Choices

by Sydney Lane

  As soon as Jenna disappears into the crowd, Declan asks if I’d like a drink. Instead of explaining that I don’t drink, I tell him I’m the designated driver. That seems to work. And it sounds cooler.

  Declan says he wants to show me around, so I allow him to take my arm and guide me onto the deck. Along the way, he stops to talk to various people. He seems to know everyone, and I get the feeling he is well liked by all of them. He introduces me every time, even when I can tell girls are clearly trying to get his attention. That makes me smile, and I realize I am enjoying this much more than I expected.

  We go inside the house, and he guides me by the elbow. There are even more people inside than there are outside. We push through the crowd until we are in a large room with furniture pushed against the walls. There is a DJ in the corner, and people are dancing in every square inch of the room. Declan leans down, and with his mouth close to my ear, he asks, “You like to dance?” It is so loud, I can barely hear him, but I nod my head. I may seem like a stick in the mud, but I love to dance. I don’t drink. I don’t sleep around. I dance.

  Declan pulls me to him, and we start moving with the music. He is smiling, and I’m enchanted. He is at least 6’4, but with my heels on, we are able to find a fit and dance together. I’m actually surprised that I enjoy dancing with him so much. As one song fades into another, we keep dancing.

  Finally, the DJ slows it down, and Declan moves behind me and pulls me against him. I lean my head back against his chest and move with the music. I’m hot and sweaty, so I close my eyes and try to relax. When I open them, we are facing another couple. They mirror us, with her front toward me. His hand is hanging low on her waist, and he’s kissing her neck. She leans back with her eyes closed. It kind of turns me on to watch. Until he raises his head, and our eyes meet. I know these blue eyes that are dark with desire and filled with promise. He’s watching me as he grinds his hips into hers. I can’t look away, and my breathing gets deeper. I don’t know what is happening to me, but I desperately wish it were me he was holding like that. And slowly, oh so slowly, he lowers his head and kisses her neck, running his tongue along her shoulder. All while his eyes are on me. I can’t break the stare.

  Suddenly, I feel too hot and overwhelmed. I want out of here. I turn to Declan and rise up on my toes to ask if we can go back outside. He takes my hand and leads me through the house, out onto the deck. Taking a few deep breaths to calm myself, I turn to Declan. He smiles. “It can get to be a bit much in there with all of those people. You ok?”

  “Oh, yeah. I’m fine. I just got a little overheated. I think I just need some water or something.” I hope he thinks I’m just flustered from dancing and doesn’t realize I’m turned on by the show I just saw. “Come on. We have some water out here.” He guides me off the deck, toward the tree where there is a cooler that I didn’t see before. It is filled with water and sodas, so I grab a water and take a long swallow.

  Declan spots Jenna and Eric and waves them over. I was having so much fun that I didn’t realize how long we had been gone. Jenna looks relieved to see me. She comes over and links her arm in mine. “You ready to go home, party girl?”

  I tell her I’m ready when she is and turn to say goodbye to Declan. But Eric offers to walk us to our car. All four of us move toward the front of the house. As we round the corner, I am surprised to see Brody and the girl he was dancing with. She is leaning against the wall as he kisses her. I trip on a step and begin falling forward. I am suddenly pulled upright, and Declan has his arm around my waist. It feels a bit intimate, but I like it. I like that he is a gentleman, and he’s not taking advantage of the situation. And I kind of like how his arms feel wrapped around me like this. I mumble a thanks, and try to laugh it off. “I promise I haven’t had anything to drink. You’re my witness!”

  He slides his hand down my arm to hold my hand and guides me to the sidewalk. “I don’t mind as long as I get to catch you again.” I am not sure if he’s flirting or if he’s just being nice, but he doesn’t let go of my hand. Walking beside him, I purposely flirt. Just in case Brody hears us.

  Jenna and Eric are walking in front, leaning into each other with their heads close together. Once, she looks at me over her shoulder and winks at me. That girl had the nerve to wink at me!

  Declan laughs when he sees her and says, “It looks as if your friend and Eric are having a good time. I hope you did, too. Because I sure did.”

  “You did?” I can’t help but ask. I’m still a little unsure of myself, and it helps to hear him say it.

  “Couldn’t you tell? I’ve been wondering all night how I’d get your number and convince you to hang out with me again sometime.” He looks at me with a question in his eyes and a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He actually looks a little nervous. What could he possibly be nervous about?

  He takes his phone out of his pocket, and I reach for it. I program my number into it and say, “If I give you my number, you have to use it.” And I really hope he does.

  Jenna and I get in the car, and she squeals, “He got my number! And you! Girl, I saw you dancing all over Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome!”

  I’m afraid to read too much into it because I don’t want to be disappointed if he never calls. “Yeah, but we’ll see if I ever hear from him again.” And I smile. I admit to feeling a little giddy, wondering if college will always be this fun.

  When I’m finally in bed, I lie in the dark and replay the whole night. I am too excited to sleep because I’m looking forward to the possibilities. Declan was so sweet, so yummy….. Why, then, am I thinking of hungry blue eyes watching me?

  Chapter 4

  The next day is Saturday, and we sleep late because we don’t have plans. That’s my favorite thing about being in college. I can make my own schedule. I do plan to find a job at some point, but I’m putting it off until I get settled in. My sister’s doctor and lawyer bills come with a huge price tag, and I don’t like being a burden to my parents.

  Thinking it might be a good time to call home, I check my phone. One text message.

  Unknown: GM. Had fun last night – Declan

  That makes me smile. He already texted me! I send a quick message back. I don’t want to sound too eager or desperate. And I immediately program his number into my phone. That’s not a number I’d want to lose.

  Me: Me 2 :) – Quincy

  My mom answers the phone on the second ring, and I am relieved. If I call and no one answers, I worry that something has happened with Katie. I know it’s irrational, but I can’t relax until someone calls me back. It’s just the way it is.

  “Hey, honey. How was your first week of class?” I love my Mom’s voice. It immediately soothes my nerves. It just feels like home.

  “It’s been so much better than I imagined it would be! I love my classes, and our professors are awesome. The food is good, and there are so many things to do here. And the boys! Mom, the boys don’t look like the ones from Collier!” Thank goodness for that, I think.

  She’s used to my rambling, but she giggles anyway. “I’m so glad it’s working out. How’s Jenna? I know it makes things so much easier with her there.”

  “She’s doing well, too. You know how she is. Never met a stranger and nothing upsets her.” Jenna is just what I need. I’m a worrier. She’s a fixer. We go together like peanut butter and jelly.

  “I’m just so thankful for her.” Then she lowers her voice. “Your sister misses you.” She sounds a little sad, and I’m sorry for that. It was hard to leave Katie, but I need to be away from her or I’ll never have a chance to be me.

  “Is she home? Everything OK?” I have to ask. It’s the question I’ve been asking every day for the last few years.

  “It’s been a good week, you know? I took her to dinner and a movie. Don’t you be worrying about us. It’s time to take care of Quincy now, alright? I gotta get lunch together, so I’ll chat with you later. Call if you need anything.”

  “Alright. Love you, Mom
.”

  “Love you, too. Bye.” Sometimes, I feel guilty for leaving my parents alone with the burden of my sister. But for as long as I can remember, I knew I’d have to leave Collier if I ever wanted to be happy. To just be me. It’s only a two hour drive from Knoxville, so I can get home quickly if I need to. I hope I never need to.

  My phone buzzes with a text as I’m about to lay it down. I jerk it up quickly and can’t help but smile. I’m even feeling a little giddy.

  Declan: Plans 2night?

  Me: Not yet

  Declan: I’d like to see u

  Me: Sure :)

  Declan: Which dorm? Pick u up @ 7?

  Me: Baxter Hall. CU then

  I lie back in bed and smile to myself. I have a feeling that my college life is about to get interesting.

  Chapter 5

  Jenna bursts into the bathroom while I’m taking a shower. “Guess what? Guess who has a date tonight?” She’s acting like a kid in a candy store.

  “Me! That’s who!” I yell. She isn’t the only one with news. I don’t really have to guess who her date is. Last night, I could tell that Eric was very interested in her. And truthfully, who wouldn’t be? Jenna has always had an active social life, so her unusual excitement tells me she is just as interested in him.

  “What? Did Declan call you? This is going to be so much fun!” She automatically assumes this will be a group date. I’m not sure that’s what the boys have in mind, but it sure would make me feel better to have her with me.

  “Um, Jenna? Are you sure we are going together?” I hope she doesn’t hear my desperation. I’m excited, but my insecurities are kicking in. I barely know this guy. What if he doesn’t like me after all?

  “Stop it, Quince. I can hear you trying to talk yourself out of this. He likes you. I could tell.” How does she do that? It’s like she can read my mind or something. “I’ll let Eric know that Declan asked you to do something, so we’ll go together.” She knows just how to make me feel better.

  I hear the door open and close. She’s gone. Off to do whatever it takes to make sure I’m taken care of. I love that girl.

  I can’t decide what to wear. My mom tells me I dress like a boy. My friends say I have no fashion sense. I just say that I’m a minimalist. My theory has always been that if you have a few good outfits that you can mix and match, you don’t need much. I also don’t buy anything I have to iron because, well, I don’t know how to iron. Call it mother’s guilt, but my Mom always did it for me. It’s her way of paying me back for not being able to give me the attention she thought I deserved.

  I brought one dress with me, and I quickly decide it’s not an option. I grab a pair of gray capris, a dressy black tank, and a pair of silver sandals. That should work for just about anywhere we go. Looking at my clothes all laid out, I smile to myself. I have a date tonight.

  My phone beeps with a text message.

  Declan: E says we’re 2gether 2nite. That OK?

  Me: Sure! OK with u?

  Declan: As long as u go :)

  Awww! That boy is just sweet. He’s totally hot, too. And I have to admit, I like having his attention. I saw the way some of the girls looked at him when he walked through the house. But it’s me he is texting, and that’s enough for now.

  Jenna and I eat lunch, watch some bad reality TV, and try to guess where we are going. It feels nice to be able to relax like this. Back home, I was always walking on eggshells, trying not to tip the scales. You never knew what might set Katie off.

  We separate to go get ready. Again, I’m wearing just enough make-up to show off my features. Less is more – that’s my motto. I pull my hair over my shoulder and loosely braid it. All of my life, I have never cared how I looked. I’d like to say I did all of this for myself or even Declan, but I’d be lying. Part of me is hoping we run into Brody. Brody has “Trouble” written all over him, but maybe I’d like to get into a little trouble.

  When I see Jenna, my jaw drops again. Without trying, she is the prettiest girl I know. Her blonde hair is cut into a chin length bob, longer on the sides than in the back. Her blue eyes are narrow and slanted, giving her an exotic look. She’s wearing another cute dress, and her long legs make a fashion statement of their own.

  “So, what do you think we’re going to do?” She seems to be just as in the dark as I am.

  “Jenna, for once, I don’t care where we go as long as we go together.” I might as well tell the truth. I want to break out of my shell, but it might take longer than I thought it would. Baby steps.

  “OK. Time for a pep talk. We look good. We are in college now. We are going out with two of the hottest guys on campus. We got this!”

  There was a knock on the door just as we bump fists. We burst out laughing. Leave it to Jenna to make me laugh at myself. She runs to get the door, and I hear her greeting the guys.

  This is it. Walk, breathe, smile…I round the corner just in time to see Declan walk through the door. He looks even better than I remember. His face is clean-shaven, and even though he looks good, I think I miss the scruff along his jawline. He looks up and smiles as I get closer. He has a beautiful smile, accented by two adorable dimples. Very boy-next-door. My Mom would approve. Heck, even my Dad would approve.

  Both are dressed casually in dark jeans and untucked button down shirts, left open with t-shirts underneath. Declan’s t-shirt has their fraternity letters on it. Eric’s is a vintage Aerosmith shirt. Maybe if they had had guys like this back home, I would have been more interested in dating.

  “You girls ready to go?” Eric asks. Standing next to Jenna, they look like a dream couple. Declan hasn’t said a word since he walked in. He’s still watching me, and I’m beginning to feel self-conscious.

  “We just want to know where you guys are taking us!” Jenna breaks the ice. Yep, it’s a good thing she’s going.

  “We have dinner reservations, and then we thought we’d hit a club in Old Town or go to a party at the house. You girls can decide.”

  “Sounds good. Let’s get this show on the road.” Jenna is doing all of the talking. She turns to look at me, and she’s motioning for me to say something. Eric puts his hand under her elbow and guides her out the door. Declan hangs back to walk out with me.

  He’s standing close as I lock the door. As I turn to follow Jenna, he puts his hand out to stop me. His gentle touch warms me on the inside. “Quincy, I just have to tell you how pretty you look tonight. I promise I’m not always this quiet, but you’ve got me tongue-tied.”

  “Thanks,” I giggle. “I’m just glad you didn’t change your mind.” I’m only half joking when I say that.

  “Not a chance. I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.” And all of my anxiety magically slips away.

  Chapter 6

  We all pile into Eric’s car, and Declan and I sit in the back. I am pleased to find that he is very easy to talk to, and we all fall into a relaxed conversation. The boys joke back and forth, telling hilarious stories about one another. They were in the same pledge class, and they really do seem more like brothers than friends.

  As soon as we pull into the parking lot, I know I’ll love this place. Naples is a small, locally owned Italian restaurant, and I love nothing more than a good Stromboli. The hostess smiles and hugs each of the guys. I figure that they must eat here a lot. It makes me a little envious, wondering if he brings other girls here.

  Declan sits next to me while Eric and Jenna sit across from us. The server comes, and we place our drink orders. I’m not sure she even sees Jenna or me because she doesn’t once look at either of us. I kind of smile to myself, knowing they have that effect on most girls.

  After placing our order, we begin talking about ourselves. Eric is from Nashville, and he’s a pre-law student. He volunteers at a local homeless shelter three days a week. Declan is from Knoxville, and his family lives nearby. His father is a Baptist minister, and his mother is a school teacher. I am shocked when he announces that he is the chaplain of his fraternity.
No wonder he seems so sweet and thoughtful. He wants to be a teacher, like his mom. Jenna tells them about her cheerleading days and her plans to become an interior designer. Then she brags that I want to become a doctor, and though it embarrasses me, I know they are impressed. We tell them stories about growing up in Collier, but I manage to steer the conversation away from my personal life.

  We eat and talk throughout dinner, and before we know it, we are headed to Club Bliss. “Hey, you know we are only 18, right?” I ask, not wanting to look stupid when we can’t get in.

  “Yeah. Club Bliss is an 18 and over club. Lots of college students. They’ll put a big X on our hands, but you can usually sneak a drink here and there.” Declan explains. I have never been in a club, so I’m excited to see what all the hype is about.

  “Girl, we are gonna dance all night!” As soon as Jenna says that, my mind jumps to a set of blue eyes watching me while I danced, his tongue on another girl’s body. Whoa! Where did that come from? I remind myself that I’m here with Declan. There will be time for daydreaming later.

  As we wait in line, Declan reaches for my hand. I think it’s kind of sweet, and my cheeks instantly heat up. He leans toward me and asks, “You don’t mind, do you?”

  “Not at all.” Then he smiles, and I forget what I was thinking. His smile is so vibrant, so real that it draws me in. He gives my hand a quick squeeze, and I know I’ll never forget this moment.

  We finally reach the door, show our IDs, and get our big Xs. When we go through the door, Declan grasps my hand a little tighter. Man, it’s packed in here… There are people standing at a bar, and a dance floor is straight ahead. When I look up, I realize there are other floors above us, all filled with more people. My senses are overloaded. The music is loud, and I can feel the beat through my body. People are jostling me around as they push past us, and I am assaulted by the smell of sweat and perfume. Jenna looks just as awed as I am. I decide right then and there… I love it. Every bit of it.