I hadn’t been ready to date since Alfie, and the way my band members protected me gave me the time to move on without falling into a rebound relationship. It didn’t help to know that he was here in Miami though.
CHAPTER 31 – SHOCKS AND AFTERSHOCKS
I drove home still in a daze. I couldn’t afford to be off my game. I had a performance tonight, and I was determined not to let the guys down. I was one of them. That came with big responsibilities no matter what was going on in my personal life.
I showered and changed into a little skater dress and stopped by the mall for a mani-pedi on the way to the club. I was going to make myself feel better and give the performance of my life just to prove to myself that I wouldn’t let Alfie fuck with my head again.
My chosen outfit was a loose, black leather vest that was cut away just below my breast on one side a lace black bra underneath. This had a matching soft, short leather skirt, and I completed the look with a pair of, what was becoming my trademark, high heel shoes. I was accessorized with various chains and a studded belt.
I spent extra time on my appearance, and it didn’t go unnoticed by the guys. “Damn Lily, That’s an orgasmic outfit! I’m gonna cream my pants on stage looking at you holding a guitar.”
“Who’s the lucky guy?” Cody’s voice was husky. I giggled.
“What, this old thing?” I teased, “and stop being so crude about me.”
Shawn cleared his throat when he saw me. “Shit!” He pulled his hand over the back of his head and began to walk out of the dressing room.
He snickered. “Fuck Lily, You know those promises of covering our mistakes you made at your audition? I think we might have to call some of those in tonight.” I couldn’t understand it. I mean it was only a bit of leather.
Lennon swung his head around the door and was about to speak, but his eyes met mine, and his jaw stopped moving. With his mouth wide open, he walked in slowly, like he was stalking me.
“No! No way! Absolutely. Fucking. Not!” He looked horrified. “Have you got anything else with you?”
I stared at him in disbelief. “What do you mean, don’t you like this?”
He snickered. “Like it? Like it? No! Damn Lily, you can’t wear that on stage with us.” I swallowed hard and felt hurt.
I thought it looked okay. “I think I look fine.” He chuckled, but sneered at the same time.
“Fine, fucking mighty fine, Lily, you need to get the damn thing off or we’ll be so distracted, none of us will earn any money tonight.”
I shook my head. “I don’t have anything else with me.” Lennon looked at Cody and pointed at the door, and he looked like he was gritting his teeth before he spoke. “Get her a band t-shirt or she’s wearing mine. She’s not going out there like that.”
He sounded like my father, and waved his pointy finger up and down at my attire. Cody chuckled. “See?” I felt a little embarrassed at Lennon’s reaction. I was power dressing that’s all.
I stood my ground and got to wear what I wanted; they might have dictated the song choices and running order, but I could still choose what I wore, right? I persevered with my outfit, but was self-conscious about it.
We played well despite the drama around what I was wearing, and when we came off stage a fan lunged at me and grabbed my arm. Cody and Lennon were there instantly. I held my hand up wanting them to let me deal with him myself. He might have only have wanted to say, “hi”.
The fan was dressed quite well. His shoes and button-down shirt were Armani. He smiled innocently. “Hi Lily, are you enjoying being in the band?”
I smiled back. “Yeah, the guys are great thanks” I was proud of myself. This was easy, he had a nice smile.
He spoke again. “So do you want to come and sit on my face later?”
Cody tensed, and I put my hand out on to his leg to stop him. Keeping my calm, I smiled sweetly. “So… sit on your face, huh?” I stood as if I was contemplating it, pretending to check him out.
I looked back at Cody and winked before turning back to the guy. “Why would I do that? Is your nose bigger than your dick?”
The heckler’s jaw dropped and hung open. I didn’t wait for a reply, just turned and walked away, leaving the scene ringing with belly laughing from everyone around him.
Cody had a serious talk with me afterwards about what had happened. He told me that I was beginning to get a male following, and as funny as tonight was, I needed to think about the image I wanted to present.
This made me think. “Do I look slutty, my outfit was a bad idea, wasn’t it?” He placed his hand on my arm.
“Not at all honey, you’re so smoking hot. Even in sweat shorts, you’re gonna attract some crazies.”
I raised my eyebrow. “You’ve checked me out in sweat shorts?” He smirked and openly checked me over.
“You’d get checked out in velour robe honey. You’re so fucking gorgeous. Seriously though, when you’re in a band, you attract freaks. We don’t want anything to happen to you that makes you want to leave, that’s all.”
We went back to the dressing room after the gig and got changed. I didn’t feel like socializing, but it was part of what was expected of us when we played at the clubs.
We went to the bar and sat at our usual booth. A girl came over wearing some very skimpy shorts. They barely covered her ass cheeks.
In fact, when she bent forward the backs didn’t cover her ass at all. She was wearing some kind of bikini or bra top with sequins and had the biggest cleavage I’ve ever seen.
She shimmied around me and planted herself on Cody’s lap; his face looked like he was lost at sea, and her breasts were some kind of under chin buoyance aid. He grinned cheekily at Lennon, and his eyes went wide.
Cody shifted himself under her, she had obviously had some effect on him because his voice was a bit breathy after she sat on him. “You need to consider what you’re wearing Cody,” I teased.
Digs shook his head. “Fucking A, Lily.” He grinned.
I ordered a vodka and cranberry, and the guys all drank beer. When the waitress brought them over, she passed the drinks around and handed me a note. Thinking it was from a fan, I smiled and hoped it wasn’t something smutty.
Shawn noticed and began to jibe. “Lily’s got another proposition. You want me to check it out for you.” I shook my head and left it on the table. Lennon went to pick it up, and Digs swiped it away from him.
“It’s not yours, dude. Mind your own business,” he teased.
Digs passed it back to me. “If the guy wants to fuck you, I’ll break his jaw, but it may be something sweet.” He winked.
I felt embarrassed, and I wasn’t about to read fan mail in front of this lot, so I tucked it in my bra to read later. I managed to clear out at 1am. Louie sent the car around for us.
Cody disappeared with Candy. I doubt that was really her name, but at least she had chosen a name befitting what she was offering Cody. Lennon and Shawn came in the car with me. Digs decided to stay when he met up with some old school friends.
The apartment was empty when I got home, and I went straight for the OJ, singing was thirsty work. I crossed my arms and pulled off the blouse I had changed into post-gig, and the paper note scratched my arm.
I smiled and pulled it out, unfolding it. I expected to find some crass comment from someone who had seen the show. My heart literally stopped when I recognized Alfie’s messy handwriting.
Lily,
Tonight wasn’t planned, just a case of right place, right time, or wrong place, wrong time, depending how you look at things. I stood mesmerized by you tonight. You were everything I knew you could be, and you are amazing.
Your vocals, improvisation, musical ability, outfit, and band choice were all completely on the money. Overall, a definite ten. I’m so proud of you. My little Lily has graduated to be the bad-ass-sassy-rock-chic I always knew was in there. Glad I got to see you. Alfie X
I felt sick, he had been in the crowd watching me, and I never saw
him. We’d been in the same place, and I missed him. The instant I read his words I was right back where I had left off at the beginning of the year.
Tears streamed my face, I sobbed so hard my breath kept catching in my throat. I couldn’t hold back the flood of emotion knowing we had been in the same place again.
I knew it had been building since lunch time when I’d seen Mandy. I got it in my head. She’d somehow set this up, so I rummaged frantically in my bag for my cell and rang her. I felt extremely angry.
She sounded sleepy when she answered, clearing her throat when her first attempt at talking was barely a squeak. “Hello?” I immediately went on the offensive at her for telling Alfie my business.
She began shouting back at me. “Hold up, wait! I’ve told him nothing. If he found you, it wasn’t because of anything I said. We don’t fucking talk about you. Not. At. All.”
I wasn’t sure I believed her after the video she sent him. “Seriously, you didn’t tell him where I was?”
Mandy sighed and spoke softly. “I know I fucked up before, but I give him nothing about you, not a word.”
A question that burned from before escaped my lips. “But he asks?” She was silent for a moment.
“You want the truth or you want me to lie to you, Lily?”
I hesitated, of course I did. “Yeah, I want to know.”
I could hear her sigh. “You’re all he wants to talk about.” I swallowed.
“I thought you said you don’t talk about me?”
She snorted, “I don’t, but it doesn’t stop him from talking. So I guess I listen.” I wanted to ask her what he said, but I couldn’t hear it.
One note, a few lines of writing, and all my resolve and hard work to recover from him had vanished. “Sorry, Mandy, I’m really sorry.”
Mandy sounded sympathetic. “Lily, I really do think he cares about you, but I can see how he’s torn you up. Do you want me to tell him something?”
Did I? “Yes… No, sorry, I shouldn’t have called you like this. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I swiped my cell and threw it on the counter.
I sat under the shower until the water ran cold, then collapsed into bed feeling bruised inside. I cried myself to sleep, just like I had every night for months after we split up.
When I woke, Holly was climbing in beside me, she’d read the note, I’d left it on the counter. “He was outside yesterday, Lily. I saw him,” she whispered. “I challenged him. He told me he’d stay away. He just wanted to see you from a distance.” I looked up at her, tears blurring my eyes.
“Did you tell him where I was?” She shook her head. “Honey, I spent months trying to help mend you. I wouldn’t do that now, would I?”
I went through the motions of getting to college; I had only a week of exams before the summer term ended.
Campus held a lot of memories for me that I didn’t want to deal with right now. I had put on some flip flops, my feet were killing after the heels I wore last night. My feet were shredded, and I was already thinking about wearing my wine patent Doc Martens boots for the next gig.
Although, they were nowhere near as sexy, I was confident that I wouldn’t end up with bunions and dead toes from nerve damage after wearing them.
I wasn’t that great at walking fast in flip flops, and I was in a hurry. I walked right out of one as I rushed along. I was meeting up with Will who was in town for an exam.
I ran back to slip my foot inside and when I glanced back up I saw Kara walking across the lawn between the registrar’s office and the staff housing.
I hitched my rucksack on my back and walked as quickly as I could, my guitar banging on my hip as I struggled to get to her before she disappeared. I wanted answers. I was about twenty feet from her when she looked up. She hesitated, then walked faster towards the accommodation.
I followed her and watched as she entered a first floor apartment situated in a corner of a block near the campus boundary. I couldn’t leave it like that. It piqued my curiosity too much not to find out if Alfie’s story was true.
My heart was pounding in my chest when I took the steps up to her apartment. Inside I could hear the radio playing and a small child chatting about watching ‘Strawberry Shortcake’ on TV.
I knocked on the door and everything inside fell silent. It occurred to me that she would be frightened. I called out, “Alfie sent me round.” She still didn’t come to the door.
I called again. “It really is okay, Alfie sent me to see you.” I saw the shutter move slightly and smiled at the window, even though I couldn’t see anything.
Kara came to the door with her cell in her hand. She opened the door, but there was a thick security chain holding it. “If I’d wanted to harm you I’d have done that when you were crossing the lawn on the way here,” I told her genuinely.
Her eyes darted left and right, then she unchained the door and pulled me inside. “What are you doing here? Who are you?” I smiled again, thinking this would be the best way of reassuring her.
“I’m Lily.” She looked at me blankly.
“Sorry, should I know you?” She didn’t know who I was? “Yeah, I was with Alfie.” Again, she looked puzzled, “You were with him? So where is he now?” I realized she had absolutely no idea who I was. “Who is Alfie to you?” She looked perturbed by the question.
“He’s my husband, who are you and what are you doing here?” My heart stopped briefly in that moment, Alfie had been lying to me all along. This really was his wife, and I was standing in his home in front of her.
I felt sick and tried not to cry. I had to get myself out of there fast. “Sorry, I should start again. My name is Lily, Alfie is my voice mentor. I was looking for him to finish my assignment.” She smiled and visibly relaxed.
“Alfie isn’t here, he’s gone to West Palm Beach today, but he’s not available when he comes back. He’s traveling up to Orlando this evening.”
I forced a smile and thanked her and wished to fuck I hadn’t given her my real name, because I had a feeling I had just opened a hornet’s nest, and I was going to get stung.
I said my goodbyes as politely as I could and ran down the steps. I didn’t stop until I was back on the open lawn of the college. I couldn’t breathe.
The nausea I felt was overwhelming. I ran to the corner of a building and threw up. I had to get out of here. I texted Will, I was supposed to be meeting him, and I should have been there by now.
Lily: Please come and find me I don’t feel well, I’m near the Ascot Building.
I took deep breaths, but felt that I was going to pass out at any minute. I thought I had experienced shock before but I knew that I hadn’t until then. Alfie was married, and I’d been played.
CHAPTER 32 – HEY
I lay down on the grass, scared that I was going to faint before Will arrived. My breathing was staccato, and I felt like a ten ton truck had parked on my chest. I couldn’t seem to expand my lungs.
“Jesus, Lily, what the hell happened to you?” Will was kneeling beside me, a concerned look on his face. He stroked my hair and scooped my head up onto his knees, sitting back on his heels.
Tears rolled down my face. “Damn Lily, are you sick. Don’t cry, honey. I can’t stand it when you cry.”
Will stroked my hair, and I didn’t have the strength to tell him what was wrong with me. “I have my saxophone practical in twenty minutes, honey. You’re done for the day now, right?” I nodded. “Okay, I’m going to get a cab and send you home. Is Holly home?”
I nodded again. “Late duties.” I couldn’t even formulate sentences.
Will smiled. “Okay, I’m going to get you home and come to your place as soon as I’m done here. I can be there before Holly leaves for work.” He reached into his cargo pants and pulled out his cell to call me a cab.
Jas, the cab driver, knew me. I was now one of his regulars, and he really looked out for us girls when we went out for the night. He often stayed on shift to make sure we were taken home by someone we knew. In
his mind, we could never be too careful.
Today, he took me home, rang the apartment phone to let Holly know I was downstairs and waited until she came down to help me to the apartment. Not many cab drivers look after their customers like he did.
Holly hugged me and through my sobs I just about managed to convey what had happened with Kara on campus. “What? He’s married?” I nodded.
“She had absolutely no idea who I was. Come to think about it, she never even asked how I knew her name.”
I relayed exactly how the conversation in her apartment went down, and when I was finishing my cell bleeped. I thought it must be Will and swiped it to unlock and read the message. Mandy’s ID flashed.
Mandy: Alfie has asked for your phone number, you changed it, and he has been trying to contact you.
I stared at the cell, like it was going to combust or something and Holly took it out of my hand. I sent a text back.
Lily: No. Please read this to him. Just leave me alone. I was stupid. I don’t want to know anything about you anymore. You are in my past. No notes, no asking my friends, just leave me alone.
Will came over to see me and dragged me out to dinner. He made me forget all the shit for a while. He told me about his band and their antics, and I promised to go and see him when they were playing in town next week. He was coming to see me perform tomorrow night at Blazers.
It was the same night as Mandy was playing with Alfie in Orlando. I was secretly happy for the distraction of Will, and that he’d get to see me play with XrAid.
I went to college the next morning, apprehensive about Kara, but relieved because I knew that Alfie wouldn’t be in town. Mandy had text me to let me know that she was off to Orlando last night.
I was pleased for her, but a little down that I couldn’t offer her the support she had shown me here in Miami when I performed with XrAid for the first time.
Everything She Needs (The Everything Trilogy) Page 24
