Peach Blossom Pavilion

by Mingmei Yip

  I also could not stop thinking about Mother. Though she might be near me, I had no idea where. Several times I'd traveled by car and sedan chair to the many temples on the Western Hills only to return home with a saddened heart. After several months, I finally stopped trying to look for her, though I tried not to give up hope completely.

  I'd been living with Teng Xiong for a year. As time went by, somehow I knew this life could not go on forever. Though the days with Teng seemed to pass easily-we performed, discussed arts, dined in elegant restaurants, rubbed mirrors-I sensed that as a "wind sweeping through the pavilion heralds a rising storm in the mountains," something bad was going to happen. Recently Teng Xiong seemed less indulgent in buying me gifts. When we had sex, her performance lacked the passion she'd shown before. It was she who had used to please me in bed, but now I'd become the one who'd try to satisfy, even arouse, her. Was it Tinkling Bell? Was Teng Xiong now thinking of leaving me for her?

  Whenever I would ask her if something had gone wrong, Teng Xiong would simply say, "Don't worry, Precious Orchid, everything is fine."

  But deep down I sensed some disaster was lurking around the corner. I could almost feel its prickly texture brushing against my arms, causing my hair to stiffen.

  One night after we'd made love, I pressed Teng Xiong to reveal what she'd been keeping from me.

  "All right," she sat up and looked me in the eyes, "Precious Orchid, but please don't get upset-"

  This was the first time I sensed fear in her voice. "Teng Xiong, after all these misfortunes, you think I can't take one more?"

  Her eyes were sad, but her tone was firm. "I'm afraid we have to go our separate ways soon."

  The statement dropped in the room like a bomb.

  I sat up, startled. "What do you mean?"

  She remained silent, her fingers nervously wringing the bed sheet.

  I pressed. "Do you not ... love me anymore? Do you now love Tinkling Bell?"

  "Of course I love you. And I don't care at all about Tinkling Bell." She paused, then, "It's that I ... I'm afraid I might get killed."

  "What?" While I felt a chill splash down my spine, my voice soared toward the ceiling. "What happened?!"

  "I think my husband has tracked me down."

  "Your husband? You mean my favored guest Big Master Fung?" I pulled the bed sheet up over my chilled shoulders.

  She nodded.

  "Are you sure? How do you know?"

  "I've been followed."

  "Teng Xiong, why didn't you tell me earlier?"

  "Because I didn't want you to worry. Besides, only recently have I been quite sure of it."

  "How?"

  "I've noticed in the audience a pair of eyes that follows me everywhere. At first I thought it must be some devoted opera fan. But then I noticed that instead of admiration, the eyes are full of spite. This man is not an admirer, but someone who comes with an evil purpose." She stared at me intently. "Remember that man with a missing finger in the supper club?"

  I nodded.

  "You thought he was sent by your Mama and De to follow you, and I assured you that he was not. I should have realized then that he was sent by my husband to track me down."

  "But Teng Xiong, you're disguised as a man, so how can they-"

  "Precious Orchid, I work in a female opera troupe and I was an opera singer before Fung took me as his concubine."

  "Oh, my heaven! Do you think they've also noticed me as your lover?"

  "I don't think so, not yet. But that's what I worry about." Teng Xiong's fingers kept twisting the bed sheet, which was now all crumpled over her body like a mummy's wrapping. "People in Shanghai thought you ran away with a man, and I can't see how anyone would know about our real relationship. But Fung's underlings are relentless, and sooner or later they'll find out."

  "Oh, my heaven! But how do you know it's Big Master Fung?"

  "Who else?"

  A long silence. Teng Xiong spoke again. "Precious Orchid, I meant to tell you earlier, but just didn't have the heart." She swallowed hard. "Now I have to quit the opera troupe and leave you before it's too late."

  "Teng Xiong, I'll leave with you."

  "No." She looked so determined that my heart sank. "After they've verified my identity, I'll be in big, big danger. I don't want you to be involved in this. Fung is capable of anything." She cast me a penetrating look. "He was a warlord before he turned businessman.

  The word sent a tremor across my chest. "A warlord? You've never told me that."

  She ignored me and went on, "Not only had he killed innocent civilians, he even shot his own daughter."

  I blurted out, "My father was also murdered by a warlord!"

  "Your father, how?"

  "The warlord didn't actually kill him, but had him executed."

  Although I'd let Teng Xiong explore my body like an adventurer setting foot on new territories, remembering my mother's farewell warning, I'd never told her about how Baba had died.

  Not until now. I blurted out everything about my past.

  When I finished, Teng Xiong's face was as white as the bed sheet. "Oh, my heaven, I believe Fung was the one who had your father executed!"

  It took me seconds to absorb this revelation. Then my heart began to beat like hailstones pounding on a windowpane. "Are you sure?"

  "Yes. Because I was there that night. I witnessed the whole incident." She blinked hard, as if by so doing she might wipe the horrible images from her mind. "It was a horrendous sight. The three were entangled, struggling to get the gun. Finally the girl succeeded in snatching it from Fung's hand. The fiddler-your father!-tried to snatch it back but she kicked him in the groin. Then Fung grabbed the gun back. His daughter seemed to go insane. She jumped on her father and started to scratch and bite. The fiddler tried to disentangle them. And that's when the gun in Fung's hand went off and it shot the girl right between her eyes . . . " Teng Xiong pointed at her third eye. Her other eyes looked as horrified as if she were the one who'd been shot.

  I lifted her hand from her face and held it. "So the girl didn't shoot herself but was shot by Fung?"

  Before Teng Xiong could reply, I told her what people believed to be the "truth"-that the warlord got drunk and raped his daughter. Humiliated, the girl grabbed her father's gun and shot herself. When she was struggling with her father for the gun and everyone stood by in horror, my father-the fiddle player-tried unsuccessfully to pull them apart and snatch away the weapon.

  Teng Xiong said emphatically, "No, the girl didn't shoot herself. Fung shot his own daughter."

  An explosion burst inside my head. I could almost see my voice leap out in the air, splashing like blood all over the wall. "He also murdered my father!"

  A long silence followed during which I was too stunned to utter a word. I couldn't comprehend that Big Master Fung, my favored guest, who turned out to be Teng Xiong's husband, was also the warlord who'd had my father executed. I'd traveled all this way only to discover that the person whom I'd been looking for had been right in front of my eyes for all these years. I'd slept often with my father's murderer!

  My throat felt dry; my hands trembled, and my mouth kept muttering, "Oh my heaven! "

  Teng Xiong reached to hold me. "Please calm down, Precious Orchid." Then she released me to take the pot and pour us tea.

  I sipped slowly, ignoring the burning sensation in my mouth. "I had no idea . . . he was my customer for all these years, but he never said anything about himself or his family."

  A long pause, then Teng Xiong cast me a meaningful glance. "Was he nice to you?"

  "In a way, yes. He was generous in buying me gifts."

  She searched my face. "You know why he was nice to you?" She plunged on, "Because you reminded him of his daughter. Like you, she had two dimples. But hers were much deeper, so deep they almost looked like two iron brackets imprisoning her. But," Teng Xiong sighed, "her real prison was her father's obsession. Fung loved his daughter too much for a father."

 
"Then he raped her?"

  "I'm sure he did. Sometimes I think he might have killed her on purpose.

  I was shocked to hear this. "But why?"

  "Because she was getting older and might reveal what he had done to her."

  Some silence, then I reached to touch her.

  Teng Xiong caught my hand and kissed it. "Since the first day I'd entered Fung's household, I thought of running away. After seeing him shoot his own daughter, I knew I had to. We knew he'd kill anyone who leaked a word about what had really happened." She paused, then spoke again. "Since his daughter's death, he's declined rapidly."

  "Why is he not in trouble?"

  "Because he's still very rich. It's not easy to eliminate a person whose safes spill enough gold to blind your eyes." Teng Xiong searched my face. "Precious Orchid, your father was a brave man. Too brave for his own good."

  In my mind's eye, I saw Baba, blindfolded and hands and feet locked in thick chains, being escorted to the execution ground. His feet were dragging, not because of fear, but because the chains were heavy and cutting deep into his flesh. Blood and pus oozed from the ankles where I could smell rotten flesh. The King of Hell was impatiently waiting for him with sharp-nailed claws. Yet Baba's expression was calm, even proud. Because his conscience was clear. His only wrong was doing something right-refusing to be contaminated by the evils of the human heart.

  The executioners lifted their rifles and aimed at Baba. To them, he was just another target for their daily practice. Another unknown victim among a half-billion Chinese. Baba's eyes flickered under the blindfold. His lips moved. But nobody knew what he was thinking or trying to say at his last moment in the red dust.

  "Bang!"

  The explosion ended both Baba's pride and suffering.

  Blood, like crimson lizards, popped from his temple, scurried down his cheek, then leaped onto the ground.

  Now the wall behind him was bare, for my baba had become a crumpled heap on the ground .. .

  The scene was terrifying but then the words came back to me: One does not live under the same sky as his father's murderer. I now knew what was next for me.

  "Teng Xiong, we have to separate anyway because I will go back to Shanghai, to Peach Blossom."

  She grabbed my arms. "Precious Orchid, are you out of your mind?"

  "I didn't stay alive to be a whore. Revenging my father has been my secret reason to live. I'd almost given up hope that I could find this warlord. Now it must be heaven's will that you have told me who he is."

  "Precious Orchid, please listen to me. You can't succeed in getting revenge; he's still too powerful! Even if you kill him while you're serving him in bed, imagine the consequences. It's not worth losing your life for a monster!" Now Teng Xiong was pleading. "Precious Orchid, forget what I told you. Pretend it was a night„ mare.

  "I can't." I gulped down the scorching tea. "I have to go back."

  "Precious Orchid, please. We've gone through all these dangers to find our freedom, so don't be a fool now. Besides, Fang Rong and Wu Qiang won't let you go unpunished for escaping!"

  "The worst is they'll put me in the dark room for a few days, I can stand that. Teng Xiong, I'm sorry, but I have to go back to Shanghai."

  "Please don't! Besides, you don't have enough money to go back, do you?"

  I flinched. Suddenly I realized I'd been living mainly on Teng Xiong's money-I made hardly any from the opera troupe. And her money was, in fact, Big Master Fung's money, meaning my father's murderer's blood-smeared money!

  Teng Xiong spoke again. "Before we go our separate ways, I'll give you some silver. But I'm afraid it won't last long, since we've already spent most of it."

  "How come?"

  "Precious Orchid, all these expensive hotels and elegant restaurants ..."

  I was barely listening, so right after Teng Xiong finished, I said, "Then I'll work as a prostitute again to save up money."

  She threw me a penetrating glance. "Precious Orchid, listen to me, forget about revenge and go on with your life. I'm terribly sorry that I can't help you anymore. I am now but a clod of mud dissolving into the sea-I can hardly help myself. We must go our separate ways. I'm not going to tell the opera troupe and neither should you, but if they see you and ask about me, just tell them you have no idea where I am."

  "Where will you go?"

  "I'm sorry, Precious Orchid, but I won't tell you because I don't want you to be in danger. Just forget about me and go on with your life. But don't worry too much, I'll be fine. You take good care of yourself."

  I doubted she really thought she'd be fine. Her words sounded almost like a funeral song to me. I shivered. She drew me into her arms and pulled up the bed sheet, then we cuddled against each other.

  Teng Xiong gently released me, went to open a bottle of wine, and poured us both full cups. The two cups hit, giving out a tiny explosion.

  "Precious Orchid, ganbei..." Unable to go on, she tilted her head and drained her cup.

  I lifted my cup and poured the wine down my mouth. The bittersweet liquid inflamed my throat then, like a fiery snake, undulated down my esophagus. I put down the cup and began to sing "Beyond the Yang Pass"-a capella, since I didn't have my qin with me anymore. Teng Xiong joined me. In the sadness of the evening, her voice sounded so pure that all my worries and fears seemed to dissolve in its romantic lingering.

  Tears swelled in both of our eyes. Tears of joy. When suffering reaches its peak, there can only be total letting-go, from which exultation emerges.

  29

  Replaying the Pipa

  1 the next day, as I had dreaded, Teng Xiong was gone. She must - have put something into my drink to make me oversleep. On the table, I found a leather pouch with silver coins and a letter.

  My Dearest Precious Orchid:

  Sorry that I have to leave without saying goodbye. I wish I could have left you more money but what I took from Fung has mostly been spent-on supporting the opera troupe and the two of us. I'm not complaining; I just want you to understand.

  Pack your belongings and move on as quickly as possible. Please don't try to find me. Because not only will you put yourself in danger, it'll be of no avail.

  Only Old Heaven will decide whether our paths cross again in this or another lifetime. My only wish is that if we meet again in this floating world, you'll be able to love me. Sometimes I wish we had died under the moonlight, cuddling against each other inside that bell. That would have been a lovely ending for us, don't you think?

  I hope I can have the good Karma to be reborn as a man in my next life so you can finally love me with one mind and one heart. I pray that your Karma will be better than mine. Take good care of yourself so you will have a long and happy life. Please pray to Guan Yin that my next life will be a better one. My last thoughts will be of you.

  May Heaven bless us till we meet again.

  Teng Xiong.

  Tears pooled in my eyes, then spilled onto the letter, smearing Teng Xiong's characters and transforming them into miniature corpses.

  Slowly my eyes wandered to the window and rested on the fishbelly white of the morning sky. Then, seized by a panic, I pulled out my luggage and started frantically to pack.

  Once again, I felt completely alone in the world. I dared not stay around the opera troupe and so I hid myself in a shabby inn and slept to forget my worries. The thought of going back to Qing Zhen flickered, but now that I really could do it, I realized even if I could face the man I had deserted without a goodbye, I could not face life again in that bare temple on the lonely mountain. The only person I had left now was my mother, but I still had no idea where she was. Alone in an unfamiliar city, finding her seemed beyond hope.

  Days and weeks passed. Then suddenly, to my alarm, I noticed the money Teng had given me had already run low, leaving only enough for a few more frugal weeks.

  My plight struck me all over again as I dropped onto my bed. "Oh heaven, what am I going to do?" I thought out loud.

  When my ini
tial fear had waned, another idea emerged-to replay the pipa.

  I jolted. Was it my Karma to live out all my days as a prostitute?

  Though dismayed by the idea, I couldn't think of any other way to get out of my predicament. It took me three agonizing days to make up my mind. After that, as if on cue, things just fell into place.

  It all happened by chance.

  The owner of the inn where I stayed was a woman in her late forties, and a retired prostitute. Seeing that I was alone, depressed, and beautiful, one time she asked me if I needed help. Although the question was posed in the most courteous manner, I immediately understood she knew that I'd been a fellow sister. To my chagrin, flower girls seemed to emit a special scent which could easily be detected by their "comrades." But now I almost felt relieved that she had sniffed me out. It saved so much time now that we each knew who the other was.

  She introduced me to Immortal Cloud-a high-class pavilion like Peach Blossom. But unlike Peach Blossom, Immortal Cloud was new and very small in scale, with only a few girls. Although I still looked young and beautiful, at twenty-three, I was considered declining from my prime in comparison to the fifteen- and eighteenyear-olds. However, the younger ones lacked my sophistication in the arts and skill at pleasing.