The Peter & Charlie Trilogy

by Gordon Merrick

  There was no risk of his getting an erection now, even though a hand had found the pouch again. He couldn’t imagine what he had done to encourage such persistence. The chest rolled off his face. He wrenched his hand free and twisted his body clear of other entanglements and for a moment felt no hands on him as he sprang to his feet. Yanni came up with him, reaching for the top of his trousers. He knocked the hands away, stepped back, tripped on something, swung at him. It was another glancing blow, but it momentarily removed Yanni from his immediate vicinity. The other two were up now and lunged at him. He squared off, took aim and drove his fist with all his weight behind it into an approaching chin. He felt the shock all the way up his arm. There was a gratifying crack and his assailant crumpled to the floor. He turned quickly and brought his knee up hard into the other’s crotch. There was a shriek of pain and the Greek staggered back and fell onto one of the plank beds writhing in agony. Maybe this was a movie. Bodies were disposed picturesquely around the room. Only the one he had found attractive remained in the field. Peter was breathing hard and his eye felt as if it were swelling shut, but he was spoiling for battle. He watched warily as Yanni approached, smiling ingratiatingly again. He stopped a few feet away and spoke, pointing at himself and then at Peter.

  Still propositioning him? Peter pointed at the door. “I’m going. Understood?”

  Yanni pointed at himself and Peter and then at the door and spoke again.

  Did he want them to go together? Peter shook his head. “I’m clearing out. Goodbye,” he said as he started to turn away. He just had time to register the murderous look that sprang up into the fierce eyes before Yanni sprang forward and smashed his fist into Peter’s mouth. “You son of a bitch,” he muttered as he regained his balance. He shook his head and went at the Greek with his fists. It was quickly evident that Yanni knew nothing about defense. He met Peter’s attack by swinging at him in return, leaving himself wide open. Peter methodically pounded his face with his fists, backing him across the room until his hands hurt and his arms ached. At last, Yanni fell to his knees with his arms around Peter’s hips and swayed forward and buried his face in his crotch. Peter’s sex swelled with triumph. He had beaten the Greek into submission; his body was his by right of conquest. He realized that the thrill of cruelty coursing through him was an aspect of desire. He wanted to go on hurting him. His sex grew against the battered face that was pressed to it.

  “Christ, I should fuck you till you couldn’t see straight,” he said hoarsely. His chest was still heaving. He thought of Charlie, worried and waiting for him. He pulled the Greek’s arms from him roughly and flung him to the floor. He lay on his stomach, shaken by silent sobs. Peter lingered over him another moment while his sex subsided. Cruelty was replaced by pity. Poor bastard, he thought, he must be really hard up if he was ready to go through all this for it. It was tough for faggots everywhere.

  He turned and rushed to the door. He had some difficulty with the big key that projected from it, but after turning it back and forth in a screeching lock, he got the door open and was away. He stumbled over rough terrain and found the road and set off at a fast pace. He hoped Charlie hadn’t worked himself into a state about him. The fight had dislocated his sense of time, but he didn’t think the whole thing had taken much more than half-an-hour. That wasn’t too long; Charlie was probably just beginning to worry now. Walking jarred his wounds and made his head throb, but he didn’t slow down. The vision of his left eye was dim, and it was swollen almost closed now. His mouth was more painful. He supposed some teeth had been smashed through it. His lips were stiff and felt enormous on one side. He kept them parted to ease the pain. He would probably have trouble speaking by the time he got back to the boat. That would be a nuisance because he was bursting to tell Charlie all about it.

  The memory that he had successfully isolated in some mental limbo all these years, the memory that had stirred during the fight, crowded his mind once more and for the first time since the event, he didn’t resist it. After ten years, his honor had been vindicated. The three Greeks had been an adequate substitute for the sergeant. He had almost forgiven Hal years ago. Silly son of a bitch.

  He had known from the beginning that his commanding officer had been on the make for him, although nothing overt had been said or done. When Hal returned from a leave and told him about meeting Charlie, it all came out into the open.

  “I told him I’d do anything to get you,” Hal said with a smile when he had summoned Peter to his office on some pretext to tell him about the meeting.

  “What did he say?”

  “He said I’d never succeed.”

  Peter laughed fondly. “That’s my Charlie. I’m glad he knows that.”

  Months passed and it became a sort of joke between them. Whenever Peter had a weekend leave, Hal would send for him on his return and quiz him.

  “Have you been a good boy? You haven’t succumbed to temptation?”

  “That’s what’s so amazing. I’m never tempted. I meet guys who would normally bowl me over and nothing happens. Like you, for instance, captain honey.” Peter smiled into the fascinating green eyes.

  “I wonder how Charlie’s doing.”

  “I don’t wonder. I know. It’s the same for both of us. I guess we were born for each other.”

  As the months passed, Peter longed for Charlie to move to San Francisco where they could be together at least for weekends. They had agreed before he was inducted that it would be easier for both of them to make it a clean separation, rather than subject themselves to the strains and frustrations of brief, irregular meetings. He still thought their decision valid, but being able to talk about him with Hal made a single-minded acceptance of military routine more difficult. He had been destined for West Point from birth and had always hated the prospect so that he hadn’t hesitated to resign his appointment in order to live with Charlie, but with the country at war he was proud to be in uniform. He was doing his duty and sharing his generation’s experience. He wished he would be shipped overseas so there could be no more question of having Charlie near him.

  He was killing a Saturday night as best he could on a weekend pass in San Francisco when he ran into Hal in a flagrantly queer bar. Peter noticed immediately that his captain had had a lot to drink.

  “I’ve been looking for you,” Hal said. “So this is the sort of place you frequent.”

  “Sure. I love joints like this. They’re so crazy. You up for the weekend, too?”

  “No. I told you. I was looking for you. I’m OD in the morning. I was having a drink or two with my fellow officers and gentlemen when I suddenly couldn’t stand not knowing what you were doing. It’s getting bad, soldier,” He drained his drink and rattled the ice in his glass for another.

  Even drunk, he didn’t lose his aristocratic look. Peter found his voice thrilling, deep and melodious, with haunting, dark resonances in it. “You’re planning to drive back tonight? You’d better take it easy on the booze.”

  “It’s a little late to worry about that. I’m properly potted. Do you expect me to really believe that you’re not out cruising?”

  “No. Honestly. I had dinner with a damn nice couple I’ve met here—guys, I mean. They don’t do the bars. I’ve been wandering around waiting to get sleepy.”

  “Well, here I am. I’m not bad, as pickups go.”

  “I’ll say, captain honey. You shouldn’t waste your time on me. Why don’t you circulate? There’re some very pretty numbers around.”

  Hal had been given a fresh drink. He drained off half of it in one gulp and stood looking at Peter, swaying slightly. “No. I’ll tell you what. If you’ll help me find my car, I’ll buzz on back. I just wanted to show myself. I suddenly got a funny feeling that tonight was the night you’d change your mind. I wanted to be available, in case. You can’t say I’ve pursued you up until now.”

  “No. It wouldn’t have got you anywhere, but I appreciate it. OK. I’m ready to go. Let’s have that old, crisp, military b
earing. The streets are crawling with MPs.”

  Hal finished his drink in another gulp. They put money on the bar and collected change and left. Hal walked straight but with great deliberation. He didn’t seem to know where the car was or particularly care. They walked back and forth slowly and finally turned into a side street and found it. Hal offered to drive Peter to his hotel and got in behind the wheel. After Peter had seated himself beside him, nothing happened. Peter looked at him. He was sitting very straight, but his eyes were closed.

  “Oh, for God’s sake.” Peter shook his arm and he came to with a start. “You can’t do a two-hour drive in this condition.”

  “Maybe better have a little snooze. Sleep it off in the car.”

  “You’re nuts. MPs don’t like officers sleeping in cars. If they found you, they’d wake you up and you’d have to drive.”

  “Got an extra bed.?”

  “Yes, but—” Peter hesitated but he couldn’t see anything really wrong with it and there was no alternative. Hal was too drunk to be left on his own. “All right. You can come with me. But listen. I can take care of myself if somebody makes a pass at me but I like you too much to go through all that. No nonsense. Promise?”

  “Scout’s honor.”

  “OK. Let me drive.” He got out and went around the car and found Hal still struggling to get out from under the wheel. He gave him a helpful push and got in. He was staying in a modest hotel near the Crystal Palace Market; he couldn’t afford anything grand. He had turned over the income from his investments to Charlie so that he could concentrate on his painting without having to find a job.

  He drove to the hotel and parked. Hal’s eyes were closed again. He nudged him with his elbow. “Hey. Pfc. Martin reporting, sir.”

  “Just dropped off for a moment, soldier,” Hal rumbled.

  “I can’t for the life of me remember my goddamn room number. You wait here. I’ll be right back. Are you listening? I’ll go up first and you can follow me.”

  Hal nodded and Peter left him and went into the hotel. He gave his name and collected his key. Servicemen were coming and going. He and Hal wouldn’t be conspicuous. He started back for the door and caught sight of Hal standing rigidly in a corner of the lobby. He went to him and muttered his room number and turned directly to the elevator. He had been in the room only long enough to turn on some lights when Hal knocked. He let him in and Hal immediately gathered him into his arms. It was nice to be held and Peter ran his hands over his back and gave him a hug before pulling away.

  “All right. Enough of that. You better get to bed. You’re going to have to get up at dawn.”

  Peter felt all his nerves tighten as Hal began to remove his beautifully cut jacket. He liked him. He was wonderful looking. He wanted to see his body. Was that all he would want? He had issued his invitation with the certainty that he was impregnable, but he knew suddenly that he was facing a test. He wouldn’t let anything happen even if he had to lock himself in the bathroom, but he didn’t want the clear, constant, obsessive preoccupation with Charlie to be broken. He wanted desperately not to feel the slightest quiver of desire for anybody. It would somehow tarnish the resplendent glow of his love.

  He undressed slowly as he watched Hal casually drop his clothes. He seemed much less drunk than he had a few minutes before. His shirt was off. Socks and shoes lay on the floor. He rose and with a swift movement of long legs stood naked in front of Peter.

  “No passes. Right?” Hal said, moving toward him.

  Peter’s eyes slid past him, gathering an impression of startling beauty. Trust Charlie. He removed his trousers, but left his brief underpants on. Hal stopped a few feet from him and smiled.

  “Isn’t this marvelous? You must know how often I’ve imagined it. You’re just as gorgeous as I thought you’d be, which is hard to believe. Aren’t you going to take that sexy little thing off?”

  “No. I don’t think Charlie would want me to.” Peter’s nerves were steadying. A deep, ecstatic contentment was spreading through him. He really did want only Charlie. In a moment he would be able to look at Hal without a qualm.

  “Don’t be silly. Dozens of guys see you naked every day. What’s wrong with me?”

  To prove to himself that this was, in fact, no different than the shower-room exposure of the barracks, he peeled off the bit of silken stuff and tossed it away. “It’s been damn near a year since I’ve been alone in a bedroom with a beautiful guy and look at me. Nothing. How’s that for true love?”

  “Beautiful. Darling Peter. I don’t suppose it’s a great surprise for you to see what you do to me.”

  Peter looked into the green eyes and laughed. “I’m not letting myself look, but I’m getting a pretty vivid picture out of the corner of my eye. It’s very flattering, but I told you you shouldn’t waste all that on me. We’d better cover you up. Go to bed.” He squeezed his arm as he passed him and went into the bathroom. When he returned, Hal was lying uncovered on the bed. His erect sex was lifted tautly above his belly.

  “Wow,” Peter exclaimed, confident now that he was invulnerable to temptation. “It’s a crying shame nobody’s getting any fun out of that. You and Charlie must have had a high old time together.”

  “Did he tell you about us?”

  “Sure. He said you taught him the works when he was a freshman. You sure did a good job of it. He’s fabulous.” Peter pulled back the covers of the other bed and lay down under them.

  “Did he say that? How amazing. I thought he was the most experienced kid I’d ever been to bed with.”

  “Oh, well, that’s Charlie. He always likes to pretend he’s one step ahead of everybody else.”

  “That stupendous cock. He’s certainly one step ahead of everybody there. Is it really as big as I remember?”

  “It’s big, all right, but if truth must be told, I’ve had bigger. Never better. For somebody who likes being fucked as much as I do, that’s saying something.”

  Hal swung his feet to the floor and rose and dropped down on the edge of Peter’s bed. Peter was immediately upright and sitting on the opposite side, poised for flight.

  “Now come on, honey. None of that. You promised. Go back where you belong.”

  “Can’t we just lie here and talk?”

  “Lie here, my Aunt Matilda! What do you think I’m made of, for God’s sakes? One of the most attractive guys I’ve ever known, waving that thing in my face. I’d love to hold it and make things happen. I could do that without getting a hard-on myself. There wouldn’t be anything unfaithful about it. It would be because I like you and you have a gorgeous cock, but I’m not going to. I want to go back to Charlie exactly the way I left him, no new experiences, no little secret thrills, nothing. It’s probably hard to understand what it’s like being so in love with somebody.”

  “Is it all right if I just sit here for a little while?”

  “If you put something over that.”

  Hal leaned across to the other bed and pulled the pillow to him and put it on his lap. Peter lay down again. Hal put his hand on the side of his face and stroked it. “If I can’t have anything else, I’d love to see you with a hard-on,” he said. “Isn’t there anything we can do about that?”

  Peter laughed. “Stick around till morning. All the guys in the barracks wake up that way. We compare them. It’s very military.” Feeling the warmth of companionship, soothed by the gentle hand, Peter was aware more poignantly than ever of the depth of his longing for Charlie. He didn’t see how he was going to get through another year of this. Another two? Tears welled up behind his closed lids. He took a deep breath that caught in his chest.

  “You two are really torturing yourselves,” Hal said. “I told Charlie. It’s a sweet idea, but it can’t work. If you go on like this, something’s going to snap.”

  “Did you try to take him to bed when you saw him in New York?”

  “Sure.”

  “I’m almost sorry you didn’t succeed.” Peter giggled. “If you had, may
be I would’ve been able to do something with you. Our teacher.” His mind slid down into a pocket of sleep and swooped up again. “What?” he asked dazedly.

  “I said, have you ever tried it the other way around?”

  “Fucked a guy? No. Oh, technically, Charlie once. But it was so sudden and unexpected that it doesn’t really count. When it comes to sex, I’m one of the girls. There’s never been any doubt about that.”

  “Wouldn’t you like to try it so you know what it’s like?”

  “Not really. Have you?” Peter felt himself spinning into another hollow of sleep.

  “As a matter of fact, no.”

  Peter put his hand on Hal’s and pressed it comfortingly against his face. “We both want a man called Charlie,” he mumbled. “Don’t let’s confuse ourselves.”

  Hal said something, but Peter didn’t hear him. He felt as if he were falling. He plunged and plunged again and was asleep.