Zane's Way

by Maggie Casper

  ZANE’S WAY

  An Ellora’s Cave Publication, December 2004

  Ellora’s Cave Publishing, Inc.

  1337 Commerce Drive, #13

  Stow, OH 44224

  ISBN MS Reader (LIT) ISBN # 1-4199-0096-X

  Other available formats (no ISBNs are assigned):

  Adobe (PDF), Rocketbook (RB), Mobipocket (PRC) & HTML

  ZANE’S WAY © 2004 MAGGIE CASPER

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part without permission.

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. They are productions of the authors’ imagination and used fictitiously.

  Edited by Mary Moran.

  Cover art by Syneca.

  Warning:

  The following material contains graphic sexual content meant for mature readers. Zane’s Way has been rated E–rotic by a minimum of three independent reviewers.

  Ellora’s Cave Publishing offers three levels of Romantica™ reading entertainment: S (S-ensuous), E (E-rotic), and X (X-treme).

  S-ensuous love scenes are explicit and leave nothing to the imagination.

  E-rotic love scenes are explicit, leave nothing to the imagination, and are high in volume per the overall word count. In addition, some E-rated titles might contain fantasy material that some readers find objectionable, such as bondage, submission, same sex encounters, forced seductions, and so forth. E-rated titles are the most graphic titles we carry; it is common, for instance, for an author to use words such as “fucking”, “cock”, “pussy”, and such within their work of literature.

  X-treme titles differ from E-rated titles only in plot premise and storyline execution. Unlike E-rated titles, stories designated with the letter X tend to contain controversial subject matter not for the faint of heart.

  ZANE’S WAY

  Maggie Casper

  Prologue

  A grunt of completion filled the air rising above their heavy breaths. Rena fought to bury the feelings of inadequacy as Zane rolled away, his broad shoulders now facing her. Before her heart had time to resume its normal pace, the TV was turned on, its dim light flickering around her, intensifying the feelings tearing at her heart.

  She distractedly smoothed her hand across the sheet trying to absorb its warmth. Her body shivered in response to the loss of heat.

  Her insides mourned the loss. You should feel blessed, her mind scolded. And yet, she didn’t. Being in a long-term relationship should bring a feeling of contentment, but for Serena Keller the only thing it brought, at least when it came to her sex life, was a heavy ache that reminded her daily of what was missing.

  “Zane,” she called softly.

  The only answer from his side of the bed was a grumpy rumble. Not allowing that to dissuade her, Serena asked, “Did I satisfy you? Was it good?”

  “Why do you ask that?” It was obvious he was annoyed, but why? She tried to keep her voice calm when she answered.

  “Just wondered…” she finally said, her voice trailing off.

  “You’re always wondering things, Rena. Just let it be.”

  She didn’t say anything—just lay there, thinking to herself.

  So many times in the past year, she had silently fought with herself. How could she possibly fix the problem? In every other way, her relationship was one to be envied. The fact she lived week after week, month after month through monotonous sex shouldn’t really matter. Right? Wrong! Her body screamed as it craved more. So much more.

  Staring at the ceiling, she thought about the man next to her. His body wide and warm as his arms welcomed her. Why wasn’t it enough?

  So often, she witnessed his hooded eyes following her as she moved about their home. The way they traveled over each inch of her as if remembering every freckle, every crease. Just thinking of it made her shiver. Often she could feel the vibes coming off him in waves. The only way to describe the vibes he bestowed upon her was molten. So hot, she felt as if the areas his gaze raked would be singed.

  There was a sense of unbridled passion lying just below the surface. Although he never ever lost control there had been several times she’d backed down from a heated argument due to a specific look his eyes took when he was close to the edge. The way he narrowed them when mad. Even angry, he kept himself together.

  Serena often wondered what would happen if she gave that extra little push. As a child, her smart mouth and sassy attitude had gotten her into her share of trouble. As an adult, she learned to choose her battles wisely, to control herself. She often wondered if the fierce control she held over herself these days was a protective mechanism. A way to help prevent the past from intruding.

  A hoot made her jump, reminding her she wasn’t alone. The football game blared through the speakers as her body fought its lingering need. Although an assertive woman, Serena often wished she could be more aggressive. She could only remember a handful of times over the past four years that she had initiated sex. Even though she knew her lack of confidence was part of the problem, she just couldn’t bring herself to do it, to initiate intimacy between the two of them. So much had taken place in her youth leaving impressions she longed to forget. She knew she couldn’t because they were so deeply integrated into who she was. A person she hoped to change.

  The tips of her fingers tingled with the need to stroke the tanned skin of his shoulders. To caress him with her hands while her mouth attacked his, her teeth nipping at his full lower lip. Why couldn’t she give in?

  Over the past year, she had begun to look deeply inside herself. To find the things she wanted to change, things that were very hard to admit, even to herself. The fact she wanted to be dominated in the bedroom had come as an utter shock. It had been hard enough to admit it to herself, but how did you go about admitting it to another?

  It was mind-boggling that she would crave the precise thing that had ended her marriage.

  Even during the best of times, the horrible memories came flooding back. Serena ran a shaky hand along her throat, then through the tangles of her hair. She would not think about it.

  Would things be different this time? She wasn’t sure, but even if she thought they would be she just couldn’t bring herself to the point of making her desires known. The though of disappointing Zane scared her. If she admitted her needs, would he think she was twisted? Would he want her less?

  The pessimistic thoughts brought a frown to her face, but in the semi-darkness of the bedroom, there was no one to see it.

  It was as if she were stuck between a rock and a hard spot. If she said nothing, things would never change. Could she go on forever wondering “what if”?

  Her life was simple. Kept busy by a job she loved and a deep fondness for Zane. Those two things kept her comfortable. Of course, that was another part of the problem—she no longer wanted things to merely be comfortable.

  The thought of being a bit uncomfortable, of feeling the generous length of Zane’s shaft as it tunneled with fierce thrusts through her sopping center was what she wanted. It was what her body was all but demanding.

  She needed for Zane to treat her as a woman, a woman whose body was made for loving. Not as a hothouse flower, touching her as if she was delicate glass.

  The fact they had always gotten along well together both in the bedroom and out was comforting, but had there ever been that spark? The one talked about over and over in the erotic romance books she devoured.

  Feelings ran deep, but Serena could not remember a time where they had let loose resulting in hot, sweaty sex.

  How could she forget everything she’d been taught in the past and just go for it?

  Would she be able to explain that more times than not, her sexual fan
tasies consisted of bondage? Sex where she was utterly dominated and brought so much pleasure she thought she would expire from the sheer force of it.

  Could she explain to the man lying next to her that sometimes a woman wanted to be fucked instead of loved? She gave an unladylike snort at the thought. Shaking her head, she brought herself back into the present. There was no way she would ever in a million years be able to tell Zane what she longed for.

  Back to square one and feeling a bit down in the dumps about the whole thing, Serena swung her legs off the edge of the bed and padded silently down the hall. Ice cream would make her feel better. There was nothing like double chocolate chip to solve the sexual problems of women everywhere.

  * * * * *

  Zane O’Malley felt like a man possessed. Watching the gentle sway of Rena’s hips as she walked down the hall brought his semi-erect cock to attention. The curve of her ass as it met the uppermost part of her thighs was one of his favorite parts of her body.

  There was just something about her that had his libido engaged in a constant battle. If that wasn’t the damnedest thing, he didn’t know what was. Over the years of their relationship, he had learned to keep a tight rein on his lustful thoughts. Afraid that if he let loose, she would pull away from him and they would never have a chance to see where their relationship would end up.

  Sometimes it was harder than others, but so far, he’d managed to control himself. Moving halfway across the United States was the only thing that kept the knowledge of his past from Serena. He often wondered what would happen if they ran into an old flame or one of his brothers. How would she take the news that he was not the man she thought him to be? The news that he liked his women submissive and ready.

  He thought of packing up and moving home in order to be closer to his family, but had yet to bring it up in conversation. What would her reaction be if she were to find out just how much he had been holding back over the past four years? Knowing about her past helped keep him in control, but it was getting harder and harder to keep the animal at bay. Something was going to have to give, and soon.

  His feelings for Rena were genuine, he would never intentionally hurt her, but he felt trapped, unfulfilled. Like a caged animal willing to do anything for release. It took every ounce of willpower to let her go every morning when what he really longed to do was to fuck her into oblivion. He often thought of taking her aggressively, or rubbing his cock between the cheeks of her ass before breaching the tight passage.

  The messages drummed into his head throughout childhood kept him from treating her in a way she might find offensive when what he really wanted to do was take her in every position possible while she was bound and blindfolded.

  He would then release his pent-up fantasies by pounding into her tight sheath with every inch of his rock-hard cock. She would cry and beg for it and in the moment her ever-explosive body found its release and satisfaction, she would shudder through one orgasm after another until he was sure she was thoroughly drained.

  At that time, he would come deep within her. Keeping himself buried to the hilt, allowing no separation throughout the night, forcing his length deep every time she tried to move. Keeping her body hostage, at the same time imprisoning his within her.

  Breaking through her controlled exterior was a goal, almost an obsession if the truth were told. If he had his way, there would be no more quiet lovemaking. Tiny moans and muffled gasps were not enough when what he longed to hear were screams. Begging, pleading and pleasure-induced sobs telling of the sweet torture her body could no longer resist.

  Instead, he treated Rena as if she might break. Sometimes he wondered what would happen if he pushed. If instead of giving her the choice, he took her the way his body ached to, hard, deep and fast.

  Would she balk if he insisted she submit to him in every way where sex was concerned? Would she leave if he pressed? So many questions and no damned answers! It was extremely frustrating.

  Every nerve in his body tingled at the thought of his Rena blindfolded, hands cuffed high over head while he worked her over until she could no longer remain the quiet, controlled woman she struggled to be.

  He had taken to doing something, anything as soon as they were finished with sex in order not to push her. From there, things went downhill. It was almost to the point of penciling in a time and date for intercourse.

  To make matters worse, they seemed to only have sex in the dark and never got very inventive when it came to positions or exploring. Boring sex was almost as bad as no sex. Well, not quite, but close.

  A lot of the blame could be pinned on him, he would be the first to admit. They were stuck in a rut and it seemed neither did a thing to change it. He didn’t press and she didn’t offer. It was comfortable.

  He realized a short time ago that they were probably still together because it was easier to stay together than it was to split up. Thinking of it that way grated on his nerves, but it was the truth.

  The thought of having a fling had crossed his mind on many occasions, but as of yet he hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it. Without assessing his feelings for Rena too closely, he just didn’t feel right about it. And yet, his body yearned to feel the power coursing through it as had happened when he’d been a single man bedding a submissive woman.

  The excitement and control was unlike anything else he could think to compare it to. Giving that up for the past four years had turned him into a different man, one he wasn’t sure he liked much. The outgoing Zane O’Malley was gone. He’d been replaced by an uptight, nine-to-five, three-piece suit. It was time some changes were made. He just needed to figure out how to go about doing it without hurting himself or Rena in the process.

  No longer willing to dwell upon an unpredictable future, Zane left the warmth of the comforter covering him and went to see where Rena was.

  He found her standing at the kitchen counter, foot tapping in time to classic rock softly sounding from the speakers. It made him hurt. His body always seemed to go on alert where his sassy lover was concerned. Her pink tongue kept darting out to lick ice cream from a cone. His shaft pulsed with every flick of her tasting tongue.

  He could picture the same pink tongue licking him. With his eyes closed, he could almost feel each lick she bestowed upon the creamy confection.

  If only he could do what his body hungered to do. Only the thought of alienating her stopped him. Instead he did what he knew would keep him on track. He started a conversation having nothing to do with their physical relationship.

  “So, have you heard anything from your new clients?” he asked trying to focus on anything besides the way she lapped at the ice cream cone.

  Serena whirled around, upending her cone in the process. The ice cream fell top down with a splat onto the floor.

  “Sorry,” he said watching as she moved silently back to the counter where she retrieved a wad of paper towels.

  “That’s okay,” she said as she bent to clean the sticky mess. She then leaned over giving him a peck on the cheek. “I have a meeting with the business owners tomorrow, so I won’t know anything until then.”

  He knew Rena loved her job and she was good at it. Making personal and business websites kept her busy and it was a job she could perform from home. “Is it a personal or business website they want to hire you for?” he asked conversationally.

  “I really don’t know,” she said. Nose scrunched, she shook her head. “They were sort of secretive in their e-mail to me. It said they preferred to meet me in person to speak about the details. I don’t even know what type of site I’m being hired to build.”

  Her face remained scrunched up. It was a look he loved. One reminding him of a disgruntled Kewpie doll.

  Zane thought it over for a minute before he cautioned her.

  “Be careful, baby. Don’t go anywhere alone with them.”

  Rena assured him she would be meeting her prospective clients in a public place at lunchtime so there would be nothing to worry about. />
  With that, he gave her a slow gentle kiss just the way he always did before going to bed, then left the kitchen.

  It was quite a while before Rena joined him. Where had she been? What was she doing? He could picture her sitting in front of her computer, staring at the screen with her green eyes glazed in concentration.

  Did she think about their lack of sex or the fact their sex life was as boring as a Mr. Rogers rerun? Probably not, he thought with a half smile.

  If everything his mother had taught him about women was true then Rena more than likely never gave sex more than a passing thought. He wondered how women could be so different. His mother, a true gentle woman warned him of his overbearing bedroom manners after hearing stories of his sexcapades. It probably didn’t help any that he had been caught in the act on one occasion.

  He still grimaced every time he remembered the look on her face at that very moment. To find him plowing the prom queen right there on the living room couch probably hadn’t been the highlight of her life either.

  She had repeatedly scolded him for treating women improperly. So often, she tried to make him believe that any woman who liked the dark, lustier side of sex was deranged. He still laughed at the thought, but felt the need to heed her teachings when it came to Serena Keller. Her slight build and milky-white complexion brought out the protective side of him. Even if it was someone like him she needed to be protected from.

  He watched from beneath lowered lashes as Serena slipped silently into the room and climbed back into bed. Within moments, she was asleep. The deep even breaths coming from the woman beside him were relaxing.

  He snuggled up close behind her, his mind wandering back to a time before Rena. A time when his body insisted on taking what it needed from the women he brought to his bed. He could no longer remember names or even faces—only the explosive coupling remained with him.