by Lori Wilde
What had gotten into her? And why was he holding back? Ryder had no idea and she wasn’t waiting on him to formulate a kind, well-thought-out answer to her question. She was busy with that wicked mouth of hers, kissing his chest where his shirt was unbuttoned, running her hands inside the waistband of his Santa pants, making him harder than he’d ever been in his life.
“Katie,” he barked. “Stop it.”
She pulled back, startled, her eyes widening. “You really don’t want me, do you?”
“God, woman! I want you so badly I fear going blind with it.”
She wriggled back up against him. “Then what’s the problem?”
“You’re too good for this. And you’re breaking your own rules and you’re going to regret it. I don’t want you to regret it. Regret me.”
There it was. His fear. That at some point she was going to regret the rashness he seemed to ignite in her.
“I see.” She pulled back. Straightened. “I’m sorry.”
“Katie, it’s not you. I promise.”
“No worries.” She shrugged, but there was hurt in her eyes. She didn’t believe him.
Dammit. Fine. If she wanted him here, like this, then that’s what he’d give her. He tugged her into his lap, and slipped his hand up underneath her sweater tunic, over the waistband of her tights and her thong panties. Using his hand, he pleasured her with his fingers, doing things to her that had her mewling helplessly, while he kissed her and pinched her nipples through her clothes and whispered her name.
And when she came, shuddering hard, he held her in his arms for a long, long time.
Katie couldn’t stay away from Ryder. No matter how hard she tried. She was breaking her own rules and she had no idea why, other than when she was near him or thought about him, or dreamed of him, she got horny.
What a miserable state of affairs.
Time and time again, she found herself texting him, asking him to come over after ten at night and park the Harley in her garage.
And there he’d be.
Showing up on her back porch with a pizza or a Chinese takeout or tacos. They’d eat and talk and have sex. He’d tell her about his trying relationship with his dad, the financial shambles the ranch was in, how he spent his day. She’d tell him about how the prep for the wedding was going, or the volunteer work she was doing, and what was going on with her family.
They played with Harry, and baked Christmas cookies, and watched Christmas movies until three in the morning. Then Ryder would get on his Harley and drive away.
Every night, he’d ask, “Get your period yet?”
She’d shake her head. “Not yet. Not late yet.”
He’d squeeze her hand, and she’d squeeze his back, and they would make love, and each time was better than the last.
“If we made a baby,” he said. “I’ll be here for you. You know that, right?”
“Shh,” she’d whisper, and brush her knuckles over his lips. “Don’t borrow trouble.”
On December tenth, he said, “It’s been a week since the condom broke. You said you were getting your period in a week. You haven’t gotten your period yet.”
“It’s due today,” she said. “So not late. Tomorrow it will be late.”
The next day, her parents invited Ryder to Sunday dinner. It was the first time he’d had a chance to see her parents since he’d been back in town, and her folks had planned a big celebration.
The trick? How to get through the evening without tipping their hand that they were involved.
Katie thought they were doing a great job. They arrived separately. Made the rounds separately. Ryder mostly hung out in the kitchen charming her mother and shooting the bull with her dad and eating cookies. Katie spent time entertaining the kids, reading them Christmas stories in the den, or talking to Gabi about the wedding.
The evening grew later, and the couples with children started leaving. Gabi and Joe, Katie and Ryder ended up sitting around the kitchen table while everyone else was in the living room saying their good-byes.
“Are you guys going to Patsy and Hondo’s Christmas party Friday night?”
“It’s a couples-only party, why would Ryder and I be invited?” Katie asked, shaking her head.
“Give it up, sis,” Joe said. “We know.”
“Know what?” Katie plastered a palm to her chest, tried to look innocent.
“Let it go.” Ryder shrugged. “The jig’s up.”
“Wh-what gave us away?” Katie asked.
“Oh, like, everything.” Gabi giggled. “You two are as moony-faced for each other as Joe and I.”
“We are not.”
Joe rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m supposed to punch you on principle for dishonoring my baby sister.” Joe leaned over and thumped Ryder lightly on the shoulder with his fist. “There. Consider Katie’s honor defended.”
“I can’t believe you guys knew.” Katie shook her head. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“It was fun watching you guys slip around,” Gabi said. “We didn’t want to ruin your fun. We remember what it was like to slip around.”
Joe slung his arm around Gabi, kissed her until she giggled again.
Ryder met Katie’s eyes across the table, “So since everybody knows, wanna spend the night together?”
Katie glanced over her shoulder to see if her parents were in earshot. “Not going to happen,” she muttered.
Gabi leaned across the table to gloat at Ryder. “What that means, cowboy, is you struck out.”
Ryder dropped a laconic smile. “Takes three strikeouts to end an inning.”
“Throw as many pitches as you want,” Katie said. “I’m not swinging at them.”
“Wait a minute,” Ryder said. “If I’m striking out, doesn’t that mean I’m the batter?”
“I’m certainly not the pitcher,” Katie said. “I’m not the one throwing around sexual innuendo.”
“Maybe not intentionally.” Ryder’s gaze dropped to her chest. “But your body sure is.”
Katie glanced down and saw her nipples were so hard they were poking through her bra and T-shirt like miniature missiles.
“Deny it all you want, Katie Cheek. But you want me. You want me bad.” He grinned, got to his feet, and sauntered away all long-legged and loose-hipped.
Gabi leaned over and whispered, “You do kind of want him pretty bad. There’s no shame in going after him.”
“Over, dead, body, my,” Katie said, alarmed at how her jumbled thoughts came out of her mouth.
“Exactly,” Gabi said. “He’s reduced you to talking gibberish.”
“I’m screwed, aren’t I?”
Gabi winked. “Apparently in more ways than one.”
“Who all knows about us?” Katie whispered, leaning back in her chair in order to see Ryder shaking hands with her father in the living room and thanking him for the nice evening.
“Everyone,” Joe said.
She heard the front door close behind Ryder as he left, and the roar as the Harley engine popped into gear. “Everyone as in—”
“Your parents,” Mom said, coming into the room. “What do you think, Katie, we’re blind?”
Katie felt like she was going to hyperventilate. What did her parents think? She sneaked a glance at her mother’s face. “Um . . . um . . .”
“We adore Ryder, you know that,” Mom said, sitting down in the chair Ryder had just vacated. “But you need to be very careful, young lady.”
“I know, Mom. He could break my heart.” She was acutely aware of that. She didn’t need anyone to remind her.
Mom blinked. “Oh well, that too, I suppose.”
“Isn’t that what you were warning me against?”
“No dear, I was warning you against breaking his. Ryder has had enough hurt for a lifetime. Don’t you go toying with his affections. Hiding him like he’s a dirty little secret. For shame, Katie Cheek. For shame.”
Chapter 22
Her period was a week overdue. And
it had been two weeks since the night the condom broke. Katie kept telling Ryder not to worry, that her periods were irregular, and they were often a week or more late.
“I’m sure it will start today or tomorrow,” she’d told him every day since Sunday dinner at her parents, “Stress can make it late. Stressing might be the very thing holding it back, so please stop asking. I’ll let you know when I get it.”
“And if you don’t get it?”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” She worked hard to sound unconcerned. But she was worried.
So worried that she’d driven to the neighboring town of Jubilee to buy a pregnancy test, but she didn’t know how accurate the test was so soon after missing her period. Especially since her cycle was irregular, so she’d not taken the test yet.
Luckily, she’d been too busy to dwell on it. Since she and Ryder had been outed as a couple, they started openly dating and doing group activities with other couples. They went ice skating with Gabi and Joe. Took in a live performance of A Christmas Story with Emma and Sam. Went caroling with Jenny and Dean and the kids.
The events were all things Katie had done numerous times, but so many of them, Ryder hadn’t done before. At least not in Twilight. The ice rink hadn’t been built until after he’d left town. And in high school, he’d been banned from caroling on the town square based on his reputation as a troublemaker. And he’d never seen a play in the Twilight Playhouse all the way through, because he got kicked out for “ungentlemanly behavior” with young ladies in the balcony.
And then there were her duties as Gabi’s maid of honor. It was her job to make sure the other bridesmaids had gone for their fittings, had the right jewelry and the 411 on the pre-wedding activities. Write her toast speech for the wedding reception. Host the bridal shower, which was tomorrow, and make arrangements for the bachelorette party. Since the wedding was on Christmas Eve, the best time for the bachelorette ending up being today, Friday the sixteenth. The guys were having Joe’s bachelor party the same day.
Thank goodness, she’d done her Christmas shopping months ago. Otherwise, she’d be in deep pickle juice. Between the demands of her spectacular sex life and the wedding, she was barely keeping her head above water.
“Did you hire a stripper for Gabi’s bachelorette party tonight?” Jana asked when she came into the office with the mail.
“No, I did not hire a stripper.” Katie picked up the mail and started sorting through it, but she couldn’t really concentrate. Her mind was on what she and Ryder had gotten up to the night before. Chocolate body paint had been involved, and whipped cream.
“Aw.” Jana pouched out her bottom lip. “You were my last best hope for a rocking bachelorette party. Everyone else around here is such a fuddy-duddy.” She stared pointedly at Sesty, who ignored her.
“Just because I wouldn’t let you eat sushi off a bare-chested waiter at my bachelorette party doesn’t mean I’m a fuddy-duddy,” Sesty said.
“Tell you what, Jana,” Katie said. “When you get married, I’ll hire an entire herd of strippers.”
“Oh.” Jana shook her head. “That’s not happening. I’m never getting married.”
“Famous last words.” Sesty flashed her wedding ring for effect.
“Well, if I found someone as hot as Josh, maybe I’d reconsider,” Jana said. “But there’s no one here in Twilight who can live up to your man.”
Mine can, Katie thought. Then she thrilled a little at the idea of Ryder being her man, and squelched any lingering doubts running around in the back of her mind.
“Do you need any help with last-minute party prep?” Sesty asked. “You look too calm. I’d be freaking out if I was in charge of six wild bridesmaids and an anxious bride.”
Katie shook her head. “Don’t forget, I’ve been to lots of bachelorette parties. I know my way around the block. It’s all set. The limo will pick us up at six. Everyone is meeting here outside the office.”
“And if anything goes wrong, you can bet she has a contingency plan,” Jana said.
“Three actually.” Katie smiled but tried not to look smug about it. “But who’s counting?”
She turned her attention back to the mail, and saw an envelope with Marva Bullock’s name on it. Marva had already paid her bill. What was this? A Christmas newsletter, probably. She opened up the letter and read:
Dear Katie,
I can’t tell you how much you’ve streamlined my life. This has been a tough transition for G.C. and me as we adjusted to our changes in circumstance and downsizing, but you made it as seamless as possible. What a joy it’s been to watch you change from an uncertain teen into a competent, self-confident young woman running her own business. Just please don’t let your gift for order and tidiness keep you from taking risks. Life can be pretty messy sometimes, and you can’t always wrap everything up in a pretty bow. Remember, everyone needs a junk drawer.
All my best,
Marva
A lump formed in her throat as she stared at the letter, her chest tightening strangely as chill bumps ran over the back of her shoulders. It was as if Marva had guessed at the indecision that held her back from fully committing herself to Ryder. Or maybe she was reading more into it than was there. But Marva was a smart cookie and she didn’t miss much.
Please don’t let your gift for order and tidiness keep you from taking risks . . . Remember, everyone needs a junk drawer.
Was that what she’d been doing? Using her skill for organization and her need for order to avoid taking chances? Was her fear of making a mess keeping her from fully trusting Ryder by telling him she was in love with him?
She chewed on that thought for the rest of the day, and by the time six o’clock rolled around she wished she could skip out on the party and go home, slip into something sexy, and invite Ryder over. Take the risk, lay it on the line, and just say it. I love you.
Things had been going so well between them. He might not be able to say the words to her, but he’d shown her in countless little ways that he did love her. She could tell him first, and that would open things up for him to say the words to her.
But what if he didn’t say them back?
Katie bit her lip. Well, it was just a chance that she would have to take.
And she had to do it before she took that pregnancy test. Because if she took it and the test was positive, and then he said he loved her, she’d never know if it was because he really did or simply because she was carrying his child.
She wanted to do it right now. But instead, she was ushering six chattering bridesmaids and one exuberant bride into the stretch limo.
“I’m so excited,” Gabi said. “With you in charge, I know it’s going to be a wild and crazy but safe night.”
“I’ve got you covered,” Katie said, taking her iPad out of her purse to double check the schedule for the progressive party. First, dinner on the Brazos River at a new fine-dining restaurant that had just opened up.
“Put that away,” Gabi scolded. “I want you to have fun too.”
Reluctantly, Katie slid the tablet back into her purse, took a deep breath, and told herself to relax.
She leaned back against the seat of the limo, glanced around at the lively women beside her, all laughing and talking and teasing.
Gabi sat in the middle wearing a soft blue dress that accentuated the color of her eyes, and adorable cowgirl boots Joe had given her as a wedding present. She kept stretching out her feet to admire the boots, and when she thought no one was watching, surreptitiously texted on her phone.
Katie knew with certainty that she was texting Joe. Gabi would coyly glance at her cell phone screen, smile big, and press her lips together like she had a secret, before tucking the phone in the folds of her dress.
Her brother had hit the jackpot with Gabi. The woman adored him.
Katie’s heart thumped strangely inside her chest. An achy longing that flipped her stomach topsy-turvy as she realized that she and Jana were the only women in the lim
o who weren’t married or about to be. She didn’t begrudge any of them their happiness, but, oh, she wanted that too!
Why couldn’t she have that?
Because the man you’re crazy about is Ryder Southerland. The lone wolf who would never settle down.
Is that true, whispered a voice that had had an epiphany when she’d read Marva’s letter. Or are you afraid that big ol’ man will mess up your well-ordered life?
Gabi’s phone pinged with a text and when she looked at it, her face dissolved in a beatific smile. “Joe and the guys are going to join us at Chez Genevieve.”
“Aw,” Jana said. “This is supposed to be girls’ night out. That’s the point of a bachelorette party. No guys. Um, unless there are strippers.”
Gabi looked besotted and she blushed prettily. “Joe said he can’t go an entire evening without seeing me.”
“Ugh, I think I’m gonna puke.” Jana playfully slapped a palm over her mouth.
Jana might be down on love, but the way Gabi stroked the cell phone screen with her thumb as if stroking Joe’s face, and smiled dreamily, tugged at Katie’s heartstrings. She loved how kind and caring Gabi had roped her restless brother and brought him down to earth. It made her happy to watch the two of them together, Joe barely able to keep his hands off his bride-to-be. The endearing way he gazed at her as if the sun rose and set on her smile.
Emma and Sam looked at each other that way too. So did Sesty and Josh. Meredith and Hutch. And the two other bridesmaids, Sarah and Caitlyn and their men, Travis and Gideon.
And Ryder? He looked at her that way too.
Katie’s heart clutched, and sweet, bright heat spread like a virus through her body. Could she and Ryder have what their friends had?
She nibbled her bottom lip, considering. They were working on it. No doubt. The possibilities were there in the lingering glances, shared whispers, and spiked pulses.
They could have something great. Problem was, because of that bad-boy image, he thought he wasn’t good enough for her.
Which was so silly. The rascally things he’d done as a kid were bids for attention. He’d outgrown the behavior a long time ago. He was a good man, a decorated soldier. He’d given so much for his country. He deserved a little happiness.
