“Trust me, Lily. I’m working on it, you have to believe me.” I stared him out, and felt I was forcing him into a corner, making him choose, when he had no choice to make really.
He had committed to Kara before he knew me. He couldn’t turn his back on her now. He let go of my hands and brought them up to my face. His thumb pad smoothed over my cheek, as the palm of his other hand cradled my jawline.
“We’ll make it work. We have to try, and the situation won’t go on forever.” He smiled and dipped his forehead to touch mine. He looked into my eyes, and I couldn’t help myself. I licked my lips and closed the space between us. It had been so long since I had kissed him. I needed to feel close to him, to touch him, to taste him.
My lips closed on his and his head immediately tilted, his tongue pushing gently into my mouth. He curled it around mine, and I moaned loudly.
He trembled in anticipation, his body vibrating next to me as he held himself back from unleashing his pent up feelings of passion, pain, hurt, love, and desperation.
I knew this because, like him, my body hummed as well. I was desperate for his hands to be on me, for him to claim me properly as his. I also needed him to be mine.
His hand slipped around my shoulder and grasped the back of my neck, sending shivers throughout my body from the tip of my head to my toes.
The sensation pulled in my core, making my juices seep and drench the material between my legs. His touch did crazy things to me.
He made me lose control of everything. Alfie pushed me back and lay on me. His hard body, crushing down on mine as his kiss became much hungrier.
“You’re crushing me,” I mumbled against his lips, struggling to fill my lungs, partly due to the kiss and partly because of his weight on me. He rolled us over and pulled me on top of him.
“Better?” He smirked, looking up at me with lust in his eyes.
His hands moved from my back to my ass, and he thrust up a little pressing himself against me. I almost lost control when he did that, and ground myself against him a little. I was holding myself back, trying not to let him know exactly what he did to me every time he touched me.
If we did anything, it would be because I wanted to, not because he manipulated me. He slid his hands deftly down the back of my jeans, cupping my ass through my little lace panties. “Fuck, so sexy,” he hissed into my neck before kissing me again.
Our kisses left us both breathless. It had felt like forever since the last time we did this. He panted, and glanced at me smiling, before muttering in my ear. “Same again… less clothing!” His voice was husky, his eyes had changed with more green showing his lust for me.
He flipped me over and stood up, pulling me off the bed to stand in front of him. He smiled that sexy lopsided smile, his eyes locked in a stare with me that was so intense it was almost palpable.
He put his face in my hair and inhaled deeply. “You smell amazing, honey.” His hands wrapped around my lower back, and he pulled me into him, touching me from our lips to our hips. “We’re not fucking losing this,” he growled before kissing me passionately again, pulling me against him tightly.
It was a fierce, angry kiss, and my lips felt bruised and swollen by the time he pulled back again and left me struggling to breathe. “Less clothes! Much less clothes… I need to feel you, skin on skin,” he mumbled again, putting his arm over his shoulder and pulling his own t-shirt over his head.
I crossed my arms, about to lift the hem of my t-shirt. He put his hands over mine. “No…me, I want to do that.” His stare was serious. Gazing into my eyes, he gripped the bottom of my top as he began to lift it.
His thumbs brushed over my breasts as he pulled it up. “You’re so fucking fine, baby. Breathtaking… steals my breath away, Lily,” he murmured as he pulled the material above my breasts.
His hands left my clothing after pushing my t-shirt high and cupped my breasts through my bra as his head dipped to kiss them through the material before finishing his task.
He stood away from me and checked me out appreciatively. “So fucking beautiful, you fulfil every fantasy I ever had of a woman. You have no idea of what you do to me, Lily.”
I didn’t smile; I wasn’t interested in him telling me how beautiful I was or what he wanted, I wanted him to make me forget everything for a while.
I reached out and unbuttoned the waistband of his jeans, my fingers hooking onto the zipper. I slowly pulled it down, and slid my hand inside. Alfie hissed, inhaling sharply. “Ah, fuck, so fucking good,” he whispered and threw his head back.
My fingers wrapped gently around him, and I slowly pulled my hand up the length of his shaft, rubbing and palming him before hooking my thumbs into the band and pulling his jeans down his legs. I bent my legs and crouched before him, taking the heavy weight of him in my palm again. He felt soft and velvety but solid at the same time.
He pulled my hands away, and held them in his outstretched arms, grinning devilishly at me and shaking his head. “I’m not letting you play with that tonight. I’ll come, and the only place I plan on doing that is inside you.”
It turned me on when he spoke dirty to me like that. “Who says you’re doing that?” I frowned. He pulled my arms down by my sides and held them tightly, restricting me from moving them.
“Who says I’m not?” He smirked and winked at me, before he released my arms, pushing me back onto the bed and began tickling me.
His playful smile dropped, and he was suddenly serious. He began to undo the button of my jeans, dipping his head to kiss my belly. He pulled my jeans down slowly.
His hands quickly skimmed between my legs and across my panties. He followed the rough jean material with kisses on each leg as he dragged them down to my ankles.
He lifted my legs up and pushed my knees to my chest, my jeans restricting my leg movements. He buried his nose into the lace of my panties, quickly followed by his mouth. Kissing and sucking me through the lace.
“Oh, shit!” I screamed as the suddenness of his mouth on me made my juices pour out of me onto the flimsy material.
“You’re fucking soaking wet,” he growled, and pulled the material between my legs to the side with his teeth.
“Damn,” he muttered. “So ready for me, so wet, you’re too fucking much for me.” He growled a loud guttural sound as he pulled my panties to the side and buried his tongue deep inside me. I was on my side, pinned to the bed, and I couldn’t move.
His hands clamped over my hips and pushed me down, as his tongue flicked around and inside my wet heat. I groaned with delight at the sensation of his strong tongue, taking me higher, making my body coil as tightly as a spring until I came undone. “Alfie, yeah, yeah, shit… stop.”
Alfie’s tongue slowed, but kept moving on me with slow, featherlight flicks and kisses. He raised his eyes and looked at me. He lifted his head,“Okay?”
I smiled. “If that was okay, I’m scared of the great,” I teased playfully.
He grinned and widened his eyes. “I could do this all day to you,” he murmured softly. “Your taste is like nothing I’ve had, but it’s something I never knew I couldn’t do without until I’d had you.”
He planted a chaste kiss on my mound then fell back on his heels before lifting my legs and parting them at the knee again, hooking them over his shoulders. “Get out of that one,” he teased.
My jeans were still around my ankles, the lower half of my body was completely at his mercy. Alfie’s fingers curled around the lace of my panties, and he tugged hard, ripping them clean off of me before throwing them behind him. “Now, then, enough of this novice shit. It’s time to get serious.”
He wiggled his eyebrows, his face looking like he’d been told he’d won a full scholarship to porn school. I giggled at his humor. This was the Alfie that stole my heart.
He stopped what he was doing and was lying still between my legs.
“What are you doing, Alfie?” He hadn’t moved for a full minute.
“Just… looking,”
he stated, as if it was perfectly normal to have an interlude in the throes of passion. I giggled and scrunched my body forward, swatting his head.
He gave me eye contact. “What?” he asked, giving me an I’m-not-doing-anything-wrong look.
“This is kind of embarrassing for me, lying here with you doing that, Alfie.” I smirked, briefly hiding my eyes and tried to twist my hips to close my legs a bit.
“Why? Lily, you could totally be a vagina model.” He looked completely serious, and I belly laughed. He chuckled with me. “I’m dead serious, Lily, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a prettier one.” He kept looking back at it as he spoke to me.
I just stared at him, my mouth gaping that he was really studying me. “I mean you’re outer lips, what are they called?”
I cringed. “Labia Majora.”
“Yeah, the puffy ones, you have just enough, not too much.” I giggled again.
“Seriously, Alfie, can you stop, this is turning into an anatomy session.”
He grinned and chuckled again. “Your point being?” He was deadpan, looking in disbelief at me.
“How would you like it if I stared at your cock and discussed with it with you.” He bent forward and kissed my vagina lips, his tongue dipping inside me.
He kissed it as thoroughly as he did my mouth. He raised his head again. “I wouldn’t mind, I know I could easily be a penis model.” He grinned. “Or a snake decoy.”
I burst out laughing again. “What the fu… a snake decoy?” He looked down, checking his cock out before looking up and grinning at me again.
“Definitely, it’s long enough, don’t you think?” I giggled, but stopped abruptly when he focused on my core again.
He kissed it thoroughly again and replaced his mouth with his fingers, sliding first one, then two inside. “Damn, so wet and ready for me. You’re a great kisser down here by the way.” He gestured with his eyes to my pussy lips. “Did I ever tell you that?”
I chuckled. “You’re insane.” He gave me a lopsided smile.
“Only when I’m with you, Lily, it’s your fault.”
Alfie lifted my legs back over his shoulders and pulled my jeans completely off. I groaned, my legs ached. I didn’t realize this until I had freedom of movement in them again.
Alfie crawled up and turned to face me, lying alongside me. This wasn’t like Alfie, usually he was all over me and didn’t stop until he had what he wanted from me.
“What’s wrong with you, Alfie?” I turned and made eye contact with him, holding his gaze, stroking his strong, smooth abs. He shivered.
He stared back in silence and swallowed noisily, pulling me into his arms and holding me close to his chest. I could feel his heart beat inside it. Steady, strong and slow.
“I’m sick, honey.” My heart stuttered in my chest, I pushed back to rise on my elbow to look at him. No! He can’t be.
“You’re sick?” He nodded.
“I don’t think if I’ll ever recover,” he muttered shaking his head.
I was numb, waiting for the adrenaline to kick in and for me to freak out. Then he smiled. “I’m fucking lovesick, Lily. I told you, you were killing me.” He winked and chuckled at me.
CHAPTER 21 – CONFESSIONS
“Turn the light off, honey.”
I stared at Alfie’s face in disbelief. “Mr. Voyeur wants the light out now?” I teased.
“I’m not fucking you, Lily. I do have some restraint, turn the light out,” he said dryly.
That was a frustrated reply if ever I heard one. I switched the nightstand light off and curled back into his arms, kissing his smooth defined pectorals and inhaling deeply against him.
His skin felt so good under my hands. “Why?” I asked, rubbing my palm up and down his arm. Alfie shuddered and broke out in goose bumps.
“Hey, you’re giving me goose bumps again.” He chuckled sexily, his rich voice sounding husky in the dark.
“Good to know, but you didn’t answer my question,” I said deadpan.
“I can wait for you. I’m waiting until we have more time.” He took my hand, wrapped his around it and pulled it into his chest, releasing a loud sigh of contentment.
“You don’t have a sexually transmitted disease do you?” I asked him teasingly.
“I’m clean, I’ve been checked, and besides, if I have, you gave it to me.” A subject that had started out as a tease was now a very real issue that I needed to deal with.
I rose and rested my head on to my hand, facing him in the dark. “How do you figure that, and I’m not diseased,” I scowled and snipped at him.
“Then it’s all good,” he answered deadpan again. “I haven’t been with anyone else since I’ve been with you, Lily.”
I considered his answer. “Since the New Year you mean? I believe you when you told me what Kara is to you.”
Alfie sighed. “No, honey, I haven’t been with anyone since our first time.” I lay in stunned silence at what he was telling me.
I swallowed hard, not knowing what to say. He knew I was with someone else after him. Max had made that abundantly clear at the store, when Alfie had invited us to his place with some of our friends.
“You’ve gone quiet, Lily? I know what you’re thinking.” Alfie shifted and came up to meet my face with his in the dark. He found it and cupped it with his hand.
“I’m okay, Lily. I hate that you may have been with someone else, but it’s not your fault. It’s mine.” His voice was almost inaudible as he said it. I wouldn’t have been as gracious about this, that’s for sure.
“It was complicated, Alfie.”
Alfie silenced me. “Shush.” His mouth kissed mine softly, but I was persistent with him.
“No, if we’re starting fresh, then we need to do this, all of it. There needs to be no secrets between us. I don’t want to start something with you and for there to be a cloud that may or may not burst over us at some point, taking me back to how I felt on New Year’s morning.”
Alfie reached up and tried to pull me down to hold me. “No Alfie, don’t. I need to be honest with you.” He lay there for a few minutes. Exhaled and rolled on his back.
“Shoot.”
I sat up in the dark, trying to find the words, my heart beat thumping erratically knowing that what I was about to do could sabotage any chance at a relationship with him.
“Max. I had sex with Max.” He gripped my hand, and it felt tight.
“I know. I saw the way he looked at you, the bastard couldn’t keep his hands off of you.” I didn’t know why, but I needed him to understand the circumstances around what happened with Max. “Max and I…”
“Don’t. I get it, Lily. You don’t need to tell me any more. It happened, but you won’t see him again, right?” I was relieved that he was able to forgive me for being with Max.
I struggled about mentioning the one thing that could be the game changer. Will. It wouldn’t be fair for Alfie to think that I hadn’t been with anyone else.
I had a dilemma though. He hated the thought of me and Will being together. What if I didn’t tell him, and Will decided to tell him. Maybe Will would let it slip if he was drunk, or jealous, or if Alfie goaded him.
Will might decide to tell him in order to hurt him, for hurting me. I didn’t feel I had a choice in this, Alfie needed to know, and I would just have to try to deal with whatever came as a result.
“There’s more, Alfie.” I was petrified when I said it. “If we’re doing this, you need to know all of it.”
He shifted again. “Will?” I sat silently, tears streaming down my face. I had judged Alfie wrongly, here I was the one playing the field.
When I spoke, I sounded pathetic. “Yeah,” I whispered, sniffing and swallowing hard. Alfie didn’t speak, but inhaled sharply and blew out of his nose heavily, rolling away from me to lie facing the window.
“Shit. Why, Lily? When? Why lie to me, I asked you outright about that, you stared me down and told me I was crazy.” I reached out to touch him, and
he tensed. My heart cracked right down the middle at his rejection of me.
“Something happened with Will after you asked me Alfie,” I muttered softly. “It was a mistake, one that I deeply regret now. It should never have happened.”
I sighed and continued, “It happened at Mandy’s birthday bonfire party, we weren’t seeing each other,” I whispered.
Alfie didn’t move, but his voice echoed his disappointment and hurt. “But he was seeing Saffy, wasn’t he? That didn’t stop both of you, though, did it?”
I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, tears rolling freely down my face. He was right, I made Will cheat, I should have said no to him. At least that was what he would be deducing, and no matter how it was dressed up, he was right.
Alfie turned to look at me again in the dark. He could see my expression with the moonlight shining. I could barely make out the outline of his features as he faced me with the glow behind him.
“What happens the next time you’re drunk alone with him, Lily? You’ve both crossed the line.”
“No, I’ll never sleep with him, Alfie, hell I have no idea what happened. I’m not attracted to him like that, at least not normally.”
He sighed. “Well, that’s a relief, as long as you only sleep around when you’re drunk.”
His low, terse voice stung back at me. Alfie pushed himself up onto his elbow again, and I could feel his breath on my face. “Well, you can’t say the same for him. Once he’s tasted you, he’ll try again. Hell, it’s probably killing him that he hasn’t already.”
I shook my head, “I think your bias Alfie, just because you feel that way, doesn’t mean all men want me.” He sat up, his face next to mine.
“I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Lily. The way every guy looks at you. Believe me they want you.”
My voice sounded small and weak. “You can talk, every girl around campus notices you, Alfie. I’ve seen them checking you out, overheard the things they would like to do to you. I’ve largely ignored it otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten to this point between us, as fucked up as it is.”
I sat up on my knees, he lay back down and rolled onto his back again, and I looked down at him. “Alfie, tonight started off with you trying to win me over, yet suddenly we’re here, talking about how I’ve fucked up?”
Everything She Needs (The Everything Trilogy) Page 16
