Outing of the Heart

by Lisa Ann Harper

  When Sid returned she was wearing the salmon boxer shorts and nothing else. As her mind took in what her eyes showed in the dim light of the bedside lamps, Ten’s pulse missed a beat. Sid moved towards her with graceful pliantness, setting the muscles to ripple through her torso and legs. Ten knew it was late, but still she wanted to ignite that fire and then be consumed in its flames.

  She slipped in beside Ten, but lay motionless, holding her breath, still unable to prevent the trembling of her limbs. When she reached out to turn off the light, Ten turned into her back and moved close enough for her nipples to brush against Sid’s skin. Their response electrified her and her sharp intake of breath was involuntary.

  Sid’s body too, was engulfed in a torrent of sensation; she was powerless to resist, the contact sending waves of excitement through her. Sparks, like small bolts of lightening had attacked her from within. She rolled to her other side to turn off Ten’s light but instead, took her in her arms and held her close, the pillowy softness of their breasts cushioning the contact between them. Only the hard erection of their nipples gave indication of the passion that was raging through their bodies. Sid was trying to be sensible, to deny the evidence of the raw need which ravaged through them, but rational thought was as quicksilver, fast receding. Ten made a small sound at the back of her throat, her eyes squeezed shut as she clung to Sid, inhaling the sharp clean scent of her body, fresh from the shower.

  She brought her hand round and gently stroked Ten’s cheek, then threaded her fingers through her hair. Her eyelids flew open and as her gaze adjusted to the nocturnal glow her eyes met those azure ones and mirrored the look of longing she saw. With exquisite, tantalizing slowness, Sid’s fingers traced a path down her cheek, past her throat to that desired resting-place. As she found her nipple and began to knead it gently, Ten’s lips were already parted for the kiss. She shuddered with pleasure when Sid plunged her tongue into her mouth. The centre of her being was the heat and wetness of her mouth, numb and tingling from the ferocity of Sid’s kiss. She had not experienced Sid like this. This strong expression of her passion, so possessive, so demanding, it burned her up inside, leaving her trembling and helpless with longing. Again Sid’s lips closed on hers and once more her hot, thick tongue took possession as her right. Inseparably entwined, they lost themselves in passionate kisses which alternately demanded then yielded, searched then gave, all the time stoking an ardor that cried out for more.

  Sid had wrapped her top leg over Ten’s buttocks and through the thin silk of the boxer shorts Ten could feel the crisp curls of her pubic hair against her thigh. She had begun to move her clitoris rhythmically back and forth over her, making the silk even more slippery with her wetness.

  The thought discharged through her, this time she would not be denied that ultimate expression of her love; giving Sid exquisite pleasure and bringing her to a climax of ecstatic proportion. To this end she stroked the curve of Sid’s ass, hot and tight with exertion, until she found her fingertips sliding in the glistening wet of her raw hunger. At this moment, more than anything in the world she wanted to feel Sid in her most hidden and secret place. She wanted to experience the softness of Sid’s engorged flesh in her fingers, caressing her in total abandonment to this wanton desire which right now, dominated every thought and move. She wanted to bring her to the moment when she would cry out in primitive animalism, unable to hold back the intensity of her feeling. This was the only reality left in her world, making her unmindful of the lateness of the hour; losing all track of time.

  Sid was clinging to her lover, blindly, instinctively, her head buried in her neck. She had closed her eyes, living wholly in the presence of her body, giving way to its more and more insistent demands as Ten’s wondrous caresses sent surge after surge of pleasure piercing to her very centre.

  Mentally, she took a step back. If she let go, this would be the first time she had surrendered herself to another. She had always been the dominant player and afterwards, taken her own pleasure for herself. This time she did want to give in, but she wasn’t sure she could do it. Was it there in her nature? She understood her capacity for feeling when it was applied to a lover, but could she break down a lifetime of barriers and allow someone else to rule her body? Dictate its responses? Could she let go her control to permit the ultimate surrender … the orgasm?

  All she knew was that she adored this woman beside her and right now she would do anything she asked. This was the night. The time had come. Early or late, there could be no more denial; she would let happen, what would happen. Between them there had developed a degree of sensuality, an intensity of love that made all things possible. She thought she had been in love before; madly, desperately, thinking it was the only thing that mattered in the world, but she was wrong. There had always been that inability to turn dream into reality … until now. Her dream had been made flesh and her name was Tenille.

  At the feel of Ten’s touch on her clitoris Sid’s body was racked with a rough, raw need that shook through her. But then she slipped away causing Sid to writhe in torment. She pushed harder against Ten’s hand. She knew she was moaning, but at last she didn’t care. Ten tried to pull herself a little away from Sid’s embrace, but she couldn’t. In a voice thick and husky she said: ‘You must let me go a little, my love.’ Sid came to herself at the sound of her voice and realized her grip had gone beyond comfort.

  ‘Sorry.’ It was hard to speak through her aching throat. With a great effort she let go completely and rolled onto her back. Now Ten was able to bring herself up beside Sid. In the same ragged voice she muttered: ‘Just lie there and let …’ She didn’t finish what she’d started to say, but began to remove Sid’s underwear. Sid made to help her but she protested: ‘No … Let me.’ She moved her right leg over top of Sid then sat on her with her thighs either side and rested on her outstretched hands. Now she could move her own clitoris over Sid’s bone, all the while drinking in the sight of her lover’s naked body.

  So rarely had she ever gotten to see it.

  Sid, in her turn, lying on her back, watched Ten’s movements with intense concentration. She saw her heavy breasts swaying rhythmically before her eyes and then felt her own cupped by soft hands, gently pushing, lifting, dropping. As Ten let them fall she felt them grow to a size and tension beyond her believing. No one had ever made her so aware of her breasts before; of such pleasure as this.

  ‘I love you so much.’ Ten murmured in her ear as she flattened her body out to bring her whole weight onto Sid’s stomach and her lips to her engorged nipples. She could feel her heart thudding heavily against her face. Now her mouth captured, sucked, released, first one then the other of the small firm mounds, tasting their saltiness and bathing them in her own saliva. Sid’s clit throbbed to be touched again, but she kept her body still as Ten moved against her, sending through jet after jet of desire. In this stillness she experienced an even greater intensity of pleasure than when she herself moved. It was as though she were being transported to another plain: a higher level.

  With animal grace Ten moved herself down, her face coming to nestle amongst Sid’s soft, damp curls. She loved her musky smell. An odor to connect with all living beings in the fulfilment of their sexual maturity. She felt Ten’s hot breath between her legs and deep shudders racked her body. ‘Aa …ah,’ escaped her lips as Ten’s soft tongue slide down the whole length of her secret slit like molten gold. Now her moans became ‘ohs’ of the purest pleasure as she continued to explore and savor. She could die for these moments; for this touch, for this woman.

  ‘Ten,’ she whispered rapturously, then over and over in a melting voice, ‘Ten..Ten, Tenille.’

  She continued her tongue caresses, drinking in the taste and smell of her darling, lost in her own ecstasy of fulfilment. As she licked, her own passion rose to dizzying heights inside her. She could feel the suffusion in her vagina increasing her own agitation and knew it would not be long for her now, but she wanted Sid’s orgasm above all else. She
eased her hand under Sid’s butt and found the cleft. Her probing finger slid easily into the pulsating depression of her hole. Now, slightly inserted, she could return all her attention to that demanding head. Together they would ride the crests of their climactic waves, as they built in mutual pleasure to hang for that perfect moment on the point of shattering release. Quickly Ten’s lips came down and then her tongue began rapid, darting probes against the hard bud of Sid’s tumescence. She built her momentum to vibration pitch until Sid felt herself rise to the zenith, on the edge of oblivion, then explode into a tempest of pure sensation. Ten mirrored the movements of her tongue with her probing finger at Sid’s ass. Instantly, she could feel pulsations of orgasmic contractions as her body yielded up to the explosion of ecstasy which sent her pitching head long, down the path of conscious bliss. She was hers, but totally; the only one for her would always be Tenille.

  With the first spasms of Sid’s orgasm, Ten’s own climax reached its peak and she tumbled, headlong through an ecstatic rip curl. Her face flamed as the turbulence surged within her and her heart slid down her ribs. Knowing she had satisfied this girl was an utter intoxication. In all her life, she knew she would never forget the experience of this special moment, her first time.

  Sid began to cry softly with the discharge of her built up tension. The tears sparkled on the tips of her eyelashes like bright jewels as they caught the light from the lamp. The fair lashes unveiled her eyes ’til she was looking at Ten. Slowly, her quivering breathing began to return to normal as she gazed deeply into those dark eyes that now glowed with the intensity of her burning, overwhelming love. Her breath caught and her deep, stormy blue eyes, now almost violet, widened as she beheld the aching beauty of this woman. A wonderful, passionate lover. A woman who had given her so much she felt she could never be grateful enough.

  ‘I will always love you,’ she sobbed into her shoulder, her voice so low and tremulous Ten could barely make out the words. Their sentiment sent thrills of pleasure through her and she clasped Sid more tenderly to her bosom, cherishing her as she would a babe. A warmth of happiness enveloped her; a joy so rare, she too, could have wept with the sharpness of it. Whilst Sid lay dazed and exhausted, Ten held her head between her breasts and caressingly played her fingers through her hair. Then she moved slightly and began to kiss Sid’s tears away.

  ‘Sleep now, my precious, that alarm will ring only too soon,’ Ten crooned soothingly. She reached out to turn off the remaining lamp and settled herself more comfortably about Sid. They drifted off into a dreamless sleep; their bodies languid and replete. Thus passed the lovers’ first night in their new home.

  CHAPTER 15

  Sid rushed in with the freshness of the outdoors surrounding her, waving an envelope and letter in her right hand which she’d obviously just finished reading. ‘It’s arrived.’

  It was Saturday morning and Ten, clad in old jeans and blue checked shirt, was just finishing cleaning up the previous night’s supper things. She tilted her cheek for Sid’s kiss, hands still in dishwater, as Sid circled her waist and gave her a big hug. Her cane was hooked over the edge of the counter, but her left ankle was no longer in a cast. For the past week she had gradually been getting used to a heel-toe gait. It was difficult after so long in the support of a cast, but she was determined to persevere and get her heel down properly. Unfortunately, the tendon attachment to the heel itself was now suffering from severe irritation, necessitating the use of painkillers. Apart from that, she was thrilled to be properly on two feet. She had been warned, coming out of the protection of the plaster wasn’t going to be easy, no matter how eagerly the event had been anticipated.

  Returning from work Sid had gone to check the mailbox before coming in. A cool breeze, gently blowing from the northeast, was giving intimation of rain to come, but for now the sky was a watery blue-grey and scudded with clouds. The season was on the change. Fall was in the air.

  Sid loved this time of year when mornings and evenings were once more cool and refreshing, but the heat of the day preserved the illusion that summer was still with them. The horses too, were different in the fall. The sharp bite to the morning air gave them a zest for running which was unmistakable. When she gave the exercise rider a leg-up, the thoroughbred would kink up its tail and snort like some mythical beast, preparing to meet its foe. Once collected together on the track, the horses would tear off, pounding along the rails to veer round into the straight away, egging each other on in their sheer enjoyment of the chill breeze, carrying with it intriguing smells. In the golden sunlight, their delight in their own speed and agility was a pleasure to the eye.

  A fitful sunshine came and went shyly through the clouds that day, touching the tops of the Maples as if to point out the changing colors of the leaves especially for her notice. As yet, the leaves were still on the branches, although she didn’t mind the chore of raking and sweeping to keep the yard tidy. She did regret, however, that it meant winter would not be long away. Skiing didn’t number amongst her pastimes.

  She dropped the letter on the counter beside the cane then grabbed a Seven-Up from the fridge. Holding up the bottle she cocked an enquiring eyebrow: ‘You?’

  ‘Mm..m, please.’

  While organizing the drinks, she continued to elaborate. ‘My acceptance for Guelph University has come through and my grant application has been approved.’ At the table she sat, the letter in front of her and began reading out bits. ‘First semester begins September 14th. I’m to be there some time next week to settle into the residence and for freshman orientation.’

  Ten dried her hands and joined her. She observed how her face glowed with happiness and excitement. She was looking extremely attractive today, although just wearing her old shorts and a pale lemon cotton shirt, now faded from so many launders. Her hair shone with quicksilver brilliance in the sunlight slanting through the big window and her unblemished skin glowed with a healthy radiance. She looked up as Ten moved over to drop a kiss on the top of her golden head, her hair smelling ‘as fresh as all outdoors’.

  Sid’s delight at the prospect of at last starting on the training for her life’s profession was electric. For so long it had seemed this moment would never come and now … at last, it was here. She passed the official communication over as Ten took her place in the other chair. She read the print rapidly, eyes scanning, heart sinking, mind racing ahead. Not long now and Sid would be moving out of their lovely home. She would be once more on her own. She had enjoyed her solitariness before, but life with Sid had changed all that. How would she cope? Although Sid sat right beside her, she felt a piercing stab at the thought of separation and suddenly, the loss of Sid was like a physical pain, gripping her in a severe demise.

  “This is foolishness,” she chided, “you’re a big girl.”

  Composing herself she returned the letter saying: ‘At last your waiting is over, darling. I had every confidence you’d get in. You have all the requisite marks for your pre-veterinarian courses. And anyway,’ she added, a sparkle of mischief now in her dark eyes: ‘How could they turn down someone as wonderful as you?’ She leaned forward and threw her arms about Sid’s neck, giving her a fervent kiss. The depth of feeling behind this embrace was startling in its intensity.

  ‘Hey, hey. You carry on like that and we won’t get our weekend shopping done.’ She gave her an extra caress and hug, then continued: ‘Else how do we feed our dinner guests?’ She laughed to lighten the mood, having surprised a look of dejection on her lover’s face. She guessed there had been a sudden pang of regret, which she too had felt, at the prospect of living apart. She was doing her best to cover it over with a lightness she didn’t feel.

  These past few weeks had brought Sid more happiness than she could have believed possible. Ten was her perfect mate. She spoke to her heart as no other woman had ever done and was more desirable now than in the beginning, if this could be possible. Yes, it was so. She had learned, under her guidance, not only how to give but, which was more
important to Ten, how to receive. She had learned to let go: to trust completely and to give of herself, but totally. Their bonding had become a fulfilment beyond all earthly imaginings. Now and then a troubling thought had bedevilled her mind such as: This can’t be real. It surely can’t last. Even that horrible insinuation … Will not someone come along to snatch her away?

  She rose and moved next to Ten to rest her cheek on her dark crown, savoring the soft perfume of her. Now she was thinking: “I’m in the grip of a fear that perhaps what we have together is about to be taken from us. Is this the start of the cost for so much bliss? Is it now time to pay our dues? No. No it’s too soon. Much too soon.”

  Ten patted Sid’s arm. ‘I’ll make us lunch,’ she offered. She needed to occupy herself while her mind dealt with the reality that yes indeed, Sid would be leaving her. She went to the kitchen showing very little sign of a limp. She amended her thought: “Not leaving her, just going away to fulfil her goals and to be her own woman.” Continuing her brooding she began to assemble the wherewithal for sandwiches and plugged in the kettle. “This is her right and I have no jurisdiction.” She choked a little on a convulsive swallow: “No right to tie her down; to dampen her happiness.” A muscle twitched nervously in her eyelid as she collected together cheese, tomatoes and mayonnaise. Watching from her vantage point Sid could tell she was caught in introspection, at odds with herself and fighting her emotions. She decided to put the letter away and not talk of Guelph for now. It wouldn’t happen for some days yet.

  Lunch made, the two women sat and worked through the shopping list for dinner. Ten had returned to the store Thursdays and Fridays to help out with late night shoppers. This arrangement worked well; she was earning again and contributing to their finances. In consequence, Sid was feeling more comfortable over maintaining their monthly expenses. About money she was a worrywart.