The Widow's Choice

by Gilbert, Morris

  “And your boys can come and stay with us while you’re gone.”

  “That would be asking too much.”

  “Not a bit. They’ll have a great time. You know how much our boys like to do things together.”

  “If you could do that, it would make things perfect. I’ve got to go,” he said. “I’ve got to find out about reservations. Thank you so much. I’m going to let you handle all my anniversaries and birthdays from now on.”

  Alona was happy for Hazel as the minister turned and hurried out. She laughed when she saw him break into a run. “Hazel Sandifer, you’re in for a big surprise!” She got into the car, and as she drove home, she thought about her own life. Just a week ago the pastor had said to her, “Your life must be a lot better now, Alona.”

  It’s not better, she thought. We just have more things and plenty of food on the table. She remembered her honeymoon and how from the first moment she had understood that Oscar did not have the gentleness she longed for in a man, and he never would.

  She also thought of the two occasions in the last two weeks when Oscar had suddenly been seized with a sharp pain in his chest. She had immediately moved to call the doctor, but he had grabbed her, saying, “No, just get me one of my pills.” After he had taken it, he had lain still, not moving and his face pale. She had repeatedly urged him to go to the doctor, but he had refused. He seemed to believe that physical ailment was a weakness and it was best to simply ignore it.

  Of one thing she was sure: she could not make Oscar into the kind of man Truman had been. She was trapped in a marriage that had no joy for her, and there was no exit. Pushing those things out of her mind as much as she could, Alona pulled up in front of the house and went in.

  She was putting her purchases on the kitchen counter when Jason came into the room.

  “We’ve got a little problem here, Alona.”

  “What is it? Something wrong with the boys?”

  “In a way.” He was chewing his lower lip as he always did whenever he was upset. “It’s Mrs. Darrow. She made Tim tie Buddy up.”

  “Tie him up! Why, we’ve never needed to tie him up! What’s wrong?”

  “He was in the house and Mrs. Darrow didn’t like it. The boys are pretty upset. She forbade them to untie him.”

  At that moment the housekeeper came in, her face set in an angry cast. “I suppose he’s telling you about the dog.”

  “Yes, he is. What’s this all about, Mrs. Darrow?”

  “The boys brought that dog in, and he tracked muddy footprints all over my kitchen floor. And then Timothy took him into his bedroom. I won’t have that dog in this house.”

  Alona stiffened. She was not argumentative by nature, but this woman had a way of setting her teeth on edge. Mrs. Darrow despised her and her boys and worshiped the first Mrs. Moran. Alona had not been in the house a week before she discovered that despite her best efforts, she and the housekeeper would never get along. Up until now she had simply given in to the woman’s “suggestions,” but now she suddenly understood that if she was ever to have any authority in her own house, she would have to draw a line.

  “The dog will not be tied up, Mrs. Darrow.” The woman stiffened her back and began to respond, but Alona interrupted. “This is my final word. I don’t want to hear anything else about it. Do you understand?”

  Mrs. Darrow glared at her, whirled, and marched out.

  “Good for you! That woman’s a witch,” Jason said, a broad grin on his face. “You’ll need to hold your ground, though when Oscar hears about this. He may take her side.”

  “I hope not, but if he does, we’ll just have to resolve it.”

  “I’m taking the boys out to the river to do some fishing. Would you like to come?”

  “Yes, I would,” Alona said instantly. She was in an unhappy mood, and the very thought of staying in the house and doing battle with Leah Darrow was unappealing. “Let me put on some old clothes.”

  “The boys have been chomping at the bit to go. How about we take Buddy with us?”

  “That’ll be fine.”

  Alona quickly changed into a dress that she’d had for ages and then went downstairs and found the boys ready to go. Buddy was with them in the foyer, hopping up and down with excitement.

  “Let’s go, Mom!” Zac said. “I want to catch a lot of fish.”

  “All right. I wouldn’t mind catching a few myself.”

  “Mrs. Moran!”

  Alona turned to see Mrs. Darrow, who had come into the foyer. “You’re not going out!”

  “Yes I am.”

  “But . . . Mr. and Mrs. Black are coming to dinner!”

  “I know, but we’ll be back in time. Come on, boys.”

  * * *

  Tim sat close to Alona on the grass back a ways from the riverbank, watching Jason as he moved along, throwing out his line, closely followed by Zac and Carl. Tim did not like fishing as much as the other boys did and had gotten his fill of it quickly. Alona cast a glance at him from time to time and noticed that he didn’t look happy.

  “How are things at school, Tim?”

  “Okay.”

  The way he shrugged when he spoke alerted Alona. She put her arm around him and said, “I thought we were friends. Friends tell each other things.”

  Tim turned with a look on his face that made Alona very aware of how different he was from her other two sons. Both Carl and Zac were tough and hearty, loud and outgoing, while Tim was the opposite. “What is it?”

  “I didn’t do well in school this year. My grades are going to be pretty bad.”

  “Well, I’m sure you did your best.”

  He shook his head and watched as the trio laughed about something. Jason picked up Carl and pretended to throw him into the river, and Carl was laughing and protesting loudly.

  “I . . . I wish they had painting classes at school.”

  “If they did, you’d make straight A’s.”

  Tim looked up and watched a flock of birds as they wheeled and turned in the sky. He didn’t speak for a long time. “He’s not going to like it, Mom. He’s already talked to me about my grades.”

  Oscar had insisted on seeing the boys’ old report cards right after the honeymoon. “The boys need to be encouraged, Alona,” he had said. “I’ll see to that.” And in some ways he had been encouraging. He had talked to them each separately, and Zac and Carl had not been upset. But Tim had been.

  “I’m not good with math and science. I think I’m going to fail math.”

  It grieved Alona to see the sadness in her boy’s face. She loved all of her boys, but this one had a special place in her heart. He was more vulnerable than the other two, less able to handle the shocks that life handed young boys as they were growing up. Zac and Carl had a lot of their father in them. Truman had been able to handle anything that came along, but Tim seemed to be less resilient in general.

  Squeezing his shoulders, she said, “Oscar will help you. He’s very good at math.” When he didn’t answer, she said, “Don’t worry about it, son. If we have to, we’ll get a tutor to help you. It’ll be all right.”

  Tim reached down and picked up a small stone and studied it for a moment. Then he threw it into the river as hard as he could. “I don’t think so, Mom.” He got up and walked toward the river but in the opposite direction from the other three. Alona got up to follow him but then realized that it would do little good to speak to him. I’ll have to talk to Oscar about this, she thought. He means well, but he doesn’t know how sensitive Tim is.

  She sat back down as Jason came and sat down next to her. “I don’t think you’re going to catch enough fish to make a meal,” she said.

  “No, but the boys enjoy it.” He looked over at Tim. “What’s wrong with Tim?”

  Alona hesitated but decided she really had no one else to talk to. “He’s not doing well in some of his subjects. Math particularly, and he’s afraid of what Oscar will say.”

  “He’s afraid of Oscar,” Jason said. His li
ps twisted wryly. “So am I.”

  “Not really.”

  “Yes, I guess I really am. I’ve failed him so often, and he’s not an easy man to be around when you’ve disappointed him.”

  “Maybe you can talk to Oscar. Tim’s got a gentle spirit. He needs gentle handling.”

  “Oscar wouldn’t listen to anything I said.”

  The two fell silent, and for a while Alona sat there, occupied with the problem that her marriage had brought her family. She had already seen signs of difficulty with Oscar’s strictness with the boys. He meant well, but he seemed to forget that they were not grown men.

  “I’m worried about Tim. It’s not a good thing to be afraid . . . and he is afraid.”

  “Yes, he is. I wish he weren’t.”

  “I don’t think Oscar’s afraid of anything.”

  “What about you?”

  “I’ve already told you. I’m afraid of flying, and I’m afraid of my brother.”

  Alona’s heart went out to this tall man who had so many gifts and who wasted them all. She reached over and put her hand over his, and he looked up with surprise. “I think you need to work on those things. You have such gifts, Jason.”

  He sat absolutely still for a moment, then he said quietly, “My life might have been different if I’d had someone who believed in me and in what I wanted to do.”

  “Didn’t Oscar encourage you?”

  “No, and I can’t blame him too much. I got off into so many foolish things, and then, of course, I cracked up and lost my nerve. He can’t understand that at all.” He covered her hand with his other hand. “You’ve been very kind to me. I’d about given up on myself.”

  Alona was highly conscious of his hands on hers. “You’ve got a long road ahead of you, Jason. I’m going to be praying that you will get over your fear.”

  Jason pulled his hand from hers. “You’re a sweet woman, Alona. Gentle and tender, and yet at the same time, you’re tough.”

  She sat absolutely still. He was watching her in a peculiar way, and she suddenly felt guilty. She got up quickly and said, “Well, I think it’s time to go home. Mrs. Darrow will have my head if we don’t get back soon.”

  Jason got to his feet too. “It’s good to have you in the house, Alona. I was pretty lonely before, but you and the boys have made a big difference.” Seeing that she was troubled by his remarks, he added quickly, “I’ll get the boys. We’ll get our stuff together and be on the way.”

  “I’ll help you.”

  The two approached Carl and Zac. “All right, boys, we’ve got to go.”

  “Oh, not now, Mom!” Carl protested. “We haven’t caught enough fish.”

  “You can come back some other day. I think you’d better put those fish back in the river. There’s not enough to make a meal.”

  As usual, she had an argument over this with Carl, who would argue with a stump. Finally she leaned over to pick up the pole, but as she moved, her feet hit a wet, slippery spot. She flailed her arms, trying to regain her balance, but it was too late. She slipped over the bank and fell headlong into the river. The water closed over her head, and she came up spitting and sputtering.

  Jason was there at once. He reached for her hand and pulled her ashore. “You all right?” he asked. His eyes were laughing, and Alona was so angry for a moment she couldn’t speak.

  “Gee, mom, you’re all wet,” Zac said.

  “I know I’m all wet. What a mess! Come on. Let’s go.” She headed for the car, feeling like an utter fool. She had no towels in the car, of course, so she simply wrung out her hair as best she could and then got in. When the boys and Jason got in, she dared them to say a word, but Jason, evidently, had spoken to the boys.

  “We’ll get you home as quick as we can, Alona,” he said. “I know you’re uncomfortable.”

  Alona did not speak all the way home, nor did anyone else. They were all aware that she was furious. When they reached the house, Alona turned and saw that Jason was keeping his eyes straight ahead. Then she saw that the boys were staring at her, and it suddenly struck her as ridiculous. She began to laugh and said, “Well, now I know how to get you boys quiet. All I have to do is fall into the river.”

  Immediately the boys started laughing, and Zac said, “You sure look funny, Mom.”

  “I’ll bet I do. Maybe you’d better take me to the back door, Jason.”

  “Might be best, but either way you’re going to make some wet tracks on Mrs. Darrow’s floor.”

  Jason drove around to the back entrance. When the group tromped into the kitchen, Oscar said, “What in the world . . . ?”

  “I fell in the river.” Alona laughed and shook her head. “No damage done.”

  But Oscar was not happy. “Do you know what time it is? The Blacks will be here at any minute.”

  “I’ll go get dressed at once.”

  She left, but she heard Oscar shouting at Jason. “What in the world were you thinking, Jason? Can’t you do anything right?”

  “It wasn’t his fault, Oscar,” Alona said, returning to the kitchen. “I simply slipped and fell in.”

  “If he had any sense at all, he wouldn’t have let you get near the river,” Oscar said. “He’ll never change.”

  Alona’s gaiety flew out the window. “Oscar, look at me.” She waited until he did. “Listen to me. It was not Jason’s fault. It was my fault. There’s no point shouting at him. If you want to shout at anybody, shout at me.”

  Oscar just stared. He started to open his mouth to respond but then evidently changed his mind and left the room.

  Jason leaned over to her and said, “He doesn’t like to be crossed like that.”

  “He had no right to blame you for something that was my fault.”

  “Well, maybe it was partially my fault.”

  “Don’t be foolish,” she said. “I can fall in the river without any help from you.” She saw the boys were watching and made herself smile. “All right. You boys get cleaned up for dinner. Go now.”

  As they hurried off, Alona said, “I guess I’m a little afraid of Oscar myself.”

  “He’s a stern man.” Jason shrugged.

  “We can’t live with fear—any of us—so we’ll have to stick together.”

  “All right. You be the captain, and we’ll all do our best, Captain Alona.”

  As she made her way to the stairs, she passed Mrs. Darrow, who was glaring at her, and managed to say sweetly, “You should have been with us, Mrs. Darrow. We had a lovely time!”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “I’ll Have to Be More Careful”

  Alona managed to get dressed and get the boys ready for dinner by the time the Blacks arrived. The dinner was less than comfortable, however, for Jason was on edge and Oscar was in a bad mood. He made little attempt to include Alona or the boys in the conversation, and she knew he was angry with her. She forced herself to speak cheerfully, and the Blacks didn’t seem to notice Oscar’s foul mood.

  Vernon Black was a tall, distinguished-looking man who owned another large factory in town. Oscar and Vernon belonged to the same businessmen’s club. This was the first time Alona had met the couple, but she found them very pleasant company.

  After dinner was over, Oscar excused the boys while the adults went into the parlor. Alona and Genevieve sipped their coffee while the men talked about the war in Europe. Oscar commented that he was thrilled when he heard about the destruction of the Bismarck, the pride of the German navy. “I hope this teaches those Nazis a lesson,” he spouted. “They’ve lost their best ship. I’m very proud of the British Royal Navy.”

  “I heard that the Bismarck sank England’s battleship the Hood a few days ago,” Vern commented. “That older ship just couldn’t stand up to modern weapons. I think losing that ship really stirred up the British. They couldn’t wait to get a good shot at the Bismarck.”

  “I guess the Bismarck limped around for several days with some damage from the first battle. I’m glad they finally got it.” Osca
r sighed. “I sure wish the war would end.”

  “It won’t end quickly,” Jason said. “Did you hear President Roosevelt speak the other day?”

  “Yes, I heard him. I think he’s overreacting. All we have to do is sit quietly. We don’t want to get involved in another European war.”

  President Roosevelt had stopped just short of declaring war when he spoke to the nation, saying, “An unlimited national emergency exists. The delivery of supplies to Britain is imperative. This can be done. It must be done. And it will be done.”

  “The president is a persuasive man,” Vern asserted. “He’ll declare war if he has to.”

  “Nonsense!” Oscar scoffed. “But even if he does declare war, we’ll be safe here.”

  Alona noticed that Jason gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head, but she knew he wouldn’t challenge Oscar’s views.

  “Perhaps we could talk about something less disturbing,” Alona suggested. “Are your children happy that school is almost over for the year, Genevieve?”

  Alona was grateful that the men willingly let her guide the discussion away from politics. When the Blacks left and the boys and Jason had gone to bed, she and Oscar were left alone in the parlor. Alona was doing some hand sewing, and Oscar was reading the newspaper. She had wanted to go to bed, but she knew she had to prepare Oscar for Tim’s bad grades. It was something she dreaded, but it had to be done. “Oscar,” she said. “I need to talk with you.”

  He lowered the paper. “About what?”

  “About Tim. His grades are going to be low in math and maybe in science.”

  “I was afraid of that. The boy needs to apply himself. He can do much better.”

  “I’m not sure that he can.”

  “Of course he can,” Oscar declared. “It’s just a matter of discipline.”

  “Some people have better minds for that sort of thing. Tim does better in artistic matters.”

  “You can’t make a living in artistic matters.” He peered over the top of his glasses at her. “Are you telling me he’s going to fail these classes?”