Secret Admirer

by Ally Hayes

  At the office, our receptionist, Kathy, was on a stepstool removing football decorations and replacing them with paper heart cut-outs and gel glass clings featuring Cupid and kissy-lips. I almost growled. I wanted to ask if the tacky embellishments were really necessary for the entrance to an accounting firm, but I didn’t wanted to be labeled the grouchy single girl who clearly had no Valentine of her own. I kept quiet but remained crabby the whole day.

  Connor wasn’t at the coffee shop again on Tuesday. I took his absence as a sign to text Garrett as I sorted my afternoon candy hearts.

  I Hope. Let’s Kiss. Love. Bling. Miss You.

  I thought the last message could work to describe my mood, but how could I miss someone I never met? Or did my disappointment possibly mean I missed seeing Connor? Confused, I reached in for one more and found what I hoped to see. Secret Admirer. I felt my shoulders relax. One little sugary heart was all the necessary fuel I needed to reach out to Garrett.

  Me—how’s 30 treating you?

  He didn’t reply for an hour. During that anxious stretch of time, I ate roughly twenty-seven candy hearts but saved the green Secret Admirer, adding it to my ever-growing stash.

  Garrett—sorry, was driving, had to rent a car to get back and it was my turn to drive

  Me—no apologies, hands on the wheel?

  Garrett—I’m in backseat now. We’ll be in CT by tonight hopefully

  Me—safe travels

  Garrett—free this weekend?

  Me—my turn to go out of town

  Garrett—we have to pick a date, asap

  Me—date?

  Garrett—yes?

  Me—yes

  Garrett—we’ll arrange it when I get back

  Me—:)

  ****

  I fooled myself early on Wednesday morning into believing the stupid snooze button was a good idea. I was getting nowhere with Connor anyway. Yet, when I arrived at work, I felt no more rested than if I’d gotten right up, and wasted the morning wondering if he was there and looking for me. At ten in the morning, I succumbed to my first candy heart of the day—a sure sign of addiction. I crunched Love Ya, Smile, and Be Mine while crunching numbers.

  At lunch, I told Bree and Clare, who I’d asked to come along, about the plans for my upcoming weekend back home. “I’ve been gone a month now. I promised my mom a visit at this point. I’m sure she’s been cooking all week to send back a freezer full.”

  “That’s sweet,” Clare said.

  Bree didn’t reply, but she placed her plastic utensils down and clasped her hands, shaking excitedly. “I’m on a mission,” she began. “I’ve got just one more week to convince Alec now is the time to get engaged.”

  “Won’t he know when the time is right?” asked Clare.

  “Guys need help,” Bree snapped.

  “I wouldn’t give him an ultimatum,” Clare muttered quietly. She reached for her bottled water.

  “Please don’t tell me you want him to propose next Friday,” I said.

  “Why not?”

  She sounded defensive and gave me a glare. I’d struck a nerve and should back off, but I needed to explain. “Valentine’s Day is such a silly holiday, and proposing would be so cliché. Don’t get me wrong, I’d be happy for you, but I don’t think you’re thinking the whole scenario through.”

  “Andi might be right, think about it some more. You know he’ll ask, so why force him?” Clare asked.

  “I’m sick of thinking about it and of everyone telling me to be patient. Maybe you two need to make plans of your own for Valentine’s Day.”

  We ate our salads in silence after seeing Bree’s snippy side. I didn’t know whether or not to change the subject. Clare was no help since she kept her head down, avoiding any eye contact that might give me a clue. I remained silent and the quiet gave me an idea. I texted Garrett back at my desk after striking a deal with myself. If I saw him answer in a certain way, I would ask him out.

  Me—back safe and sound?

  Garrett—and exhausted

  Me—I won’t keep u, just have to ask u something

  Garrett—anything

  Me—this may seem weird, but what name do u have as my contact

  Garrett—Andressa

  Me—ok

  Garrett—that’s it?

  Me—Yup. Rest up, u said u were exhausted. Good thing I’m away this weekend

  I planned to leave the conversation there and come up with an idea for a date before contacting him again, but he kept the chat going. I got sucked in.

  Garrett—think I can’t handle U?

  Me—U’ll need all ur energy

  Garrett—if that’s a challenge name the time and place

  Me—next Friday, I don’t know any places yet

  Garrett—there’s a new wine bar, never been on corner of Elm

  Me—done

  Garrett—you know that’s Valentine’s Day

  Me—then we’ll have plenty of people to make fun of

  Garrett—so, a first date on Valentine’s Day to be ironic?

  Me—why not?

  Garrett—I like it

  Me—how will I know you?

  Garrett—I’ll get there before 7 and tell hostess, you give her your name—not nickname—and she’ll send you to me

  Me—should be interesting

  Garrett—☺

  Technically, I only facilitated the asking, but I still felt successful. Concentrating on work the rest of the day proved challenging as excitement and nervousness took turns controlling me and my thoughts.

  To confuse matters further, I spoke to Connor on Thursday. We had an actual conversation, and I fell even more in lust with his upbeat demeanor and dreamy eyes. So what if we talked about the weather? Weather is an important part of our lives. The temperature was unseasonably warm, and everyone was talking about it. I still hadn’t introduced myself. I could discuss warm fronts but not say my name. Later, I wondered if I held back subconsciously because of my plans with Garrett. Friday was cold again, so we discussed that current meteorological development.

  Bree said we sounded like two old men in the park and if I didn’t step up the topics, I’d be alone on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t dare tell her about my date with Garrett. I really wanted to tell Clare, and almost did, but worried the information would get back to Bree. Instead, I told her I hoped her plans with long-distance boy worked out the way she wanted.

  My weekend home was fun and relaxing. Mom treated me like I was six years old, and I let her. She took me for a haircut, bought me lunch, and even a new sweater. She missed me, and I liked being missed. My brother was married, and she did the grandmother thing with his twins, but I was her only daughter. The whole family came to our house for dinner on Saturday night, and I loved seeing everyone. Hartford was far enough to have the space I needed to live my life, but not too far from my family.

  After debating all weekend, I broke down and told my mother about Garrett over breakfast on Sunday.

  “I don’t like you only knowing him on-line.”

  “It’s not really like that, Mom. He’s part of my new group of friends. We talk, just in a different way.” Explaining texting to her would take longer than the hour I had left at home.

  “You be safe, I worry about you all alone out there.” She waved her hands in the air. I laughed at her indicating Connecticut was off in outer space. I patted her hand. “I don’t feel alone in Hartford. I have friends, and now a date, plus a guy I drool over each morning.”

  “Huh?”

  “There’s this cute guy I see at a coffee shop every morning, we talk a bit, but nothing ever happens.”

  She hugged me for the tenth time that morning as I packed and offered her mom-mantra. “What’s meant to be will be.” She loaded my car with containers of food and a care package I could only open when I got to my apartment. The basket contained cookies, my favorite tea, perfume, and a giant bag of candy hearts. A Valentine from my mother. She had signed my dad’s name too, but
I’m sure he knew nothing about the gift. Dad showed his love by servicing my car and passing on two hardcover crime books he’d recently finished.

  Once in the apartment, I did feel a bit lonely for the first time. I filled the time washing laundry. I finished folding late and was surprised to find a missed message on my phone as I prepared for bed.

  Garrett—hope you made it back safely, no need to reply, but wanted to lyk I’m thinking of you, Andressa.

  I truly felt lonely no more.

  Chapter Eight

  “You’re smiling.”

  Connor hadn’t been in line when I arrived, but he was now suddenly beside me at the service station.

  I’d been in a great mood since Garrett’s text the night before. Now, I felt oddly guilty for having been caught by Connor thinking about Garrett. “I guess I am.” I realized my smile was even wider now that I had his attention.

  “You have a nice smile, I hope it lasts all day.” He walked over to the counter to order his coffee.

  I was too dumbstruck to speak so I left. With my coffee, complete with lid, in hand, I no longer had any reason to stay there.

  Our timing wasn’t quite right on Tuesday. He was leaving as I walked in, but he did the cup salute thing so at least he acknowledged me. Part of me wanted to let go of this sliver of hope I got whenever I saw him, but another part of me worried about things working out with Garrett. I never let on that I knew his name and believed I should keep it that way until after my date with Garrett.

  When my handful of hearts included not one, but two Secret Admirers in one afternoon, I took a page from Garrett’s book and texted a little tease.

  Me—Friday can’t come fast enough

  He didn’t reply, but I didn’t expect him to this time. We were playing a game of sorts. He sent one in the middle of the night.

  Garrett—sweet dreams

  I waited until morning to reply.

  Me—don’t u wish you knew what I was dreaming

  I hit send and got in my car sporting a goofy grin of self-satisfaction.

  Connor was at the service station, but his phone pinged from his pocket and he grabbed it right away. A smirk took over his face as he looked at the screen.

  A pang of unjustified jealousy ran through me. Any silly comments I could make couldn’t compete. I said a quick goodbye and left, eager to get to work and make Wednesday fly by. As I was getting in my car, I heard a ping of my own.

  Garrett—I know WHO I wish you were dreaming about

  I laughed out loud in the silence of the car and my mood instantly improved. I turned up the radio when a familiar pop song began and actually sang along. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done that. My good mood must have been visible as the receptionist asked what I was “so chipper” about.

  “I hear you’re the cheerful one this morning. Care to share?” Bree grilled.

  “Just some shameless flirting,” I answered.

  “Good for you.”

  “Trying my best,” I said with a wide grin. This was true, but I gave her the false impression I was referring to Connor, not Garrett. I wasn’t about to set her straight. I would have to answer soon enough though when the weekend texts began.

  Bree—Friday’s the big day, who’s got plans?

  Maggie—let me guess, u do Bree?

  Bree—I don’t know, do I, Alec?

  Alec—it’s a surprise

  Josh—gagged on my latte

  Abbie—going to an anti-Valentine’s Day party. All are welcome, anyone care to join?

  Ethan—kidnapping Maggie from the library for dinner

  Josh—wasn’t planning on leaving my apartment, but maybe…

  Clare—we’ll see if you-know-who shows up

  Abbie—Andi? Garrett?

  Oh no. How should I respond? Should I wait for Garrett to reply? So far, the truth was working so I gave a vague, but honest, answer.

  Me—I have plans

  Bree—?????

  Me—yes, Bree

  Garrett—sorry so late to chime in. May have to go out of town, if not I’ll let you know, Abbie. Thx for offer

  Abbie—so glad I can accommodate the love-less

  Bree—Abbie! The party sounds like fun.

  Alec—we’ll stop by after dinner.

  Maggie—if it’s not too late Ethan and I will too

  Abbie—thx guys!

  I knew Garrett would text once the group was done. Nine nervous minutes later, I was relieved when he replied lightheartedly.

  Garrett—think we fooled them

  Me—yes! Sorry you had to be the one to lie

  Garrett—you owe me, jk

  Me—I’ll make it up to you

  Garrett—can’t wait to see how

  Me—☺get back to work

  Garrett—☺

  Also as expected, Bree insisted on lunch together to hear all about my plans. I wondered if I could still manage to not lie, but merely deceive her.

  As we walked through the courtyard without gloves and scarves for the first time since we’d met, she asked, “So, how’d it happen?”

  I kept my gaze straight ahead as we walked to avoid giving myself away with any facial expressions. “I don’t know, it just did.”

  She lightly punched my shoulder. “I told you it would. I’m so happy for you.”

  “Well, I don’t really know him, so we’ll see how the night goes.”

  “I have a good feeling you two were meant to be.”

  “Thanks. Now, what’s the latest with you and Alec?”

  Her face lit up. “Everything has been great lately, and I have you and Clare to thank. I haven’t said the words proposal, engagement, or even wedding since our talk.”

  We entered the restaurant and picked up our trays, and we each took a different side of the salad bar. “Not one word?” I asked.

  “Nope. I thought I would’ve cracked by now, but refraining is getting easier. We’re so happy just, I don’t know—being in the moment, I guess.” She shrugged, but smiled.

  “That’s awesome. I think that’s the way good relationships are supposed to feel.”

  “Yeah. You guys were right.”

  I met her at the cash register and lightly bumped my elbow to hers. We walked together to our usual table and talked office gossip for the rest of the lunch break. I was glad for the levity.

  Feeling hopeful and lucky, I dumped the entire contents of a candy hearts box on my desk back in my office after lunch. I got a few Kiss Me’s and even one Meet Me, which I found inspirational, but the rest were the new sayings like BFF, So Fine, and #Love. None were Secret Admirer.

  As soon as the workday was over, I went straight to the grocery store, mainly because I was out of cereal and soy milk, but also because I had an experiment to perform. I placed two bags of the extra-large hearts and two boxes of the tiny hearts in my cart, along with my breakfast staples and headed home to put my theory to the test.

  While I microwaved a container of Mom’s pasta primavera, I placed two of my plain white dinner plates on my combination kitchen/dining room table. I poured half the bag of the extra-large hearts on one, and the box of tiny hearts on the other.

  Sure enough, the bigger hearts had longer sayings as they could accommodate the extra letters. The tiny hearts bore quips such as Cutie and Luv Bug. No wonder I hadn’t had a Secret Admirer pop up recently. Now I had twelve in various colors, as well as hundreds of others. Even with my new addiction, there were too many for me. I’d have to think of something to do with them.

  The internet was a wealth of ideas for the candy hearts. I could make collages, bouquets, create games, or even decorate my Valentine’s card with them. The possibilities were pretty hilarious, but inspired me to take action. I arranged three candy hearts on my counter and snapped individual photos of each with my phone. I texted the first to Garrett.

  Me—What’s up?(the yellow candy read)

  He replied an hour later, around eight o’clock.

  Garret
t—Ha! Not much, met guys for wings and watch hockey game

  Since I had his attention, I continued.

  Me—C U Soon (purple)

  Garrett—LOL, I don’t have any, can’t play along 

  Me—I Hope (yellow)

  Garrett—hope what?

  Me—Smile and Secret Admirer (blue and pink)

  Garrett—☺

  Assuming I was done using my phone for the night, I connected it to the charger on my nightstand. But Garrett must have gone out to the store. Around ten when I was ready to read and give in to sleep, a series of photos popped up, in rapid succession, so I had no time to chime in, which I assumed was his intent.

  I Hope

  You & Me

  Flirt

  4-eva

  So cool

  ☺

  He’d even found a candy heart with the smiley face that had become our sign off. I could tell he was using the tiny hearts. Little did he know, I had every variety so I had the advantage. I let him have the last say for the night and drifted off happily, looking forward to Friday night.

  On Thursday morning, Connor was in the coffee shop before me whistling happily. He sounded as upbeat as I felt. I woke up in a great mood, remembering my exchange with Garrett and had been thinking up my rebuttal ever since. If I knew how to whistle, I would’ve been too.

  “Sorry, I forget that can be annoying,” he said when I was caught staring.

  I now had his full attention and couldn’t look away. “No, no. I was just wishing I could whistle too, or be as happy as you are in the morning.”

  “You always seem happy.”

  I blushed, though I wanted to keep talking. “Really? Huh.”

  “Well, I hope whoever is responsible appreciates you.” He gave his now-customary coffee cup salute goodbye and left me wondering if, and hoping Garrett would turn out to be as nice a guy as Connor seemed. I’ll admit I hoped he was as cute too.

  At the office, I arranged four large hearts to create a cryptic sentence.

  Thank U

  Sweet Talk

  No Doubt

  Good 4 Me

  I didn’t have time to check for his response since I had a client call scheduled for nine sharp which lasted almost an hour. At ten, I hurried to finish an assessment for a lunch meeting in the conference room. I was glad to be busy. Work kept me focused, and I didn’t mind the day going by quickly.