Come into my Parlour

by Dennis Wheatley

  Actually Gregory had met Sir Pellinore long before he had started to write articles on international affairs. Twenty-five summers ago, as a very young subaltern, he had carried Sir Pellinore’s only son back out of the hell of Thiepval Wood, in the great Somme battle. The young man had died of his wounds, but the episode had created a strong tie between his father and his rescuer which had strengthened with the passing years until Sir Pellinore had come to regard Gregory with almost as much affection as he had had for the son that he had lost.

  As Gregory began to renew his thanks the elderly Baronet cut him short and said:

  “That’s settled then. Now I’ll tell you why I lugged you up from Shropshire. I want to hear how you think the war is shaping.”

  “Oh, come!” Gregory laughed. “It’s you who are talking nonsense now. For the best part of a month I’ve been buried in the country, whereas you’ve been right in the middle of things. Generals, Admirals, Air Marshals, Ambassadors on leave and Cabinet Ministers are always dropping in to give you the low-down, so you must know how things are going infinitely better than I do.”

  “No, no. It’s true that a few old cronies of mine look in now and again to talk over the stuff the papers have printed that morning. They never ask my advice, mind you. And they’re right. They know that I’ve got no brains. I’ve an eye for a horse and a pretty woman, but I never had any brains at all.”

  “I know,” said Gregory, his dark eyes twinkling. “It’s just that you’re a good listener and they like to pour out their little worries to you, isn’t it? I’ve heard that one before.”

  “Drat the boy!” Sir Pellinore grumbled. “Impudent as ever. Well, perhaps they sometimes do tell me a thing or two, because they know I’m safe. But what I know is no damn business of yours. Trouble is, though, that none of us here can see the wood for the trees. Our minds are so bunged up with detail that we’re incapable of making a sound assessment of the big picture. You’re outside it all and you’re a pretty shrewd young rascal. That’s why I want to know how things look to you.”

  “Right then.” Gregory sat back and lit a Sullivan. “Let’s take the good side first. The great thing is that we’re no longer alone. The Russians are now in this thing with us.”

  “Yes, and whether we like the Bolshies or not, Winston was one hundred per cent right to declare that any enemy of Hitler’s is a friend of ours. Still, they haven’t shown up any too well—so far. Ever since the show started the Nazis have been pushing them back on every front.”

  “Nevertheless, they must be killing quite a lot of Germans; and if the main German armies had not gone into Russia this summer they wouldn’t be sitting on their bottoms. They’d be on their way through Turkey to the Persian oilfields by now, or perhaps even knocking hell out of Kent and Sussex.’

  “That’s true. We were in pretty low water this spring, after our withdrawal from Greece and Crete. At all events this Russian business has given us a badly needed breather.”

  “That’s just the point I’m making. If we hadn’t gone into Greece Wavell could have used those troops when he had the Italians on the run to go right through to Algeria and join up with the French. They were game to come in with us then and by this time the whole of North Africa would have been in our hands. But in that crazy Greek adventure we threw away the only decent Army that we had, and it’s going to take months yet to build it up again. In the meantime, Russia is saving us from the worst results of our folly and enabling us to conserve our forces till we’re strong enough to strike again next spring.”

  “Yes. If the Russians can stick the pace. Well, what else?”

  “The other bull point is the way that the R.A.F. is being built up. It’s impossible to say yet if Germany can be knocked out by air power alone, but the pasting that the German cities are getting now must be having a pretty serious effect on their war industries. Anyhow, one thing I do know. The British Army alone will never be able to defeat the main German armies on the continent of Europe. It’s not a question of courage or efficiency or even weapons; it’s simply that we haven’t got the man-power.”

  “How about if the United States came in with us?”

  “Ah, that would alter the whole picture. Together we might do the trick. But will she? that’s the question? This Lease-Lend she is giving us now will be immensely valuable when it gets into full swing, but she may consider that is going far enough. After all, the Prime Minister did say, ‘Give us the tools and we will finish the job’, didn’t he? And even if America came in tomorrow, it would take her at least two years to raise, train, equip and transport to Britain an army big enough to ensure our joint success in invading and conquering Hitler’s Empire. On the other hand, the Ruskies are in with us already, and there are best part of two hundred million of them.”

  “Yes. They’ve got the man-power all right, but the problem there is, how much of it can they actually put into the field? Can’t fight wars with scythes and pitchforks these days, you know. Still, saying they were equipped with plenty of tanks and all this modern paraphernalia, what were you driving at?”

  “Simply that, if I were the War Cabinet, I should use every means in my power to encourage the Russians to keep the German Army busy, while I switched four-fifths of the resources of the Empire over to creating the mightiest Air Armada that has ever been dreamed of. We’ve already seen what the R.A.F. can do on a wartime increase proportionate to the other two Services. I believe that if its further expansion was given absolute priority over everything else we’d knock such blue hell out of the Fatherland that we’d have the war over in another two years.”

  “That’s what the airmen say themselves,” nodded Sir Pellinore. “But there’s not a hope of it. The other Services wouldn’t stand for that—and they may be right, you know. The Germans are reported to have reached Smolensk already. That’s half-way to Moscow. Russia’s strategy has always been to give ground but there’s a limit to the amount she can afford to sacrifice. Every city that goes into the German bag means fewer munitions for Stalin’s armies; every acre lost means less food for the Russian people. If the Nazis push on at this rate the Bolshies may be compelled to pack up by the autumn. Then we’d have the German Army on our hands again, and with the resources of all Europe to draw on no amount of bombs on Germany would put it out of business for good.”

  “The Russians have just signed this agreement with us not to conclude a separate peace,” hazarded Gregory.

  “Ah, but will they stick to it if they find they’re getting an honest-to-God licking, eh? That’s the rub. I wouldn’t trust most of those fellers with an old top-hat. Talk about a thieves’ kitchen. Why, even the dossiers of the big-shot Nazis are no worse than the records of most of those Kremlinites. Mind you, I think Stalin is in a class apart. He is about as unscrupulous as you are, which is saying something; but at least he’s a clear thinker. As a matter of fact, I’ve always had a sneaking admiration for old Uncle Joe, and I’m certain he has the sense to know that it’s either Corporal Charlie Chaplin or himself for the high jump this time.”

  “If you’re right he’ll fight to the last ditch, then?”

  “Yes. But where is the last ditch? That’s what I’d like to know. There’s another thing. For several years now Stalin’s health has been reported as not too good. Heart trouble, so they say. Of course that may just be a Kremlin rumour put out on purpose. Why, God knows, but they’re a funny lot, and always pushing out stuff that doesn’t make sense to anyone except themselves. Say it’s correct, though, and he konks out on us. There are still certain pro-German elements in Moscow. They might get control. Then we’d be in a pretty mess. But I’m butting in on your appreciation. Go ahead?”

  “Well, to finish up on the credit side, there’s the Italian collapse in Abyssinia and General Dentz’s surrender in Syria. Two more great triumphs for Wavell before his transfer to India, and two expensive running sores stopped, which enormously consolidates our position in the Middle East.”

  “Umph!
” grunted Sir Pellinore. “Only hope the Auk does half as well there. Winston thinks a lot of him, but time will show. What next?”

  “On the debit side, owing to the wastage of our resources in Greece and Crete, I shouldn’t think we can possibly launch another offensive against Libya until next spring, and unless we have a crack at Norway there doesn’t seem to be anything that the Army can do at all.”

  “They might; but once bitten, you know.”

  “The Navy is stretched to the limit as it is, yet the U-boat menace is on the increase and conditions in Britain are worsening every month. Things aren’t too good in India, and the Japs are getting more uppish every day. We’ve lost the Eastern Balkans, as well as Greece, and Antonescu’s coup d’état in Rumania has secured to Hitler his main supplies of oil. Our going into Syria may have been necessary but it has turned a great part of the French against us, so all the prospects that we had earlier in the year of the French Armies in North Africa declaring for us have now disappeared. By and large, it’s not a pretty picture. Our commitments are enormous and our resources lamentably few. The Royal Air Force is the only weapon we’ve got with which we shall be able really to strike at Germany for a long time to come; so, as far as I can see, it’s a pretty hopeless job to attempt to plan our future strategy until we know the real value of Russia as an ally, and get some idea as to how long she will be able to keep the main German armies occupied.”

  “Excellent, my boy! First-class appreciation.” Sir Pellinore swallowed the remainder of his champagne and set the tankard down with a bang. “Well. That’s why I want you to go to Russia for us and find out.”

  Chapter IV

  The Mission

  Gregory’S face broke into a slightly twisted smile. “I knew damn well you hadn’t lugged me all the way up from Shropshire to ask my opinion of the war.”

  “Glad I did though. Couldn’t have worked out better.” Sir Pellinore gave a loud guffaw. “Every point you made brought us back to the Bolshies and the question of how long they’ll be able to stay the course. Saved me the trouble of having to convince you how important it is that we should get something straight from the stable about their form.”

  “Still working on your old principle of never doing anything yourself if you can get the other chap to do it for you, eh?”

  “That’s it. Only exception to the rule is drawing corks out of old bottles. Servants don’t understand how to handle good liquor these days, and if the cork’s gone powdery they let it get into the wine. But how about it? Are you prepared to play?”

  The slightly stooping shoulders that were concealed under Gregory’s well-cut lounge suit lifted in a little shrug. “As the only alternative now left to men of my age is a job in a factory, or a seat in an office, with Home Guard in the evenings and Fire-watching at night, I suppose I’ll have to.”

  “Cynical young devil! You’re right, though. It’s the middle-aged civilians who’re getting the rough deal in this war. The fellers in the Services are better fed, better clothed, get more sleep and have most of the pretty girls with them to tumble around into the bargain. But, joking apart, I felt sure I could count on you, and I’m very grateful. When can you leave?”

  “That’s for you to say; but I’d like a few more days with Erika, and I imagine it will take you that to make arrangements for my trip?”

  “All right. Today’s Thursday. Get back in time to dine with me here on Monday night and I’ll have everything ready.”

  “How do I go? Do I have to risk my neck again by dropping with a parachute, or do you want me to sneak over the frontier disguised as an organ-grinder?”

  “Gad, no! You go straight in by the front door under your own name with a perfectly good British passport. No need for any heroics this time. The Russians are now our allies.”

  “Yes. That had occurred to me. Also the fact that sending someone to ferret out the military secrets of an Allied Power is, to say the least of it, a bit unorthodox.”

  “What’s that!” Sir Pellinore drew up his long legs with a jerk. “When I need any lessons in ethics I’ll ask for them, you insolent young cub.”

  “I should think the Foreign Office would throw a fit,” smiled Gregory, quite unperturbed.

  “Oh, the Foreign Office knows when to mind its own business. Don’t you worry about that. But you’re right, of course, that they wouldn’t dare to monkey with a thing like this. That’s why we can’t ask you-know-who to handle the job. If one of his people were caught at it there’d be no end of a rumpus.”

  “Quite apart from what may happen to me, if I’m pinched by the Ogpu there may be quite a spot of bother this end, as I’m to go in on a British passport.”

  “I realise that, but the Bolshie counter-espionage system is far too good to chance sending you in any other way. If you are caught, at least they can’t check back on you and link you up with our own organisation. I had in mind that you should go as a journalist with a notional job under our Press Attaché. No good journalist can resist poking his nose in where he’s not wanted, so if you do get in a mess we ought to be able to laugh you off on that score.”

  “That sounds all right. What exactly do you want me to find out?”

  “Three things. What proportion of their man-power the Russians can actually put into the field. How much territory they can afford to give away before they would be compelled to throw up the sponge. And the real state of Stalin’s health.”

  Gregory made a grimace and the scar above his left eyebrow suddenly showed white. “That’s a pretty tall order.”

  “I know, but only by having that information can we form a sound assessment of how long they can stick it.”

  “What’s the matter with our Military Intelligence? They are paid to do this sort of thing in peacetime, and they’ve had years to collect the data on which to form a proper appreciation. Can’t they give you what you want?”

  Sir Pellinore’s blue eyes went a little blank, and he shook his head. “I don’t think it would be very profitable to go into that. All I can tell you is what some of our senior Generals have told me. Camberley and the War House have always taken a pretty poor view of the Russians. That may be based on sound information or it may be prejudice. Anyhow, when Russia came in most of these wallahs said she’d be finished in a month. Well, the month is up, and the Bolshies seem to have quite a lot of kick left in them yet. Now, when I lunch with the ‘brutal and licentious’ at the Senior or the Rag, the pessimists say the Russian goose will be cooked by the end of August, while the optimists give her three months at the outside.”

  “Have you ever read a book called Red Eagle?”

  “No. What about it?”

  “It was a biography of Marshal Voroshilov, published several years before the war, and I remember being particularly interested in what the author had to say about Russia’s future strategy, as gleaned from Voroshilov’s military writings.”

  “What line did this scribbler feller suggest that he’d take?”

  “He reported Voroshilov as saying that, owing to the tremendous development of air fleets in the Western European countries, frontiers and definitions of front and rear in the countries engaged would no longer have their former significance; and that the Marshal was counting on a great belt of Russian territory, including the cities of Leningrad, Smolensk, Minsk and Kiev, being rendered untenable. In fact, that he was reorganising the whole of Russia’s war potential to enable her to give up great areas of territory and yet put up an unbreakable defence. That he was already moving his arsenals and war factories right back behind the Urals where they would be too distant to be bombed; and that this would enable him to fight on in a position from which it would be practically impossible for any European power to dislodge him.”

  “Interesting, that.”

  “Yes. I thought so, because it was such an entirely different picture to anything that our military pundits ever seem to have visualised; and, after all, if they had only taken the trouble they could easily hav
e checked up those statements by consulting Voroshilov’s writings for themselves.”

  “Well, I only hope to God my Generals are wrong and your feller’s right; but that’s what we’ve got to find out. The hell of a lot hangs on this, Gregory, and I’ll tell you why; but you must keep it under your hat.”

  Sir Pellinore stood up and thrusting his great hands into the pockets of his pinstripe trousers, began to walk up and down. “We know that the Russian first line units are pretty well equipped, but the show seems to be developing in the way this pen-pusher of yours forecast. Huge battles are raging now at many points between the Baltic and the Black Sea, but there is no longer a continuous line of battle, and half the people fighting know only from day to day which is their front and which is their rear. In that sort of warfare whole formations, even up to divisions and Army corps, are apt to find themselves encircled and cut off. That doesn’t matter if you’re on the winning side, because a few days later your pals come up and break the ring that the enemy has made round you; but if your High Command is giving ground you find yourself left behind and you’re in the bag for good, with everything you’ve got.”

  “You mean that the Russians are not only losing men but a lot of their best equipment too?” Gregory interjected.

  “That’s it! Remember what we used to hear about the Ruskies in the last war? People who were out there said that they were damn good fighters but so short of weapons that they had only one rifle to every three men; and that when the feller who had it became a casualty the next chap picked it up. Well, if they could do that now with their tanks and guns they might be all right for a long time to come. But owing to this hotch-potch that has resulted from mechanised warfare it can’t be done. Stalin says that his war-plant is adequate for normal replacements, but that his losses to date have been abnormal, and that if he’s to stick the pace he must have every tank, gun, lorry and radio set that we can send him. See? He’s calling on us to do a Lease-Lend to Russia.”