Poisonous Desires

by Selena Illyria

  Nadia had tried to get him to delete it but hadn’t put up too much of a fight. In retaliation she’d taken his photo, and he’d let her. That small gesture hadn’t given him hope that she wanted a memento, something to remember him by. Maybe she wanted something more but was too shy to say so, which he doubted. He sighed; that made no sense. His stomach growled; hunger pushed at his emotional blockage and reminded him of lunch and that he was sitting in his car like an idiot. He got out of his car and headed into the restaurant. He decided to once again e-mail her and ask her if she would be willing to meet him before he left Draven’s Crossing. His vacation would be up by the time the Werewolf Summit was over. Then it was back to the grind of spook work. He couldn’t focus on her now; he had to watch the Summit and report back to Torger, and that was that. Easy as pie. He entered the restaurant and grabbed a table. The waiter came up to him, and he placed his order. Urban shoved his emotional toil down deep and drew down his mask of normalcy.

  He didn’t want to admit it, but as much as he loved staying with his brother, he hated that he didn’t have his own space and bed. There were other drawbacks as well; he couldn’t use Torger’s kitchen with his brother growling at him to put things back the way he’d found them. Both of them could eat their weight and then some in food, and he cringed to think about the food bills that they were both racking up. He also felt the grind of fast food taking its toll on his body. He moved slower and felt more tired than usual. His mind was sluggish, and he was drinking far too much coffee and beer for his liking.

  “Great, now I’m going to move here,” he mumbled.

  Urban liked Draven’s Crossing, but he wasn’t sure that he wanted to make it his home base when he had a place in Virginia. Two homes would be too much, and he couldn’t afford it on his salary. Not unless he quit and went into the private sector, and he didn’t want to do that yet. He wanted to make it to retirement age. Fuck, I’m truly fucked. His mind wandered. He was avoiding the real issue: making sure the werewolves behaved themselves toward Nadia. It wasn’t too hard so long as insults weren’t traded and the women were on their best behavior, especially with all the young available unmated male werewolves about. Hormones. Not to mention his own frustration. Urban ran a hand over his face. Yup, I’m fucked.

  Chapter Two

  Several tiring hours later, Nadia arrived in Draven’s Crossing worn out and ready to hit the hay. She headed straight for her condo to take a shower and wash the grime of travel off her weary body, put on her PJs, and crawl into her queen-sized Sleep Number bed. A night of deep sleep would do wonders. With her guard down and her body bone weary, she wanted nothing more than to crawl into Urban’s arms and fall asleep feeling safe and wanted. She couldn’t do that, especially when she didn’t know where he was. Nor did she want to depend on him for that sensation of security. It unnerved her that thoughts like that kept popping up with more frequency over the past few weeks. Yet she couldn’t stop those notions if she tried. No matter how hard she pushed them away, they kept coming back. Rather than fight it, she accepted it, but didn’t act on the urge to call, e-mail, or text him. Have to focus, she ordered herself as she checked the windows on the first floor.

  She made her way through the loft area as she went over the facts that Zerik had given her. It wasn’t much to go on, but she’d worked on less. Someone had been coming into Draven’s Crossing on the weekends, selling Katnip. Victims ended up in the hospital on Monday morning in batches of two or three at the max. The DCPD had been notified, but so far they hadn’t acted or investigated as far as Zerik knew; just one more reason to send someone to take care of it in-house rather than distract Torger with a nonpolitical problem or emergency. Besides, the DCPD could control how to handle the perps, whoever they were. Zerik suspected there were at least two people involved in the operation. One person acting alone didn’t sound right. Zerik didn’t know how the drug was administered, and the families of the victims all said the same thing: “They weren’t drug takers, unless it was prescribed by a doctor or it was aspirin.”

  The police wouldn’t have believed the victims, but only about five percent of the feline-shifter population in the USA had some sort of substance abuse problem. The drugs of choice mostly dealt with antidepressants, with only one percent going for the hard stuff such as morphine, heroin, or opium. Zerik had been slowly dealing with the drug problem by attacking it directly: cleaning out neighborhoods, moving jobs into the area, paying for health care until the families and victims could pay for it themselves, and making sure that local politicians actually tried to make inroads with the feline communities. In Nadia’s opinion it wasn’t enough, but it worked. For now.

  There was no feline community liaison in Draven’s Crossing, and they hadn’t asked for one. If she stayed, she’d consider making an appointment with Draven to apply for or create the position herself. It would be a headache, but traveling around the world had begun to get old. She wanted stability, to create a home. Nadia had a condo and knew the area well, but not the people. She had no clue who her neighbors were except for their names, relationship status, and whether they had security systems in their houses. There was a security booth to get past and a guard that would patrol the streets to make sure no trouble was on the prowl. It made her feel better, but not completely at ease. This whole area was a part of feline territory. Some werewolves did live in the condos, but they mostly kept to themselves.

  She could see Urban living in the area. It was quiet enough to feel safe and comfortable but had enough cafes, movie theaters, and restaurants to allow for date nights. Nadia paused in perusing security footage. Urban move in with her? Live with her? She gave herself a mental shake. That was going too far. For all she knew, he didn’t want to live in Draven’s Crossing. Stop it. She forced her thoughts away and returned back to her mission. She didn’t want to call Isy right away. Shower and laundry first, then dinner and connecting with Isy. Once she reviewed the security footage, she got up and repeated the walkthrough process to make sure.

  It was a habit she’d gotten into since the night she’d left Little Creek, Asswipe Nowhere, USA. So long as her father couldn’t find her, it was all good, and she doubted that he’d want to go looking for her. Zerik had made it very clear what would happen if Ephram did stray away from his home. There was still the issue of Milena. She wanted Milena to move in with her, but getting her sister to do anything was like herding cats, literally. She’d make a plan, change it at the last minute, or agree to something but then change the day she was doing it, or she’d flake out completely. Nadia wasn’t sure what to think of it all. She had to call her sister and check in, maybe get her to Draven’s Crossing and convince her to stay. There was one thing that the town had going for it: lots of eligible bachelors. There was still the overdose incident that needed to be discussed, but Nadia avoided that subject like a kid and cherry cough syrup. Milly had escaped their father with drugs and alcohol, but that wouldn’t help their mutual problems.

  If Nadia believed in any gods, she’d have razed them to the ground for her family problems. Instead, she channeled her anger through her way of living: as a courier for the Feline Quorum and various other organizations that wanted to make life better for all paranormals in general. Some of her assignments weren’t legal and required her to enter places without an invitation, and sometimes she’d have to gain an advantage with photos or recordings. Sometimes she had to steal things, and that led to a huge mess. In the end, it was her life. She’d chosen to work for Zerik, and it had perks, like a new life, enough money to buy herself an island and never have to work again, and the protection of never having to deal with her father again. Her sister was another matter. Maybe I can convince Zerik to hire her. The US branch of the Feline Quorum always needed new hires. She needed to talk to Zerik about that. There might be a place in Draven’s Crossing for the F.Q.

  She couldn’t think about that at the moment; maybe later once everything was tied up. Nadia had a whole new problem: giving I
sy an excuse that was believable and closer to the truth. The last thing she and the Feline Quorum needed was for a reporter’s instincts to be aroused and have Isy go poking around. Goddess knew that Isy could be too nosy for her own good. Despite their friendship, Zerik wouldn’t hesitate to take care of a problem as he saw fit. Nadia wanted to protect what few people she’d let into her life, and that included Urban. Once her security check routine was complete she headed to her shower, turned it on, got undressed, and stepped inside. The hot water hit all the right places, loosening muscles and allowing her to breathe easy and relax. She allowed her thoughts to float free, even though they all went to the same place: Urban. She wished that she didn’t have this distraction, but knew that she’d have to work it out on her own until she saw him again. Rather than think about that, she thought of all she’d missed while trapped in Zerik’s Dungeon of Unlove.

  It was too bad that Nadia missed the action with the serial killer. She would’ve loved to have been in the thick of things; it would’ve been a wonderful distraction, and it would’ve gotten her home sooner. It was also too bad she’d lied to Isy when she’d called. Nadia told Isy that she’d had some sort of drunken ménage, when in reality she’d knocked out several security goons to get some dirty pictures back for a high-ranking Feline Quorum member. That had earned her five figures and a debt that she intended to call in in the future. All of that led to her missing out on helping Isy, making brownie points with Torger, and getting the scoop on Isy’s relationship with the alpha werewolf.

  Nadia needed to send Isy a gift basket or some kind of expensive gift both as an apology and a bribe for gossip. It wouldn’t make up for not being able to help Isy, but at least she was here now. And maybe Isy could help her with the Katnip issue. Maybe. With the Council race, Evanson’s death, and the Werewolf Summit, the news station must be in frantics right now. No time to talk about real issues like a possible drug problem in Draven’s Crossing’s feline-shifter community, as it should be, at least in this case, until they could nip the problem in the bud before it became an epidemic.

  This assignment was a lot better than the last few she’d gotten. Zerik had had her running around picking things up and dropping things off, not that exciting. She suspected that it had something to do with the new laws the Council had been trying to press upon feline-shifters. The feline community had wanted to be treated as equal to werewolves. Feline-shifters lacked some of the basic fundamental rights that werewolves had. Since the public had more familiarity with werewolves they gave them more leeway, more freedom. Feline-shifters were given a wide berth, labeled as dangerous and unstable, and were often frisked and arrested for doing nothing more than standing on a corner. Zerik was doing everything in his power to try to change that perception. Whether he was winning was based on the deals he managed to make, not on public perception.

  How police identified a feline-shifter was still a mystery; they had no outer markings that indicated shifter status and looked very much normal in human form, but more of her kind were in the system than werewolves. Throw Katnip into the mix, and things could get dangerous. The drug was something new. It had been on the market for over five years. For humans, it had been originally used as a way to soothe patients who suffered from stress-related issues. How it had landed into the hands of the feline-shifters, no one knew, but she’d seen the fallout firsthand. Her sister Milena had ended up in rehab, but not before she’d almost died after taking a small dose. Milly was allergic to gluten; the drug had been cut with flour. Now she had her chance to stop more people from dying. Nadia needed to check in on her little sister. This case was already starting to rip at the seams of the carefully constructed walls around Nadia’s emotions and life.

  She felt buried anger and helplessness welling up in her psychic and emotional wounds. Phantom pain shadowed her body in pangs and echoes of past trips to the hospital. Her eyes burned with unshed tears. Nadia refused to cry over what her father had done. The one thing her childhood had going for it was that her cat pard had tried to interfere time and again and protect Nadia and her sister, but her mother refused their offers of sanctuary and seeing how Ephram had been head of the pard, it put them all in a difficult position, but Zerik had made sure that Ephram’s power was limited in what he could and could not do. And soon the pard would be choosing a new leader, thankfully. Her family and the pard had suffered enough under his rule.

  She sucked in a deep breath and exhaled. Nadia could feel the pressure building up inside of her again. Nadia couldn’t indulge a sexual outlet, the physical release she needed, or a way to ground herself. There didn’t seem to be any time for it. She needed to get in and out of Draven’s Crossing without riling Torger. Her gut clenched in need, and her sex heated. Not now. With a frustrated growl, she tried to scrub away the desire. It didn’t help; the sensations wound around her body like rope.

  Urban. His name ghosted through her mind. She ignored it and continued to run the loofah over her breasts. Her nipples were already hardened nubs, with each brush sparks were set off that traveled straight to her womb. No, she resisted the urge to relieve the pulsing need between her thighs. Tingles raced along her inner thighs, the base of her back, and along her labia. Nadia whimpered as tears of frustration combined with the heaviness in her chest.

  Urban. Again his name whispered through her mind. Checking on him would be a distraction that she couldn’t afford right now. Zerik didn’t know about Urban; at least she hoped he didn’t. Just thinking about Zerik finding out about Urban threw some cold water on her. All desire but also all emotional turmoil fizzled to nothing. Her body wasn’t her own; fatigue had her worn down and opened her to attack. Being locked up for at least two weeks had taken its toll on her mind and body.

  All subjects involving her father, her past, or Urban needed to be avoided until she was done with her assignment here. Nadia finished her shower and put in a call to the cleaning service after a third quick and thorough sweep. Paranoia was her friend with enemies like hers and Zerik’s. Nothing was found, and none of her traps were sprung. Her bed called to her as she dried off and moisturized her body without really paying much attention to what she did. In a deviation from Urban and her family issues, her brain coughed up the words Werewolf Summit. The airport had been lined with flyers welcoming the alphas to the city. She prayed that she wouldn’t encounter Torger. It wasn’t her arrest record and his dislike of her that she worried over, it was the possibility that he’d interfere and she’d have to call in backup.

  He’d feel territorial about this case; he was a werewolf, after all. Draven’s Crossing was his town and during the Summit, he would feel especially threatened by a scandal. He would see it as an affront to his ability to be Alpha of Packs and the Chief of the DCPD in general. Nadia could see where Urban got some of his dominating tendencies. She ran a hand over her face. Again, Urban popped into her thoughts. He was becoming a distraction that she couldn’t deal with. Rather than think about her lover, she dialed Isy. Maybe a night out with a friend could help her and shake off some of the fatigue and ground her in the happenings in Draven’s Crossing. Maybe Isy could tell her something she wouldn’t read in the blog or newspaper. Plus, maybe some chocolate therapy was in order. Her stomach rumbled in agreement.

  “Nads, there you are.” Surprise and happiness filled Isy’s voice. “What happened to you?”

  “Some emergency work came up. Can we meet for drinks or chocolate? You can tell me what I missed.” Maybe she could get the lowdown on Katnip. Isy didn’t handle that end of the news spectrum, but she could’ve heard something.

  “Sure, I need some girls-out time. Torger is busy tonight, and I need a break from werewolf mania over here. Meet you at Mab’s, say sixish?”

  Nadia could hear people in the background. “Okay, six it is.”

  She couldn’t help but feel pleased; it was in the heart of the feline-shifter district. Perfect, she could put out feelers and check in with contacts later. Nadia rifled through her
closet and chose her outfit. As she got dressed in a tight little strapless red dress and strappy black heels, she thought of Urban. Would he like this outfit? Undoubtedly. Would she be willing to go out with him to club? No. She would want to take him to dinner, but that was out of the question. Ties made you weak, opened you up to getting hit with surprise.

  Zerik would use him against her if she ever got out of line. Casual was perfect. Besides, relationships were for normal people. She and Urban were anything but. Stop thinking about him, she ordered herself as she headed to the door. No purse needed. She slipped money into her cleavage, and she had a key hidden that would let her back in. Unlike other cities, there were phone booths on practically every corner, and a person didn’t need money to dial 911 or the operator. It was a peculiarity that Draven’s Crossing liked to keep alive.

  She took a cab to Mab’s rather than drive. It would be much easier getting home and much safer for everyone since her ability to pay attention had dropped at least twenty-five percent. That was dangerous for her and those around her. She needed to be alert, and right now that wasn’t a possibility with jetlag tugging at her energy stores.

  The club was packed with mostly feline-shifters. There were a few werewolf females, all older than thirty, dancing, drinking, and flirting with the young feline-shifters. She didn’t know if she’d missed something while she was away in Europe, but this could cause trouble with the current werewolf alphas who liked to keep their women in line and away from available shifters who could compete. She needed to talk to the feline-shifter leaders about this possible issue. As a courier for Zerik she could speak with his voice, a perk when she was treated like a young kit. She loved being able to saunter into a territory and order normally arrogant felines to cooperate, or else she’d call Zerik. With a smile, she waded into the press of sweaty, horny people and went to the bar.