All Bets Are Off

by Marguerite Labbe

  “Don’t think I won’t kick your ass just because you’re in the hospital.”

  Kurtis snorted, his eyes brightening in challenge. “Don’t think I still can’t take you because I’ve got a fucked-up leg.”

  Ash came through the hotel room door and slumped against it, weariness etched across his face. It made Eli ache to see that stoic mask drop. The last couple days had been rough on Ash, and he hoped that Mike’s funeral this morning had brought his lover some closure.

  “What time are you going to go visit Kurtis?” Eli asked as he shrugged out of his coat and tossed it over the back of a chair.

  “Not for several hours. He’s got physical therapy and he usually needs some time to himself afterward.”

  Eli brushed his fingers over the medals on Ash’s chest. The midnight-blue coat stretched across his broad shoulders and was cut to fit his chest. The belt emphasized his trim waist. As good as the man looked in his dress uniform, he’d be more comfortable with it off. “Come on, Georgia, I think you need a little R & R.”

  A tired smile flickered over Ash’s lips. “You know, ever since I’ve met you, you’ve been tending to me.”

  “I think you’re imagining things.” Eli took Ash’s hand and drew him through their suite.

  “So you’re not the one who gave me a massage that first night? Or threw me into the shower when you found me dead drunk and poured me into bed afterward?”

  “Maybe you have a point,” Eli said as Ash began to get undressed, hanging up his uniform as he went. “I think a repeat of both is in order.” He slipped his arm around Ash’s waist and kissed his shoulder as Ash leaned back against him. “A hot shower followed by a massage.”

  And a long nap. Ash hadn’t been sleeping very well, and they both had to be back home and at school before they knew it. He did not want Ash going back exhausted and stressed, not with finals coming up.

  “That does sound good.” Ash turned his head and kissed Eli lingeringly. “But only if I get to tend to you right back.”

  Eli smiled, stroking his fingers along the tense muscles of Ash’s stomach. As hard as these last few days had been, he loved going to sleep next to Ash and waking up beside him. When the semester was over, if Ash felt the same way he did, Eli wanted to talk Ash into moving in with him.

  And if Ash wanted to leave for Atlanta come spring, Eli would deal with that then. He’d asked Melanie some more questions about that job offer, and it sounded like everything that Ash could want. He’d be near family and his best friend, who’d be able to use his support. He’d be working toward national defense security and protecting US soldiers.

  Thinking about inviting Ash to live with him had to be the biggest step he’d ever made. His grandparents’ house had always been a haven to him, and the idea of opening it up to someone else shouldn’t be so easy, but with Ash, it was. That in itself was scary. In the back of his mind he kept telling himself that Ash would leave, just like everyone else. And his damned foolish heart kept replying that Ash was different, and even if he did leave, this time with him was worth it.

  “I like the sound of that.” Eli’s heart skipped a beat as he undressed and followed Ash into the shower. There wasn’t much room, not that Eli needed an excuse to mold himself to Ash. Hot water poured down their bodies and steam filled the air as Ash turned around in his arms to face him.

  “I’m sorry you’ve been stuck in the hotel while I visit Kurtis,” Ash murmured, pressing his forehead against Eli’s.

  “I didn’t come for him,” Eli replied, cupping the nape of Ash’s neck. “I came for you.”

  Ash’s eyes warmed as he pressed Eli back against the tiles. “And it’s what kept me together, so let me thank you.”

  Eli’s heart flipped again as Ash kissed him slow and deep. Damn, he loved Ash. It was on his lips to say it when the kiss broke, but he stopped himself. No, now wasn’t the time. Later, when Kurtis was steadier and Ash wasn’t so vulnerable.

  Then Ash knelt, and Eli groaned as he took Eli’s cock into his mouth, sinking all the way down. Eli couldn’t get enough of Ash’s mouth, and the expression in his eyes tore down all of Eli’s defenses. He sighed, leaning his head back on the tiles. “Fuck... I do love you.”

  His heart lurched. Oh God, he couldn’t believe he’d just blurted it out loud like that. He was such a fucking idiot. Already flushed from the shower, his cheeks heated even more. His heart pounded and his stomach clenched as he waited for Ash to push away. Eli glanced down at him, and his embarrassment faded at the sparkle in Ash’s eyes and at how goddamned sexy he looked with his mouth stretched around Eli’s cock.

  “I’m that good, huh?” Ash teased, after slipping his mouth off and flicking the head with his tongue.

  “Something like that,” Eli replied, both relieved and disappointed that Ash seemed to think he was joking. Then Ash took him into his mouth again and it was hard to feel disappointed about anything. Not when Ash was going down on him like he was worshiping Eli’s cock. “Oh dear God.”

  Eli slid his hands over Ash’s short hair. The combination of the hot suction of Ash’s mouth, the steamy air, and the light in Ash’s eyes as he looked at Eli as if he were the only person that mattered in the world made it hard for Eli to catch his breath. Ash’s hands slid up Eli’s thighs, cupped his hips and pinned him to the tiles as his mouth worked him. “Fuck, Ash.”

  Ash bobbed his head faster, his tongue alternating between lashing and stroking as Eli panted curses and pleas. He had Eli caught good. A blunt finger sank into him, and Eli’s thighs trembled. “Dammit, keep doing that and I’m yours for life.”

  Ash answered that with a harder suck and a swirl of his tongue that left Eli gasping. His balls tightened as he groaned, and Eli vowed that in just a few minutes he’d give Ash a taste of the same pure torment.

  “You have the sexiest expression on your face,” Ash said, pausing in his sucking to nuzzle at Eli’s balls. Another finger sank inside of him, twisting, teasing as Ash mouthed his sac.

  “My turn,” Eli panted, and Ash shook his head, thrusting hard with his fingers.

  “Not until I’m done with you.” Ash continued to thrust as he sank his mouth down again. Fuck, the man could deepthroat. Ash quickly found a rhythm between his fingers and mouth that had Eli on the edge and begging. But it was that happy sparkle in Ash’s eyes that sent him roaring over. He was so in love with Ash it wasn’t even funny.

  Eli’s orgasm left him gasping, leaning against the tiles for support as Ash grinned up at him, the tension and exhaustion gone from his face. “You get the hottest expression on your face when you come.”

  “And you say the damndest things.” Eli held out his hand to help him up, but Ash shook his head and grabbed the soap.

  “I’m not done yet,” Ash said as he lathered up a washcloth. “We’re tending to each other remember? I’m going first.” The cloth slid up Eli’s legs, soaping him from his toes to the tops of his thighs. “You know, I really love your legs.”

  Ash made a sexy sight himself on his knees, his skin flushed from the heat, his body cut from working it hard. And as much as Eli wanted to get his hands on him, Ash wouldn’t let him budge until he’d washed every inch of him. “My turn,” Eli breathed, snatching the washcloth away.

  Eli turned Ash toward the wall and started with his back, watching the way the water ran the soap off of him almost as soon as it touched his skin. The burn mark on his side extended an inch or two onto his back, and there were other smaller scars, white with age, but they didn’t take anything away from how beautiful Eli found him. It made him ache instead, with love and desire, and the persistent nagging wish that Ash would remain his for the rest of their lives.

  He knelt behind Ash and was faced with the tightest ass he’d ever had the pleasure to lay his eyes on. Small and perfect, just the right size for Eli to lay his hands on. He tossed aside the washcloth and soaped his hands instead, running them over the taut skin, teasing his fingers along the cleft as Ash caught
his breath.

  Eli grinned and pushed his cheeks apart, watching the water run down to his puckered hole. “Don’t want to miss this spot,” he murmured and leaned in, rubbing his tongue over Ash’s entrance.

  Ash groaned, laying his cheek against the tiles. “Aw, damn, Eli.”

  Eli smiled at the sound of that husky voice and pressed a kiss against Ash’s contracting hole. He flicked his tongue again, teasing, probing as Ash shuddered, making the sexiest pleading sound in the back of his throat. It wasn’t something Eli had heard from him before and he wanted more. “Spread your legs wider, Georgia.”

  He had Ash shift until he was leaning against the tiles, arms braced and legs spread. There wasn’t any room in the shower, but Eli didn’t care as he went right back to tormenting Ash. He slid his hand between Ash’s thighs and cupped his balls. Then he returned right back to Ash, spread out before him, and pushed his tongue inside him.

  Ash groaned, his body jerking, and Eli would’ve smiled again if his mouth wasn’t so busy. He worked his tongue, alternating between circling it and pushing it inside. “I never would’ve taken you for a squirmer,” he teased, nipping one smooth cheek.

  “You never seen me with the devil kneeling behind me,” Ash said, looking over his shoulder at him. “You’re enough to make any man crazy.”

  “I’m just getting started.” Eli pushed his hair out of his face and ran his hands over Ash’s legs. He wasn’t going to stop until Ash was as crazy about him as Eli was for his lover. There was no getting Ash out of his system. And one way or another, he’d get Ash to realize just how good they were together.

  Ash stared up at the ceiling, fingers playing with the ends of Eli’s hair as his thoughts whirled in endless circles. Eli didn’t stir when he slept, and his head was heavy on Ash’s shoulder. He was enjoying that weight right now and the feel of Eli’s breath on his bare skin. It kept him grounded.

  His thoughts returned to Kurtis, struggling to cope with the sudden changes in his life. Guilt. His friend felt guilty for surviving. Guilty for that brief moment of relief that it hadn’t been him who was being buried in Arlington. It made Ash writhe inside for the same reasons it no doubt made Kurtis writhe.

  What the hell was wrong with him? That moment of relief ate at him like acid in his veins.

  Beating himself up wouldn’t make Mike come back, but telling himself that didn’t help much. Seeing Mike’s brother at the funeral had helped some, because sure enough, the man’s parents hadn’t come to bury their son.

  Still, that hadn’t been as much comfort as Eli’s quiet, solid presence next to him as they lowered Mike into the ground. Ash wouldn’t have ever met Eli if it wasn’t for Mike. He wouldn’t have had a chance to hold Kurtis’s kids or help his friend come to terms with his injuries. Fuck that moment of relief. Ash squeezed his eyes shut as they burned. If only he could take that thought back. Just remembering it made Ash want another drink.

  He wasn’t going to go down that path.

  Ash turned his head and brushed his lips over Eli’s forehead, breathing in the scent of his hair. His thoughts skittered back to Mike with a brief surge of remembered fear as he recalled the day he almost died. He could still remember that woman’s eyes, large and dark, fringed with long, black lashes. They’d been beautiful eyes that didn’t belong to a killer. He’d never forgotten those eyes.

  Every time Ash thought he’d left the past behind him, something would remind him vividly of that day. Like when his reserve unit had been activated, or getting that phone call about Kurtis and Mike. And he’d be right back there, remembering those eyes and the stony expression in them that he’d so stupidly missed at first. He’d seen what she’d wanted him to see until it was too late.

  Caught between being asleep and wakefulness, the memories overwhelmed him until Ash jerked himself out of them. He froze, his breath unsteady as Eli stirred next to him. He slid his hand soothingly along Ash’s side and tipped his head back to look at him with a sleepy gaze.

  “Your heart’s pounding.”

  “It’s nothing,” Ash replied, laying a kiss on those upturned lips. “Go back to sleep.”

  Concern darkened Eli’s blue-gray eyes, and he hesitated before speaking. “You know, you can talk to me. I’m not going to suddenly think you’re hateful just because you tell me what’s been bugging you. It goes deeper than Kurtis and Mike, doesn’t it?”

  Ash’s hand stilled on Eli’s back, the other man’s hair still tangled around his fingers. “Isn’t that enough? Anything more would be selfish of me, wouldn’t it?” he said lightly, looking back up the ceiling as his heart started to race again.

  “You’re not selfish.”

  “Known me only a couple months and already you can say what manner of a man I am?” Ash replied, his insides roiling into a tumbled mess. “You’re not the best judge of character.”

  Eli spoke of love during the heat of sex, but he never said anything like that any other time. What did he really feel for Ash? And how would that change when Ash told him about all the ugly things from his past? When he told him his initial reaction when he heard about Kurtis and Mike. Eli was fiercely independent, and Ash couldn’t see him sticking with one man for very long. Best not to let himself get too caught up in how good Eli made him feel.

  Eli stiffened next to him and then propped himself up to give Ash an intent look. “Don’t try to pick a fight with me. Wayne’s a good man who made stupid decisions. I think we’ve all been there at some time.”

  “Didn’t stop you from misjudging him when his intentions were staring you right in the face.”

  Eli’s gaze narrowed and his jaw squared. “Who’s this really about, Ash? Me or you?” Ash closed his eyes, hiding from blue-gray eyes only to be confronted with darker ones. Eyes he’d misjudged. Fingers brushed his side, and Eli’s hand splayed on Ash’s stomach. “What is it?” Eli asked quietly.

  Ash loved the sound of Eli’s voice, warm and compelling, just like the man. He loved him. Ash’s eyes popped open as he took in Eli’s face, hovering close to his own, and all those feelings that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding at bay flooded through him.

  He was in love with Eli.

  “It’s an ugly story.”

  “Maybe it’s time you told it to me. Maybe I’m not the best judge of character, but I am a good listener.”

  Eli wouldn’t press him if Ash told him he wasn’t ready or didn’t feel like talking, and that was what decided him. Eli would give him all the time he needed. Just knowing that was enough.

  “We were in Iraq, and damn, it was such a hot mess that year, suicide bombings, car bombings, people getting kidnapped everywhere. The tension was so fucking brutal.”

  All the chaos was enough to make a man crazy. There were days when it seemed like the entire world had gone insane or the real world had ceased to exist and all that was left was this hot hell that he couldn’t escape. Talking about it put him right back in his memories, smelling the stink of his own sweat and the fear that permeated everything, until Eli started rubbing a thumb over his skin.

  “We were trying to help the police force get a handle on things, and it was so damned difficult when you couldn’t trust anyone. It was so fucked up, Eli, you just don’t know. They were using kids to trigger some of those bombs. Who the fuck does something like that?”

  That still fucked him up inside, all those little bodies and haunted eyes.

  “I can’t begin to imagine what it was like for you.” Eli’s fingers continued to soothe, stroking Ash’s stomach. “Or how close you must be with Kurtis. He was there with you, right?”

  “Yeah.” There was no jealousy in Eli’s expression. Some guys might not understand, might resent that closeness, but not him. It filled Ash with a profound sense of relief. He’d had one too many lovers who’d been threatened by that and had given him hell. If there was no trust, then what was the point? “He kept me from going nuts in the burn unit after I got hurt.”

  “And you�
��re keeping him from going crazy now. And from what you’ve told me of him, he doesn’t seem like the kind to turn his back on the world and his family.”

  “He’s not.” Ash had to remember that, had to believe in it so Kurtis saw it when they talked.

  He tightened his arm around Eli, determined to get the rest of the story out. “We were on patrol, trying to make it so people could come out of their damn houses without wondering if they were gonna get their guts blown out when they did. This woman ran toward me, staggering as if she were in shock, her belly big. And I didn’t see what I should’ve seen. I saw what she wanted me to see.”

  A pregnant woman mourning.

  “It all happened so damn fast. I’ve got her eyes seared into my damn brain. I don’t think I’ll forget them as long as I live. She began shouting, hell, everyone did. I should’ve shot her, but I froze. Dammit, Eli, I hesitated. My instincts screamed that she was a suicide bomber, and I still couldn’t pull the trigger. It’s what I was trained to do and I didn’t.”