Pull Me Closer (Suits in Pursuit)

by Lauren H. Kelley

  She was restless. Lying in bed, Kerrigan allowed her heart rate and breathing to normalize. Twenty minutes had passed since she had come back inside, and it was almost eleven o’clock. Ashley would still be awake, so she decided to give her a call. She picked up her phone and began looking through her recent calls, to redial the number, when suddenly there was light rapping on her bedroom door. Axel? No, couldn’t be. When she peeked through the French doors five minutes ago, he was still working out downstairs. She wrapped the robe around her loosely, walked toward the sound and pulled open the door. Her jaw nearly hit the floor when she saw him standing in front of her shirtless, his body glistening in the low light cast from the room. His right arm extended over his head with his hand resting on the doorframe.

  He leaned in with his head cocked to one side. “Enjoy the show?” he asked with a smug grin.

  She was busted. A surge of heat radiated across her sun-kissed face, and she knew her caramel pigment wouldn’t be enough to hide the redness that colored her cheeks.

  He delighted in her torture as he continued, and the intonation of his voice even more seductive now. “I saw you out on the balcony watching me. Did you like what you saw?”

  The warm glow of light coming from the room and bending around the peaks and valleys of his cut torso incited her senses and libido. Her heart rate increased, and her eyes widened as she watched a single bead of sweat slink its way from the nape of his neck, across his shoulder and down to his heaving chest. She was barely able to find words. “I, I’m sorry. I needed some air. I didn’t mean to.” Forming a thought was hard enough, let alone completing an entire sentence with Axel standing in the doorway nearly buff. She hated that this man affected her this way.

  He leaned into the room more. “Kerrigan, you still haven’t answered my question. Should I come in and get the answer from you?”

  “Yes. No! I mean, yes I enjoyed …. I did watch you, but I didn’t mean to, and no, you shouldn’t come in,” she managed to stammer out.

  Don’t cry. He’s only fooling around. Don’t cry. She told herself.

  He extended his left arm up, placing his other hand onto to the other side of the doorframe. Her breathing quickened. Her gaze traveled his body, insatiable. His gray sweat pants hung low on his waist, exposing the sculpted V-shape of his lower abdomen, and they did nothing to camouflage the massive bulge in his pants.

  That damn grin was planted on his face, as though he knew she was feasting on his body. “Miss Mulls, you sure you don’t want me to come inside? I’ll gladly give you your very own private show,” he said even more seductively.

  “No, please don’t. I’m sorry. It happened so quickly, I really didn’t mean to.” Her eyes felt heavy as tears filled them.

  He studied her for a minute, eyebrows turning downward. As if realizing his offense, he backed off immediately. Lowering his arms, he took a less menacing stance. “Baby, I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m cruel. You were on my mind. When I saw you on the balcony, I knew you were still awake. I wanted to see you one more time before going to bed.”

  She didn’t expect what happened next. He grabbed her, pulling her into his warm embrace. She willingly went, and tears trickled slowly down Kerrigan’s cheeks. She reacted like an immature baby in his arms. “I’m not a voyeur or some weird peeping tom,” she murmured into his slick chest. “I’m sorry I watched you. I do like you Axel, but I need to take things slowly, please. I just get so nervous when you’re around that I don’t know what to do with myself. You scare me,” she sobbed and pleaded. Her head pressed into his naked glistening torso as her tears spilled down the hard ridges of his chest.

  “I know baby. I’m a terrible tease. I’m sorry I upset you. This is new territory for me too. You drive me crazy, and then I lose control. Since you came to work for me, I’ve been watching you every day, and you have no idea how badly I want you. I don’t want to frighten you. I want you to trust me. We can take things slowly, but remember, I’m a man who knows what he wants and I go after it. I’ve wanted you since the day I met you.”

  She calmed down, her sobs quieting. His words were beautiful and made her heart sing. With his hand gently placed under her chin, he tilted her face up so that their gazes met. Sweeping his thumbs gently underneath her eyes, he wiped away her tears.

  “You okay now?” He asked, and then kissed her tenderly on the forehead. His lips lingered there for a few moments, and he stepped back to put distance between them.

  “More than okay. Give me some time to get to know you more, to learn to trust you,” she said softly.

  Her loosely wrapped robe had sprung open, exposing the sexy red nightgown she wore underneath it. Axel stepped back further.

  His eyes swept over her body. The ravenous look he gave unnerved her was as if she were the most luscious, temptress on the earth. “I’ll take you whenever you’re ready to have me. Goodnight Kerrigan. Lock your door.” He took three broad steps backwards to make his retreat.

  She quaked inside, the desire blazing in his eyes the inducement. “Goodnight Axel. I will.”

  Saturday, September 22

  After a refreshing shower, Kerrigan tossed herself onto the bed and called Ashley. She confided in her, sharing every detail of the night before. Ashley was supportive and encouraging, not even once making light of her circumstance with one of her typical smart-alecky quips.

  “Kerri, you really like him, don’t you?”

  “Yes.” Kerrigan paused and inhaled a deep breath. “But, I’m afraid of what it means and of what he wants.”

  “What do you mean? Are you afraid of getting hurt?”

  “Yes, of course. The man can have any woman he wants. I wonder if his fascination with me is driven by something else, sexualizing me because I’m a black woman. I wonder if I’m an experiment.”

  “Kerri, that’s something you two need to discuss. Just because he’s attracted to you, doesn’t make him the bad guy. He’s a man and you’re a woman, and when there’s chemistry like you two seem to have, that naturally leads to … well, you know what that leads to.”

  “Thank you Ash. I’m just so inexperienced at this relationship stuff. You know I have a horrible track record with men. What happens if he breaks my heart?”

  “What happens if he doesn’t? I know I talk a lot of crap about Axel, but don’t doom yourself to be hurt before you give yourself a chance to be loved.”

  Her toes dug into the soft pile, feet planted firmly on the carpet, and she stood. “I hope it’s not too late. Thanks again Ash. I’ll call you later.” Her cell phone went down on the wooden nightstand with a light thump.

  One hand twisted the doorknob. Kerrigan’s throat suddenly dry, shaky legs carried her on impulse into the hallway and downstairs, moist palms sliding across the banister.

  Axel sat behind his desk, his attention captured by his computer screen. The door opened, and a light tapping sound pulled his attention away from his monitor. He swiveled his chair around, looked up, and drank her in with his eyes. God, she’s beautiful. He loved the way the spaghetti strap of her yellow dress hung slightly off her left shoulder with tendrils of her hair flowing over its naked skin. He motioned her to come inside the room. She made her way toward him. Without saying a word, he stood, walked to the other side of the large oak desk and stopped in front of her.

  Her lips parted as though she was about to speak. He didn’t want to talk. Stepping closer to her, their bodies were nearly touching. Her words halted, she stood in silence looking up at him, and then lowered her head. Anxiety hid behind those beautiful eyes, and he imagined she needed to escape his heated gaze.

  Since their sensual kiss on the balcony, he hadn’t been able to think of much else. It would take another bold act on his part to reignite that flame, and he wasn’t at a loss for what to do next. He wrapped his fingers around her left wrist and moved her hand behind her back, pinning it against the small of her waist. Her head lifted, and her eyes found his, widening as a subtle gasp esca
ped her lips. He grabbed her other wrist and pinned it behind her, and then pulled her into him. With his arms swaddling her and their bodies pressed together, he could feel her heart beat wildly.

  She didn’t put up a fight, or protest—only searched his eyes with her soft round ones, timid and willing to surrender herself to him completely. He tilted his head down and covered her lips with his. The second he tasted her supple lips, every inch of him warmed and his stomach tightened. Fueled by raw masculine desire and a rush of testosterone, he devoured her sweet, tender kiss with the savagery of his rough, invading tongue, dipping in and out of her mouth, his lips sucking hers voraciously.

  He released her wrists and pulled her closer, allowing him to deepen their kiss. His hands slid from her waist, then to her behind cupping and kneading her firm roundness. He tightened his embrace and felt her small trembling hands against his chest. Knowing that he affected her in his way excited him to the brink of no return. Their bodies collided in a fit of passionate rage. He backed her into the desk so forcefully that she stumbled onto it, planting her into a seated position on its edge. Her hands gripped his biceps, steadying her quivering body. Their lips remained locked, each one breathless and aching with want for the other. He wedged himself between her legs, opening her wide to receive this girth.

  “Axel, I … I …” She whispered sweetly, managing to break the possessive hold he had over her mouth. “Axel?” She moaned softly.

  His name coming from her lips rang like music to his ears. “Hmm.” The guttural groan escaped his lips.

  Pressed hard against his sweat pants, his erection threatened to pierce through and thrust into her moisture. He shifted his position to make use of his eager fingers. His hand slowly massaged her knee and made its way to her inner thigh—his fingers eager to find her hidden treasure.

  He traced the outline of the thin strip of soaking wet fabric with his finger, the only thing preventing his entrance to her place of ecstasy. She writhed and moaned softly under his sensual assault. He was lost in the moment, and he could take all her pleasure that morning in his office.

  Breaking free of his kiss, she whimpered again. “Axel?”

  “Hmm. You okay?” he asked.

  “Yes. No, I mean I want to, but I can’t … Yes,” She stammered, breathless and strained.

  In an abrupt, swift motion, he stepped back and ran his hands through his hair. His face was a contorted mixture of pain, pleasure, confusion and passion.

  “Whoa. Whoa. Let’s slow this down. I don’t want to stop, but I don’t want there to be any regrets between us, especially after last night. Obviously, you have mixed feelings. Your body is saying ‘yes,’ but your heart and mind isn’t ready,” he said, his coarse words wild and ragged.

  In a hushed whisper with her head hung low, she poured out her heart. “When I came looking for you, I only wanted to explain the reason for my reaction last night. I was overcome with emotions that I’ve never experienced before, emotions that have been dormant inside me for a while.”

  He nodded his head. “I feel the same way Kerrigan. I’ve never had feelings for anyone like I have for you. That’s the reason I want to get to know you better, to learn more about you and share myself with you.”

  Avoiding his eyes, she traced invisible shapes onto her lap with her fingertip. “I don’t know how to handle these feelings. This is new to me. I don’t understand how someone like you can possibly want someone like me.”

  He smiled warmly at her. “A man like me would consider himself lucky to have a woman like you at his side. You’re beautiful, fun and caring and your intelligence was one of the first things I admired about you.” What or who had her insecure?

  “Our lives are on opposite ends of two entirely different spectrums.” Trembling, she wrapped her arms around herself.

  He frowned. “I think we have more in common than either of us realized. We’re not that different, and we’re the same in every way that matters between a man and a woman.”

  “You make me lose control, I forget myself and that makes me afraid. I’ve never lost control of myself with anyone before.” He watched the changing expressions on her beautiful face.

  His pulse raced. “I like that you lose control with me, but I won’t have you unless you trust me with your heart,” he said, shaking his head.

  “I don’t want to be hurt, and you could do that to me easily.” Her voice cracked.

  “If I only wanted a quick score, there are plenty of eager women out there. I will tell you as many times as I have to until you understand and believe me—I want you Kerrigan, only you.”

  He moved closer, careful not to touch her or that would send him over the edge. He had to maintain control in this situation. He loved that she shared this much of herself with him. He took a seat on one of the guest chairs facing Kerrigan who still sat on the desk’s edge.

  He was trying hard to say the right things to allay her fears and gain her trust.

  Her hands folded in her lap, she glanced up, and he held her gaze. “I can’t be the first woman you’ve had strong emotions for. When was your last relationship?”

  The memory was too painful. He breathed in deeply and sighed. “It was years ago. It’s been an awful long time. What about you? When was your last relationship?” He asked, his head cocked to one side.

  She folded her arms across her chest. “I’ve never had one,” she said timidly.

  His head jerked up. “What! Why haven’t you been in a relationship before?”

  “I mean, I’ve dated here and there, and some guys have tried, but I’ve never been interested. Not until now.” She fidgeted with her hands.

  “Well, I’m glad you’ve had a change of heart.” Then a thought occurred to him. Narrowing his eyes, his forehead wrinkled and brows pinched. “I’m a modern man and I know women have needs too. You don’t strike me as the type of woman who does the casual sex thing. What do you do for intimacy?”

  She shifted on top of the desk, her legs swung and she diverted her gaze. “No, I don’t do casual sex. My experiences have been … well, somewhat limited until very recently.” Her cheeks glowed crimson, revealing her embarrassment.

  His face turned to stone. “How recently Kerrigan?” His jaw clenched.

  “This-weekend-recently,” she said, softly.

  Like a heat-seeking missile, his gaze landed on her. “What! Are you telling me that you’ve never had sex, never made out before? You’re a virgin?”

  Her eyes cast down, she fidgeted with her hands. “You say that like being a virgin is a curse. No, I’ve never had sex before. What just happened is the farthest I’ve ever gone.”

  He tilted his head back until it rested against the back of the chair. Remaining silent for several moments, he brought his head down. She wiggled restlessly were she sat. He knew she was uneasy.

  “Axel, what are you thinking? Is this a deal-breaker for you?” Clutching her sides, her voice pitched as if she had ingested a canister of helium.

  He released a low chuckle. His response was serious and strained. “No, this isn’t a deal-breaker.”

  She stretched her brow. “But?” she asked nervously.

  Axel was furious. He shook his head and then stilled his movements. “Kerrigan, did you have any idea what would have happened if I hadn’t stopped last night or a few minutes ago? Were you going to tell me that you were a virgin after I fucked you?” A twinge of pain hit him in the stomach. “Your first time should be unforgettable, only when the time is right. Were you going to give yourself to me right here on my desk?”

  She swallowed hard. “I, I don’t know. I didn’t plan for this to happen. This is all new to me. I was lost in the moment, and well, I was ready, okay.” Closing her eyes, she sighed. “I’m not a child, don’t I get a say?”

  The inflection in his voice rose as his patience dwindled. “You’re not ready and no, you don’t get a say! What kind of man do you think I am? I’ll decide when we’re both ready.”

&
nbsp; He hadn’t meant to scare her with his reaction, but he didn’t know how to explain why he had reacted so badly to her news. He watched her intently as she trembled at his words.

  Eyes blinking fast and darting, her lips curved down. “Are you upset with me because I’m a virgin? I’m sorry.”

  He softened his tone. “Of course I’m not upset with you for being a virgin. I’m upset about what I almost did without knowing. Kerrigan, last night you were in tears at the thought of me getting too close, too quickly.” Slowly lifting his head, he brought his eyes to hers.” You’re not ready. I won’t touch you until you are. I certainly won’t let your first time be on a desk in my study.”

  Tiny wrinkles appeared across her forehead as she frowned. “I didn’t know this would upset you so much. Axel, I’m sorry. I thought you wanted this.”

  He lowered his face into his hand, grabbing his forehead. “Kerrigan, I do want this, I want you, but I had no idea. You can’t give yourself to me just because you think that’s what I want. Virginity isn’t the kind of thing you spring on a guy after the fact. You’re not ready. Go get your things and let’s go.”

  Her shoulders slumped. “Aren’t we spending the day together?” Slowly, she turned away.

  Seeing her hurt and confused expression, he inhaled, closed his eyes and shook his head. “I don’t know.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  She never thought Axel would reject her for being a virgin. She was humiliated. Obviously she’d never felt like a whore before, but feeling like a hard-up virgin slut was probably a close second.

  “I’ll go get my things.” The sting of rejection burned in her throat, and her voice cracked.

  Almost in tears again for the second time in less than twenty-four hours, she spun around and ran as fast as she could move her legs to the guest room, her legs quaking beneath her. She slammed the door behind her and locked it, then slumped to the floor beside the bed. Her tears flowed freely down her face as she clung to herself, and shuddered and shook uncontrollably. In less than a week, she had managed to screw up her first chance at a real relationship with a man she found irresistible. He didn’t want some inexperienced little girl. He wanted a woman. She gathered her few belongings and placed them on a chair next to the bed.