pale yellow, tied at the waist with a wide sash that made the rest of the fabric bulge out around it. Big balloon-style sleeves puffed out over her shoulders like oversized football pads. Instead of flattering her figure, it made her look twice her actual size.

  Naturally I told her the dress was beautiful. She thanked me with her eyes averted and then quickly added that mine was very pretty too, though I don’t see how she could tell since she wasn’t exactly looking at me. I felt really bad, because I could see how uncomfortable she was and how out-of-place and awkward she was feeling in her big puffy dress
. She looked as if she’d rather be anywhere but at the dance.

  We moved on then, Greg and I, making our way through the crowd. I was keeping an eye out for Jane but still hadn’t seen her by the time we finally reached Betts and Graham.

  Betts was in high form to say the least! She was giggling and talking to three or four people at once, tossing out remarks and turning from person to person, her face lit up and glowing with excitement. She squealed and hugged me when we got there.

  “Oh, isn’t this just the best! I can’t wait until the band goes on stage. Oh! Your dress is perfect! Mine is too severe I think. I should have gone with the mauve one Mom wanted me to get, but this one was just so divine on the model.”

  I’d already seen Betts in her sleek black dress about twenty times and had told her every time that it was great. I was just about to repeat the assurance I’d given on those occasions when Greg spoke up.

  “I wouldn’t call it severe. Actually, it’s very elegant.”

  “Oh, Greg, you’re such a sweetie!” Betts gushed. “Do you really think so?”

  He smiled and nodded but said nothing else. I figured that he’d used up all his ability to pay a compliment with that one remark. Guys aren’t exactly good at offering commentaries on women’s clothes!

  “And Graham, isn’t Shelby’s dress to die for?”

  Graham laughed at Betts’s enthusiasm, took a deep bow, and told me with considerable exaggeration that my dress was divine. I curtsied back and told him he was dashing and debonair in his suit.

  “Oh, poor Greg,” Graham said then in a falsetto voice that made him sound exactly like a girl. “You must be feeling left out.”

  “Yes, you must Greg,” Betts added, giggling at Graham’s female voice. “But you look really yummy!”

  “That’s exactly what I was thinking earlier when I saw myself in the mirror,” he said deadpan. “I couldn’t help noticing how yummy I was. Thanks for mentioning it, Betts.”

  The band came on then, playing a hard, driving tune. Once the first few brave couples hit the dance floor almost everyone else rushed over to join them. I saw Nick dancing with Kelsey Princeton, who had left her date standing in the corner looking dejected. Nick glanced my way a few times, and it made me feel really awkward. I’m not a very good dancer anyway, but then I haven’t had much practice.

  It wasn’t long before I found out why Nick wasn’t dancing with Jane. Betts cleared it up for me when the band took its first break.

  “Did you hear about poor Jane?” she gasped, out of breath from the last dance. “She took a dizzy spell and fell and hurt herself.”

  “What a shame.” I tried to put something that sounded like sympathy into my voice, but all I could feel was disappointment. Because of my own stupidity, I was stuck with Greg for the evening. There was Nick without a partner, and I was going to miss out on the chance to dance with him.

  Then something else happened that almost spoiled the evening for everyone. The fire alarm sounded, screaming over the music. We all hurried outside the way we always do when there’s a drill, but we knew they’d never have a drill during a dance.

  We stood shivering in the cold for about ten minutes before one of the teachers came out and told us we could return to the auditorium. Once inside, an explanation was given, and we learned that there had been a fire in the wastebasket of the girls’ washroom.

  “This is very serious,” the teacher said sternly. “I assume that someone was smoking in the washroom and threw the cigarette butt in the garbage without properly extinguishing it. You all know that there is no smoking permitted in this building. If I so much as smell a hint of smoke anywhere in this school again this evening, the dance will end immediately.”

  There were no further incidents, but after all the other fires we’d had through the fall I couldn’t help wondering if it had really been accidental. Still, we were all having a good time, and it didn’t make sense that anyone would deliberately ruin the dance.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  In spite of everything else, it turned out that the dance was awesome. In fact, I was still walking on air the next Monday morning when I got to school. Even though I hadn’t been able to dance with Nick, what happened was the next best thing. The high point came when I was standing alone while Greg went to bring us back some raspberry punch from the tables along the wall.

  “Having a good time?”

  I turned to see Nick standing to my left with this incredibly adorable smile on his face. He was leaning toward me a little, and I could smell cologne on him.

  “Yes, thanks,” I managed to stammer, then thought to add, “Sorry to hear about Jane.”

  “Yeah, well,” he shrugged, “what can you do?”

  “I guess.”

  “I’d really like to dance with you. Think Greg would mind?” He winked, and my stomach flip-flopped all over the place. I frantically hoped I wasn’t turning red.

  I wanted to tell him that I’d love to dance with him, but my throat had constricted and I couldn’t get any words out right away. I pictured what it would be like to have his arms around me, my face pressed to his shoulder. If I’d had another minute I might have found my voice, so it’s probably lucky that Greg came back then and saved me from my own weakness. I’d promised myself I’d do the right thing and be really nice to Greg while I was his date, and there I’d been, on the verge of breaking my promise.

  “Hey, Nick.”

  “Greg, you lucky dog. You’ve got yourself quite a babe here tonight.”

  If Greg answered him, I sure didn’t hear it. Nick thought I was quite a babe! His words echoed in my head for the rest of the night and on through the weekend.

  There was no doubt in my mind that Nick was going to ditch Jane and ask me out. I played the scene over and over in my head, how he’d call me up or maybe come right up to me at school and tell me he was through with her, that it was me he wanted. In my imaginings, I accepted him with grace and poise. I blocked out the fact that the few short conversations I’d ever had with Nick had left me blushing and tongue-tied.

  But at lunch on Monday he was sitting with Jane as usual, touching her hands and smiling. My only consolation was that she looked awful from when she’d had the dizzy spell and fallen. There was a dark bruise on her cheek, and though she’d obviously tried to cover it with makeup, I could still see the shadow from across the cafeteria.

  Of course I realized then that he couldn’t just up and dump her after she’d hurt herself and missed the dance and all. Obviously he was waiting for the right time. But there was only another day and a half of school before the winter break. It was clear that I was going to have to bide my time.

  I was just congratulating myself on my patient and mature attitude when Greg slid in beside me at the table. Betts was having lunch with Graham and I could have joined them, but you know what that would be like. I’d have felt like an outsider — watching them smile at each other and hearing everything they said.

  “Hey,” Greg greeted me. He looked happy.

  “Hi,” I answered without enthusiasm. I silently willed him away.

  “I was wondering if maybe you’d like to take in a movie over the holidays.”

  “Uh, I don’t know. I’m going to be pretty busy with family plans and stuff.”

  “Ah, a full social calendar. You must be very much in demand. Perhaps I should call your secretary to make an appointment.”

  I smiled at that, feeling foolish. Greg wasn’t dumb enough to think I had no time for a movie over a whole two weeks off school.

  “I meant, it would depend on when you wanted to go,” I said, figuring I could always put him off when he tried to pin me down for a specific time.

  “This may be a challenge, what with your full schedule and my shifts at work. But I think we can overcome these formidable obstacles. If we want to.” He had a look on his face that was both serious and teasing at the same time.

  Why did he have to talk like that? Formidable obstacles, for go
odness’ sake! He sounded like some character in a book, not a normal teen having a normal conversation. I glanced around, hoping no one had heard.

  “Yes, I suppose we could. If we want to.” I put the same emphasis on “if we want to” that he had when he’d said it. Maybe he’d take the hint.

  Across the room, Nick was laughing at something Jane had just said. I’d never found Jane to be much of a wit myself. He was probably being polite.

  “You know, Shelby, nothing makes a girl more attractive to a guy than the fact that another guy is interested in her.”

  “Huh?” I thought I must have missed something between the last thing we were saying and this remark. It seemed to come out of nowhere.

  “For example, let’s just say hypothetically that there was a couple sitting here in the lunchroom and that the female half of the couple was rather taken with someone else. So she’s half listening to the fellow at her table, but following every move made by the other guy, who, for example, could be sitting across the room with another girl.”

  I felt myself getting red. He hadn’t missed my glances at Nick, which I thought were pretty well hidden.

  “Forget for the moment whether the other guy is suited to this young lady, or whether her affection for him is a shocking display of bad taste. Ignoring the fact that he is all wrong for her, let us say that her heart is firmly set on him.”

  “This is ridiculous.” “Is it?

  But Shelby, we are only speaking hypothetically, remember?”

  “Then get to your hypothetical point. You’re starting to aggravate me.”

  “Excellent. I’d begun to think myself incapable of evoking any emotion from you whatsoever. But I digress. Returning to our situation, let us examine what the best course of action would be for our heroine to obtain the affections of the undeserving cad who has mysteriously captured her heart.”

  I have to admit I was starting to enjoy the way he was talking. It was different and fun and interesting to listen to the way he said things.