Running his hands along her thighs, he looked down at her beauty and loved the soft curves she possessed. There was no malice or intent in her eyes as there had been in the women who contracted him in the past. Instead, he saw her curiosity, her self-consciousness, and her innocent desire. The other women had always directed the passion, with an end point already in mind. Karlyn was nearly lost in her passion. She yielded to the feelings he was creating in her body and for that, he thought her to be the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his entire life. He bent down to kiss her navel and then lower, closer to her mound.
Nudging her pale thighs open with his palms, he caressed her, desperately needing to see her sex. He lowered his head until he was eye level with her glistening folds and breathed her scent deep. She smelled sweet, light like an airy day, and he had to taste her. Raising his mouth to the center of her sex, he swiped his tongue, licking her from clit to the bottom of her folds, her taste, her feel, unlike any woman he had ever been with. Her fingers entwined in his hair as he drank her juices and licked at her tender flesh.
He rubbed a single finger around her tightened nub, feeling how hard and extended it was with desire. Within a few strokes of his finger to her clit and his mouth on her sex, she was becoming liquid in his arms, her loud moans echoing in his ears as her release hit her quickly. How responsive, how vocal.
Sliding away from her core, she writhed under him, already seeking her next release. Her breathing quickened even more as he rested on his arms, facing her pussy. Slowly he pressed one finger into her to test how tight she was. But he could not get his finger in past the knuckle. Her barrier was still intact.
Sitting up quickly; completely stunned and shocked, he could only look down at her as questions flew into his head. She suddenly looked embarrassed and grasped the towel around her naked form. Tears formed in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall, and he watched as she held tight to her composure.
“You’re a virgin.”
“Is there something wrong with that?” Defensiveness thickened her words.
“Virgins don’t normally go around buying tickets to win a sex slave for a year.”
“Well…maybe…maybe I was tired of being a virgin, and I was ready to get it over with.”
“You kept your virginity intact this long, and you chose the lottery to end it?”
“It isn’t like I have had the choice of many men in this day and age.”
“Most women use toys to end their virginity and get some satisfaction until they can eventually get a man. But you waited. For what?”
“I don’t know. You will think me more naive than you already do, but I guess I always hoped I would be one of the lucky ones that would meet a man who loved me.”
An eyebrow raised, he looked at her. No words came.
“Yes, I can see by the look on your face that you know as well as I do that I am a hopeless romantic. So what? So what if I am? Is there a law against that?”
“No. No law.” Ethan stood up, wanting her more now than ever, but also knowing that he absolutely did not deserve her virginity. She wasn’t like the others. She was fresh and new, and he was completely unprepared for the feelings that rushed over him at the thought.
He turned his back on her while he tried to gather his composure and gain control over his raging hard-on. His whole body trembled from desire and the only thing he could think about was plunging inside her sweetness. It was as if her purity could absolve some of his sin, even though he knew it really never would. But he could live vicariously through her inexperience, like looking at the world with fresh eyes. The floor of her bathroom was not the place she should lose her virginity. He would make it special for her.
“We can’t do this now.” Quickly turning back to her, he lowered his hand to help her up from the floor, where she sat stunned. “You need to get dressed and ready for your celebration dinner.”
Staring into her eyes, he yearned to kiss her, but he stepped back. “I will let you get dressed so I can shower and get ready for dinner.” He strode from the room and closed the door behind him. He closed the door, leaning against the frame for a moment to regain his composure. It was then he heard her sniffling, and he wondered what caused her tears to flow.
Chapter Nine
The pair walked down the quiet residential street to the restaurant. Karlyn enjoyed the way her dress floated around her as she walked, as she rarely wore anything except her grubby jumpers. A warm breeze floated past and reminded her that winter’s chill had finally been surpassed by the renewal of spring. She flushed when Ethan grasped her fingers in his, entwining their fingers. Never having experienced the simple joy of having her hand clasped within the masculine heat of a man’s hand, she reveled in the moment and refused to pull away. Having him quietly walking beside her was somehow soothing, even after his dismissal earlier that evening.
Turning the corner on the next block, a bustling restaurant and nightclub district awoke before them. Entering the first crowded restaurant on their right, Karlyn quickly spotted Sam. Running up to her, Sam threw Karlyn into a big bear hug. “Congratulations!”
Karlyn flushed a deep pink, not used to getting much praise, especially in a public place. Then again, she wasn’t sure the stares were for her or for Ethan, as it seemed the throng filling the building all stared at them. She smiled at Sam, and then turned to Ethan. “Well, here he is at your request. Sam, meet Ethan Spears.”
Ethan turned on what she thought was his best actor’s smile and took the woman’s hand into his own. Karlyn could see Sam shook back firmly with a strong grip, as she also noted Ethan’s wide eyes, and his shaking of his fingers after Sam released him.
“So, Ethan, how has your first couple of days been?” Karlyn’s knew Sam’s toothy smile was as fake as ever, as she had seen it on the few occasions Sam had met her mother.
“It hasn’t been easy adjusting, but I am sure if we both work at it, the situation will improve.” He turned towards a stunned Karlyn and smiled at her. Ethan grasped her hand in his and brought it to his mouth for a quick peck. Her eyes grew even larger as her skin warmed as felt her face blush.
Sam looked at Karlyn with a smirk on her face. “Ahh…so maybe the two of you have been enjoying each other’s pleasures since my call this afternoon?”
Karlyn blushed even harder, more so from the remembered pain of his rejection, than from what they did on her bathroom floor. Feeling the weight of his stare on her, she refused to look into his eyes so he could see how hurt she really was. No way would she give him that power. She glanced up at Sam.
Having been her friend for far too long, Karlyn knew the moment when Sam suspected bad news, as Sam immediately narrowed her gaze. “So Ethan, what did happen this afternoon?”
Ethan startled at the question, and she refused to meet his gaze. “What do you mean?”
“Well, my girl looks hurt at the moment. I don’t like her to look hurt. Especially when it is my fault.”
“She has no reason to. Your fault?”
“Sam, stop.”
“No, Karlyn, I won’t.”
“Sam, I really do not want my dirty laundry aired in this restaurant. People were already staring, and have been since we entered the room, now, even more so since the vibe of the conversation has changed. Please, I want to celebrate tonight. I’m done fighting for a while.” Karlyn looked around the room and found a waitress and called her over.
“But you told me earlier I could put pretty boy in his place.”
“I have a name.”
“I will call you whatever the hell I want to call you, sweetheart.”
Karlyn slammed her hands onto the edge of the table harder than she meant to. “Sam, stop!”
Sam finally shut her mouth and simmered across the table at Ethan, who glared back equally. The waitress arrived and they ordered their food, as silence fell over them again. Ethan excused himself to use the restroom, Karlyn was sure he just needed to get away from them for a moment.
She then wondered if he would bother coming back to the table. She almost wished he wouldn’t.
“So, what did pretty boy do this afternoon after I called you?”
“He caught me in the bathroom just after a soak and kissed me. A lot.”
“And that is bad why?”
“It wasn’t bad. It was nice. I can imagine he is a wonderful lover.”
“Imagine? Why do you not know that by now?”
Karlyn sighed inwardly. “Because I’m a virgin, and it evidently turned him off.”
“Whaaaat? You are still a virgin? And you never told me before now?”
“Do you think you could have said that a little louder? I don’t think the customers in the restaurant around the corner heard you clearly enough. And it isn’t something I felt the need to share with you, and considering your response just now, you wonder why?”
“Sorry, but damn, girl. Why haven’t you taken care of that by now?”
“Because I watched too many of the old celluloid romance films on the vid screen in my youth. I’ve always imagined Prince Charming rescuing me from my hellish existence and making mad passionate love to me for the rest of my life. Corny, I know. But it is what it is.”
“Girl, you need to get your head out of the clouds and see reality. There are no more Prince Charmings in this world. For every one male, there are thirty plus females on this planet. Lesbians outnumber straight women. Most males are kept under lock and key and sold off to the highest bidder. The best you could have expected besides this win was to be able to eventually afford a sperm donation. You have gotten the best chance you will ever get at having a real man in your life, right now. You know I love you, and I would never want to ruin your dreams. But this isn’t a dream darling, it’s just insanity. Prince Charming? Really?”
“I know. I’ve told myself all those things my whole life. I have come close to just buying a vibrator and taking care of it myself, but I just couldn’t for some reason.”
“Well, you have a living, breathing toy for the next year. He is there for you to use and abuse. Have at it.”
A loud cough signaled to the pair that Ethan had returned. His mouth pursed tightly as he stared intently at Sam, Karlyn assumed he had overheard some of their conversation. Again. And he did not look too pleased. They all sat in silence for several moments, and within minutes, the appetizers were brought to the table. Karlyn was glad, as eating was easier than talking.
After dinner, Sam was adding cream and sugar to her coffee, a look of contemplation etched into her face.
“So Ethan, what is wrong with her being a virgin?”
Ethan spit out some of his coffee onto the linen tablecloth and grasped the napkin to his lips. Once he had collected himself, he turned to a mortified Karlyn, and glanced back to Sam. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.”
“Yet, you rejected her?”
“I did not reject her.”
“But then why is she still a virgin?” Karlyn saw that Sam was doing her dog with a bone routine, and she would push Ethan until she got the answers she wanted to hear.
“Sam, I don’t need to explain myself to you. I understand you’re her best friend, and for some reason, feel the need to fight her battles for her, but she is a grown woman, and if the past couple of days show me anything, she is more than capable of standing up for herself. This is a conversation for me and Karlyn to have, without you in it, or in a public place.”
Karlyn finally looked into his eyes for the first time since leaving her apartment that evening. She pondered his words - was he trying to protect her or himself? From across the table, she heard another comment from Sam, directed to Ethan.
“So why is it you can’t stop looking at her?”
Ethan did not pull his eyes away from Karlyn’s, nor she from his.
“You two need to run along and talk. I’ll pay for dinner.” Karlyn heard Sam chuckle under her breath.
“No, Sam, you’ve done enough.”
“I insist, to celebrate your newfound success. Go home before I have them kick the pair of you out.”
“Thanks Sam.” Karlyn rose and hugged Sam, before unthinkingly grasping Ethan’s outstretched hand. They quickly walked home and climbed the eight flights of stairs to the studio apartment. Upon entering the apartment, they divested themselves of their jackets and turned expectantly towards each other.
“So?” Karlyn’s chest hurt, not wanting to hear the truth, but knowing it was about to come. She knew that most women reveled in their sexuality and had explored much their bodies, whether it was with their own hands, a sex toy, or their fellow females by the time they were her age. She had hidden the truth even from her own best friend for fear of reproach. Was she so horrible that he would reject her? She was not tainted fruit, far from it. Was her virginity so foreign to him, it repulsed him?
Ethan stood stock still, staring at her, making her squirm under his inspection. “You can’t even speak to me, Ethan? Am I so vile you feel I don’t deserve an explanation? I think I am at least owed that. Some reason why I’m that disgusting to you.”
“You are not…”
“STOP IT! Don’t lie to me now! I know that I’m some kind of freak of nature.”
“I’m not ly…”
“Oh, nevermind. I don’t even want to know. I don’t care.”
“Let me talk, damn it! I’m here to do a job, one you won’t let me do. I’m here to tell you pretty words and to fuck you. Just go with it, let me do what I’m here to do.” Ethan grasped her shoulders, making her stand in front of him.
“The thought of you doing ‘what you are here to do” makes me sick. I want a man who wants to be with me, not some man who is paid to be with me. I don’t even know if I want you here anymore. I can barely stand to look at you. Hell, I didn’t want you here in the first place.”
“What the hell? If you didn’t want me here, then why did you buy a lottery ticket? The point is, you bought the ticket and if we have sex, I will have been paid to do it. You need to get over that. But paid or not, virgin or not, I want you like I have never wanted another woman. Ever.”
Seconds later, they were in each other’s arms, mouths warring, fingers grasping. Sweat formed along Karlyn’s brow as her internal temperature jerked up as she felt the fire burning in her core, his heated touches fanning the flames even higher. She was smoldering for him, needed him like oxygen. The hints of his coffee mixed with the cinnamon and vanilla flavor of his mouth, the taste alone enough to nearly have her addicted already.
Rubbing his hands down her back, he cupped both cheeks of her butt, pulling her up against him. She loved the feel of his body as it fit against hers, and he easily carried her weight.
Her cool hands reached under his shirt and rested on his bare stomach before she pulled the garment up his body. Her touch seemed to rouse him from some distant place. Putting her feet back onto the floor and pushing her away, he turned his back to her. Moving beside him, she reached for his face, turning it to face her own.
He looked down into her face and she knew he saw the unshed tears.
“You are…” He paused, searching for the right word.
“Save it. I’m in no mood tonight.” With that, she turned and fled back to her loft.
***
Watching her retreat from him one more time was almost too much to bear. If she only knew how special he thought she was, and how perfect he wanted to make her first experience. She had waited this long, and he had twice now taken her like a common whore. A bathroom floor or the entry of her studio was not good enough.
Fighting with his desire to follow her up the stairs, he moved to the bathroom and splashed cold water over his face. Looking in the mirror, he saw the bastard who did not deserve her reflected back at him. She might be his salvation, but he would eventually deliver her to a hell she did not deserve. His past would haunt him forever, and it would sully any relationship they could ever hope to have.
He rested on the bed, sinkin
g into the soft pillow, knowing it would be hard to find rest that night. Closing his eyes, they popped back open moments later as Ethan realized what he had to do. He would have to hurt her to push her away. It was the only chance he had at saving her from his demons.
***
Karlyn snuggled into the softness of the couch, not wanting to wake up and have to look into Ethan’s face. After she was sure he was in bed, she had crawled downstairs to cuddle into her soft couch. It was definitely more comfortable than the beanbag chair in the loft that had nearly broken her back.
But if she did not get back upstairs and get to work, she may have to interact with him.
Everything about the situation stirred up memories of the hurt she had experienced, not just from him, but all her life. She was never good enough, and she was tired of it.
Dragging herself into a seated position, she stretched before standing up. The last few nights had not been conducive to sleep, but last night she at least had a makeshift bed. Too bad she barely slept. Slouching sleepily to the kitchenette, she peeked into cabinets, looking for coffee. Not finding any, her mood did not brighten. She sure needed a cup this morning to get her going, so a trip to the store would start her morning.
But if she wanted to go outside the loft, she would need to shower and dress. And that meant facing Ethan.
It was either retreat hungry and tired into the studio or confront him.
Tired of being the mouse that Sam accused her of being, she blasted through the bedroom door, not looking to see if he was awake or not, and went straight into the bathroom. She turned on the jets in the shower, peeled her clothes off and then stepped in. Quickly bathing, she dried and then realized all her clean clothes were in the bedroom.
Gathering up her courage, and making sure the towel covered her tush, she pushed open the bathroom door, letting steam escape into a fog in the room. As she entered into the bedroom, she saw him lounging across the bed completely nude and aroused. After several seconds of taking a look at his package, she realized she needed to pick her chin up off the floor.
The Lottery Page 8
