In the Band

by Jean Haus

  “Sara took her home a little while ago. She rode here in the ambulance. She’s the one who called 911.”

  My eyes close as visions of what Jamie must have went through flash through my mind. “Is mom…awake?”

  “She’s in and out of it, but I think Jamie needs you more right now.”

  “Okay, okay, okay,” I keep saying, but the urge to see my mother safe and talk to her is overwhelming. “What’s her room number?”

  “Three twelve.”

  “I’ll be there in a bit.”

  “Riley—” my father starts.

  I end the call. Lifting my head, I notice all three of my band members staring at me from the far end of the stock room. I push myself up on wobbly legs. “I have to go.”

  “What?” Justin asks incredulously. “We have another set to finish.”

  “What’s going on?” Concern etching his expression, Romeo steps past Justin.

  I reach out and hold a shelf for support. “My mother’s in the hospital.”

  Sam’s blue eyes turn huge. “Is she okay?”

  I blink. “I think she’s going to be alright.” At least health wise. Mentally she’s falling apart.

  Justin’s confused face turns hard. “Then you should finish the set.”

  Romeo watches me with a growing frown but says to Justin, “Shut the fuck up.”

  “What?” Justin points at Romeo. “You’re the one who’s always worried about our reputation. Say we have to look professional. What the hell will it look like if we don’t go back on?”

  Romeo’s fists clench at his sides as he steps inches from Justin. “You think she can go out and play with her mother in the hospital?”

  “She said her mother was going to be okay…” Justin says weakly.

  Romeo’s jaw tightens. “Get. Out. Before I knock you out.”

  Justin blanches but one look at Romeo’s hard expression and clenched fist has him spinning toward the door.

  Romeo reaches for my arm. “You look like you’re going to collapse. Where are your keys?” I gesture weakly to my bag on the floor. He snags my bag and drags me by the arm down a short hallway. Sam follows and Romeo tosses his keys at him. “Get your acoustic, explain an emergency came up, and apologize. Play as many songs as possible. Justin should be able to keep up with the vocals. Tell the owner I’ll call him as soon as possible. And I’ll call you for a ride later.”

  Sam only nods at the directions as he follows us out. He heads straight for the van in the alley while Romeo pulls me to the parking lot.

  He pauses at the edge of the car-filled lot. “Where’s your car?”

  Mentally, I’m still sitting in the stock room. “Why?”

  “I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

  “I can—”

  “You can barely walk. Where’s your car?” he repeats.

  In defeat, I point to my gray sedan.

  On the way to the hospital, except for Romeo telling me not to worry about the gig, the car is silent while my hands clench my thighs in a silent scream. I’m not sure if Romeo is upset over leaving or giving me space, but I don’t care. In a daze, I only want to see my mother.

  My stupor continues until I get to the third floor of the hospital. Romeo steered me across the parking lot, around the hospital, and into the elevator. Without him, I probably would have gotten lost.

  My father hugs me as soon as I get off the elevator. “Riley, I’m sorry but there’s nothing you can do right now. She’s… the drugs are still wearing off.”

  I don’t hug him back. Though I may be wrong, though it may be unfair, I can’t help blaming him for what’s happened. I step away from him. “Then why are you still here?”

  His expression is pained. “Sara took Jamie and my car.”

  Anger destroys any remnants of the haze I’d been in. I whirl away from him. “I’ll be back in a bit,” I say to Romeo, who offers a curt nod.

  My father follows me down the hall. As I pass the nurses’ station, I hear him explaining who I am, but I just march on.

  My mother’s room is quiet except for the beep of what I’m assuming is a heart monitor. She lies still, looking small and fragile in the hospital bed. She’s desperate sorrow lying before me. And so alone. The divorce has left her isolated. Or maybe she’s isolated herself.

  My lip trembles and as I reach for her hand. At my touch, her brown eyes flutter open for a second before they close. Watching her lay there, I want to shake her awake and demand answers. I want to hug her and tell her my father isn’t worth this. I want to wheel her and the entire bed out of here. Mostly, I want to go back in time and make sure this never happened.

  After I stand there for several long minutes, holding her hand tightly while she doesn’t move, I give her knuckles a soft kiss then gently lay her hand on the blanket before exiting the room. I don’t go in the waiting room just hover at the door. Romeo and my father sit across from one another but both are quiet.

  “Let’s go,” I say to Romeo then to my father, “Sara should be here within the half hour.”

  My father stands. “Riley, don’t look at me like that. I still care about Maggie. I sent Sara home with Jamie because I couldn’t leave until I knew Maggie was going to be okay. I plan on being here in the morning.”

  “Care or guilt?” His face pales at my question. Before he can answer, I say, “And don’t come in the morning. Do you really think she wants to see you?” I hiss before stomping toward the elevator.

  Luckily, Romeo stays silent as we leave the hospital, but worry and despondency build a lump in my throat. As soon as I get in the car, my sobbing starts. Romeo doesn’t say anything just pulls me into his arms.

  “She overdosed. Because of him,” I say into his shoulder. Not because I want to share, but because I need to say the words, need to hear reality, even if it’s from my own lips.

  He stiffens for a quick second then rubs my back as I continue to sob. “You know that stupid commercial is true. Depression hurts. It’s an illness. Your mother needs help.”

  Realizing he’s right, my mother’s truly ill, I sob harder. He continues holding me, offering support without words. Finally, nearly spent, I pull away from him. “I need to get home.”

  He nods, starts the car, and asks for directions.

  I dig through the glove box for a napkin while he drives then use the paper and the slow leak of falling tears to wipe the stream of mascara and eyeliner running down my face. Once we pull in my driveway, I say in a nasally tone, “Um…guess you should come in until Sam gets here.”

  Romeo quietly follows me onto the porch.

  Jamie flies off the couch and into my arms the moment I enter the house. Falling into the nearest chair in the living room, I just revel in the feel of her small arms around me. Behind me, I hear Romeo tell Sara my father is waiting for her to pick him up. Good, because I don’t want to talk to the woman. I’m super annoyed she’s in my house. Then I hear his one sided conversation about a ride and him giving directions to Sam.

  “Did you see mom?” Jamie asks, sitting up in my lap. Her worried eyes search mine. “Is she okay? Daddy told me she was okay, but she wouldn’t wake up.”

  “She’s okay. We’ll go see her tomorrow morning.”

  “She wouldn’t wake up,” she repeats. “She just laid on the hallway floor. Why wouldn’t she wake up, Riley?”

  “She’s…” I look above Jamie’s head and catch Romeo watching us from the chair opposite mine. “She’s sick, but she’ll be better soon.” My throat tightens at the lie. My mother’s depression isn’t going to get better overnight. Noticing Jamie’s in pajamas, I say, “It’s almost midnight. You should be in bed.”

  “I…can’t we sleep down here? Like a slumber party?”

  She’s scared to be alone after what happened. “Okay, go get your blanket and pillow.”

  Jumping off my lap, she finally notices the person sitting in the chair across from us. “Oh, hey Romeo!” She looks between us with a confused exp
ression. “Is Romeo your new boyfriend?”

  The sight of Romeo’s startled expression has a laugh escaping me. “No, we’re just friends.” Not really. “Go get your stuff.”

  “Huh, well he should be,” she says, looking between us then running upstairs.

  “Sorry about that.” I reach for the remote. Romeo shrugs but his expression stays startled. I flick on the TV. With his black shirt, black boots, and the sliver hoops lining his ears, he looks out of place in my mother’s pastel living room. “You have siblings?”

  “Only child.”

  I start pushing buttons. “Well, I’m even sorrier about this.”

  He raises a dark eyebrow and crosses his boots.

  I cue in Jamie’s favorite show, some Disney Channel sitcom and use the remote to gesture to the screen. “Prepared to be annoyed.”

  He frowns at the TV.

  His quietness is starting to freak me out. “How soon until Sam gets here?”

  “Within the hour.”

  Hoping to get away from his loud quietness, I ask, “Do you need anything? Pop? Water? Ice tea?”

  “I’m fine.”

  Okay, maybe my gratitude is long overdue. “Um…” I say and take a deep breath. “Thanks for tonight. Not only for shutting Justin up, but for driving me to the hospital and here. You were right. There was no way I could have driven. And thanks…for all the other stuff,” I add, thinking of him holding me.

  “You’re welcome. But no problem,” he says stiffly and his gaze flicks to the TV.

  Jamie comes down and we move to the couch. She settles her pillow and head on my lap, but before the first commercial break, she’s fast asleep.

  It’s kind of weird sitting and watching a Disney sitcom with Romeo. I turn the TV over to regular cable. “Anything you interested in?”

  He shakes his head. “No, but could you turn it off. So I can say something?”

  “Ah, okay.” I’m suddenly filled with apprehension as I click off the power.

  With a pensive expression, he scoots to the edge of the chair. “I…want to apologize for the way I’ve been treating you.” His full lips turn down. “For the way I’ve pretty much always treated you. I’ve been a complete ass.”

  I’m stunned then angry at the contrite look in his eyes. “Is this because you feel sorry for me? Because of my mother?”

  He sluggishly rubs the dark scruff on his chin. “Not exactly. I do feel sorry for you, especially for your mother. If our roles were reversed, wouldn’t you feel sorry for me?”

  Thinking of him having to deal with what I did tonight and what tomorrow will bring, I can’t help but nod.

  He takes a deep breath and lets it out. “Tonight I saw you as a real person, instead of someone who had the potential to destroy what I’ve worked so hard to accomplish for the last two years. Even more, tonight had me realizing hard work and determination don’t trump everything and everyone else. Life is bigger than Luminescent Juliet.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Deep down I know that. I just—my determination kept it buried.”

  I’m shocked and silent as his eyes search mine while waiting for a response. The chirp of bugs through the open window grows loud. “I…your behavior almost makes sense hearing from your point of view. But you have been an ass, and all I ever wanted to do was play.”

  “I’m slowly getting that.” His full lips thin. “Maybe after dealing with Justin for so long, I tend to think most people want to be in a band for the social connections.”

  I glance down at Jamie. She looks peaceful sleeping in my lap. “You may get your wish after all.”

  He cocks his head silently questioning me.

  “I might have to quit.”

  “That’s not what I want anymore,” he says lowly. “We’d never get another drummer like you.”

  My fingers brush dark strands of hair from my sister’s face. “I love drumming, yet my family’s more important than playing.”

  Lights flash in the window and an engine sounds in the driveway.

  Romeo stands and glances at Jamie sleeping on my lap. “I’d understand if you decided to quit, but I’m hoping you’ll stay with us.” His expression serious, he stops in front of us. “And if you need anything, help with Jamie, someone to talk to, or something else, call me. I want to help.”

  I’m stunned for the third time, but manage to mumble, “Thank you.”

  He nods then disappears into the hall before the door quietly shuts.

  Though the rumble of the engine fades away, my shock at Romeo’s words doesn’t. While he has been a jerk, he has always shown his true colors when push came to shove. Like when Jamie came to practice or with everything he did tonight. He may be a player and a cheater, but he’s nothing like shallow Justin.

  Chapter 16

  Jamie and I went to the hospital almost as soon as we woke. Although the doctor wanted my mother to stay, he signed her release papers right away and we left the hospital before nine in the morning. I’m not sure if my father ever came to check on his wife.

  I haven’t had a chance to talk with my mother. Jamie won’t leave her side. They’ve spent most of the day lying in mom’s bed watching TV. I took them up lunch—soup and sandwiches—a couple of hours ago. But the need to discuss last night with my mom is plaguing my conscience and making my stomach roll.

  I’d forgotten Chloe was coming over dealing with all the turmoil going on in my head. When she showed up at the door, I was almost thankful for the mindless primping get-together. She’d come to fix my hair, nails, eyebrows, and whatever else she deems necessary.

  “How can I paint your nails with your hands clenched?” Chloe asks, holding the small brush, dripping with black polish over the kitchen counter.

  I look down at my curled hands then straighten them. “Sorry, I’m a bit tense.”

  She raises a brow. “A bit?”

  “Long night,” I murmur then think about a safe topic. “So how was your date?”

  She swipes at my nails. “Pretty good. He’s rather mature. Maybe too mature for me. I hadn’t realized he was twenty-seven.”

  Staring at her platinum head bent over my hands, my eyes grow huge. “Twenty-seven? Where did you meet this guy again? And does he know you’re eighteen?”

  “He works in the garage across from my cosmetology school. And yes, he knows I’m eighteen.”

  My nose wrinkles as she finishes a pinky. “Then he’s skeevy.”

  She shrugs. “He’s nicer than most of the tools I date.” She gestures toward the stove and the boiling pasta. “You want me to drain that?”

  I nod while the whole Marcus thing is at the tip of my tongue. She always calls Marcus a tool and she’s been different since that night. Not her usual fun, sarcastic self. I’m thinking of the best way to voice my knowledge and get it over with when my phone bursts into a fast drumbeat. The name on the front has me almost falling off my chair. It’s like my thoughts conjured up his call.

  “You gonna get that?” Chloe asks from her spot at the sink.

  Nails still wet, I carefully reach for my phone. “Ah hello.”

  “What happened to your mom?” Marcus asks.

  “Who told you?” My warm feelings for Romeo from last night instantly fade.

  “Justin said you ran out in the middle of the gig to the hospital.”

  I get mad at myself. I should have known it was Justin instead of Romeo. “She’s fine. She’s home.”

  “Why was she in the hospital? What happened?”

  I can only guess and I’m not sharing that with him. He’s already dissing my mom. “I…don’t want to get into it right now.”

  “Huh, well…okay. How are you doing?”

  “I’m alright. Getting my hair done and cooking dinner. Can I call you back later?”

  “Ah sure,” he says. “She’s okay though, right?”

  “Yes. I gotta go before the chicken burns. Bye,” I say quickly and hang up.

  Chloe glances at the already cooked, cooli
ng chicken. “Who was that? And what was it about? Because you’re beyond flustered.”

  “No one. Nothing,” I mumble.

  Chloe’s eyes narrow on me. “What the hell? What is with you lately? Everything is some deep dark secret with you.”

  I wince. I wouldn’t call it keeping secrets. Just withholding information. My mom’s issues are hers. And though I didn’t tell Chloe about Romeo wanting me to quit, I did tell her about messing around with him. “Oh, and what about you?”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” When I’m stubbornly silent, she reaches for her keys at the end of the counter. “I don’t know if it’s the divorce or the scholarship thing or what, but you’re edging on the line of bitch.”

  “You’re going to leave me with foils still in my hair?” I ask incredulously, pointing to my head. If it were up to me, I would have left the roots underneath brown.

  “Wait another twenty minutes. You can take them out yourself,” she snaps and whirls toward the hallway.

  “I know about you and Marcus,” I blurt.

  She snaps around and keys fall to the floor, but she doesn’t bend to get them. “He told you?”

  I’m not sure which indicates her shock more, the screechy pitch of her question or her open-mouthed expression. I shake my head. “I almost walked in on you two. One of you must have left the door open.”

  Eyes down cast, she slowly slides onto the stool next to me. “He asked me not to say anything to you. So I didn’t.”

  I’m not sure why he cares about me knowing, but at the moment, I’m interested in her. “Do you like him?”

  She sighs. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Why?”

  She twists a glass of ice tea between her hands. “Because he’s in love with you.”

  I instantly stop blowing on my nails and burst out laughing. “Trust me. He’s not.”

  Her long lashed eyes rise to mine. The pain in them kills my laughter. “He is and always has been.”

  I shake my head. Though I suspected he had a crush on me before I started dating Aaron, I haven’t noticed that vibe from him in a long time. “He told you that?”