Karlyn couldn’t stop staring. Having seen dildos and vibrators before when she had contemplated ending her long standing virginity, it wasn’t like the male anatomy was a complete mystery. But compared to them, he was huge. There was no way that something that size could fit inside her. Ogling him seemed the only thing she was capable of.
“So, have you finally decided to take advantage of the lottery?”
Conscious thought continued to escape her, and she searched around her addled brain in order to attempt a retort. “No, we need coffee.”
A strange look covered his face. “Coffee?” He looked her over in a heady sweep of his gaze before looking back down at his full erection. He then glanced back up at her with a sheepish smile.
“We need it. And…um…other things. I need to…to go to the store. I need to….um, go….um I need to be clean so I can go to the store. There is…only one shower. And...my clothes.”
“What about your clothes?”
“Well, they are…in here…with you.”
“Don’t let me stop you from your clothes and your coffee.” He continued to lay there. Naked.
She could barely function with him so close. Stolen glances kept her aware at all times as she continued to fumble through dressing. He began to stroke himself, apparently enjoying her watching him. Glistening liquid began to form at the tip, catching the sunlight coming in through the French doors.
Licking her lips, she watched as he stroked the strong shaft, barely able to wrap his own long fingers around it. A warm tingling had already begun in between her legs, and she found it hard to remain standing.
Looking up from his cock, his smile was pure malice. “It is so sad what I have to do since there is no way you are satisfying my needs. I don’t have the desire to educate you so you could be some sort of relief, either. Absolutely pointless, since you probably couldn’t even take this huge cock inside of you, being that you are a tight, little virgin.”
Sadness ripped through her, followed by anger. How dare he? He was cruel beyond measure, with no heart. Better to know it now, then to have let him inside her defenses any further. He had taken the one thing she was truly embarrassed by and made her feel dirty. His words fueled a fire within her, and she lashed out at him in response.
“You filthy whore! Why would I even want you?”
***
The words ripped a hole into him, knowing he deserved worse. But hurting her now would be easier than the hurt that was in store for her if he took her as he wanted to.
She rushed to the closet, grabbed the last item she needed to complete her attire and stomped out of the room.
He wondered how long it would take for her to stop crying. And he could not see or hear her do that because it would break his heart. Although she could be his salvation, he feared that ultimately, he would make her as jaded and pessimistic as he.
Dropping his hand from his aching cock, he pulled himself wearily from the bed and stood up. Before he could finish his stretch, the door ripped open.
“I didn’t buy the damned ticket. Sam did. It was a birthday present. I didn’t want it, and I didn’t think I would win anyway, so I took it after she literally forced me to. I didn’t want any of this.”
Ethan stood devastated. And everything now made sense. The distraction she showed when he arrived, the distance she kept, and the fact she had not pushed him to fulfill the contract.
She didn’t want him. Pushing her away was unnecessary; she didn’t want him in the first place. Suddenly, he had to tell her the truth, tell her what he had just done.
“Karlyn, your virginity is a gift.”
“And the arguing, the rejection, the ugly words? Is that your gift to me?”
“I didn’t want to reject you.”
“Want? You don’t want to reject me, but you feel you have to?”
“Yes, I do. You are pure. I’m far from it. You’re too good for that.”
Sudden realization floated over her features. “But how could you be so cruel?
“”
“I didn’t want to be cruel, I was trying to protect you from me.” Punching the bed with his fists, he ran his fingers through his hair. “I seem to ruin everything I touch, Karlyn. I couldn’t make it in my life after slavery, so I had to be subjugated once more.”
“Subjugated? It wasn’t your choice to go into the lottery?”
“Yes and no. I needed the money to help someone I care about, and this was the only way I had to raise the funds.”
“I heard you on the vid phone with someone, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Wrong place, wrong time. So, I know about your girlfriend.”
Ethan smiled. “She isn’t my girlfriend.”
Karlyn looked him in the eye. “She isn’t?”
“No, there is no woman in that capacity of my life.” Except you, he wanted to add. “And now I don’t know what it is we will be doing about that.” Ethan looked thoughtful for a moment. “Do you want me to go?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what I want.” Karlyn slouched down on the bed, clasping her hands together over her knees, and seemed to drift away, her face blank.
Ethan walked towards her, and knelt in front of her. He slid one hand over hers, and tilted her head by softly brushing her chin with his fingers. He stared into her blue eyes, his chest hurting with the knowledge he was the one to put that injured look into her eyes. The shimmer of tears did not help, and knew he was lost if even one fell.
“Karlyn, either way, whether you want me to go or not, there is something I really want to make sure you understand.” He paused, looking deeply into her eyes to see if she was focused solely on him. “As soon as I felt your virginity, I knew you were not like all the other women. Yes, first it threw me; I have never met a virgin. And I did push you away, but more so because I didn’t feel I deserved something so pure and clean. I didn’t reject you. I am sorry I hurt you, but I guess I couldn’t communicate to you that I felt undeserving of what you were offering me. And I thought making you angry was easier. I’m a jerk.”
“Ethan, yes, you are. And you are making such a big deal out of it, and it isn’t. I was a fool to think I would be swept off my feet and romanced and be able to give my virginity to the love of my life.”
“No, you weren’t a fool. And it is a big deal. You have not seen the depravity out there. I was forced into sexual slavery by the time I was seventeen. You are unique…and special.”
His words touched her, and for once made her feel good about her choice. Of course, she had had urges all her life, but something always held her back and told her the day would come that love would walk into her life. But she still wasn’t sure how to deal with the man kneeling before her.
“Maybe we need to start anew, without all the assumptions and the arguing. No forced intimacy, no expectations, and just be who we really are.” Karlyn looked into his eyes as she spoke, a hopeful light glistening within the tears.
“I would like that. You are not like other women, and to just have the chance to know you, to be friends, to learn what a real woman is like would be something special. But I will tell you now that the intimacy would not be forced. At least not on my part.”
“I just don’t want to be pressured or to feel we have to get to that end. If you haven’t noticed, I have been avoiding the situation since you got here. No stress. Just be ourselves.”
“Okay, if that is what you want, then so be it. We’ll be friends and no expectations.”
From the point he had felt her virginity, he had experienced a profound sense of ownership. The word mine had breezed through his head and had become a mantra from that point on when he saw her, even as he had worked so hard to push her away. An overriding sense of possession was something completely foreign to him, considering he himself had been treated as property for most of his adult life. Complete understanding eluded him, but he could not ignore the sensation.
She was his.
Chapter Ten
The pair li
ved in quiet contemplation for the next few of days. Karlyn focused on the commissions she had to fulfill; Ethan tried to stay out of her way while she worked. He made lunch and dinner for her each day, after they went for coffee and croissants at a local cafe and a morning walk, choosing fresh produce and meats at the grocery and farmer’s market. He wanted to support her endeavor, knowing how important this job was to her. Sneaking her a sandwich or steaming stew wasn’t much, but the smiles they seemed to illicit from her was enough for him to continue doing it.
Occasionally, he sat on the large oversized chair on the studio floor and watched her work. When she was focused on her paintings and forgot he was there, she was radiant. Passion was etched into her face, and she was happy. Ethan soon learned that he truly loved to see her happy and did everything he could to keep her that way.
Ethan put together a basket full of food and wine, dragging her from her work one afternoon when he sensed she was becoming frustrated with one portion of the piece and needed to walk away for a while. Seeing her at ease, learning more about each other, and just realizing how much they shared in common, likes and dislikes allowed an easy friendship to bloom.
Ethan still felt the simmering attraction for her below the surface, and the more he learned about her and spent time with her that passion only bloomed more. He was sure she felt the same, catching her longing glances here and there told him the story of her need. She was a woman full of passion and now that he had seen that side of her and knew what kind of woman she really was, there would be nothing to stop him from having her body and soul.
He also spent time with Bailey, helping her loneliness awaiting her surgery. Karlyn was working so much, he doubted she noticed his brief absences. As the surgery approached, Ethan felt the stress mount. The fear that these would be the last days he got to spend with his sister made him cherish the time he spent with her.
But he also knew his absence for long periods of time would eventually draw attention from Karlyn, even if she was busy with her work. The surgery was scheduled for two days hence, and he also would want to stay at the hospital while Bailey was in surgery. There would be no way he could leave until he knew she was safe. Having been adamant about Karlyn not worming her way into his private life, after getting to know her more, he knew that she needed to hear the truth from him.
Spending this time with Bailey was too important for him to miss. Karlyn was not the kind of woman he had imagined her to be, so she wouldn’t taint the one special relationship he had in the world.
Ethan had risen early, cooking a wonderful breakfast full of Karlyn’s favorites, an omelet filled with sliced portabella mushrooms and a mix of cheeses. Having switched to the couch, returning her to her own room the week before, he hoped she would not hear or awaken too soon to smell the food cooking before he could serve her breakfast in bed. Gathering up the cut fruit he had sliced, her omelet and a steaming cup of coffee, he walked the small hallway and pushed open the door to her room.
Bright sunlight streamed from the curtains and nestled in the center of the bed, Karlyn slumbered. Resting the tray on her bureau, he lowered himself to the bed and sidled up to her, pulling the covers over him and resting his length along hers. He could tell she was near awakening as she began to slowly stir, but in her half sleep, half awake state, she cuddled against him, resting her head on his broad chest. A sigh released from her lips, lips that seemed so tempting to Ethan. Trailing one finger along the bottom bow, she opened her mouth slightly, relishing in the touch.
Running a leg up along his, his body tightened. A simple touch of her cuddling against him was enough to ready him, when with other women he would have to talk himself into being ready for lovemaking. Looking at her in his arms, in her bed, ready and attentive in sleep was almost enough to throw him over the edge, and he had worked hard to make her a lovely breakfast. And he needed to talk to her about his sister, even if his body was screaming in protest.
Kissing her forehead, he gently roused her. Rubbing her back to awaken her, she slowly stirred to life. Her blue eyes opened, fluttered, and suddenly looked confused. Embarrassment followed, and he chuckled.
“Karlyn, I just slid in to cuddle for a moment before I woke you.” She seemed to calm at that, and he wasn’t sure how to take her change in attitude. “Would it be so bad to wake in my arms? Never mind, don’t answer that. I made breakfast.” Rising from the bed was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life, as the images of her seduction, her splayed beneath his body, begging him for release, raced through his head. He grasped the tray and turned toward her and waited as she pulled herself up to a seated position.
“I’ve never had anyone make me breakfast in bed, this is wonderful.” She looked over the tray, and grinned. He had made were her favorites. Her sweet smile touched him, and he wanted it to last forever. But the voice in the back of his head reminded him once again that he was a practiced companion, and he hoped she didn’t think he was trained to do so. It was just for her because he had simply wanted her happy.
She dug in with gusto; she seemed to really enjoy his cooking. The food was delicious; he noted as he sat down on the opposite side of the tray and picked a few bites of everything for himself.
“Everything is wonderful as usual. A girl really could get used to this, Ethan.” She smiled and he returned one, but he as his thoughts drifted to Bailey, he knew the expression he returned was not as glorious as the one she had bestowed on him. Her eyes clouded with questions as she looked at him, and the smile wandered from her perfect lips.
Stiffening his body, he considered how to bring up the subject of his sister. Not being used to divulging personal information, outside his sexual repertoire, he was treading new ground. Although he had gained some experience in the past few days spent with her, sharing his love of old music was a far cry from telling her his baby sister may be dying and that it was breaking his heart. They ate in silence for a few more moments, while she eyed him awkwardly, as if she knew something were coming. Ethan cleared his throat and put down the small cup of fruit juice he held.
“Remember the woman you overheard me talking to on the vid phone the first day I arrived?”
****
Dread filled Karlyn as she feared there was a new hurdle about to be placed in their fragile relationship. He had said this woman was not in a relationship with him, but the words she heard sounded quite different. “Yes, I remember.”
“Bailey. My sister. She is having surgery in two days, and I would like to spend time with her at the hospital before the surgery, as well as be there when she is operated on. I hope you do not object to me spending extended periods absent over the next few days.”
His face shone with hope, and there was a sadness she thought she caught reflected in the green depths of his eyes. Considering his words carefully, she wondered if he told her the truth, even when her head heart told her he was. She didn’t know him very well, it had only been a few days, but she had no real reason to not believe him at this point.
The uncertainty created by her eavesdropping left her at odds. As friends, she had no right to demand he not go. If he was being honest, and this woman was truly his sister, he would never forgive her if she did.
“Of course you can go spend time with her. I have noticed the quick trips you have been making each day. I assumed they have been to see her?” She tried to seem light hearted and that the decision was nothing to her, but she had never been good at hiding her emotions. A twinge of jealousy flared in her, and she did everything she could to hide it.
A job she apparently did poorly, as Ethan seemed to read her easily, rolling his eyes in response to her. “I want you to come meet her.”
“Meet her?” The rug was pulled out from under her and she realized then that the potential affair that self doubt had allowed to flourish and grow in her imagination was about to evaporate. If he was asking her to come face to face with the woman, then more than likely it wasn’t the grandiose affair she had thought it
to be, but in fact truly his sister. “You want me to meet your sister?”
“Yes. I think she will like you. Especially as lonely as she has been, stuck sitting in a hospital room for almost three weeks awaiting surgery. Once you finish breakfast and get dressed, visiting hours should be about to begin, so if you want to go over there with me this morning…” Ethan trailed off.
Karlyn nodded her agreement, and quickly finished up her breakfast, missing out on the wonderful flavors as nerves began to get the best of her. Quickly taking care of her needs, she dressed in one of the few outfits that wasn’t covered in paint, the same one he had already seen when they went to dinner with Sam, and brushed through her mass of rioting blonde waves.
I really need to go shopping for a couple more pieces of clothing. Hopefully he won’t notice it. Rubbing a little makeup across her face, she looked into the mirror, hoping that Ethan’s sister would approve of her.
Approve of her for what? They were only supposed to be friends at this point, and no matter how much she desired him, he would never want her in the same way. He confused her with his warm attention. He had yet to completely relax for her, and she wasn’t sure he ever would. Regardless if it was an act or not, he was still good company, proving to be both intelligent and witty, and she had decided she was going to enjoy that company for as long as he was there and not go back to the arguing they had originally endured.
The fact that he was asking her to meet his sister made her pause. Why would he open up his personal life to include her unless he had some glimmer of feeling for her as well? Maybe he had taken the whole friendship request to heart and that was the extent of it. But there was a little piece of her heart that hoped for more. Fortunately, she was smart enough to know better.
The Lottery Page 9
