Love Finds Faith

by Martha Rogers

  Brown eyes that twinkled like the stars greeted him on the porch. She hooked her arm through his and leaned her head against his arm. “I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve been lonesome without you.”

  “I’ve missed you more than you know.” He’d been lonesome too and didn’t mind admitting it. After all, he’d already told her how much he loved her and that he wanted to marry her. Of course they had to wait awhile with Pa’s death and all.

  A bitter taste filled his throat and mouth. A lot of things didn’t happen because of Pa. In life he’d been stubborn and slow to do what needed to be done. If Pa had listened to reason and taken care of his health and his business, none of them would be in this situation.

  Mr. and Mrs. Bradshaw greeted him as he joined them in the parlor. Ellie and her mother excused themselves to finish supper preparations and left him with Mr. Bradshaw.

  They sat in the parlor with the aroma of roasting meat and baking bread filling the air. Levi’s stomach growled with pleasure and hunger. He looked forward to the meal ahead. It would keep him going for the rest of the week.

  “Did you know your brother is in town this evening?”

  Levi jerked his head. Micah in town? He’d have to be extra careful not to run into him. “No. I don’t keep up with what he’s doing.”

  “Oh, that’s right. You’re at the Hudson spread now.” He tamped down the tobacco in his pipe and peered at Levi. “Seems to me you should be helping your brother with your own herd. From what your mother told my wife, she misses you, and Micah needs you.”

  If Micah needed him, then why didn’t he come and say so? Not that it would make any difference, but at least Micah would be admitting he didn’t know what to do with the ranch. “My brother is in charge and owns it all now, so he’s the one to make the decisions. I’d only be in the way.”

  Mr. Bradshaw puffed a few times on his pipe and nodded his head. He said nothing, and a completely unreadable expression filled his round face. As county clerk he probably knew more about what went on in this town than any of its other citizens, even the banker Swenson. The thought chilled Levi, and an unsettling sense of disapproval from Mr. Bradshaw wove its way through his body.

  Dinner conversation revolved mostly around the extreme heat and lack of rain. This suited Levi until Mrs. Bradshaw mentioned she’d missed him at church since he’d rarely missed a Sunday in days past. She set a plate with a slice of buttermilk pound cake for dessert before him as she spoke.

  “I’ve missed being there, but I had other things to do.” He had missed being there and hearing Reverend Weatherby. He missed his family too, but he’d never admit it to anyone but Ma.

  Mrs. Bradshaw made no further comment, but the silence grew more uncomfortable by the minute. Ellie pushed back from the table. “I think it’s time to clean up. Levi and I have some things we need to talk about.”

  “You don’t have to help me, dear.” Mrs. Bradshaw reached for her husband’s hand. “Come, Herman, it’ll be like old times for you to help me with the dishes. You two go on and enjoy the evening.”

  Ellie headed for the front door. “Let’s take a walk over by the church.”

  Since she was now standing on the porch, Levi had no choice but to follow. They strolled in silence for a few minutes with her hand tucked under his elbow, but from the set of her mouth, Ellie had something on her mind.

  “Why not just say what you’re thinking? I can see it in your face. You’re not happy with me for some reason.”

  “Oh, Levi, I just hate what’s happening with your family. With your father’s death, it’s hard on them to keep going.”

  “They have Micah. He came home just in time to take over for Pa. They don’t need me.” Even if they did, he couldn’t tuck tail and return like a wounded animal. He had too much pride for that.

  “But they do need you. Margaret has said so often. Micah needs you too. He’s been away for too many years to come back and step into the role of boss on such short notice. And your ma is afraid he might run off again.”

  The best thing would be for Micah to leave. Because if he did, then Levi could return and take over, or could he since the ranch belonged to Micah? He’d do it anyway to help Ma if Micah were out of the picture. Since his brother’s name was now on the deed, his leaving was not likely to happen.

  “Micah won’t leave Ma.” Levi could concede that much to his brother. “He’ll stay around, but he’ll probably end up losing the ranch anyway.”

  Ellie frowned. “If you ask me, you’re being stubborn and bullheaded. You ran off just like he did five years ago, but he wasn’t needed then like you are now. You refuse to go back, and it’s all about your pride and anger at not being at least part owner of the ranch. I think it’s high time you asked the Lord for a whole lot of forgiveness for that pride.”

  Anger flared at her words, but guilt prevented his responding with harsh words. “You don’t understand, Ellie. You grew up with a loving family and sister. Your father dotes on both of you. You didn’t spend your life trying to please a father who had eyes and ears only for his older son who did nothing but get into trouble and cause grief.”

  “I’m so sorry you feel that way, because I’ve heard your father talk about you with pride in his voice and love in his heart.”

  “He sure had a strange way of showing me any kind of love.”

  They had made their way back from the church and now stood in front of her house. Ellie turned to face him. Tears glistened in her eyes. “I love you, Levi Gordon, but until you settle things with your family, I cannot consider marriage to you.” She spun around and hastened up the walk.

  “Ellie, wait. Please.” But his voice fell on deaf ears as she entered the house and closed the door. His heart pounded and a lump rose in his throat. Ellie was the best thing to happen to him, and now Micah had even stolen her from him.

  With clenched teeth he mounted Maverick and reined him toward the edge of town. Music from the saloon wafted in the air, and resentment took up residence in Levi’s heart once again. Knowing his brother, he’d be down there at the Texas Star having a good time despite knowing how it grieved their mother. Levi dug his heels into his horse and raced toward the Hudson ranch, anger roiling in his gut.

  CHAPTER 23

  MICAH RODE BACK to the ranch with Roy and the others after a hard day of rounding up strays and checking brands. They’d lost more than he’d liked, but they still had a substantial herd to drive to market next month. That is, if the weather cooperated and they didn’t lose many more head.

  Roy rode up beside him and reined in to keep pace. “We’ll have to move the herd to the upper pasture soon and give them the extra feed to fatten them up for the trail ride.”

  “How does it look there? Will there be enough grass to keep them going?” He hated to admit he hadn’t been over all of the ranch to scout out conditions, but he hadn’t had the time.

  Roy pushed the brim of his hat back and peered at Micah. He looked none too pleased with the question. “You haven’t been up to those parts yet, have you? Joel ordered the extra feed for the herd early in the summer because of the predicted dry summer. He wanted to be prepared for those last days before heading out.”

  Micah should have known Pa would take care of things like that. If only he’d been willing to share the information and let Micah know what had been done. Pa had planned for the herd but not for his family, but then he’d no idea his life would be cut short. “Your brother helped us get everything ready. I’m sorry he’s not here to help and let you know what was done before he left.”

  Micah’s jaw hardened. “Any reason why you haven’t kept me informed?”

  “No. I guess I assumed you knew what was going on. All that should be listed in the ledgers your pa kept on the ranch business.”

  Entries for purchases and other expenses had been there, but after Pa’s death Micah had no time to do more than glance over them. His anger at Levi’s leaving and Pa’s failure to change his will had blind
ed him so that he’d not paid as much attention as he should have. If he didn’t have to spend so much time out in the pastures, he’d have more time to look at the books more closely. Excuses and more excuses; he could come up with a long list of them, but none of them justified what he’d neglected to do.

  When they rode up to the ranch house, Roy pulled his horse up beside Micah. “I see Doc Whiteman is still here. Hope nothing serious is wrong with Rose.”

  This morning Rose had a high fever from a sunburn she’d suffered yesterday, and Ma sent Margaret into town for the doctor. His young sister may be sicker than he first thought.

  Micah dismounted and hurried inside. Instead of Doc Whiteman, Hannah Dyer sat in the parlor talking with Ma.

  Ma jumped up and greeted them. “Oh, I’m glad you’re home. Doc was here this morning and Rose is fine now. Hannah just came back to check on her, and her fever’s already gone down to almost normal.”

  Micah nodded toward Hannah. “I’m glad to hear that. Thank you for coming all the way out here.”

  Hannah’s smile lit up her face, and Micah’s heart tap-danced. She had been beautiful when he noticed her on the train almost two months ago, but the weeks in Texas had given her face a rosy glow that only enhanced her beauty.

  “I didn’t mind a bit. I’d been wanting to visit with your mother anyway, and now seemed like as good a time as any.”

  Ma pushed Micah toward a chair. “Sit down and keep Miss Dyer company while I go out and check on supper. Miss Dyer has accepted my invitation to dine with us.”

  Micah sat, but he kept an eye on Hannah. Ever since that first day, he’d thought of her as Hannah, but out of respect, he’d never call her that in front of others. Her dark green dress intensified the depth of color in her eyes, but it was the peace he saw continually in her face that drew her to him. Unlike Camilla, she was always so full of love and caring for others. He searched his brain for something to say, but his tongue grew thicker than a side of beef. No other woman from his past, not even Camilla, had this effect on him, and for once he didn’t know what to say or do.

  Finally she smiled at him again and inclined her head toward the stairway. “Rose had a little too much sun yesterday and burned her skin, which left her dehydrated as well. Your mother made sure she had plenty of water today, and I brought out some salve for the tenderness on her face and arms. She’ll be uncomfortable for a day or so, and then it’ll fade away and she’ll be fine. I don’t think the burn on her arms will blister, just be tender to the touch.”

  “Ma tells her to wear her hat and protect her face and arms all the time, but she never listens very well.”

  “I don’t think Rose will stay out in the sun in the future now that she knows how painful it can be.”

  Micah had no response as Ma came back. He jumped up and grabbed his hat from the table. “If supper’s about ready, I need to go and wash up. You don’t need a smelly cowboy at the table.” He headed for the stairs and took them two at a time. The faster he could get away from Hannah, the better off he’d be. He had no business feeling like he did for her, or any other girl for that matter. Until he took care of Pa’s unfinished business, he didn’t need Hannah around to distract him.

  He selected a clean shirt with extra care and made sure his hair was well combed. Knowing she’d be seated either across from him or next to him sent his heart to pounding. He pulled his boots up over clean socks. Time to get a grip on himself. He didn’t have time for a woman in his life, and he’d better remember that.

  Minutes later he sat next to her at the table. When his sisters extended their hands to clasp each other’s for the prayer, Micah reached over and grasped Hannah’s. When her hand rested in his, a wave of heat flooded his arm and swept straight to his heart. Ma squeezed his other one and then lifted her voice in praise and thanksgiving for the meal before them.

  Caught between the two women, he held the hand of one he loved with all his heart and the hand of one he could come to love. When Ma finished, he dropped Hannah’s hand like a hot coal. He had to get his mind going another direction right now.

  Fortunately the women at the table took over the conversation, and Micah ate in relative solitude, but the turmoil in his heart barred any peace or comfort from filling it.

  After dinner Ma insisted that he accompany Hannah back to town as the evening would turn dark before she could make it back alone. Both wanting and dreading the next half hour or so alone, he tied Smokey to the back of the buggy and then assisted Hannah up onto the seat. Unlike that first day, this time she stepped up with no hesitancy or awkwardness.

  He joined her then flicked the reins to head the horse toward town. The setting sun painted the sky with an array of colors that grabbed at Micah like a clamp on his soul. Nowhere else had he ever found a sunset quite like those here in Stoney Creek. A heart that had hardened against a God because of problems and sorrows couldn’t help but admit that God did exist and had made a beautiful world.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it? God really knows how to put on a show in Texas. Don’t believe I ever saw anything quite as colorful back in Mississippi.”

  Micah jerked his head at Hannah’s words. Had she been reading his mind? He stared at the woman beside him, and warmth he couldn’t describe filled his being from the inside out.

  She cleared her throat, glanced away, then said, “You don’t really care about taking care of the ranch, do you? If Levi were doing it, you’d be off doing something else.” She turned to gaze into his eyes.

  With those incredible eyes staring at him, Micah could no more hide his feelings than he could lasso the moon. “No, I don’t like being in charge at the ranch, and yes, I do wish Levi would come home, but that’s not going to happen anytime soon.”

  She said nothing in response but continued to stare at him. Suddenly all he wanted to do was confess everything to her. He swallowed hard then blurted out an apology. “About seeing me coming out of the saloon, I’m sorry you had to know that.”

  Surprise and gratification filled her eyes, but she shook her head. “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to, since you’re only hurting yourself. I think I understand what might be driving you to drink, but it isn’t the way to solve your problem. Only God can help.”

  A snort burst forth before he could stop it. “That’s a good one. God sure hasn’t been much help so far.” How could he be confiding so much in this girl already? Camilla and he had never talked this way.

  “I think Levi is as miserable as you are, especially since Ellie said she couldn’t consider marrying him if he didn’t set things right with you and your family.”

  Micah allowed Hannah’s words to sink in. Remorse for all the trouble he’d caused nibbled at his conscience, but he merely frowned and shrugged. “If my brother is fool enough to let a girl like Ellie slip through his fingers all because of his pride and refusal to come home, then he deserves every bit of misery he might encounter.”

  Looking up, he encountered Hannah’s disbelieving stare. She sighed, and he could tell she was choosing her words carefully. “I have two brothers, and all I know is, I would move heaven and earth to fix things if I knew that something stood between us.”

  “I’m afraid you are a better person than I, Miss Dyer.”

  “I highly doubt that, Mr. Gordon.”

  Micah was unexpectedly gratified at her response but dared not contradict or confirm it. They rode the rest of the way in silence, and when they entered town and arrived at the Whiteman home, Micah breathed a sigh of great relief. How much longer he could sit beside this woman and not say more things he’d regret, he didn’t know, but now it was almost over.

  “You can leave the horse and buggy out back. Manfred will come out and take care of it.”

  He pulled around the house as she had instructed then jumped down. He helped her down, and as he did so, his hands lingered longer at her waist than they should have.

  Once again Hannah gazed up at him. To his surprise, tears in her ey
es glistened in the fading light. She lifted a hand to his face. “Micah, I’m praying for you and Levi to come to an understanding. Two brothers should be working together, not against each other.”

  Then she reached up and kissed his cheek. “Take care, Micah Gordon.” With that she whirled around and rushed into the house.

  Micah fingered his cheek. A hard place in his heart softened, and he opened his mouth to call her back, but his throat closed up and no sound came. Despite his growing attraction to Hannah, he couldn’t become involved with another woman. He untied Smokey and swung himself up into the saddle.

  No matter how long she prayed, if his brother wouldn’t come home, it’d all be for naught. In another day, another time, they might have had a relationship, but not now, and most likely never.

  The bright lights from the saloon beckoned. Maybe he needed one shot for the long ride back home. He shook his head and turned Smokey to the road. Not tonight. He needed a clear head to go over Pa’s books once again. Why he’d neglected the one aspect of ranching he did enjoy was beyond him. Whatever the reason, from now on he wouldn’t have to ask Roy; he’d know for himself.

  In an effort to avoid her sister, Hannah raced up the back stairs and to her room where she threw her body across her bed. Her lips still tingled from the kiss she’d given Micah, and her cheeks burned from humiliation at being so forward. What must he think of her now? Bad enough he pitied her because of her bad leg, but now he must believe her to be desperate for affection since she’d been so bold as to kiss him when they weren’t even courting.

  Tears stung her eyelids, but she forced them back and swallowed a sob. Now she’d ruined everything, but it had seemed like such a natural thing to do. The sadness in his eyes had gripped her heart, and all she wanted was to help it disappear.

  She rolled over and stared at the ceiling. “Hannah Dyer, you are such an idiot. It’ll take a lot more than a peck on the cheek to make that kind of sadness disappear.” In fact, nobody would be or could be happy until the Gordon brothers worked out their differences.