Outing of the Heart

by Lisa Ann Harper

  ‘Hi Mom. It’s me.’

  ‘Where were you dear?’ There was no preamble and the voice sounded suspicious.

  ‘Oh, I just stayed over with friends,’ she responded as offhandedly as possible, hating a third degree, especially when she was trying to be evasive. Deflect the conversation to the upcoming tour. Doris was not reconciled to the idea, but she did accept it as a fait accompli. Eventually, when she hung up, she was feeling out of sorts. Her mother had had the last word, as usual.

  * * *

  Everyone was there when she arrived, but this time she was able to slip in and pick up without making waves. Devon flashed her a warm smile. They went through the performance dances with a fine toothcomb, checking the blocks with Raoul, assessing the presentation from an audience viewpoint. The session was successful and everyone’s expectation was positive.

  Tenille was looking very Spanish. Things had come together in the last few weeks in a most effective way. It had been a gruelling workout and she was exhausted, but confident she could hold up her end and it made her feel good. She returned to her little domain, wishing the hours to fly fast ’til tomorrow, when she would be with Sidonie again. They had arranged a pick up like last time, driving over to Riverdale Park together.

  * * *

  Sidonie’s excitement at the prospect of seeing and being with Tenille was mounting steadily, as she got herself ready after the gym. It had been a punishing session, but she noted with satisfaction, how her weight gain had translated into an increase in the kilograms she was able to lift. Her body had never looked better. Just that little extra bulk had eliminated the last of any remaining fat. Now she was smooth and lean; taut all over, her compact build full of athleticism. Heads were turning when she walked by. In jeans her bottom was tight, but rounded and showed to best advantage above her strong legs. All this, coupled with the light tanning of her skin and shining blonde of her hair made her stunning. She chose her khaki shorts again which, although cut on the loose side in front, gave prominence to the small curve of her backside and a slight hint of her crack. They were also short enough to reveal the good definition of her quads and hamstrings. Perfectly proportioned legs with a shapely calf, tapering to a slim ankle. She had her Flyers’ club shirt on, which she planned to wear down, but would change into something else after.

  As the sun dipped lower late in the afternoon, traffic was heavy, the streets jammed tight with impatient commuters. Sidonie, with the sun in her eyes, was against the flow as she approached downtown. The quantity of cars and rush hour buses slowed her to a ‘stop and go’. Impatiently, she checked her watch, but held herself back from taking risks. The radio would provide some distraction. Brandy was singing HAVE YOU EVER? She seemed to be speaking directly to her. She went into her ‘Tenille reverie’, remembering, yet again, the play of light across her neck and shoulders as she was seated at the dressing table. She felt an almost painful stirring within her and having to cope with a prominent clitoris all the time was making walking and sitting uncomfortable; but she loved the power of these images. Remembering a kiss could send a charge through her, shooting from each strand of hair, down to the tips of her toes.

  Tenille herself answered the doorbell, positively radiant, the light in her eyes flashing such pleasure at seeing her again. She was dressed more casually today. A pale lemon, tight fitting top with little cap sleeves and matching tailored, town shorts. Over top she wore a russet colored, linen vest. The effect was chic, the soft tones bringing out the brilliance of her eyes, which had turned moist and the amber glow of her skin.

  ‘Hullo,’ Sidonie said huskily, not able to command her lips and tongue to articulate more. The vision before her took her breath away. She watched Tenille’s mouth as the corners lifted in a shy smile, wishing she could feel, right this minute, their soft and sensuous warmth, meeting her own hungry need. Since she just stood and stared, Tenille had to break the silence by remarking that her timing was perfect.

  ‘I’m allready,’ she declared, closing the door behind her. ‘Shall we go?’

  ‘Oh, yes … yes of course.’ Pulling herself together, she followed Tenille down the path to the car and gallantly sprang to unlock the door and usher her into her chariot. As she sat, just before she would swing her legs into the car, Tenille looked up. There was no mistaking the admiration that shone from Sidonie’s glowing face. ‘How have you been?’ she enquired softly, reaching out and stroking her cheek with the back of her fingers. Tenille clasped the caressing hand and brought it down to her gently swelling breasts.

  ‘I’ve missed you dreadfully, darling,’ she admitted, now bringing the captured hand to her lips.

  Sidonie desperately wanted to lean over and take this woman in her arms. Longing was suffocating her, almost to the point of sickness. She had better move on. Mrs. Sandrelli could be watching.

  As they sped across town, Tenille reached out and laid her hand intimately on Sidonie’s firm thigh. ‘You’re looking exceptionally fit today, Sid,’ she observed warmly. ‘Of course you always look good,’ she amended, ‘but today … I don’t know, there’s something special about you that I can’t define.’ Sidonie’s laughter held a note of self-conscious embarrassment.

  ‘It’s the same old me, Babe, just dressed to play ball.’ She manoeuvred her turn into the Riverdale parking area and this time took no note of whose car was already there or not. ‘We might be a bit early so we’ll have time to get you settled.’ However, Tenille was struck by the number of motorbikes in evidence. Obviously for many, this was a favorite or preferable mode of transport. They were parked more to one side in a special area. Perhaps those women travelled together?

  Strolling over to the bleachers Sidonie looked along critically, for a good vantage point. They made a striking couple. She so fair, blonde hair shimmering in the shafts of early evening sunlight, illuminated with a bright gold brilliance, fluffy and silky after the shower; physique compact and powerful. In contrast, Tenille was willowy and dark, a dancer’s figure, the voluptuousness only hinted at; dark brown, almost black hair, bound by a silk scarf, a paler shade than the vest. The curls were kept out of her eyes, but still rippled and bounced as she walked by Sidonie’s side. Reine and Thea spotted them and remarked how good they looked together.

  ‘Hi guys,’ hollered Reine, still some distance away.

  Sidonie stood up and waved as she recognized her friends. ‘Greetings earthlings,’ she called out. ‘You made it early too.’

  ‘Hello Thea,’ said Tenille and Thea gave her a quick hug.

  ‘How be you?’ she enquired as she lowered herself down.

  ‘Very well – and you?’

  ‘Better this week. The family hassles are over thank God.’

  ‘All right, girls,’ Reine addressed herself to them: ‘We’ll be off and see you after the game.’ Sidonie gave Tenille a quick, secret smile as she turned to follow her friend.

  While they waited, Tenille asked Thea how long they had known Sidonie and how they had met.

  ‘It’s a few years ago now. We used to live not far from the Hendersons, out Mississauga way. Sidonie knew my kitten, Scully. Anyway, Scully got out and wandered so far, she couldn’t find her way back. Sid discovered her in the park when she was coming home from school and brought her back to us. I invited her in and then Reine came home from work and we got talking. After that she dropped by from time to time.

  ‘That last winter we were there, she would come and shovel the sidewalk and front steps for us. She seemed to enjoy the homely atmosphere we provided and I think she felt comfortable with our being together for so long and …’ Suddenly she stopped, remembering Sidonie had said nothing was certain about Tenille’s sexual preference. She could be straight. She wasn’t to mention that she and Reine were a couple. Feeling guilty, she had discomfort written all over her previously jovial countenance. Tenille, observing the changes, felt for Thea’s mortification and tried to set her at ease. She wanted her to know she wasn’t bothered by … she h
esitated then said: ‘The concept of women loving women. Especially if they really care for each other,’ she finished up.

  Thea was so relieved, there had been no harm done. Did this mean Sidonie had at last found someone? ‘I’m so glad,’ she rushed on, ‘this means you and Sid are …?’ Tenille nodded.

  ‘I think so. At least we like being together at the moment.’

  ‘You and Sid look so good. And she’s absolutely mad about you.’

  ‘Is she really?’ There was no mistaking the delight in her voice at this news. ‘Thank you for telling me.’

  ‘You must have known by the way she looks at you.’ Thea regarded her intently. ‘Or do you think she looks like that at every woman?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Tenille said slowly. ‘I don’t really know all that much about her. Especially not what she’s like with other women.’ A picture of Dearne flashed into her mind and gave her a sharp pang.

  ‘Well, I assure you, although Sid can have a roving eye, she’s had eyes for no one but you, for the last three months.’ She smiled at Tenille. ‘You know that song, ‘Hungry Eyes’?’ She nodded. ‘Well, that pretty well sums up Sid and you are the one.’

  Tenille couldn’t stop the smile from broadening. Nor could she hold herself back from confessing impulsively: ‘I feel the same way.’ Thea was the first person she had been able to tell. It felt wonderful. ‘Every time she looks at me I feel it’s the way it should be between us. Do you know what I mean?’ She searched Thea’s face, her dark eyes large and enquiring. Thea could see the power of the pull Tenille would have on Sid. She could make her a very happy woman.

  ‘I do … I do,’ she hastened to assure her. ‘Listen,’ she added, in a changed voice: ‘Why don’t you come back to our place, after the game? It will be much better for talking and getting to know each other. What do you say?’ The eyes behind the thick lenses were keen and bright, the hair, still worn loose to the shoulders, was blowing in the wind and had to be brushed back impatiently. ‘We could order in Pizza or Chinese,’ she added.

  ‘Sounds great, Thea, but I don’t know what Sidonie’s plans are. She may have to get right back.’

  ‘Oh, Sid’ll agree. No problem there,’ Thea confirmed her statement with definite nods. Tenille didn’t share her confidence, remembering last time. “We shall see,” she thought and turned her attention to the game.

  The teams played better this week, fewer fumbles, more accurate throws; even a few exciting moments. Sidonie didn’t distinguish herself particularly, but the woman Tenille remembered as Trent did very well, hitting a spectacular home run in the closing moments, giving her team the winning score. When she came off the field, Trent looked up at her and smiled an acknowledgment. She felt herself blush. Now that was silly, just because Trent had given her a smile. She did have this strange effect on her though. She remembered all her confusion last week, when they first met, and at The Rose. Not a woman to easily forget. Her eyes followed her off the field and she knew they liked what they saw.

  When the two players joined them, pleased they’d performed better, but disappointed they’d lost, Thea immediately came out with the suggestion they drown their sorrows at the apartment; St. Jamestown was very close. ‘What do you say?’ She turned to Sidonie.

  ‘That’s fine with me, what do you want to do Ten?’

  Tenille could still see where the mask had been pressing into her brow. What a different reaction from last week. Well, she obviously didn’t want to be alone with her tonight. This thought left her feeling disappointed, but she would go with the flow. She wanted to get to know her friends better.

  ‘Fine with me. Whatever you like.’

  Sidonie continued, addressing Thea: ‘We can’t stay late. Tenille has to get back.’ She looked meaningfully at her, a slight frown on her face.

  ‘Yes,’ Tenille endorsed and said no more.

  ‘Not a problem,’ Reine acquiesced, cheerfully. ‘The pad’s close, we’ll be there in five.’

  The apartment, although only small, was well appointed. The building complex itself in St. Jamestown, was quite old and by now a little run down, having suffered much wear and tear over the years. The apartment gave a feeling of warmth and caring. The couple had had a long time together in which to make their collection, resulting in a very eclectic assortment. Thea had an obvious love of plants, reflected by the number of pots, spilling their contents of leafy fronds and vines over every surface and numerous handsome jardinieres. Tenille estimated it would take at least an hour to water and this was only the living room. A glimpse of the balcony revealed an even greater profusion.

  ‘You guys want something to drink?’ offered Reine, ‘ …or coffee?’

  ‘Mm..m great,’ responded Sidonie. ‘I could really go a light OV.’ She turned to Tenille: ‘How about you, Ten?’ She nodded agreement, enjoying Sidonie’s use of her shortened name.

  She chose a soft cushioned chesterfield, one of the many seats arranged around the coffee table. Fashioned from an old wooden and iron weigh scale, some enterprising craftsman had refinished and marketed it into a new function. As Tenille admired, Sidonie dumped herself down beside her remarking in a low voice: ‘The sight of you gladdens my heart.’

  She had changed into a fresh white shirt. It was open at the throat and had the collar turned up slightly. Tenille could feel the bright blue eyes fixed intently on her face as she turned her head and smiled, looking deeply into those strong, appealing features. Being so close, her warm breath brushed lightly across her cheek. She saw her lips curving into an answering grin and wished they were on her. At this moment Reine arrived bearing drinks, Thea in her wake with a bowl each of pretzels and chips.

  ‘You two look very cosy,’ she observed, which resulted in their springing guiltily apart.

  ‘At ease,’ commanded Reine, as she put out the drinks. They all had beers except Thea who preferred Coke.

  Just then Scully appeared. No longer the little kitten, but a fully-grown, beautiful British Shorthair. She was a grey/torti, the markings very distinctive. She had a special air about her, knowing she was to spend her days being admired.

  ‘Hello Scully, come and meet Tenille,’ Sidonie called out. As if understanding every word, she sashayed over and rubbed herself against her legs. Tenille scooped her up and gave her a cuddle.

  ‘Oh, isn’t she darling.’ she exclaimed, as she stroked the dense, but soft coat. Scully gave her a look, but didn’t object.

  ‘Good game tonight,’ Sidonie commented.

  ‘Lotsa room for improvement,’ Reine warned then changed the subject.

  ‘Say, did you read about that dreadful case where a young woman, having been raped by two men and thrown over a brick wall, broke her ankle in the fall and couldn’t move?’

  ‘Yeah, yeah,’ acknowledged Sidonie, her eyes round in disbelief. ‘So awful.’ She turned to the others and continued the story. ‘This guy was driving by and saw her in distress. He stopped, told her he was a nurse and would get help. In a little while he returned and proceeded to rape her himself. Can you believe it?’

  ‘The poor wretch got a triple whammy. Anyway …’ this was Reine, ‘ …they apprehended him, but the other two got away.’

  ‘You know,’ observed Thea, ‘I think women are in a worse position now than they have ever been.’

  ‘Why do you say that?’ asked Tenille. ‘We have more independence. Rights are more equal too. We’re not tied to the kitchen sink either.’

  ‘This is true, Tenille, but think again of those days gone by; a middle class family, the daughters very carefully nurtured and raised. The wives and mothers had help with domestic chores and male escorts protected most women; be they brothers or father. If not them then nanny or the governess. Today, the woman must rely on labor saying devices. If she wants equality with the male then it’s expected it’s fair game to use and abuse her, with no thought of the rights and decency which should be accorded to a human being.’ Thea shook her head, sadly. ‘It’s too
bad equality legislation didn’t come when women were still respected, just as our elders were. In my opinion, equality has arrived when the male view of womanhood is at an all time low. Now, in fact, is the time that we should be given more protection, not less.’

  Thea stopped to draw breath. Her audience looked at her, somewhat stunned. ‘Well,’ remarked Reine, ‘I’m glad I’m a woman for you and not a man.’ They exchanged meaningful looks. Sidonie broke into this by observing: ‘That’s as may be, but I’m more concerned about the practicalities.’ She looked across at Tenille and confessed: ‘I’ve been very worried about your riding around on the TTC, late at night. I know …’ she held up her hand to forestall any indignant outburst, ‘ …you say you’re careful, but there are loonies out there.’ She drew her eyebrows together and the storm gathering in her eyes was clearly visible. ‘You have no way of knowing what irrational behaviors could be let loose and you just jump into any carriage. Not even the guard’s van.’ The eyes were deepening in their blueness and now her mouth had a grim set. ‘You walk down Walmer Road late at night, absolutely vulnerable to attack,’ she ended, heatedly, as she fought to keep her voice steady.

  Thea was anxious to pour out the oil and deflect some of Sidonie’s indignation. ‘Why is it that young males cause so much trouble in our society, do you think?’ She looked at her, but she had sunk into her beer, still fuming. Thea persisted. ‘They’re brought up in the family and through schools the same as we are, yet half the time, they seem like alien creatures.’