Water for Elephants

by Sara Gruen

  She sits opposite me.

  "Oh," she says leaping up again. "Where are my manners? Would you like a beer?"

  "Thank you," I say. "That would be swell."

  She flutters past me to an icebox.

  "Mrs. Rosenbluth, can I ask you something?"

  "Oh, please, call me Marlena," she says, popping the bottle cap. She tips a tall glass and pours beer slowly down its side, avoiding a foam head. "And yes, by all means. Ask away." She hands me the glass, and then returns to get another.

  "How is it that everyone on this train has so much alcohol?"

  "We always head to Canada at the beginning of the season," she says, taking her seat again. "Their laws are much more civilized. Cheers," she says, holding out her glass.

  I touch mine to hers and take a sip. It's a cold, clean lager. Magnificent. "Don't the border guards check?"

  "We put the booze in with the camels," she says.

  "I'm sorry, I don't understand," I say.

  "Camels spit."

  I nearly spurt beer through my nose. She giggles too, and brings a hand demurely to her mouth. Then she sighs and puts her beer down. "Jacob?"

  "Yes?"

  "August told me about what happened this morning."

  I glance at my bruised arm.

  "He feels terrible. He likes you. He really does. It's just . . . Well, it's complicated." She looks into her lap, blushing.

  "Hey, it's nothing," I say. "It's fine."

  "Jacob!" shouts August from behind me. "My dear fellow! So glad you could join our little soiree. I see Marlena has set you up with a drinky-poo; has she shown you the dressing room yet?"

  "The dressing room?"

  "Marlena," he says, turning and shaking his head sadly. He waggles a finger in reprimand. "Tsk tsk, darling."

  "Oh!" she says, leaping to her feet. "I completely forgot!"

  August walks to the velvet curtain and whisks it aside.

  "Ta-dah!"

  There are three outfits lying side by side on the bed. Two tuxedos, complete with shoes, and a beautiful rose silk dress with beading on its neck and hemline.

  Marlena squeals, clapping her hands in delight. She rushes to the bed and grabs the dress, pressing it to her body and twirling.

  I turn to August. "These aren't from the Monday Man--"

  "A tux on a wash line? No, Jacob. Being equestrian director has the odd perk. You can clean up in there," he says, pointing to a polished wooden door. "Marlena and I will change out here. Nothing we haven't seen before, eh darling?" he says.

  She grabs a rose silk shoe by the heel and chucks it at him.

  The last thing I see as I shut the bathroom door is a tangle of feet toppling forward onto the bed.

  When I come back out, Marlena and August are the picture of dignity, hovering in the background as three white-gloved waiters fuss with a small wheeled table and silver-domed platters.

  The neckline of Marlena's dress barely covers her shoulders, exposing her collarbone and a slim bra strap. She follows my gaze and tucks the strap back under the material, blushing once again.

  The dinner is sublime: We start with oyster bisque and follow with prime rib, boiled potatoes, and asparagus in cream. Then comes lobster salad. By the time dessert appears--English plum pudding with brandy sauce--I don't think I can take another bite. And yet a few minutes later I find myself scraping my plate with my spoon.

  "Apparently Jacob doesn't find dinner up to snuff," August says in a slow drawl.

  I freeze midscrape.

  Then he and Marlena dissolve into fits of giggles. I set my spoon down, mortified.

  "No, no, my boy, I'm joking--obviously," he chortles, leaning over to pat my hand. "Eat. Enjoy yourself. Here, have some more," he says.

  "No, I couldn't possibly."

  "Well, have some more wine then," he says, refilling my glass without waiting for a response.

  August is gracious, charming, and mischievous--so much so that as the evening wears on I begin to think the incident with Rex was just a joke gone awry. His face glows with wine and sentiment as he regales me with the tale of how he wooed Marlena. Of how he recognized her powerful way with horses the very moment she entered his menagerie tent three years before--sensed it from the horses themselves. And how, to the great distress of Uncle Al, he refused to budge until he had swept her off her feet and married her.

  "It took some doing," says August, emptying the remains of one champagne bottle into my glass and then reaching for another. "Marlena's no pushover, plus she was practically engaged at the time. But this beats being the wife of a stuffy banker, doesn't it, darling? At any rate, it's what she was born to do. Not everyone can work with liberty horses. It's a God-given talent, a sixth sense, if you will. This girl speaks horse, and believe me, they listen."

  Four hours and six bottles into the evening, August and Marlena dance to "Maybe It's the Moon," while I lounge in an upholstered chair with my right leg draped over its arm. August twirls Marlena around and then stops with her extended from the end of his straightened arm. He's weaving, his dark hair tousled. His bow tie trails from either side of his collar and the first few buttons of his shirt are undone. He stares at Marlena with such intensity he looks like a different man.

  "What's the matter?" says Marlena. "Auggie? Are you all right?"

  He continues to stare into her face, cocking his head as though evaluating her. The edge of his lip curls. He starts to nod, slowly, barely moving his head.

  Marlena's eyes grow wide. She tries to step backward, but he catches her chin with his hand.

  I sit forward, suddenly on full alert.

  August stares for a moment longer, his eyes shiny and hard. Then his face transforms again, becoming so sloppy that for a moment I think he's going to burst into tears. He pulls her to him by the chin and kisses her full on the lips. Then he steers himself into the bedroom and collapses face first onto the bed.

  "Excuse me a moment," Marlena says.

  She goes into the bedroom and rolls him over so he's sprawled across the center of the bed. She removes his shoes and drops them to the floor. When she comes out, she pulls the velvet curtain shut and immediately changes her mind. She pulls it open again, turns off the radio, and sits opposite me.

  A snore of kingly proportions rumbles from the bedroom.

  My head is buzzing. I am entirely drunk.

  "What the hell was that?" I ask.

  "What?" Marlena kicks off her shoes, crosses her legs, and leans forward to rub the arch of her foot. August's fingers have left red marks on her chin.

  "That," I sputter. "Just now. When you were dancing."

  She looks up sharply. Her face contorts, and for a moment I'm afraid she's going to cry. Then she turns to the window and holds a finger to her lips. She is silent for almost half a minute.

  "You have to understand something about Auggie," she says, "and I don't quite know how to explain it."

  I lean forward. "Try."

  "He's . . . mercurial. He's capable of being the most charming man on earth. Like tonight."

  I wait for her to continue. "And . . . ?"

  She leans back in her chair. "And, well, he has . . . moments. Like today."

  "What about today?"

  "He nearly fed you to a cat."

  "Oh. That. I can't say I was thrilled, but I was hardly in danger. Rex has no teeth."

  "No, but he's four hundred pounds and he has claws," she says quietly.

  I set my wineglass on the table as the enormity of this sinks in. Marlena pauses, then lifts her eyes to meet mine. "Jankowski is a Polish name, isn't it?"

  "Yes. Of course."

  "Poles do not, in general, like Jews."

  "I didn't realize August was Jewish."

  "With a name like Rosenbluth?" she says. She looks at her fingers, twisting them in her lap. "My family is Catholic. They disowned me when they found out."

  "I'm sorry to hear that. Although I'm not surprised."

  She looks up sh
arply.

  "I didn't mean it like that," I say. "I'm not . . . like that."

  An uncomfortable silence stretches between us.

  "So why am I here?" I finally ask. My drunken brain is unable to process all this.

  "I wanted to smooth things over."

  "You did? He didn't want me here?"

  "No, of course he did. He wanted to make it up to you, too, but it's harder for him. He can't help his little moments. They embarrass him. The best thing to do is pretend they didn't happen." She sniffs and turns to me with a tight smile. "And we had a lovely time, didn't we?"

  "Yes. Dinner was lovely. Thank you."

  As yet another silence engulfs us, it dawns on me that unless I want to try leaping across train cars drunk and in the dead of night, I'll be sleeping right where I am.

  "Please, Jacob," says Marlena. "I do so want things to be all right between us. August is simply delighted you've joined us. And so is Uncle A1"

  "And why is that, exactly?"

  "Uncle Al was touchy about not having a vet, and then out of blue, here you are, from an Ivy League school no less."

  I stare, still trying to comprehend.

  "Ringling has a vet," Marlena continues, "and being like Ringling makes Uncle Al happy."

  "I thought he hated Ringling."

  "Darling, he wants to be Ringling."

  I lean my head back and shut my eyes, but this results in disastrous spinning, so I open them again and try to focus on the feet dangling from the end of the bed.

  WHEN I WAKE UP, the train has stopped--can I really have slept through the screeching brakes? The sun is shining on me through the window, and my brain pounds against my skull. My eyes ache and my mouth tastes like a sewer.

  I stagger to my feet and glance into the bedroom. August is curled around Marlena, his arm lying across her. They are on top of the bedspread, still fully dressed.

  I get a few odd looks when I emerge from car 48 dressed in a tux with my other clothes tucked under my arm. At this end of the train, where most of the onlookers are performers, I am regarded with frosty amusement. As I pass the working men's sleepers, the glances become harder, more suspicious.

  I climb gingerly into the stock car and push open the door of the little room.

  Kinko is sitting on the edge of his cot, an eight-pager in one hand and his penis in the other. He stops midstroke, its slick purple head extending beyond his fist. There's a heartbeat of silence followed by the whoosh of an empty Coke bottle flying at my head. I duck.

  "Get out!" Kinko screams as the bottle explodes against the doorframe behind me. He leaps up, causing his erection to bounce wildly. "Get the hell out!" He lobs another bottle at me.

  I turn to the door, shielding my head and dropping my clothes. I hear a zipper running up, and a moment later the complete works of Shakespeare smash into the wall beside me. "Okay, okay!" I shout. "I'm leaving!"

  I pull the door shut behind me and lean against the wall. The curses continue unabated.

  Otis appears outside the stock car. He looks in alarm at the closed door and then shrugs. "Hey, fancy boy," he says. "You gonna help us with these animals or what?"

  "Sure. Of course." I jump to the ground.

  He stares at me.

  "What?" I say.

  "Ain't you gonna change out of the monkey suit first?"

  I glance back at the closed door. Something heavy slams against the interior wall. "Uh, no. I think I'll stay like I am for the time being."

  "Your call. Clive's cleaned out the cats. He wants us to bring the meat."

  THERE'S EVEN MORE noise coming from the camel car this morning.

  "Them hay burners sure don't like traveling with meat," says Otis. "Wish they'd stop kicking up such a fuss, though. We got a fair bit farther to go."

  I slide the door open. Flies explode outward. I see the maggots just as the smell hits. I manage to stagger a few feet away before vomiting. Otis joins me, doubled over, clasping his hands to his gut.

  After he finishes throwing up, he takes a few deep breaths and pulls a filthy handkerchief from his pocket. He clasps it over his mouth and nose, and returns to the car. He grabs a bucket, runs to the tree line and dumps it. He holds his breath until he's halfway back. Then he stops, bent over with his hands on his knees, gasping for air.

  I try to help, but every time I get near, my diaphragm erupts in fresh spasms.

  "I'm sorry," I say when Otis returns. I'm still gagging. "I can't do it. I just can't."

  He shoots me a dirty look.

  "My stomach's off," I say, feeling the need to explain. "I drank too much last night."

  "Yeah, I'll bet you did," he says. "Have a seat, monkey boy. I'll take care of it."

  Otis dumps the rest of the meat at the tree line, leaving it in a heap that buzzes with flies.

  We leave the door to the camel car wide open, but it's clear a simple airing out won't be sufficient.

  We lead the camels and llamas down the tracks and tie them to the side of the train. Then we slosh buckets of water across the floorboards, using push brooms to sluice the resulting muck from the car. The stench is still overwhelming, but it's the best we can do.

  After we tend to the rest of the animals, I return to the ring stock car. Silver Star is lying on his side, and Marlena is kneeling next to him, still wearing the rose dress from the night before. I walk past the long line of open stall dividers and stand beside her.

  Silver Star's eyes are barely open. He flinches and grunts in reaction to some unseen stimulus.

  "He's worse," Marlena says without looking at me.

  After a moment I say, "Yes."

  "Is there any chance he'll recover? Any chance at all?"

  I hesitate, because what's on the tip of my tongue is a lie and I find I can't utter it.

  "You can tell me the truth," she says. "I need to know."

  "No. I'm afraid there's no chance at all."

  She lays a hand on his neck, holding it there. "In that case, promise me it will be quick. I don't want him to suffer."

  I understand what she's asking me, and shut my eyes. "I promise."

  She rises and stands staring down at him. I'm marveling and not just a little unnerved at her stoic reaction when a strange noise rises from her throat. It's followed by a moan, and next thing I know she's bawling. She doesn't even try to wipe the tears that slide down her cheeks, just stands hugging her arms with shoulders heaving, gasping for breath. She looks like she's going to collapse in on herself.

  I stare in horror. I have no sisters and my limited experience with comforting women has always been over something a hell of a lot less devastating than this. After a few moments of indecision, I lay a hand on her shoulder.

  She turns and falls against me, pressing her wet cheek into my--August's--tuxedo shirt. I rub her back, making shushing noises until her tears finally subside into jerky hiccups. Then she pulls away.

  Her eyes and nose are swollen and pink, her face slick with mucus. She sniffs and wipes her lower lashes with the back of each hand, as though that will do any good. Then she straightens her shoulders and leaves without looking back, her high heels tapping down the length of the car.

  "AUGUST," I SAY, standing beside the bed and shaking his shoulder. He flops limply, as responsive as a corpse.

  I lean and shout in his ear. "August!"

  He grunts, irritated.

  "August! Wake up!"

  Finally he shifts, rolling and placing a hand over his eyes. "Oh God," he says. "Oh God, I think my head is going to explode. Close the curtain, will you?"

  "Do you have a gun?"

  The hand drops from the eyes. He sits up.

  "What?"

  "I have to put Silver Star down."

  "You can't."

  "I have to."

  "You heard Uncle Al. If anything happens to that horse, you'll be redlighted."

  "Which means what, exactly?"

  "Chucked from the train. When it's moving. If you're lucky, wit
hin sight of a train yard's red lights so you can find your way to town. If you're not, well, you'd just better hope they don't open the door while the train's crossing a trestle."

  Camel's remark about having an appointment with Blackie suddenly makes sense--as do various comments from my first meeting with Uncle Al. "In that case I'll take my chances and stay right here when the train pulls out. But either way, that horse needs putting down."

  August stares at me with black-ringed eyes.

  "Shit," he says finally. He swings his legs around so that he's sitting at the edge of the bed. He rubs his stubbled cheeks. "Does Marlena know?" he asks, leaning over to scratch his black-socked toes.

  "Yes."

  "Fuck," he says, getting to his feet. He holds one hand to his head. "Al's going to have a fit. Okay, meet me at the stock car in a few minutes. I'll bring the gun."

  I turn to leave.

  "Oh, Jacob?"

  "Yes?" I say.

  "Change out of my tux first, will you?"

  WHEN I GET BACK to the stock car, the interior door is open. I poke my head in with more than a little trepidation, but Kinko is gone. I go inside and change into my regular clothes. A few minutes later, August shows up with a rifle.

  "Here," he says, climbing the ramp. He hands me the gun and drops two shells into my other palm.

  I slip one into my pocket and hold the other one out. "I only need one."

  "What if you miss?"

  "For crying out loud, August, I'm going to be standing right next to him."

  He stares at me, and then takes the extra shell. "Okay, fine. Take him a good ways from the train to do it."

  "You've got to be kidding. He can't walk."

  "You can't do it here," he says. "The other horses are right outside."

  I just look at him.

  "Shit," he says finally. He turns and leans against the wall, his fingers beating a tattoo against the slats. "Okay. Fine."

  He walks to the door. "Otis! Joe! Get the other horses out of here. Take them at least as far up as the second section."

  Someone outside mumbles.

  "Yeah, I know," says August. "But they're just going to have to wait. Yeah, I know that. I'll talk to Al and tell him we have a little . . . complication."

  He turns back to me. "I'm going to find Al."

  "You better find Marlena, too."

  "I thought you said she knew?"

  "She does. But I don't want her to be alone when she hears that shot. Do you?"

  August stares at me long and hard. Then he clomps down the ramp, planting his feet with such force the boards bounce beneath him.

  I WAIT A FULL fifteen minutes, both to give August time to find Uncle Al and Marlena and also to let the other men move the rest of the animals far enough away.