Last Train Home

by Laura Stapleton

  Not letting either of them ask about his soon to be former wife, he hurried to add, “We planted a garden late and everything grew like weeds, including the weeds. I replanted what I could, sold down the stock, and harvested locust eggs for a dollar a barrel.”

  “No,” Carter said. “You harvested locust eggs?”

  “They build nests like birds?” Conner asked. “Must have been some big grasshoppers out here.”

  He laughed and gave one of the cows a final scratch on the head before heading for the door. “Come on, I’ll tell you more about the swarms over supper because I’ll bet it’s ready by now.”

  Chapter Ten

  Alice smiled at Charlotte. Pride might not be encouraged at the Home, but she couldn’t help but be proud of the girl. “It seems Mr. Dryden is as good a cook as you are.”

  The girl breathed in deep over the cookpot. “I’d say better.” She went to the bedroom she shared with Alice, saying over her shoulder, “When do you think they’ll be done, and do we need to wait for them before eating?”

  She chuckled, not blaming her impatience a bit. “Yes, we do need to share with the boys. Remember we have manners, even out here.” Charlotte mumbled something in reply and Alice wasn’t sure exactly what. Judging by the tone, maybe it was best she didn’t know. She drummed her fingertips on the table a few times before deciding to at least set out the bowls and spoons. Done with the small tasks she looked at the stew again, deciding to add the last little bit of their water to the broth.

  They’d want fresh water, too, if not hot tea as well. She took the bucket to the back door where her coat hung. Alice slipped into her shoes and coat as the door opened and the boys rushed in, panting. Her exclaiming, “Feet, gentlemen,” stopped them in their tracks and they went back to the door with frowns. She struggled to not laugh at how adorable both boys were and said, “Good job. You don’t want to mop before dinner, do you?”

  “No, ma’am,” they mumbled while kicking off his shoes.

  She began to say something when the door opened again. Jack stood there with a bigger bucket than hers. Cold reddened his cheeks and his eyes twinkled. Every time she saw him, he seemed to be a little more handsome than the moment before. She nodded at his pail. “Seems we have the same idea.”

  “Great minds and all that.” He reached for her bucket. “Let me take yours to fill.”

  “I can help,” she offered while putting the container behind her skirts. When he grinned at her, Alice’s face grew warm. “You can probably handle everything yourself, but I’ve done very little today.”

  He held open the door wider for her. “Come along, then, and tell me what gave you such a wrong idea.”

  Alice laughed at him being so blunt. “Excuse me? Wrong? That’s not possible.”

  Jack nudged her shoulder with his as they stepped off the porch. “Sorry, ma’am, I meant to say slightly mistaken instead.”

  Her foot slipped on a slick patch and she grabbed his arm. “Goodness!” Her heart pounded at the near fall.

  After wrapping his arm around her, Jack pulled her to his side. “This is always a problem when the weather is freezing. You don’t notice the slope until you’re flat on your behind, counting the clouds or stars.”

  She glanced up through the bare branches until refocusing on the ground ahead. “Thank you for the rescue. You can let go now.”

  “I will when we get to the creek. In the meantime, let me list how much you’ve helped around the farm today.”

  “This won’t take long,” she quipped, and grinned when he chuckled.

  “You brought the children to me and I know Charlotte will have us all fatter than a spoiled pig. Then, you cleaned up all traces of my neglect while I wallowed in pity.”

  Alice tried to focus more on his words and less on how a man was hugging her. “You lost your wife. You’re allowed to mourn her, if she’s truly gone.”

  He stopped their walk and turned her to face him. “I did mourn her. I wanted her back. I needed what we had together.”

  His change in verb tense urged on her slim thread of hope. “You did. Not do?”

  He shook his head slightly. “Not anymore. There are plenty of single gals at church, in town, heck, even where I grew up. I could send a letter or go and talk to any of them to come here and be a mother to the children.” He stared at her for a second or two. “And I’d want her to be a wife to me.” He swallowed, not breaking their gaze. “I don’t want just anyone, though. I want someone I can love and who’ll love me enough to stay forever.”

  Emotions jumped around her like shotgun pellets in a shaken preserves jar. He couldn’t mean her as his love, yet his intent stare led her to believe he did. She had a life waiting for her back east and Jack knew that. Alice had to counter his assertions with, “Forever is a very long time. What if the woman you love can’t live here? What if she has responsibilities to others, first?” The light in his eyes dimmed. She missed his warmth both literally and emotionally, and leaned in closer to him. “The woman you care for may have no idea she’s the one you’re thinking of.”

  He moved a couple of inches nearer to her before saying, “If she doesn’t, then I need to be a better communicator, don’t I?”

  She swayed a little toward him. “Oh, yes, telling her outright would be helpful.”

  “We’ll be out here until tomorrow at this rate.” Jack straightened. “Let’s hurry up and get back before we’re frozen in place.”

  He resumed guiding her to the water pump and Alice watched as he filled his pail before setting it aside. She handed hers to him when he was ready. “About communication, I mean, most women would want to hear nice things about how pretty she is, how you can’t live without her, and that she’d had your heart from the moment you two met.” She took her full bucket from him. “I wouldn’t be like a woman who’d want to hear such things, though.”

  Jack chuckled. “No? So, you’d be the one in a million who didn’t want sweet talk and courting?”

  She frowned, unhappy now since she’d talked him out of any sort of romance. Still, she’d made her bed and now had to lie in it. Alice lifted her chin, trying to look down her nose at him, somewhat difficult to do due his height. “I’m much more practical. I’d rather hear about a man’s plans and the ways I can help him realize our dreams. Love is nice, but it doesn’t produce anything.” He chuckled, and she asked, “Doesn’t it?”

  He chuckled while giving her the smaller pail of water. “For couples without children, you might be right. Love isn’t productive, but others? It’s why the Hayses are in my home wondering when we’re going to return so they can eat.”

  His meaning hit Alice like a rock to her head and her face burned with embarrassment over what she’d implied. “I didn’t mean to be fresh by mentioning love and everything.”

  “I know you didn’t,” he said, putting his arm around her for the icy part of the path. “You turned so red I couldn’t help but tease you.”

  “Yes, well, you’re very good at getting me flustered,” she retorted. Jack took his arm from around her, his hand sliding across her back. His solid strength gone as he stepped onto the porch, Alice followed him, already missing his touch.

  He paused before opening the back door. “I didn’t mean to offend you earlier,” he said in a quiet voice. “I forgot how to act around a proper lady, I guess.”

  “You know my history,” Alice replied as softly as he’d spoken. “I may be proper, but I’m hardly a lady.”

  “I disagree.” He set down the bucket and held her by the shoulders. “You’re a fine woman.”

  Alice stared into his eyes, lost and unable to look away. She wanted the longing in his face to be real and for her. His lips parted and she leaned forward. “You’re a good man, too.” Before either of them could protest, she kissed him.

  The moment they touched, she shivered. He deepened the kiss and she almost panicked at how perfectly they fit together. She moaned and stepped up against him, melting into his
strength.

  He groaned, giving her a bone-crushing squeeze. “No,” he whispered against her lips. “This isn’t right.”

  Not wanting to let him go, she wound her fingers into the hair at the back of his neck and pulled him closer. “It’s perfect,” she replied before resuming their kiss.

  He deepened their contact as if hungry for more. One of his hands slid down her back, stopping when he touched her hip. He stopped, withdrawing and stepping back. “I’m sorry. Let’s go inside.” Jack turned on a heel and left her there.

  The door shutting snapped her awake from the trance. She bit her bottom lip, wondering if the last few seconds had been a dream or a nightmare. Alice put a hand to her mouth. Considering how she was alone in the bitter cold yet her lips were still warm, maybe kissing him had been both.

  She needed to apologize for being so bold, yet she wasn’t sorry. Alice picked up her pail and went inside. The warmth enveloped her as snugly Jack’s hug had. The three children were seated at the table, eating dinner, and all stared at her with guilty expressions. She smiled. “Thank you for starting without me.” Alice kicked off her shoes. “I wouldn’t want to make you wait on my account.”

  Jack put down two bowls. “I’ve served your dinner already.”

  After a slight search, she noticed his larger bucket next to the stove and held up her pail. “Do I need to take this out to the livestock for you?”

  He walked over and took the bucket from her, saying, “No, this will be for us. I’ll take the larger one out to them later tonight.” Jack set it down next to his. “Come on and eat before it gets cold.”

  She nodded and put her coat on its hook. “What do you think,” she asked the children. “Is he good or should we let Charlotte take over for now?”

  The boys looked from Jack to their sister. Charlotte swallowed and said, “I think I’ll let him cook from now on.”

  Alice settled into her chair and took a bite. The potatoes, carrots, green beans, and peas in a tomato base tasted better than anything she’d eaten back east. “Mmm,” she said. “You’re wonderful, but I agree. Mr. Dryden is an excellent cook.”

  “Does this mean no biscuits and gravy tomorrow?” Jack asked Charlotte.

  She grinned. “I like your plan better. I can always make eggs and bacon the next day.”

  Alice stared down at her half-empty bowl. Tomorrow may be their last day here, weather permitting. She stirred the soup. Kissing Jack had thrown her dreams off-kilter. Worst of all, she’d have to confess to Father O’Brien as soon as she arrived home. Ellie might be gone for good, but the divorce wasn’t signed. Her stomach twisted. Would a confession even help, or was she damned forever?

  Jack stood and headed for the stove, saying, “Boys, why don’t you two find your toys in the drawer and play with them? You too, Charlotte, and I’ll clean up when Miss Wedgwood is finished.”

  She glanced up in time to see Conner fling a green bean at Carter. The vegetable landed in the boy’s hair and Alice frowned. They knew better than to waste food in such a destructive way. “Excuse me?” She sat up straighter. “I don’t know where you learned such unacceptable behavior, but I expect all this to stop this instant.”

  “Sorry, Miss Alice,” Carter and Conner said in unison.

  Standing, she added, “In fact, I think toys are for tomorrow, not tonight. I’d suggest you two clean up and go to bed.”

  “But we—” Conner began.

  Alice held up a hand to stop the arguing in its tracks. “No. Since you’re not sleepy, you’ll have plenty of time to think about how wrong it is to waste food.”

  “I don’t like green beans,” Carter mumbled as he walked past her.

  “That may be, but someone else here does and you didn’t consider other people.” She ignored the further grumbling and Charlotte’s smirk. “In fact, the three of you can get ready for bed and try to remember the lessons on good behavior we tried to teach you.”

  The amused expression slid from the younger girl’s face as she followed her brothers before slipping into her bedroom. Alice waited until Jack settled back into his chair before saying, “I’m terribly sorry. Are you sure you want them to stay with you?”

  He stared past her at the bedroom she and Charlotte shared. “I am. If a stray vegetable or two is the worst they give me, I can handle it.”

  She chuckled. “You do make a good point.” Alice stared at him for a moment, desperately wishing they’d met under better circumstances. She stirred what little remained of her food. Tomorrow they’d finalize the adoption, probably in his and the children’s favor, and she’d go home having kissed a married man. She stared down at her food, suddenly ill.

  Jack cleared his throat. “About earlier, I’m sorry.”

  “I am, too.” She couldn’t meet his gaze. “I was very wrong, and I apologize.”

  He leaned back in his chair, the wood giving a little squeak. “I enjoyed your mistake and would want another chance anytime you feel like making it again.”

  She looked up at him, hope and horror mixing with the food in her stomach. “I… you, you’re still married, Jack.” Alice pushed her bowl forward, the smell making her queasy. “Our kiss was a sin.”

  “I see.” He took another bite, staring at the table as if in a trance while he ate.

  “I’m glad you do, and I almost regret what I did.”

  “Almost?”

  Alice frowned at what sounded like hope in his voice. “Well, I don’t regret the kiss as much as the timing. You’re not a free man, after all.”

  “What do you consider a free man, exactly?”

  “One who isn’t married in any way, of course.”

  “I understand and respect your opinion.” He stood, taking his bowl. “It was sinful for us to embrace like we did.”

  She folded her hands in her lap and stared down at them. “Yes, it was.” This time when he walked away, she didn’t watch him leave. From what she heard, he stopped at the stove first before going on to his bedroom. Most of her was glad he saw the truth in what they’d done, but a small part wanted him to protest. To say their kiss was meant to be and declare his undying devotion for her.

  Alice stood with her bowl and turned to put it in the water pail. Absorbed in her own thoughts, she’d not heard Jack return to the room. “Oh, I thought you were going to retire for the night.”

  He waved an envelope in his hand. “I am in a little while,” he replied and went to where the ink and pen were stored. “There’s something I need to do before we go to town tomorrow and I don’t see the need to wait any longer.”

  Watching as he brought the writing tools to the kitchen table, Alice frowned. He couldn’t sign the adoption papers until she’d spoken to Donovan. “Are you sure, because I don’t think your signature will be valid.”

  Jack paused in dipping the pen. “My signature and date will be, even if I can’t file anything with the courthouse at this hour.” He continued, tapping off the extra ink and signing his name with a flourish.

  She edged close enough to see ‘Divorce’ as the paper’s title. Alice crossed her arms, chilled all of a sudden. “Jack! Are you certain? What if Ellie changes her mind?”

  He finished signing the date and said, “I’d been thinking about that myself.” Jack set the pen aside and stood, walking up to Alice. “I’ve begged her to return. She gave me her answer and I considered selling the farm and following her.” He uncrossed her arms and put them around himself while his hands slid to her waist. “Thing is, you kissed me and interrupted all that.”

  “The children?”

  “They started my new way of thinking and you finished it for them.” He leaned in to where their lips nearly touched. “Since I’m single on paper as well as in my heart, I want to see if the second time is as perfect as the first.”

  “This is wrong,” she whispered.

  He pressed his lips to hers with the lightest of touches. “Are you sure?”

  Alice groaned with the effort of restrai
ning herself and gave in to the need for more. She took his mouth in a kiss she’d needed since their last encounter ended. His hold on her tightened and she buried her fingers in his hair. He was so tall and all male. She broke their lip-lock long enough to ask, “And tomorrow?”

  “I’ll file the decree and we’ll talk to Donovan about the adoption.” He resumed kissing her for a few seconds before adding, “I want you to stay here with them. With me.”

  Intoxicated by his touch, Alice nodded at first. Her mind began clearing as she remembered her work in New York. Living in Missouri would be a dream compared to the city. Would a country life truly be what she wanted? Instead of helping hundreds of babies find new homes, she’d be living here with Jack and the children. “I… don’t know if I can.” She stepped back, withdrawing from his arms. “I have my work at the Home to consider.”

  “Yes,” he said, putting his clenched hands down. “You do. I was wrong to assume you’d abandon your life based on a couple of kisses from me. I’m sorry.”

  She wiped her lips. “We do seem to be apologetic today, don’t we?” Alice gave a nervous laugh to help ease the scowl on his face. “Never mind. Let’s focus on the children and finding them a good home with you. Agreed?”

  “Yes, of course.” He folded the divorce paper before placing it back into the envelope. “We’ll have an early day tomorrow. I’d suggest getting some sleep.”

  She watched as he turned down the lanterns and asked him, “Shall I do the dishes?”

  “Tomorrow.” He went to his coat, putting it on before grabbing the heated pail of water for the animals. “I’ll clean them up before breakfast,” Jack added, and left Alice in the waning glow of the wood stove without a backward glance.

  She sighed. His kisses were beyond anything she’d ever imagined, but she had a commitment to the Home. Alice went to Charlotte’s and her bedroom, finding her sleep dress by touch. She changed clothes and slid into bed, her heart still pounding.

  Alice wanted to settle down here, be the woman in Jack’s life. She’d never considered marrying so soon, wanting to wait. Maybe when the teasing about her being an old maid turned a little more serious, she’d fall in love. So many orphans waited back home for her. Other people could help them, certainly. Alice wasn’t so naive as to think the program would cease when she quit. Plus, other married people placed children. Sure, all the people escorting orphans were men, but still. She didn’t mind being the first married woman.