Tricky Wisdom: Year I

by Camryn Eyde

  “Excuse me, I am doing no such thing.”

  “Then give the fuck-me eyes a rest. No one needs to be witness to your descent into appalling desperation, and I’m tired of protecting you.”

  Olivia stormed off leaving me utterly shocked that she even knew how to swear.

  Shocked that I was, it took me a good five minutes to say, “Wait, protecting me from what?” I looked around at the empty corridor for answers. The unused gurney and IV stand offered no clues.

  

  “Hi,” Kara said one gray afternoon in early February as she climbed the low stone wall marking the quadrangle grass.

  “Ah…hi?” I said, my sandwich halfway to my mouth.

  “May I sit with you?” Kara asked me as she parked herself on the grass in the quadrangle where I usually ate my lunch.

  “Sure.”

  “Kara,” she said, holding out her hand.

  Mine were sticky from the peanut butter and jelly oozing from my sandwich, so I grimaced apologetically and said, “I know. We do inquiries together, and basically every single first-year course.”

  She smiled. Perfect white teeth all beautifully lined up. It was a stunning smile. “And you’re Darcy Wright.”

  “I am.” I grinned.

  “It feels silly that we waited seven months to introduce ourselves properly,” Kara said. She was right. A lot of the other med students met up socially and studied in groups together. I had Olivia to study with, and really, that’s all any prospective doctor needed. Socially, I couldn’t afford to do much, so I scrimped and saved my dry cleaning coins for cheap beer that Olivia scowled at when I drank it. “Hello?” Kara said, her hand was waving in front of my face.

  “Hi. Sorry, I zoned out. You’re right, it’s strange we haven’t really met before. I mean, you’re in our rotation group now, so really, we should have said hi before now…right?”

  She smiled at my rambling.

  “Well, now we have, and I must say, it’s an absolute pleasure.” She smiled and touched my forearm, an action that set alarms off in my head.

  Oh, hell, was that a come on, or just a friendly gesture? Not having any clue what to do, I stuffed my sandwich in my mouth and nodded my head.

  “So, where are you from Dr. Wright?” Kara asked with a crooked smile.

  “Minnesota.”

  “Do you have anyone waiting at home for you?”

  I frowned. “Uh…my parents?”

  Kara giggled. A full-on genuine high-pitched giggle. It made me fidget. “No, I meant a significant other.”

  “Oh…” I thought of Taylor by pure reflex. That ship had long sailed. I sighed and looked away. I spotted Olivia scowling at me from the benches near the building. Ugh, now what had I done? I chomped down hard on my sandwich and glared back at her. Around a mouthful of food, I mumbled, “No, there’s no significant other.”

  Kara soaked that information up and her eyes scanned the quadrangle to follow my gaze. She frowned and cocked her head at something. “What about her?” Kara asked when she noticed I had spotted Olivia.

  My sandwich got stuck in my throat “Olivia?” I managed to choke out when I cleared my airway.

  “Yeah, you two seem to have a…thing.”

  “A thing?” I shook my head vigorously. “No. No thing. I mean, we kissed that one time, but no, nothing else.” Christ, why did I say that?

  “You kissed her?”

  “Well, technically, she kissed me.”

  Kara stared at me for a moment. “Let me get this straight…sort of. You’re a lesbian?”

  “I…what?” Oh my God, I’d totally outed myself to a stranger. Fearful of her response I tried smiling. I could see from her reaction it didn’t look convincing.

  “Forgive me for being forward, but I find that I don’t really have time to waste chasing the wrong skirt, if you know what I mean? With the amount of time we need to study, I need to know straight up if I’m even in with a shot.” She gave Olivia a side-long glance.

  I had no idea what she meant and nor could I formulate a response.

  Kara waited for my reaction for a short time before blushing…a lot. “I got it all wrong didn’t I?”

  “Wrong?”

  “Well, I’ve been watching you this past few weeks, not in a creepy way I might add, but you just seem…I’ve seen the way you look at women.”

  I blinked. “How do I look at women?”

  “You look at them with more interest than is usual for a straight girl.”

  “I do?”

  Kara nodded. “Her especially,” she said, looking back over at Olivia.

  I would have laughed if I wasn’t so shocked. Since when do I look at Olivia? It was Kara I was getting in trouble for looking at. “Olivia? That woman drives me insane. She’s my roommate.”

  “You live with her?”

  I nodded. “She’s neurotic. She’s a great teacher though.”

  “Teacher?”

  “She’s teaching me how to cook.”

  “Oh.” Kara didn’t seem to know what to do with that information. She started packing up her lunch and stood. “I’m sorry for coming on so strong. I don’t usually get so muddled.”

  “Wait.” I rushed to my feet. “Yes.”

  “Yes what?”

  “I’m gay. Have been since forever.”

  Kara smiled. It looked like a victorious grin. “May I sit with you in the next class?”

  “Absolutely.” A smile stayed with me most of the way to class. I had a feeling I’d just successfully flirted with, and potentially picked up, my first woman. Noticing Olivia’s scowl as Kara sat beside me wiped the grin right off my face. Oh, hell.

  Chapter Eight

  “I see you made a friend,” Olivia said later that week as she guided me through the technique to make pizza dough. She had decided she was fed up with me ordering the junk food, and decided it was high time I learned how to make it myself.

  “Who? Kara?” I said, washing flour from my hands.

  “She’s been your shadow since Monday.”

  “She’s just being friendly,” I said, rolling out the dough as I was instructed. “She asked if she can study with me.”

  “I bet she did,” Olivia muttered under her breath. “Stop!” she said to me next. “You’re massacring the dough. Get it back into a ball and try again…gently this time.”

  I did as I was told. This time I successfully rolled out a perfect pizza base. Sort of. It was a little elliptical, but I figured it would still taste like pizza in the end. Next we tipped on the tomato sauce Olivia had make me make from scratch. It was yummy.

  “Okay, now assemble the toppings, sprinkle with cheese, and put it in the oven.”

  Following the instructions, I stood back proudly and watched my pizza bake. “How long does it cook for?”

  “Twelve to fifteen minutes. Depends on the oven. So, what did you say?”

  “Huh?”

  “To Kara about studying together?”

  “Oh…I said maybe we could catch up at the library sometimes. I didn’t think you’d want her here, and to be honest, I prefer to study with you anyway.”

  Olivia looked at me for an extended moment. “Okay then,” she said with a short nod. “Don’t forget to keep an eye on your pizza as you clean up.” She promptly left the kitchen and shut herself in her room. I rolled my eyes at her. So weird.

  

  “This is lovely,” Kara said a few days later as we soaked in the spring sun. The grass had dried out, and while it was brown and crispy, it was still suitable to lounge about on. We’d just finished our morning lecture on the respiratory system. She had sat beside me since the day she introduced herself. It was nice not to sit by myself. Kara had a tendency to whisper a lot, but I figured the company made up for the distraction from the lecturer.

  “Yeah,” I said, opening my water bottle. It wouldn’t come off. Groaning with effort, I was forced to concede defeat. Dehydration was in my future.

  “Here,�
�� Kara said with a chuckle as she watched my efforts. She twisted the top off with ease.

  “I loosened it,” I said as she handed it back.

  “No, I work out.” She took my hand and put it on her arm as she flexed it. “See?”

  “Uh…” I nodded.

  She smiled that perfect smile again and pulled my hand from her arm.

  Over the course of the past week or so, I found out that Kara was Texan and from a wealthy ranching family. She had a brother at Yale doing law, and another in fourth year at John Hopkins Medical School. She was a very smart and very good looking woman. She had also told me she was a lesbian halfway through a lecture on medical policy. I had choked on my gum, which started me coughing and earned me whispered ‘shut it’ from Olivia who sat behind me. I looked over my shoulder and glared at her. Since Kara had begun sitting beside me, I had noticed Olivia’s seat placement had crept closer to mine. She informed me when I confronted her about it that the acoustics behind my regular seat were optimum for hearing the professor…when Kara wasn’t constantly whispering at me, that is.

  “So, Darcy, I’ve established you’re single, you’re planning to get your General Practitioners license, you’ve never had a relationship, and that you throw all your love at a car stored in your dad’s shed.”

  “Uh…yeah?” Kara was an expert question-asker and sometimes, I almost felt like I was being interrogated. Her pretty smile and twinkling dark eyes made up for it though. Kara was tall, slim, and probably looked terrific without her clothes on. I blushed as that thought crossed my mind, hoping like crazy she couldn’t mind read.

  Kara reached over and interlaced our fingers. I gulped.

  “A few of us are meeting at the bar tonight. Will you come with me?”

  “I…” I faltered. I had a shift at Sunny’s and wasn’t being paid until next Thursday. The life on a student wage was a frugal one.

  Kara cocked an eyebrow.

  I didn’t want to tell the rich woman that I was working for minimum wage cleaning dubious stains off clothes. “I can’t really afford to this week. Can we rain check it?”

  Kara smiled and shook her head as my pathetic financial situation was revealed. “Oh, sweetie, you don’t have to pay for anything. It’s on me.” Kara lifted my hand and kissed the knuckles. Wow…that was rather sexy.

  “Am I interrupting something?” Olivia said as she appeared out of nowhere.

  I yanked my hand out of Kara’s softer one. “It wasn’t me!” I said and shut my eyes to groan. Why did I say that?

  Olivia cocked her head at me then smirked. “Is that your go-to guilty response?”

  I scowled and rubbed at the ache forming in my stomach. I swear Olivia gave me stomach ulcers.

  Kara was looking between the pair of us curiously. “Hi, I’m Kara,” she said, holding her hand out to Olivia.

  “I’m aware of that,” Olivia said, ignoring the hand and nodding curtly instead. I rolled my eyes. “So, this is a cozy lunch,” Olivia said. “Mind if I join you?” To my surprise, she sat down on the dried grass. What happened to her adamant stance about how positively unrefined it was to sit on dirt?

  “Umm…” Kara said.

  “Great.” Olivia pulled out her rabbit food with feta cheese. “So…what are we talking about?”

  “Drinks,” I said.

  “Oh? With whom?”

  “Kara. She asked me to join her and some of the others at the bar tonight.”

  “Did she?” Olivia turned her shrewd gaze onto Kara. “Who else is going?”

  “Ah…” Kara shrugged. “I won’t know until we get there.” Kara made a show of looking at her watch. “Damn. I wanted to run past the library before next session. I’d better hurry.” She packed her things and stood. Looking at me, she touched my shoulder and said, “Please come tonight. My shout. I’ll be there at nine.”

  Feeling I’d better do the polite thing when offered free drinks, I smiled and nodded. “Cool. See you later then.” I’d also be done at work, too.

  “What are you doing?” Olivia snapped when Kara was out of ear-shot.

  “Nothing.”

  “You’re holding hands and saying yes to a date. I’d say that’s more than nothing.”

  “A date? That’s not what this is.”

  “Oh, really? Christ, Darcy, how blind are you?”

  “I’m not blind at all, thank you very much. I made a friend, deal with it.”

  “Kara has been flirting with you all year. I know you’re inexperienced, but surely you can see that?”

  I pouted and thought back to all the little touches Kara had given me. “So what?”

  Olivia huffed. “You’re clearly rebounding from your obsession with Taylor.”

  “I wasn’t obsessed with Taylor.”

  Olivia scoffed. “You mentioned her every second of the day, and honestly, it’s been a relief not to hear about it anymore.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m cutting my losses and moving on.”

  “Thank God. It’s about time you did, but not with Kara.”

  I threw my hands up. “Why the hell not? She’s apparently interested.”

  “And she’ll be disinterested just as quickly. I asked around, Kara likes a challenge, but once she’s had her fill, she moves on.”

  I scrunched my face up. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “Don’t be so naïve.”

  “And what the hell are you doing running about and investigating her? What sort of creeper move is that?”

  Olivia rolled her shoulders and did her best to look impassive. “You’re my roommate. I can’t have people we hardly know stomping through the apartment. I pre-screened her for you.”

  “Pre-screened her? God, what does that even mean?” I shook my head and a thought popped into my head. “Wait. Did you screen me too?”

  “Of course I did, though sometimes, I wonder if I should have asked for a psych evaluation first.”

  Making a frustrated grunting noise, I started shoving my belongings into my bag. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

  “Yes, I do, but I’m also stupid enough to try and protect you from the likes of Kara Adelman.”

  “I don’t need protecting.” I stood and rubbed at the cramp-like feeling in my gut.

  “Yes, you do. I’m coming with you tonight. What’s wrong with your stomach?”

  “I don’t need a chaperone.” I tried to ignore the fact my voice was now whining like a child. “And you give me ulcers.”

  “Too bad. I’m coming anyway. I don’t trust her. In fact, I don’t trust you either. Consider me your wingman. Or woman.”

  “God. Whatever.” I hoisted my bag onto my bag and skulked off.

  “Stop eating so much grease.”

  “What?”

  “Your stomach. Probably complaining about all the saturated fats you feed it.”

  I scowled. Olivia was exasperating.

  

  I arrived at the bar early, escaping my apartment before Olivia got out of the bathroom. I figured if I wasn’t there when she came out, then she wouldn’t come at all. I chuckled to myself at my brilliant plan, positive that Olivia really didn’t care what I got up to, unless it was eating fried chicken on the couch. That she hated.

  Victorious, I perched myself on a barstool and waited while subtly sniffing at my skin. I hadn’t had a chance to shower myself, and something ripe and unsavory was all over a bag of clothes that I had to deal with earlier.

  I should have showered.

  “Can I get you something?” the bartender asked me.

  “Thanks, I’ll wait for my friend.”

  Then my friend walked through the door. Wow. Kara’s hair was down and flowing in silky strands over her shoulders. She had tipped herself into a pair of skinny jeans and equally as skinny sequined top. I couldn’t help but stare at the swell of her top, or the way her hips swayed. She was like a tempting piece of chocolate I wanted to unwrap and taste. Her movements were fluid, and I felt a nice rush of
desire escalate through my skin. About to smile at her, I was distracted by the next person entering the bar.

  Crap.

  It was Olivia and I had no chance of preventing my jaw from dropping. I’d never seen her in anything but jeans and tops, and that one time with the towel, but this time, she was wearing a very short and very tight, little black dress. Holy hell. Kara’s legs were something, but Olivia’s were something else. Where Kara was temptation in tight pants, Olivia was just…damn. My mouth went dry when my eyes roamed over her body. I knew she was an attractive woman, I wasn’t dead, but I didn’t know she could look like this. She was everything anyone could ever want to feast on without the chocolate-induced cavities. I blushed a brilliant crimson when I wondered what she looked like under that tight piece of fabric.

  Oh, hell in a handbasket. Stop undressing her. My eyes dropped down to her chest again. And stop staring at her boobs! Yet, try as I might, I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she approached me with a smug grin on her face. I’m in so much trouble.

  “Hi,” she said breathlessly, taking me by surprise.

  I vaguely noticed Kara’s sour expression as I answered, “Uh…” Smooth.

  Olivia leaned in and my breathing ceased entirely as she afforded me a view down her dress. Lace encased her breasts and it was taunting me with how I was allowed to look but not touch. It was then that I recognized my rather large, unavoidable, and consuming crush I had on my roommate. When the hell did that happen? Oh, crap. Oh, hell. Oh, my freaking God! This was such a bad idea. “Huh?” I said, realizing that Olivia had asked me a question. I had to physically drag my eyes away from her cleavage.

  Olivia just smiled at me and said, “About time.”

  The thing is, I don’t think those words weren’t referring to my inability to stop staring at her breasts. I’m positive they meant a whole lot more and I realized it had taken me far too long to catch up.

  Everything made so much more sense now. The way I kept comparing Taylor to Olivia, and then Kara to Olivia. The way I did my best not to obsess on that kiss at Thanksgiving. The fact I rejected Taylor for her, and the way Olivia kept running interference on Kara’s advances. Little things fell down on top of me like an avalanche of clues. Olivia always had something for me to eat after my late-night shifts at the dry cleaner. She did my laundry with hers, citing that it just made efficient sense, and even though that was supposed to be my job now, she said she didn’t trust me and kept doing it anyway. Not once had she asked me for laundromat money. She even let me watch the Super Bowl with the sound on.