[Gotrek & Felix 10] - Elfslayer

by Nathan Long - (ebook by Undead)

  Felix pursed his lips, Euler’s sanctimonious tone grating on him. It appeared his first impression of the man had been incorrect. He was a pirate after all. “I see.”

  The two giants retreated to either side of the fireplace and remained there in attendance.

  “But all this is beside the point, since you are here,” said Euler, smiling. “Have you brought the documents? Have you decided the value of the shares?”

  Felix coughed, cursing his father for putting him in such a situation. He hated this sort of venal confrontation. His brother Otto would have been much better suited for the job. He would have known exactly the sort of veiled threats to use. “Herr Euler. You misunderstand the purpose of my visit. I have not come to sell you any part of my father’s company. I have come to get the letter back.”

  Euler’s smile disappeared as if it had never been. He shot a look at the safe on the table behind his desk, then put down his jam tart in a cold sort of way.

  Felix pushed on. “Before you say anything, I should tell you that my father has authorised me to offer you a very generous price for the letter.”

  Euler barked a laugh. “What is a one-time payment compared to the continual revenue that owning part of the company will bring me? No thank you, Herr Jaeger. There is only one way that your father may resolve this difficulty, and that is my way. He has seventeen days left. Until he is prepared to sell, we have nothing further to discuss. You may go.”

  Felix sighed. It was at this point in the proceedings that his father undoubtedly expected him to start smashing things up until Euler gave him the letter, but he really didn’t have the heart for it. The man was vile, but no more vile than his father, and Felix had never bullied anyone for anything in his life. He wasn’t a robber, and that’s what he felt like here. It was embarrassing. If only he had some other kind of leverage. If only he could play the same sort of trick on Euler that Euler had played on his father.

  Felix paused. Well, why couldn’t he? “I am sorry to hear you say it, Herr Euler,” he said at last. “For I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to resort to blackmail of my own.”

  “What nonsense is this?” asked Euler.

  Felix swallowed, and plunged in. “Well, correspondence goes both ways. My father also has a letter from your father, in which he admits engaging in the same activities as my father did, and also, that he introduced you to the business as well.”

  “What activities does he mean?” cried Euler.

  Felix had no idea. “It’s best not to name them aloud, don’t you think?” he said. “Even after so many years.” He smiled at Euler with what he hoped looked like malevolent guile. “My father wishes to assure you that, if you drag him down, you will find yourself drowning in the same sewer—and you have much more life to lose than he. But, if you are prepared to give up your letter, he is prepared to give up his. We can make an exchange, and conclude the matter peacefully.”

  Euler’s eyes blazed. He stroked his round chin with chubby fingers. “The cunning old goat. I believe he would be willing to die in shame and poverty just so that he could see me ruined as well.” A sudden thought seemed to come to him. He looked at his hulking serving men, then back to Felix. “Have you this letter here?”

  Felix’s eyes widened. It hadn’t occurred to him that Euler would resort to violence. Despite the size of his servants, he was still a respectable man on a respectable street. He wasn’t going to try anything in his own home, was he?

  “Er, not on me,” said Felix. “I left it at the inn, thinking you would be reasonable and I wouldn’t need it. If it must come to this, I will go and fetch it.”

  Euler smiled. “No need to trouble yourself. I will have a servant fetch it while you wait here.”

  Felix shot a look at Gotrek. He still didn’t appear to be paying attention. Couldn’t he feel the tension thickening the air? “It is no trouble, Herr Euler,” he said, standing. “We will return in an hour, shall we say?”

  “I’m sorry, Herr Jaeger,” said Euler, standing as well. “I must insist that you stay” He gave a nod to the two massive footmen and they began to cross to the door.

  Felix grunted, angry now. He was about to get into a fight over something he hadn’t wanted anything to do with from the beginning. Damn Euler and damn his father both. “You will regret holding us against our will, mein herr,” he said. “My companion is not to be trifled with lightly.”

  Euler looked at Gotrek, and Felix followed his gaze. The Slayer was a sight to instil fear and respect, his massive frame and corded muscles completely eclipsing the tiny chair he sat in, and his fearsome crest and swirling tattoos exuding exotic menace. Of course, he would have been more impressive still had he not chosen that moment to open his mouth and snore like a chain rattling through a pulley.

  Euler laughed. “Terrifying.” He turned away from him, waving a hand at the footmen. “Take them to the cellar.”

  The brutes stepped forwards. Felix nudged Gotrek with his elbow. The Slayer mumbled under his breath, but didn’t wake. “You will force me to release the letter, Herr Euler,” he said, nudging Gotrek harder.

  Euler snorted. “How can you release what you no longer have?”

  The footmen loomed closer.

  “Now then, sir,” said the one on the left, whose right ear was missing. “Come quietly and we won’t have to break anything.”

  “Gotrek!” barked Felix, and jabbed the Slayer in the shoulder with his elbow.

  The Slayer woke with a start, instinctively grabbing for his axe. The sudden motion was too much for his delicate chair. It snapped in a dozen places and Gotrek thumped to the floor in a splay of spindly kindling.

  “Vandalism!” shouted Euler. “Your father will get a bill for that!”

  Gotrek was up in an instant, fists balled and turning his head from side to side like a sleepy bear. “Who pushed me off my seat?” he growled.

  “They did!” said Felix, backing up and pointing at the looming footmen.

  Gotrek turned towards them, glaring and blinking.

  “Come along, tipsy” said the one on the right, who had an oft-broken nose. “Sleep it off in the nice dark cellar, eh?” He put an enormous hand on Gotrek’s shoulder.

  Gotrek swung his cast and re-broke the man’s nose. The footman staggered back, howling and clutching his face, and fell backwards over the low table, smashing it to flinders.

  “Here, now!” said One-Ear, swinging at Gotrek.

  The punch snapped Gotrek’s head around, but only seemed to make him mad. He growled and doubled the footman up with a fist to the guts, then shoved him back into a side table. It exploded under his weight.

  “Pillagers!” cried Euler. “Guiot! Call Uwe and the others! Call the Black Caps! Hurry!”

  The Bretonnian butler bowed and turned for the door. Felix ran for him. The last thing they needed was the watch showing up. Euler leapt in his path, twisting the head of his cane and drawing forth a slim blade.

  “No, Herr Jaeger,” he said, levelling the sword-cane at Felix’s chest.

  Felix stepped back, then cuffed an Estalian vase off a table, right at Euler’s face. When he raised his sword to block it, Felix dived forwards and tackled him to the ground, pinning his sword arm with a knee and punching him in the face. The merchant bucked and twisted under him, surprisingly strong.

  “Harald! Jochen!” Euler called, struggling to get his sword free.

  But the two footmen were otherwise engaged. Out of the corner of his eye, Felix could see that Broken-Nose was up again, blood streaming down his face, swinging the remains of the low table at Gotrek. Beyond him, One-Ear was holding his stomach and puking all over a set of marble chessmen.

  “Gotrek,” Felix shouted, elbowing Euler in the eye. “Forget them! Get the safe! Open it!” If Euler was going to stoop to outright villainy, Felix had no more compunctions about robbing him.

  Gotrek headbutted Broken-Nose on the broken nose and pushed him aside. He turned and looked at the safe as the big m
an slumped peacefully to the floor behind him. “There’s no cracking that,” the Slayer said, frowning. “It’s dwarf work. You’ll need a key.”

  Euler wrenched his sword hand free of Felix’s knee, but Felix caught it again and slammed it against the ground. Euler lost his grip and the blade bounced across the carpet. As he stretched for it, Felix saw a ring of keys on the belt at his waist. He ripped them free and tossed them to Gotrek.

  “Try these!”

  Gotrek caught the key ring, but as he started around the desk towards the safe, there was a thunder of boots from the passage and a flood of large bodies burst into the room.

  Gotrek and Felix turned towards them. There were six of them, all dressed in the same beribboned footmen’s uniforms that Harald and Jochen wore, and all apparently born of the same breed as well—huge, lumbering bashers with lantern jaws and scarred scalps, all armed with clubs and cudgels. One had a hook for a hand. Guiot peered nervously into the room behind them.

  “Take yer hands off the captain,” said one with a milky left eye.

  That wasn’t necessary, for, distracted by their entrance, Felix had let his grip slip, and Euler crashed a fist into his jaw with a hard-knuckled hand. Felix swayed back, and Euler pushed him off, shouting at his men.

  “Get them! Hold them! Keep them away from the safe!”

  The six footmen waded forwards, pushing the broken furniture out of the way. Gotrek reached over his shoulder for his axe.

  “Not the axe,” gasped Felix from the floor. “No murder, Gotrek, please.”

  The Slayer snarled like a thwarted badger, then lowered his hand, roared a wordless challenge at the approaching men and charged, swinging his fist and his cast with equal abandon. He disappeared in a storm of flailing, velvet-clad limbs.

  Felix shook his head, trying to reseat his jaw, and pulled himself to his feet. Euler beat him to it. He scooped up his sword-cane and turned on him, raising the blade. The eye Felix had elbowed was purpling rapidly.

  “I believe I’ve changed my mind,” he said, smiling through bloody lips. “Perhaps the watch should find you dead when they arrive. A man must defend his home, mustn’t he?”

  Euler lunged, extending his arm with the grace of an Estalian diestro. Felix dived aside, alarmed. For all his padding and his bland burgher’s clothes the man had been well trained in the sword. Felix rolled up and ran for the door, passing the scrum in the middle of the floor. Two of the big men were down, one with an arm bent at a sickening angle, but the rest continued to rain blows upon the squat struggling figure in their midst. Guiot, the butler, stood wide-eyed in the door, then dived sensibly out of the way.

  Felix barrelled down the stairs, slipping once on the well-worn treads and nearly falling head first. He heard Euler pounding down right behind him.

  At the bottom, he charged across the foyer for the cupboard next to the front door. As he threw it open, Euler careened out after him, cane sword extended in a fencer’s lunge.

  Felix snatched up his scabbard and leapt away as Euler’s blade impaled the cupboard door. He ran for the back parlour, drawing as he went. Euler lurched after him.

  The room was darker than Euler’s office, and filled with sturdy, more liveable furniture. The ceiling was low and ribbed with heavy, widely spaced beams. Felix cracked his head on one as he vaulted a long red brocade couch. He turned to face Euler, his rune sword held out with one hand while he rubbed vigorously at a lump like half an onion that was forming on the crown of his skull with the other. His eyes were tearing.

  Euler edged around the couch, sword high, shaking his head and unbuttoning his doublet so that he had more mobility. “Poorly played, Herr Jaeger.” Felix could barely hear him over the thuds and bangs and crashes coming from the fight upstairs. The ceiling vibrated with them. “Had you left the letter in Altdorf 1 would have been checkmated—a threat I couldn’t reach. Your father would never have made such a mistake.”

  “You sound like you admire him,” said Felix.

  “I do,” said Euler. “He plays the game very well.” He sneered. “But this time he has picked a very poor pawn.”

  Euler lunged, extending his sword-cane with blurring swiftness. Felix blocked it, but the lighter blade came at him again instantly. He jumped back, wishing for more space to swing his bigger sword. Euler had him at a disadvantage in the low room.

  Then a horrendous thump and chorus of wild shouts from above made Felix look up. Euler’s blade snaked for his throat. Felix back-pedalled furiously Unfortunately there was a footstool behind him and he toppled backwards over it, slamming his breath out as his back hit the fine Estalian carpet.

  Euler stepped over him, white flakes of plaster floating down around him from the ceiling. “I will send your body back to your father,” said Euler, shouting to be heard over the rumpus coming from above, “as a token of my admiration.”

  Felix struggled to get his limbs to respond as Euler put his sword-cane to his throat. Then, suddenly, the shouts from above became screams, and there was a horrendous crashing from the stairs.

  Euler and Felix looked towards the noise and saw a large square object bounce down out of the stairwell in a shower of wood, plaster and dust, and hit the entryway floor with an impact that shook the house. It was quickly followed by a rain of flying footmen, all spinning down and slapping loosely on the floor around it.

  “My safe,” said Euler, blinking.

  After the footmen tumbled Gotrek, landing shoulders first on a heaving velvet-clad stomach. He staggered up and shook his fist up the stairwell. “Come down here, you cowards!” He was bleeding freely from the back of his skull.

  Felix took advantage of Euler’s distraction to roll out from under the point of his sword and stand.

  Euler was beside himself. “My floor!” he cried. “My panelling! Manann’s scales, the expense!” He turned on Felix, eyes blazing. “I’ll send your corpse back to your father with a bill for damages!”

  He thrust at Felix with his cane-sword and Felix blocked and kicked the footstool at him.

  “Gotrek!” he called. “Here!”

  The Slayer swung around and started towards him. One of the fallen men tried to rise, lifting a dagger at him. Gotrek backhanded his face with his cast and kept walking. The strike sounded like a pistol shot, and Felix thought for a moment that he had shattered the man’s skull. But it was the cast that had split, a zigzag crack that ran the length of the thing. With a grunt of satisfaction Gotrek tore it off and flexed and shook out his arm.

  “About time,” he growled, stepping into the back parlour and starting around the red brocade couch towards Euler. The merchant danced back, trying to keep both Felix and Gotrek in front of him. Just then, there was a rumble of boots from the spiral stair and two men ran into the room, then skidded to a stop behind the couch when they saw Gotrek.

  “Sigmar’s hammer, he lives!” said the one on the left, who held a blood-spattered fireplace poker.

  Gotrek growled in his throat and beckoned them forwards. “Try that again,” he rasped. “I dare you.”

  “Kill them!” screeched Euler, backing behind an elegant Tilean harpsichord.

  “I’m not going near him,” said the one with the poker. “He’s mad!”

  “He threw the safe at Uwe!” said the other, who was none other than One-Ear, still on his feet and now carrying a sailor’s cutlass.

  “Kill them or all your back pay is forfeit!” Euler shouted.

  Felix stepped beside Gotrek as the two towering footmen eyed them warily.

  “Can I use my axe now?” rumbled Gotrek.

  “Now would be a good time, yes,” said Felix.

  “Good,” said the Slayer, and drew it off his back.

  One-Ear leaned towards his companion and said something out of the side of his mouth that Felix couldn’t hear.

  “What are you waiting for?” called Euler.

  Then, before Felix could understand what they meant to do, the two giants threw aside their weapons, p
icked up the massive couch as if it weighed nothing, and charged Gotrek and Felix with it.

  Felix stumbled back, surprised. But Gotrek roared and hacked at the brocade barrier with his axe as it raced towards them. The rune weapon bit deep, smashing through the wooden frame and the horsehair depths of the upholstery, but not deep enough.

  The couch hit Felix and the Slayer amidships and drove them back towards the rear wall of the house. They tried to push back, but it was no use, the loose carpet under their boots slid across the polished floorboards and gave them no purchase. Felix’s heels hit the baseboard and then, with an enormous explosion of diamond-paned glass, he and Gotrek flew backwards out of the window, trailing velvet curtains and a few red brocade couch cushions.

  There was a frozen moment when Felix took in the beauty of the flying shards of glass glittering in the afternoon sun, the intricacy of the decorative brickwork on Euler’s back wall, and the fluffy white clouds above it all, then the canal smacked him in the back and the water closed over his head in a freezing, silty rush.

  The shock of it drove sense from his head for a moment, then he was kicking back to the surface, fighting the heavy pull of his saturated clothes. He broke the surface, gasping and kicking to stay afloat, and saw Gotrek to his left, his crest plastered down over his good eye, shaking his axe over his head.

  “Craven humans!” he roared as he and Felix were drawn down the canal by the slow current. “A couch is a coward’s weapon!”

  Felix looked up. From the shattered window, Euler was shouting back, his two remaining footmen at his sides, glaring murder down at them.

  “This vandalism will cost you, Jaeger!” he cried. “I will no longer settle for half of Jaeger and Sons! I will have it all!”

  Gotrek returned his axe to his shoulder and struck for the side of the canal. “Come on, manling, let’s finish these furniture-throwers.”