“No, Ethan. I would prefer you not touch me at all,” she whispered back to him, exhausted from all the fighting since he had stepped into the door. She had no more strength to fight back. Her eyes stinging, she fought the urge to cry in defeat. With that, she grasped a half full, open bottle of burgundy and a goblet. She turned and walked back up the stairs and into her loft.
With her back to him, she felt him watch her as she walked away. She heard him throw something, and looked over her shoulder as the full frying pan landed into the sink. He stalked back to the bedroom, closing the door behind him. She turned back and finished her climb to the loft.
****
Karlyn drained the last drops of wine from the bottle and considered going downstairs for another. The events of the last few days were going to make her an alcoholic. Her stomach clenched, as she realized she was still hungry. She rose from the overstuffed beanbag pillow she used to rest on when she worked and peeked over the railing. She saw no signs of Ethan or his vile temper, so she quietly padded down the stairs.
Grasping the handle of the fridge unit, she spied a bottle of pinot grigio that she had snuck out of a holiday party the previous Christmas and grasped it, looking at a hunk of moldy cheese sitting near the top. Even though she hated to admit it, her mother was right in one regard. Was this really living? She closed the unit and turned to the cabinets. She saw the well prepared dinner sitting in the frying pan in the sink, and looked it over. Grasping a hunk of meat, she sniffed. It smelled divine, and then she thrust it into her mouth. Heaven. He may be an ass, but he sure could cook.
Eating a few more bites, enough to keep the hunger pains at bay, she stood before the sink, eating. Is this as bad as eating out of the trash? What the hell has my life come to? After a few more bites, she seized the new bottle, opened the cork and waddled her way back up to the loft, slipping on a tread or two.
Falling onto the pillow, she reached for the empty goblet, filled it and proceeded to drink the entire bottle before she passed out in a drunken stupor. She would regret this in the morning, but for now it erased all the pain of the last few days.
Chapter Eight
Karlyn awoke with heavy sunlight streaming through the huge skylights that lined the ceiling above her studio area. She usually loved the natural light that came into this space, but considering the weights rolling around in her head, she begged for shade. Why, oh why, did I do that to myself...again?
Struggling to raise herself from the pillow, her back ached from the awkward sleeping arrangement. A nice spot to sit and contemplate her next stroke, it wasn’t meant to sleep on. In her drunken state last night, she really hadn’t cared, but she wasn’t sure which part of her body hurt more this morning. Another few days of living with Ethan would break her completely.
As soon as she sat up, her vid screen rang, making her cover her ears with her hands. She dragged herself up from the floor slowly, trying to get the incessant ringing to stop. Slapping her hand over the call switch, she saw Sam’s face lit up the screen.
“Morning, Sunshine!”
“Go to Hell.”
“Oooohh…from the looks of you, I think you took care of that trip yourself. So, am I to assume no baloney pony for you last night? From what I have heard, most women have a smile on their face afterwards, versus looking like death warmed over.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence and telling me I look like crap. It is entirely appreciated. So what are you calling to nag me about today?”
“Nag you? Well, I understand that a certain artist I know just got a huge commission thanks to her incredibly sexy, intelligent, considerate best friend, and I thought that artist would probably be interested in going out to lunch to celebrate with said friend.”
Karlyn grimaced, knowing that with Sam’s help, she may have turned a corner in her career, and that Sam was the only one trying to help her make that happen. She had no right to take her grumpiness out on her best friend. But like the old saying said, you always hurt the ones you love. “I’m sorry. You are absolutely right. I’m just out of sorts this morning. Let me shower and wake up, maybe take about twenty pain pills and then we can get some lunch. Say in about an hour or two?”
“Darling, it is already one in the afternoon. Why don’t we make it dinner then? That will give you time to medicate that fuzzy brain of yours and attempt to shave the hair off your tongue too?”
“Lovely visual there, Sam, thanks. Leave it to you.”
“But of course. You know you love me. And how about we make things interesting and you bring your little boy toy along so I can check him out?”
“That would require me to be in his presence. I would rather it just be you and I.”
“Well, here’s the thing. You won him. You practically own him. If you say jump, he should ask you how high. And for him to fulfill his end of the bargain, aka sexing you up, you have to be in his presence. Plus, I have the balls to knock him down a peg or two for you.”
“Sam, I can wage my own battles.”
“Yeah, it sure looks like you can. So, will you be joining AA after the year with him? What a way to fight a battle.”
Karlyn looked at the screen and snarled. “Fine, I’ll bring him. And you can attack away, because I haven’t got the energy to do it today.”
The pair made arrangements to meet for dinner at a trendy new café in Karlyn’s neighborhood. Walking downstairs to find Ethan, she was shocked to see him seated in a chair at the bottom of the stairs. He had obviously been listening to the conversation from the anger etched in every line in his face.
Looking at him made her eyes hurt, not so much from the alcohol she had drank the night before, but for the fact he was so visually stunning. It was just her luck to win the booby prize.
As she descended the last stair, she stood in front of him. He eyed her, with his normal malice. “So you overheard the conversation?”
“How could I not? I was about to walk up again and see if you had finally awoken from your wine induced coma when the vid rang. And your friend isn’t exactly quiet.”
“Will you come to dinner?”
Ethan looked up at her with anger. “Why bother asking? Remember, you say jump, I ask how high.”
“Because I don’t work that way. I do not plan on treating you like an object. My friend Sam would like to meet and interrogate you, like she does to every other person in my life. But you do have a choice in the matter. If I force you to go, you will just be that much more rude and nasty to us. If you come of your own volition, maybe I can avoid a little of your wrath.”
Ethan grimaced at her comments. He paused, staring at the floor contemplatively. After a deep breath, he the slight smile in his voice as he answered made her rethink her initial assumption, “I would enjoy meeting your friend and celebrating your success.”
Karlyn eyed him suspiciously. Not sure how to comment, or if he was just playing her, she just stared for several moments. Finally finding her voice, she spoke. “I need to soak in the tub for a while and try to cure this hangover. But please give me privacy for a couple of hours.”
He stood. “Absolutely. I have an errand to run anyway. And I promise to announce when I’m home. Or maybe not.” Ethan walked towards the door, a knowing smile lighting his face as he glanced over his shoulder at her. . Karlyn stood watching the door for a few moments after he had disappeared through it, replaying his last comment over in her head. It just sounded so wrong, yet so right all at the same time…when I am home.
****
Ethan sat on the corner of Bailey’s bed, looking at her pale face as she slept. Once her surgery occurred, he would know if the humiliation of selling his body would save her. Even if it didn’t, he would do it all over again for a second chance.
Recalling one of the last Christmases they had all shared as a family, Ethan remembered how young and ignorant he had been about life. He had thought nothing could hurt him or anyone he loved. The world had been handed to him on a silver platter and
he took and took. His parents shouldn’t have spoiled him so much; maybe he would have appreciated what he had had then.
It took the death of his parents for him to realize the power of family and for him to finally take responsibility. The fear he held inside, the fear he would lose his sister, gnawed at him, and drove him to near madness. He knew that it was possible that this surgery would not work, and that ate him up inside. She was his last tie to being human, and he shuddered at the thought of who he might become if she left this world and him alone in it.
Taking Bailey’s limp hand in his, he prayed for the first time in his life. He wasn’t sure if there really was a God, or if that God would listen to a man like him, but it was all he had. He couldn’t lose the only person who cared if he lived or died.
Bailey’s eyelids lifted. Squeezing his hand, she smiled. “My brother, lost in prayer? Can’t be.”
Opening one eye and peering down at her, he smiled, “Of course not.”
“So, how are you?”
“I’m fine, of course. But, I should be asking you that question.”
“You really do worry too much, Ethan. I am fine. Tired, but fine. And in a few more days I will be even better and on the road to recovery. So let’s not worry and make ourselves sick. How about we change the subject? How is your new benefactor doing?”
“Benefactor?”
“Well, what else should I call her, your Mistress? That’s just too gross even if it is more accurate. She is putting up with you right now and footing the bills for your lodging and food, right? And I don’t want to know how you are repaying her, believe me. There is only so much a sister needs to know.”
“Actually, she still hasn’t demanded payment, and I am not sure if she will.”
“Really? She is still ready to throw you out, hmm?”
“As rude as I have been to her over the past couple of days, I can see why she isn’t interested in spending any time with me.”
Bailey searched his face, and he wondered if she saw the marks of fatigue he had seen in the mirror. “Rude? Ethan, I have never known you to be intentionally rude to anyone who did not deserve it. So does she deserve it? And if not, why are you being ugly?”
“I don’t really know yet if she deserves it. Only reason I can come up with is Ophelia.” Ethan shrugged his shoulders, looking but not seeing out the window from where he sat. Turning back towards her, he added, “It drives me insane knowing all these women had nothing better to do then to drop millions of dollars for the chance to win an opportunity to force a man to have sex with them.”
“Well for one, she isn’t truly forcing you to do anything. You chose to place yourself into the lottery. If anyone is forcing you to do anything, that would be me. So be mad at me, not her.”
“Bailey, you didn’t force anything. I chose to do this, and I could never be mad with you. But still, these women pay astronomical sums of money just to have me service their needs, whether it is the lottery or a contract, or worse. Even after all these years, I still can’t fathom why we’re subjected to this. There is no love, no true affection, every one of these relationships is destructive and causes pain and anguish.”
“Ethan, all people have needs, men and women. Loneliness is a very strong emotion.”
“Loneliness? Come on, Bailey. Just because you buy someone doesn’t mean you’ll chase away the loneliness inside. Entrapping someone doesn’t bring about intimacy.”
“Is that truly the way you see your situation? Have you ever considered that maybe it was her one shot at seeing what it was like to have a relationship with a man? I know the way men are treated is deplorable, but if you can look at the other side for just one moment. Most women will never have any relationship with the opposite sex at all. Most choose the same sex just to avoid the horrendous loneliness. You can understand that, I’m sure.”
“I’ve never been lonely. Before the accident I had mom and dad, and I have always had you. Besides that, women have always been there paying me for my time, up until a few years ago. I rarely had a moment of free time alone before that witch Ophelia. I ran away from them sometimes just so I could be alone. I guess I’ve never experienced loneliness.”
“Don’t kid yourself, Ethan. You are one of the loneliest people I have ever met. Just because women have fought to spend time with you doesn’t mean they really cared about you. They only wanted your body. Remember your words from a few moments ago. You can’t force intimacy.”
Ethan just watched his sister, a hardness filling him. He turned away so she wouldn’t see that side of him. “I’ve had relationships. I’ve had women care about me. Not all the contracts were horrid situations.”
“You are deeper in denial than I ever realized.” Bailey ran her hands over her face in aggravation before looking up at him with anger etched on her face. “Do you really think the women you spent time with cared for you? What happened to them once Ophelia had her way with your reputation? Did any of them step up and stand at your side to protect you or vouch for you? Where are they now? They were nowhere to be found Ethan. They let you rot, and didn’t give one thought to how you would survive.”
Rising from the bed, he stalked over to the desolate window in the room. His back toward her, he felt the heat of his anger spread over his face. He refused to argue with her while she was sick. She didn’t have the strength for this.
“Not every woman is like Ophelia, hard and uncaring on the inside. Is it really that difficult to believe a woman simply bought a ticket in hopes of intimacy outside the bedroom? To find the mythical needle in the haystack? To feel real love? Give her a little break. She hasn’t demanded anything from you yet, maybe she just wants friendship, real intimacy. You are so jaded, brother. I know that deep down you desire love as well. Why do you think you’re working so hard to save me? There is no one left for either of us, and I’m the only person who loves you for being you.”
****
Karlyn sat soaking in the large claw-footed tub in her large bathroom. The studio had been incredible enough to convince her to buy this loft, but if it hadn’t, then the bathroom would have done her in. The vision the women had in creating a luscious retreat within this home was genuinely awe inspiring. French doors graced the end wall, and the balcony covered with greenery and riots of color were easily seen from the tub.. It was a safe haven from the world where she could relax.
Karlyn looked at her toes as she lifted them out of the water and saw she had wrinkled. She had spent too much time soaking and the water was cool. She pulled herself up and grasped the fluffy towel from the bench at the end of the tub.
Wrapping the towel around her body, she sat down at the vanity and looked at her reflection. Her long blonde hair fell in wet, curling strands around her shoulders, and if she looked hard, she was sure she could find paint. No matter what she did to it, it was never as shining and bouncy as the women she saw throughout the city. Her pale skin was almost translucent, as if the sun’s rays had never touched her, and she thought she looked sickly. Of course, her blue eyes were her one true beauty, and she felt pride radiate within her each time someone commented on how beautiful they were.
Sighing inwardly, she knew that there was little she could do to ever make herself a true beauty. Luck just wasn’t in her corner in that regard. Plain she would always be. And without money or power, alone was all she could ever expect to be. Maybe she needed to let things happen between her and Ethan just so she could say that she had the experience of being with a man.
Looking above her own head in the mirror, she caught a glimpse of Ethan standing in the doorway. Their eyes met in the reflection, and Karlyn wasn’t sure, but she swore she saw hunger in his gaze. But then again, she had never truly seen what lust looked like in a man’s eyes when they were directed at her, and why ever would he be giving her that look?
“I’m sorry about intruding. I called out when I walked in, but you must not have heard me.” He continued to stare, not moving away as she wished he would
.
“Relaxation is a wonderful thing. I guess it made my mind wander. I’ll be done in a few more minutes, and then you can use the bath.”
Instead of retreating, Ethan stepped inside the room. Entranced, he seemed pulled to her like a magnet. Anticipation coursed through her veins, but she couldn’t move, could only watch him move closer to her.
He stopped just behind her then knelt to the floor, grasping her damp hair and pulling a brush from the top of the vanity. He raised the brush to her scalp and lightly tugged it through, his eyes never leaving hers in the mirror.
He continued to stroke the brush through her tresses, a moan escaping her lips as her eyes closed and her head slid back in ecstasy. One of his hands moved to the base of her neck, holding the weight of her head as he continued to brush the unruly wet curls. After several more minutes of measured, languid brushing, he set the brush back down on the counter. Moving the weighted mass of hair to one side of her shoulder, she opened her eyes, suspicious of his next move. A war waged inside her, she was so wary.
****
Lowering his head, Ethan nipped at the supple skin on her shoulder. Leisurely running his soft lips over her skin, he tasted her. Tilting her head slowly to the side to allow him more room to lave her, he felt the gentle but guarded permission she gave. She tasted of berry and he continued to lick and nibble the skin of her shoulder, and followed the curve of her neck, biting the swell of her earlobe softly.
Sliding her off of the bench, he pulled her into his lap as he continued to softly bite and lick her neck, entranced with her taste. Resting his hands on either side of her waist, he pressed his heavy erection into the base of her spine. Thrusting her rear slightly, he surged, pressing himself closer. His hands lifted until they were just under her breasts. Her nipples hardened further within his grasping fingers.
Lifting his fingers up, he pulled the edges of the towel down so he could look at her beautiful breasts over her shoulder. Both hands filled with soft flesh and he used the sides of his thumbs to rub the nipples to harden them further. Sliding from under her, he laid her on the soft carpet of the bathroom and then kneeled over her, pulling the bath towel from her body.
The Lottery Page 7
