Will was very complimentary about the gig. Lennon was a bit off with Will, even after I explained that we used to collaborate together. “Is he going to be an issue for you, Lily?”
I stared Lennon down. His eyes were narrow, defensive. “What do you mean?”
Lennon bunched his brows. “Is he someone who’s going to complicate the working relationship of us band members?”
I wanted to be completely honest with Lennon, they had invested in me, and I wanted to offer him reassurance. I was a single girl and owning my mistakes. “Will? Nah, been there done that, not going backwards,” I said flatly, shaking my head. “He’s a good friend though.”
Lennon grinned and looked relieved. “Good, glad to hear it.” He turned and walked into the dressing room and muttered under his breath, “Lucky bastard.”
The gig went well, and I was now entrenched in the band. Will couldn’t get over the change in me. “I was holding you back, Lily. I can see that now. I knew you were a great guitar player, but you have found your musical identity. These guys are terrific, and you are going to have a fabulous career with them.”
I grinned that he approved of my choices. “Thanks Will, I have you to thank for some things. You took me under your wing when I got here, and I won’t ever forget that.” I smiled affectionately at him.
Will looked at me with regret in his eyes. “Sorry honey, I truly am, I should never have crossed the line. We had a great friendship, and I ruined it.”
I rubbed his arm. “Water under the bridge and all that shit.” I grinned, wanting the whole topic to go away as quickly as he’d brought it up.
I plucked up the courage to ring Mandy. I wanted to support her, although it might hurt me to hear about Alfie and Crakt Soundzz. I didn’t want Mandy to feel that I didn’t care about her big moment.
She told me she was happy with how she performed, and from her description of it, she had the exact same feelings I had when she went out there for the first time.
Her audience was a lot bigger than mine though. She felt how we performed at the club was harder than playing in a stadium, because the performance was more intimate.
She didn’t mention Alfie by name to me. It must have been hard for her to talk to me, because her tone was muted, and given how wired I was after my first gig with the band, I felt sad that she didn’t just go with her feelings with me.
Shawn and Digs came with me to see Will perform with his band the following week. They thought that Will’s sax playing was incredible. Will’s band was also a rock band, but their music sounded way different when Will played with them. It was more contemporary rock than classic, and it made a change to listen to something associated with the music we play, but with a different vibe.
Summer break arrived at last, and my schedule was much more laidback. I spent Holly’s days off with her at the beach or at Brett’s place.
He had a pool, and when he was working, I finally got to concentrate on my all over tan. The rest of the time either Cody and Digs took me out on their boat, or I spent time with Mandy and Neil.
Digs invited me to his family’s home for a cookout, and I felt guilty about my first impression of him. He was a caring, warm human being, and his sister and parents were fabulous.
I also spent a fair amount of time at the clubs, coming into contact with some pretty influential people in the music business.
Louie introduced me to a couple of producers, and they invited me to their studios to record some solo demos, just for the experience. It was awesome, and I learned so much from them that I would be able to use next year at college.
I was feeling good, now that I was finally settled and relaxed. Life here was more than I imagined it could be. I had even been on a couple of dates. It was nothing heavy, just a nice guy named Zack.
Life around Zack seemed so normal in comparison to my musician friends. He worked in an advertising agency. He was uncomplicated, and our relationship was very easygoing. He had a passion for jet-skiing and water sports, and his body reflected his sporting ability.
I wasn’t rushing into anything though. Zack knew about Alfie, and was happy to develop our relationship at my pace. I felt great that he respected me enough to lay off putting any pressure on me. We seemed okay with just taking things easy and limiting our intimate contact to making out for now.
I had fun with Zack. He took me to the beach and tried to teach me to surf. Let’s just say my timing and control was much better when playing music than on a surfboard.
I had been seeing Zack for about a month when he invited Cody, Lennon, and Shawn to the beach with us one afternoon, and we all sat around talking. It was one of those days like the one I’d had with other friends in my apartment, sharing details about our lives that brought us closer.
Cody confessed that he had always wanted to sing in a musical. I stifled a giggle, and Shawn’s eyes bulged. His attraction to Elle made sense now. She danced in a West End Musical, so they had more in common than I originally thought.
Lennon had wanted to work at the Kennedy Space Center since he was a little boy and had been majoring in physics before the band bug got to him. They asked me what I wanted to do as a child. All I ever wanted was to play music. How boring was I?
I left the guys to go and answer the call of nature at the restrooms past the boardwalk. I picked my way through the hot, white sand and scrambled to get to the wooden steps.
The sand was burning my feet and the more I ran, the deeper they seemed to sink into it. I bent to wipe the sand off and put my flip flops on. Then I began to walk towards the red brick restroom building.
I had gone about halfway along the boardwalk when I stopped dead. Alfie was walking towards me carrying a cooler with a group of people. I had nowhere to go. I was halfway to the restrooms and halfway to the beach, and had the wooden railings of the boardwalk on either side of me.
Alfie was looking down, so I crossed to the other side of the boardwalk from where he was walking and turned away, leaning over the railing as if I was looking at something beneath me. I was hoping the crowd he was with would shelter me, and he wouldn’t know I was there.
My heart was beating so strongly, I could feel it in my mouth. I stood leaning over the boardwalk railings, staring down at the sand dune in front of me, praying that he would pass, and I could get just keep getting on with my life.
I couldn’t go back to the beach, but the rest of my things were with the boys. I did have my cell with me though, in its usual place of my bikini top, along with the twenty dollars I kept for emergencies. I had just been about to call Holly to join us as her shift at the hospital was finished.
I turned my head in the direction of the beach after the group passed and dared to look at them beginning to go down the stairs. As they disappeared, I turned my head back and was about to stand straight when somebody slid alongside me. A forearm brushed against mine igniting feelings that I hadn’t felt since we last touched. My heart rate accelerated so much my heart ached from the exertion, and I was covered in goose bumps.
He’d seen me. I couldn’t turn my head to look at him. It felt so painful to have to go there again. I knew if I gazed into his beautiful eyes, he’d know that he still held my heart.
I swallowed hard and pushed myself away from the wooden railing, keeping my head down as I tried to walk past him.
As my body motioned past his, he caught my hand and tugged me against him. His touch was instantly familiar to me. The electricity current cascaded through me, sparking my nerve endings into overdrive. Making me feel excited and heightening my senses.
My face brushed his shoulder. It made me want to sink my head in his neck. His scent engulfed me, and I inhaled deeply, it was an involuntary act.
“Hey,” he cooed. One small word and he had destroyed my defenses all over again, just like that. I jerked my hand away, and pushed past him, my palms felt hot against his strong chest.
“Leave me alone.” I started running for the safety of the rest
rooms.
From in there I would be able to ring Zack to come and get me. An adrenaline rush I had kept me buzzing. The sudden energy from it, making me feel sick. Either that, or it was the shock him touching me again.
I ran into a stall and closed the door. I rested my head against the back of it trying to think. The restroom door burst open hitting the wall. I heard the sound of running footsteps, and Alfie appeared above the stall partition wall. He climbed up and over it, landing inside the toilet cubicle beside me before I could move.
He pinned me to the door. His hands went either side of me, his face only inches from mine. The feeling was also so familiar. He’d done that a few times when he was playing mind games.
It hurt me to look at him. He was so breathtaking, and I immediately ached to touch him, for him to kiss me.
“Why did you run, Lily? I’m not a fucking murderer.” His face was scowling down at me. “Speak to me.” I stood trying to get my thoughts in place. I hated that I still loved him after everything he’d done to me.
“Please just leave me alone.” My voice was barely a whisper, tears rolling down my face.
He stood staring at me and shook his head. “No. I can’t. I don’t want to leave you alone.”
His words made me livid. “You hurt me. You almost destroyed me, hell, you’re still destroying me. You’re a selfish bastard Alfie. Can’t you even think of your wife and child?” He dipped his head and placed his forehead on mine, staring into my eyes. I tried to turn away from him, but his hand grabbed my chin and kept my face in place.
His eyes bore into mine, their color changing from whiskey colored with green flecks to a darker, more dominant green. “I’m not married Lily. I told you, I’m not with her. You know the deal.”
My breathing was shallow and ragged. “No? That’s not what Kara told me. She had no clue I existed. If she isn’t your wife, then why in the hell doesn’t she know anything about me?” I stood there indignant, staring back at him.
“You really don’t know me at all, do you?” he muttered, his mouth coming closer. He brushed my lips with his.
I stiffened at his nearness. “Don’t, don’t touch me.” He smiled slowly, his eyes searching mine. “Sorry, but I’ve waited six months to touch you again. I can’t help myself. I’ve missed you.”
I closed my eyes to shut him out and stood silently. His scent was overwhelming. How could someone feel so right for me physically and wreck me mentally at the same time?
CHAPTER 33 – TRUTHS AND LIES
“I’m not married, Lily. Kara is not my wife. Why don’t you believe me? Why do you find it easier to believe someone you don’t know than me? I’m the one who should be angry.” My eyes widened in surprise.
“Seriously? You think I should believe what you’ve said after everything that’s happened between us? You’re fucking sick in the head, Alfie. I. Don’t. Know. You! I’ve never really known you. Do you know what it’s like to think that someone is everything, only to find out everything is a lie?”
He held me by my shoulders and locked his eyes with mine in a hard stare. “Listen to me. Kara didn’t know about you. She would stick with the plan no matter what. She has Poppy to protect. She didn’t know about you because she would have stopped me from helping her, but she has no one else. There is no way she would have blown her cover at the campus. She told you she was my wife because that’s the story. Her life depends on it.”
He stood staring at me, unblinking, his face so close to mine. He seemed to relax, his eyes closed briefly, and he pulled me into his chest. My face nestled into his neck. His soft, silky skin brushed my cheek. I pulled back slightly, and he looked down at me.
I was breathless. No one else has the effect on my body that he does. He moved his face towards mine, his eyes locking into mine. Slowly, hesitantly, his lips got nearer until they brushed against my mouth.
His kiss was soft and sensual, just the way I remembered him. His tongue began to probe my mouth, teasing my lips apart, and his hands swept through my hair to caress the sides of my face. He wanted to deepen the kiss. “Lily! Are you in there?” I froze. Zack had pushed open the restroom door and was calling for me.
I pushed Alfie back and stared at him for a second. “Yeah, give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be right out.”
Alfie scowled at me. “Who’s that?” I closed my eyes for a second, realizing I had just cheated again, this time because of Alfie.
“It’s Zack, my boyfriend. Sorry, I’ve moved on.”
He smirked at me, “Really? You’ve moved on, yeah, it felt like it.” He snickered sarcastically and touched his lips with his fingers.
I shoved him harder this time, and he almost lost his balance when his legs hit the porcelain toilet. His arms went out, his palms slapping the sides of the cubicle walls to stop him from falling over.
“I’m in a relationship now, my life is good. Don’t come and fuck it up for me again.” He smirked and held my wrists, holding me flush with his body.
He was hard, and I could feel his arousal brushing against my leg. “Yeah, I know you’re in a relationship Lily, I felt it. Poor guy, he just doesn’t stand a chance with me around eh?” My heart was racing, Zack was waiting for me. The last thing I was going to do was let Alfie back in to ruin things now.
“Stop pleading with your eyes, Lily. We both know that it should be us. Not you and him, you and me! Does he make you feel the way I do, Lily?”
I struggled in his grip. “Please Alfie, let me go. He makes me feel better than you make me feel.” Alfie smirked and ran his hands up and over my breasts.
My breath hitched. “So fucking responsive, you don’t feel that with him, do you? Don’t lie.” I took advantage that he was no longer restraining me and pushed him back again. “I. Choose. Him. Alfie. I want to be with him. Please, he’ll find you here,” I pleaded with him to let me go before Zack came back looking for me again.
“I’ll let you go, if you meet me later tonight.” I was due at D’mond, but Alfie wouldn’t know that.
“Okay, fine, whatever, but you need to let me go to him now.” His eyes darted to my bikini top in silent question, and with his thumb and index finger he pulled my cell out and called his number from my phone, so my number registered on his.
His cell began to ring. “Make sure you answer when I text, or I’ll be back to speak to your boyfriend.” He stepped back, and I pulled the stall door open. I ran out of the restroom before he came after me.
Zack was sitting on some benches near the water machine.
“Is everything okay, babe?” I had been in there for almost fifteen minutes.
“Sore stomach, ugh.” I felt terrible lying, but I also needed to get Zack away from there before Alfie came out of the restroom.
I stood up and began walking towards his car. I needed to go home. “Can you just drive me home? I don’t feel great, and we have to play later.”
Zack was worried about me. “Sure, maybe it’s the sun. You might have overdone it today.” My eyes kept darting towards the door, and my heart was racing. I was petrified he was going to open the door, and Zack would ask what we were doing in there together. I wouldn’t be able to say nothing happened with honesty.
Zack called Cody on my phone and told him he would be back. He explained he was taking me home. The guys were concerned that I wouldn’t be able to perform. I told them I would be fine.
The short ride back to the apartment was mostly silent. Zack offered to come up, but I persuaded him to get back to the guys. They had no ride home, because they had taken their gear to the club earlier and left their rides there. Zack had driven them from the club to the beach with me.
A minute after I entered my apartment my cell buzzed.
SEXPERT ID. My heart leapt then sank, the number of times I’d wanted to see him call my cell in the past six months, and it had never happened because I chose to change my number, yet now it filled me with dread.
SEXPERT: I’m downstairs, you come
down or I’m coming up, take your choice, but we need to talk.
He had obviously followed me home. I just wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere else. Holly was due home from work and would go berserk if I was speaking to him. She seriously disliked him after what had happened with him and me.
I didn’t want him in here anyway. I had just begun to move around my apartment without imagining him on my couch, or lying in my bed, or the things we had done there.
I took off my bikini and pulled on some underwear, then pulled on a short skater dress. I slipped my feet into some pumps and ran downstairs, not answering his text.
We’d do whatever this was at his car, then I could get on with my routine of getting to the club. As soon as I saw him my heart fluttered, but ached at the same time.
I’ve never known anyone that could give me feelings so high and so low at the same time. I walked over to his car, but he didn’t get out. “Get in.” I shook my head vigorously.
“Get in I want to show you something. I won’t touch you.” I stared at him for a few seconds before reacting.
“Alfie, why are you doing this? Why after all this time are we doing this again?” Why couldn’t I say no to him? I was angry at how weak I was. I had struggled to overcome the heartbreak and misery I felt about him. My life had begun to have meaning again.
I was beginning to develop feelings for Zack. It wasn’t love yet, but I did care about him, and the way he looked at me, I could see his affection for me.
“You called it off, Lily. Not me, you need to allow me the chance to let me walk away knowing I did everything I could to fight for you.”
“Alfie there’s nothing to say. You know I loved you, still love you. Feelings that strong for someone don’t just disappear.” Alfie cut in on my speech just as I was trying to express how I felt, and why he should leave me alone.
After today I was seriously considering trying to get legal advice about him staying away from me, the thing was though, the beach was a public place, and he had as much right to be there as I did. “Last time, Lily, I promise. This will be the last time we talk, let me try to explain, and if you’re not convinced afterwards you won’t ever see me again.” He half smiled, but he had a wounded look in his eyes.
Everything She Needs (The Everything Trilogy) Page 25
