My Peace (The Beautifully Broken series Book 5)

by Courtney Cole

  “Here,” she thrusts two pills at me. “Take these.”

  “I’m ok,” I tell her, but she’s already shaking her head.

  “Nope. They said to stay in front of the pain. Take them, tough guy.”

  “You think I’m pussy-whipped,” I tell her, as I swallow the pills. “But I’m not. I’m taking these because I want to.”

  She laughs. “Oh, I know. It’s completely your idea.”

  “Just so we’re clear,” I grumble. She laughs again.

  “Your grandfather is coming over tonight to check on you.”

  “Really? I thought he was coming over for dinner next week.”

  She sighs. “Pax, you’re his only grandchild. You were just hit by a car. He’s coming to check on you. Also, your father called to check on you, too. You might want to call him back.”

  “Did you call everyone on the planet?”

  She’s sheepish. “I was worried. There wasn’t much to do in the waiting room other than pace.”

  I kiss her nose, even though the movement is torture. It feels like my ribs are scraping each other, the bones digging into flesh. I ignore it.

  “I love you. I’m sorry you were worried.”

  “I love you so I’ll always worry. It’s my job.”

  She bustles out, and I love watching her go, because my wife has a perfect ass. At the door, she pauses and glances back.

  “I felt you staring.”

  I grin, and she’s gone.

  The pain pills make me sleepy, and so I lay my head back. The next thing I know, Mila is waking me up again. I know time has passed because shadows creep along the walls now.

  “Babe, dinner is in an hour. Do you want to shower?”

  I’m groggy from sleeping during the day. I’m not one for naps.

  “Yeah,” I mumble. “That’ll be good.”

  Mila kisses my cheek, and her lips are warm. “Your grandfather is on his way. I’ve got a new bottle of Glenfiddich for him.”

  I shudder. “Gah. I don’t know why he loves that shit.”

  She shrugs. “Me either. But we have a bottle for him.”

  My ribs feel like they are going to spring from my sternum as I get to my feet, and I imagine them tautly tuned, one by one springing free like overly tightened guitar strings. It makes me cringe, and Mila notices.

  “You ok?”

  “I’m perfect.”

  “Need more pain medicine? I think it’s time.”

  “After I shower.”

  She nods and I hobble down to our bathroom. It’s large and from the door, it seems that the shower is a million miles away. Each step is painful, and with no one watching me, I limp pathetically. My knee is killing me, too. But I’m only a pussy if someone sees.

  I let the hot water pelt my head and back, and the heat relaxes some of the pent-up tension. My bruised up body feels like it is coiled around an iron spool. I won’t be hitting the gym this week, that’s for sure.

  Gingerly, I lather up and rinse off.

  Even more gingerly, I use the towel to dry.

  Lord have mercy, everything hurts. Even my scalp.

  I bend slowly to dry off my feet and as I do, I glance at the wastebasket. I don’t know why. My eye is just drawn to the wicker shell, and the crumpled tissues within.

  There is a white plastic stick lying amid the tissue.

  What the….

  I reach for it, pull it out, and it is a pregnancy test.

  There are two pink lines.

  5

  Chapter Four

  Mila

  The kitchen is warm as I bustle about. The heat makes me a bit dizzy, but I ignore it. The only side effect I get from pregnancy is sensitivity to heat.

  I shove my damp hair back from my brow, and close the oven door with my foot.

  “That’s talent,” William says from the doorway, laughing.

  I glance up, and Pax’s grandfather enters the room, and he seems so out of place in here in his formal suit. It doesn’t matter how casual the occasion, William Alexander always wears a suit and tie, distinguished and formal.

  “Not really,” I tell him, smiling. “It’s a necessity. With Zuzu running around, I’ve got to multi-task.”

  William smiles. “She reminds me of Pax when he was small,” he says. “Except for her blonde hair, of course. She gets that from her mother.”

  “Yes. And my sister,” I acknowledge. “But her energy… that’s all Pax.”

  “Is there anything I can do to help?” William asks, and he leans against the granite. His hand is slender, almost skinny, with blue veins that stand out in the light.

  “No, thank you,” I answer. “I don’t want you to get dirty.”

  He chuckles. “You don’t think I’ve been inside a kitchen before.”

  I pause. “Have you?”

  He chuckles again.

  “A long time ago.” He looks into the distance. “But it’s been years.”

  He seems melancholy somehow, a slight sadness perched on his mouth. William is formal, but he’s always even-keeled, and never shows much emotion. He’s a businessman through and through, with an amazing poker-face that has closed a thousand deals. But tonight, there’s something different. Something almost sad.

  “Well, you can put the rolls into a basket, if you’d like,” I offer, and he actually seems relieved. He moves quickly, using tongs to pick up the browned bits of dough.

  “How’s Pax feeling?” he asks as he counts the rolls and arranges them.

  “He’s in pain,” I answer. “But he’s so lucky. I don’t think he realizes that he could’ve died.”

  The thought almost paralyzes me. The idea that I would have to continue life without my husband. It makes my hands clammy.

  William nods. “That thought crossed my mind when you called. I spent the entire night praying for him.”

  “Praying?” I lift an eyebrow. William hasn’t been religious, not since Pax’s mother was murdered. He always said he felt like a kind and just God wouldn’t have allowed such a thing to happen. He shrugs now.

  “I figured it couldn’t hurt. And look… Pax is fine. So something worked.”

  “Yes, something did,” I agree. Unconsciously, I finger my necklace. Pax had it custom made for me as a wedding gift. It’s inscribed LOVE NEVER FAILS and there hasn’t been a single day that has passed that I haven’t worn it. It matches my mother’s ring on my finger.

  William looks up at me. “When are you due?”

  I’m startled and my head snaps back. He laughs.

  “Mila, you are the only woman I’ve ever met who actually glows during pregnancy. You look radiant, my dear.”

  I shake my head and chuckle a little.

  “I just found out myself,” I tell him. “I haven’t even had a chance to tell Pax yet.”

  William smiles. “Your secret is safe with me. But I’m thrilled. Congratulations. Your little family is a source of great joy for me.”

  My heart warms to bursting. “Thank you.”

  “Hey guys,” Pax greets us as he creeps into the kitchen. He moves slowly, carefully, and I know he’s hurting. He’s trying hard not to show it, but the man was hit by a car. Obviously, he’s in pain.

  Zu trails behind him.

  “Grandpa!” she shrieks, and she launches herself at William. He smiles and hugs her tight, his hand in her curls.

  “Zuzu-Bean,” he murmurs. “Guess what I have for you?”

  “Is it candy?” she asks, her eyes wide.

  He nods. “Like always. But not until after dinner.”

  She nods happily, agreeing. “Thank you, papa.”

  Pax reaches out his arm and snakes it around William’s shoulders, hugging him lightly.

  “Good to see you, old man,” he guffaws. William grins. Pax is the only one on the planet who jokes around with him in such an irreverent way, and William loves every minute of it.

  “It’s good to see you, son,” he answers. “You hanging in there?”

>   “Hell, yeah,” Pax answers. “It takes more than some SUV to take me down.”

  I shake my head and grab the bowl of vegetables. “If you guys can bring the rolls, dinner is ready.”

  William picks up the basket, and everyone follows me to the dining room, a room we rarely use except for when William is here. We normally gather around the kitchen table.

  “Sit at the head,” William instructs Pax. “This is your home.”

  Pax takes his normal seat, but he does tell William, “This is your home, too.”

  William smiles, and again, he seems so sad. Pax and I exchange a look, but we don’t say anything. I’m not sure what to say. Perhaps William is just bothered by the accident and what ‘could’ve been.’ Lord knows, I am.

  We chit-chat over dinner, about small things. Alexander Holdings, Zuzu’s swimming lessons, my photography. Zuzu babbles happily, and William has seconds. He never takes his suit jacket off, but then again, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him without it.

  After dinner, he helps me clean up while Pax takes Zu upstairs.

  He dries a couple of pots, then turns to me.

  “Thank you for making my grandson so happy, young lady.”

  I’m startled by this, and I smile. “It’s my pleasure. Really.”

  “The way you stuck by him when he was… well, let’s just say when he was less than pleasant.”

  I have to laugh at that. When Pax’s memories of what he had endured that night with his mother when she was murdered had re-emerged a few years ago, he has certainly been “less than pleasant.” He had disappeared into a dark abyss and I never thought he’d come out.

  But he did.

  “Love never fails,” I tell William simply. “Pax taught me that.”

  “I wish I’d been there for him,” his grandfather says seriously, and now I see the source of his sadness. “All of those years.”

  “You and Paul had issues about Susanna. Pax knows that. We’re both just glad that things are resolved now, and that everything is good,” I assure him. “Pax loves you, William. Very much.”

  He nods. “And I love him. He’s really doing amazing things at Alexander Holdings. And he’s a wonderful father.”

  “I agree,” I tell him. “He’s turned out very well. You should be very proud.”

  “Oh, I am,” he assures me. “I am.”

  He hugs me, and Pax hasn’t come back downstairs yet.

  “It’s possible that he fell asleep while he was reading to Zu,” I tell him. “He does that sometimes.”

  “It’s ok. Just please thank him for me, for this evening. I’m tired, and I hear my bed calling to me.”

  I smile and he’s gone.

  I hear the front doors close, and I see the brake-lights on his car disappear into the night.

  I put him out of my mind as I turn off the lights, and turn on the alarm, making my way upstairs. I wake Pax, who had indeed fallen asleep in Zu’s pink room. He climbs into bed with me, and we snuggle together for sleep.

  I want to tell him that we’re having another baby.

  I’m dying to tell him.

  But now is not the time. It’s late, and we’re tired. He’s asleep within minutes, and I’m left trying to think of a really cool way to tell him. Maybe Zuzu can make him a cute video? Or I can have a custom shirt printed?

  I’m still brainstorming ideas when the phone rings an hour later.

  I grab at it, because it’s late, and who is calling?

  “Hello?” I say softly, eying Pax. It didn’t wake him.

  “Hello, Mrs. Tate?” It’s an unfamiliar voice, although something about it seems like I’ve heard it before. “This is Natasha, Mr. Alexander’s housekeeper.”

  This snaps me to attention. She’s never called me before.

  “Yes?”

  “I’m so sorry to tell you… Mr. Alexander suffered a massive heart attack tonight. He’s gone. I’m so sorry.”

  I’m stunned, and words won’t come out, and when they do, they feel like wood.

  “Gone?” My fingers are numb.

  “Yes. He died immediately. It was very quick. Is Mr. Tate with you?”

  “Of course. He’s…” I look over. Pax’s eyes are open now, wide and hazel. He stares at me, waiting. “He’s right here. I’ll tell him. We’ll be right there.”

  I hang up and Pax is waiting for me to explain, and tears well up in my eyes.

  He reaches for me, and he knows something terrible has happened.

  “It’s your grandfather…”

  The words tumble out, and he sucks in a breath, but he doesn’t react.

  Instead, he holds me tight, strong for me, and strokes my hair.

  “It’s ok,” he murmurs. “It’s ok.”

  6

  Chapter Five

  Pax

  Reality stands still as my grandfather is lowered into the ground, his mahogany casket gleaming in the dying evening light.

  His grave is right next to my mother’s, next to her marble weeping angel and the headstone that reads She walked in beauty, she sleeps in peace.

  My father looks up. “He’s with your mother now. He’s at peace.” His voice is gruff.

  I nod and Mila squeezes my fingers.

  It’s a gray, rainy day, and it is fitting for this funeral.

  Well-wishers shake my head, and hug Mila, and it seems like hours pass before the three of us are finally alone.

  “I have your grandfather’s will,” my father says as we climb into the family car.

  I’m startled by that, and just as startled that he would bring it up now. I wince as I click my seat-belt. The pain is still bad. After a week, I would’ve thought it would fade. It hasn’t. In fact, the pain in my knee has gotten worse.

  “I know. It’s not what you want to hear today,” my father adds, and the driver closes the door.

  “Not really,” I admit. “But why do you have the will?”

  My father is an attorney, but not my grandfather’s attorney.

  “He wanted me to handle this,” my dad shrugs. “Pax… William knew for some time that the end was close. He had major blockages in his heart, and they were inoperable. He wanted me to tell you directly after the funeral about the terms of his will. He wanted you to have time to think about it.”

  He has my attention, and I wait for him to continue.

  “Go on.”

  “I think it goes without saying that you get everything. He’s got some trusts set up for charitable donations, but pretty much everything comes to you. With a couple stipulations.”

  “What are they?” Mila asks and her eyes are red. The past couple of days haven’t been easy. She was close to William. She loved him, and he loved her. We were all he had, and she knew that. She did everything she could to make him feel included and loved.

  My father clears his throat.

  “You must live in his home for at least five years, and even if you choose not to continue living in it at that time, you must keep it in the family.”

  “Wow.” That’s all I can think of to say, because I don’t want to live in my grandfather’s home. It’s too big, too sterile. Almost like a museum. But it’s where my mother grew up, and because of that, my grandfather has never sold it. It’s a beautiful estate, but it’s just not home.

  “And you must keep his key staff onboard for at least five years.”

  “Who does he consider key?” I can’t help but ask, even though I’m ready to stop discussing my grandfather’s affairs so soon after his burial.

  “His housekeeper, Natasha. His chief business advisor, Peter. And of course, Roger.”

  “Five years?” Mila asks, her eyes serious. “But what if they do something egregious? Can he terminate them then?”

  Dad nods. “Yeah. There’s a list of terms outlined, complete with things that would be considered acceptable. They’re a good staff though. He just wants to make sure they’re taken care of, and have enough time to move on if they wish.”

&nb
sp; I nod. My grandfather has always been good to his employees.

  “I’m sorry to bring this up right now, son,” my father adds. “Truly. It was just William’s wishes that you were told immediately. The size of the estate alone is staggering. You’ll need to think about this.”

  I don’t ask, and he waits, and then he sighs.

  “It’s worth three billion dollars, Pax.”

  “Holy cats,” Mila sucks in her breath. “Billion with a B?”

  My father nods, and I’m not surprised. My grandfather was a wizard at business.

  “Ok,” I say simply. “We’ll discuss it. Do I have a time-limit to adhere to?”

  Dad nods. “Yeah. He’s given you thirty days to decide. If you decide to reject it, everything will go into a trust for Zuzu.”

  “So Zuzu would get saddled with those same terms?” I ask wryly. “I wouldn’t do that.”

  “I know.”

  My dad stares out the window and after barren trees pass and rainy skies, he turns back to me. “Your grandfather was a good man.”

  “I know.”

  And he was. He was formal, and sometimes stern. He was dignified, but loving in his own way. Even now, he’s trying to look out for me in the best ways he knows how. In trying to dictate the terms, he was trying to give himself peace of mind that I will continue making good decisions, and continue being successful in life.

  I love him too much to fault him for that.

  When we reach my home, my father climbs out of the car first, and then helps me out. His eagle eyes don’t miss the fact that I’m moving slow, or that I flinch when the muscles in my back contract, and my knee gives a little with every step I take.

  “Maybe you should go back and see your doctor?” he suggests as we head inside.

  “Maybe,” I acquiesce, and both he and Mila do a double-take.

  “It must be bad,” my wife decides. “I’ll make an appointment for you for tomorrow.”

  I nod, and Zuzu runs into the room with Chelcie close on her heels.

  “Daddy,” she shrieks, and Mila catches her before she plows into me.