Havoc (Storm MC #8)

by Nina Levine

  We were lying in bed and at my question, she sat and faced me. She eyed the bandages over my wound before giving me her gaze. “I’m lucky to even have the possibility of your dick, Havoc. You nearly died on me and that was one of the scariest things I’ve ever lived through. And up until that point, I hadn’t realised how much I wanted you in my life. You’re a closed-off, moody, bossy man who doesn’t fit into any life plan I’ve ever made for myself, but fuck, I realised I want to throw all those plans out the window and make you my new plan. And as for your complaints about no sex, I don’t care how much you grumble. I’m not going anywhere near your dick until the doctor tells you it's completely safe for me to do so.”

  I soaked her words in.

  Hell, she was fucking spectacular. And as much as I grumbled and carried on during my recovery at her tendency to fight me at every turn, I loved the shit out of the way she stood up to me.

  A piece of her hair had fallen across her face so I pushed it behind her ear. “Who fuckin’ knew I’d love a bossy woman? I’m not down with a permanent hard-on that you won’t touch, but I love everything else you just said.”

  A smile slowly worked its way across her face and she bit her lip. A moment ago, she’d passionately stood up to me and now she looked at me with a vulnerability that made me want her more than I already did.

  “You do?”

  Fuck, her doubt slayed me.

  I ignored the pain it caused and moved to a sitting position. Jerking my chin, I indicated for her to straddle my lap, which she did, with reluctance. Running my finger down her cheek, I said, “I do. I know I can be a pain in the ass most days, but I want to be in any life plan you make. I’m figuring my shit out as we go but I want to be the man you need by your side while you’re out there kicking ass. I never saw this thing between us coming, but I’m sure as shit gonna do everything I can to keep it.”

  She took hold of my hand that was near her cheek. “Me too,” she whispered.

  I brushed a kiss across her lips. Her mouth opened and let me in. God, this had to be one of the best places in the world to be. Kissing Carla was almost as good for me as burying my dick in her. I loved the connection I felt when our lips joined.

  She pulled away, breathless. “We need to stop or else neither of us are going to be able to.”

  I grinned. “That was kinda my intention, angel.”

  “I know.”

  “Next time I’ll make sure my injury doesn’t prevent me from fucking you.”

  Her body shook with laughter. “I’m pretty sure you think about your cock for about twenty-three hours of a day.”

  “I’m pretty sure my cock is all you think about for those twenty-three hours too.”

  “And why are you so sure about that? What proof do you have?”

  I threaded my fingers through her hair. “I’m sure about that because you have the dirtiest mouth and mind of any woman I’ve ever met. It’s like you were made for me and if that’s the case, then I know the shit that runs through your mind.”

  Her eyes searched mine. “Soul mates,” she whispered.

  I’d never believed in soul mates, but I figured if there was ever a woman who’d been made as mine, it had to be her.

  * * *

  I pulled Carla close to lay a kiss on her before she left for the day. Cupping her pussy, I growled, “Tonight, angel. This is mine.” Fuck, it couldn’t come fast enough. I had my post-op ten-day follow up that day and the doctor would be giving her the permission she’d been holding out for.

  Her eyes glazed over with the same desire I felt. “Havoc, he might say no.”

  “I don’t give a flying fuck what he says. Tonight, I will be fucking my woman.”

  She didn’t argue with me. Instead, she gave me another kiss and said, “I’ll be back by three to take you to your appointment. Don’t kill your father in the meantime.”

  “Smartass.” I smacked her butt on her way out and then headed into the kitchen to see how Dad was going with his breakfast.

  He looked up as I entered. “Carla gone?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. What plans have you got for the day?”

  “Nothing planned, son.”

  I nodded towards his bowl of cereal that Carla had gotten him. “You gonna eat that?” His eating habits had improved but he still didn’t eat enough as far as I was concerned.

  “I’m not hungry.” He pushed the bowl away.

  I pushed it back towards him. “Dad, you need to eat.”

  He scowled. “I’ll eat later.”

  Frustration caused me to lose my shit. I slammed my hand down on the kitchen table. “Why have you given up?”

  He didn’t even flinch. He just stared at me through sad eyes. Silence filled the room for a few minutes while we sat and watched each other. Eventually he said, “I miss her, Havoc.” Mum.

  Fuck.

  His words were honest and raw and I couldn’t fault him for his feelings.

  I nodded. “I know. I miss her, too. But Yvette and I are still here and we need you.”

  “No you don’t. You left and made a new life. Yvette’s got her woman and is making a life with her. You don’t need me.”

  I rubbed the back of my neck. “Jesus, Dad, that’s not true.”

  “Isn’t it? You left, Havoc. Without a backwards glance. That’s true.”

  The resentment his words carried hit me in the gut. I’d never stopped to think about anyone when I left. My pain had been too great. “There was so much going on back then. Losing my business because my best friend screwed me over and stole from me was a kick in the guts I never thought I’d recover from, especially when I had to file for bankruptcy. I thought I had Kelly to fall back on, but then she walked away. That shit fucked with my mind, Dad. When Mum died, it killed me. I wanted to die. I wanted to give up, just like you are, but that’s not in me to do, so I gave up in every other way. I’m sorry I didn’t come to you and ask for the help I needed to get through that.”

  “I offered you the money to pull your business out of the shit it was in. You should have taken it,” he said and I felt his pain that I hadn’t allowed him to do that for me.

  “I couldn’t, Dad. I couldn’t be the one responsible for anything happening to you if I never paid you back.”

  “That’s what parents do for their kids, son. We’d go to the ends of the Earth if we had to, even if it meant we had to walk over hot coals and swim with fucking sharks. I hated seeing you drowning. That killed me, maybe more than losing your mother.”

  Fuck.

  I’d fucked up.

  But that was the thing about life: sometimes shit didn’t go the way you planned and you dealt with it the best you could at the time. Learning to live with our decisions was the key. Because if we looked back all the time and regretted shit, we'd just end up living with a whole lot of bitterness and disappointment.

  I reached for his hand. “We can’t go back. We can only go forward. I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. I’m here for you and I’m here for Yvette. And watching you give up isn’t something I’m willing to do.”

  He took that in and spent a few minutes thinking it over. “You’re a stubborn ass, just like your mother.”

  I pushed his bowl of cereal closer to him.

  He scowled but he picked up the spoon and took a mouthful.

  Yeah, I was a stubborn ass.

  But it was one of my best traits.

  29

  Carla

  I stared in disbelief at the letter from my college.

  They didn’t have a spare place for me in the subject I needed to repeat.

  This fucked with my life plan.

  What fucking life plan?

  You threw that out the window.

  “Fuck!” I threw the letter down on the table. “Now what the hell am I going to do?” I yelled.

  Havoc entered the kitchen. Frowning, he asked, “What’s wrong?”

  I snapped my head up to look at him. “I didn’t get
into the class I needed. My plan is ruined!” Panic began to set in. What the hell was I going to do?

  He closed the distance between us. “I know you’ve had your heart set on this for a long time, but just because you didn’t get in this time doesn’t mean you won’t get in next time. You can reapply, right?”

  I nodded. But he didn’t understand. “It’s not as simple as that. This had to happen so the next step in the plan could happen.”

  He took hold of my shoulders. “I get it, babe, trust me, I get it. I had a plan once, too. And I worked that fucking plan like it was the only thing that mattered in life. In the end, none of it mattered.”

  “Do you mean with your business?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What happened there? You never told me how you lost the business.”

  His jaw clenched as he let go of me. “My best friend did my books for the business. He fudged my tax returns for years without me knowing and pocketed the cash that should have been paid in taxes. When the tax office clued on, I got hit with a huge tax bill which wiped me out.”

  “God, what a shitty friend.” The magnitude of what he’d been through during that time in his life hit me, and suddenly, my fucked-up life plan didn’t seem so bad.

  “Yeah. Needless to say, we’re not friends any longer.”

  I slid my arms around his waist. “Thank you for that. It was what I needed to hear.”

  “What? That my best friend fucked me over?” His hands moved over my ass as he hit me with his sarcasm.

  “No. I needed to be reminded that in the scheme of things, my setback is minor. I’ve still got those I love close. I can still pay my bills and I still have opportunities. Screw my plan. I’m getting a new one.”

  “Or you could fly by the seat of your pants for awhile and see where that takes you.”

  God, the thought freaked me the fuck out. “I’m not sure I could do that.”

  “I don’t mean have no plans, but you could try having loose ones that allow for flexibility.”

  “I’ll think about it.” I wasn’t sure how that would go, but I could try.

  “And besides, you’ve got a job doing what you love, without needing that piece of paper to say you know your shit.”

  “I know but I wanted that piece of paper. It’s what I’ve been working towards for so long. And education is what we’re told we need to succeed these days. I just have to change my thinking a little, that’s all.”

  “We make our success in life by our own hand, darlin’. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. You can kick ass however you choose. Now, talking of plans, what do you have on today? Are you working?”

  I’d been spending most days working on dress designs, but I was taking the day off. “Nope, not working today. You wanna do something?”

  Heat flared in his gaze. “I was thinking we could take care of this.” He guided my hand to his erection.

  It had been two weeks since the doctor had told him we could have sex if he felt up to it. Of course, Havoc always felt up to it. The doctor had been strict in his instructions—I had to do most of the work and Havoc was definitely not to lift or hold me up. My man liked to push himself, though. He wasn’t good with being told what to do.

  “Have you been getting yourself ready or something?” I asked as I moved my hand over his jeans.

  His hand moved to the button of my shorts and undid it. “What do you think?”

  I grinned.

  He was always ready.

  “Let’s move this to the bedroom so your dad isn’t subjected to us again.”

  He chuckled. His dad had walked in on us in the lounge room once. I’d been horrified, but they’d just carried on like it was an everyday occurrence.

  “Okay, angel, start walking then,” he ordered as he turned me to face in the direction I had to move.

  We’d almost reached our destination when his phone rang. He groaned as he reached into his jeans for it. I listened to his conversation and realised we wouldn’t be taking care of his erection anytime soon.

  “Fuck,” he muttered as he ended the call. “That was Yvette. She needs my help with some stuff.”

  I frowned. “You can’t really do anything while you’re recovering.”

  “It’s not physical stuff. She’s going through Dad’s shares and tax stuff and needs some help with it. Today’s the only day she has to do it. She’s on her way over here now, so we’ll need to take a raincheck.”

  “I’ll hold you to that.”

  Who was I kidding, though? Havoc was not the kind of man who needed to be reminded of promises of sex.

  * * *

  “Sorry I took up so much of Havoc’s time,” Yvette said to me four hours later. They’d just finished going through everything. Havoc had left us so he could take a call from J outside.

  “No worries. I did some work and got some awesome ideas so it was good that you guys took all that time.”

  She smiled. It was the first time I’d ever seen her smile. “I love that Havoc has deviated from his usual type with you. I think you’re good for him.”

  “What’s his usual type?” Kelly had mentioned this too and I’d been wondering about it ever since.

  “He used to always go for blondes with big boobs and hips. You know the type, shallow with no brain cells to speak of. Most of them disliked me and gave him hell for spending time with me. You’re so easy going and encourage him to be with his family. It’s a nice change.”

  I suddenly felt inadequate. I had no hips or curves to speak of and my boobs were tiny. And he liked blondes?

  I twirled my hair as my throat turned dry.

  Why did he even look twice at me?

  All my insecurities rushed to the front of my mind. Havoc had never said or done anything to make me question his attraction, but I had confidence issues around being rejected that stemmed from feeling unwanted by my father and being cheated on repeatedly. I’d had counselling sessions over this so I knew where the insecurity came from. As much as I’d tried, though, I’d never been able to permanently kick it to the kerb.

  It was all well and good to tell myself to get the fuck over shit, but my mind could be a neurotic bitch over some things and this was one of them. Which sucked, because mostly I was tough as nails. I hated that I struggled with this.

  Havoc joined us while I turned all this new information over in my mind. He reached for me and pulled me close with his arm around my waist. “You good?”

  “Yes. Why?” I wasn’t good, but he didn’t need to know that. I needed some time to think.

  He frowned. “You don’t look okay. You look like you’ve just found out someone died or something bad like that.”

  I forced a smile. “No, really, I’m okay.”

  His gaze didn’t move from me for a good few moments.

  In the end, Yvette interrupted, “I’m out of here, people. I’ve got a hot date and I can’t be late. She’s promised me se—”

  Havoc cut her off. “We get the picture, sis.”

  She turned to me. “He’s such a prude when it comes to lesbian sex.”

  He scowled. “Fuck. If it concerns my sister, I don’t need to know. Other than that, I’m all about women all over each other.”

  Yvette muttered something about him being a prude again and then she left us.

  And I was left with a whole lot of questions and insecurities.

  30

  Havoc

  I stared at my bike, savouring the rush I’d felt for the first time in four weeks. The doctor had finally given me clearance to take the bike out and it had felt fucking good to be back on it. Life was finally starting to get back to normal.

  Well, as normal as possible considering everything had changed in the last month. I was still living with Dad, helping him get his shit together. He was doing well and I was finally convinced he’d turned a corner. Carla was back living at her mother’s house. We saw each other every day. I couldn’t go a day without having her and I’d sp
ent many hours thinking about our future together. Her life was in Brisbane and as much as I tried to talk myself into putting down roots again, I hadn’t been able to come to a final decision. The open road called; my heart lived there. Trouble was, it also lived with Carla and I knew that when we finally had this conversation, I’d choose her over the open road if need be. I just hoped our relationship could survive that choice.

  I headed inside and jumped straight in the shower. Carla was on her way over and we were going out for drinks at the clubhouse.

  As I turned the shower off, I heard Carla’s voice. She was talking with Dad, so I wrapped a towel around me and made my way out to the lounge room. I was reaching for the handle of my bedroom door when it turned and she opened it.

  When she came into view, I halted and tried to process what I was seeing.

  Blonde hair.

  Boobs pushed up and out in a tight black dress.

  Her staring at me waiting for my response.

  “You dyed your hair.” It was fucking obvious so I wasn’t sure why I stated it, but I was at a loss for words.

  “Yeah, do you like it?” The tone in her voice told me she desperately wanted me to like it. The vulnerability blazing from her eyes confirmed that. This wasn’t the Carla I knew, the one who would kick your ass for looking at her the wrong way.

  I had to tread carefully here. “Darlin’, you could walk in here bald and I’d like it.”

  Lines creased her forehead as she frowned. “You don’t like it?”

  Fuck.

  “I do like it.” In fact, I loved it, but I’d always loved blondes so it was a given. I just wasn’t sure what was happening here. Carla was off. Something was wrong.

  “You’re lying.” Her voice wobbled.

  “Angel, what’s going on? You seem upset.”

  Her eyes widened. “I wasn’t upset, but I’m getting there fast. I just want you to be honest with me and tell me if you like me as a blonde.”

  I tried to take a step closer to her, but she placed her hand against my bare chest and stopped me. “I just told you that I did.”